| Angel on Hiatus |
[22 May 2003|09:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 morose |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Brandtson - Boys Lie |
] |
Ugh. I'm so sick of being nice to everyone. I feel so gross inside and it's just arg. I'm so angry with shit. People think too highly of me. My fucking B dropped to an F in english. I'm so screwed. My dad is going to fucking kill me. I did so bad on my tests and didn't do like any of my homework. I fucked up so bad. Ugh. It's ridiculous. Ugh I'm just so sick of everything. I'm sick of these people (the exception of a select few, you should know who you are). I'm sick of school, I'm sick of waking up every morning with no desire or motivation. I used to look forward to seeing people. Now it's just like "Go die". I'm sick of my house, I'm sick of my family. I'm sick of being sick. I'm sick of feeling empty and fucking walking around acting like an idiot to please everyone else. Fuck them. I shouldn't have to parade around and act like I'm a wicked happy person. I'm not. I hate just about everything. I don't even think I'll go to school tomorrow... I'll be grounded this weekend... but what difference does it really make? None. It's just a weekend. The day of sleeping and getting away from everyone would so be worth it. I just need *Randi* Time. not *everyone else* time. I'm selfish. Fuck everyone else. When are they there for me? Seriously. I can honestly think of like... 4 people who actually are there for me. One of them like barely ever talks to me anymore because we managed to stop talking. Not talking to him hurts so much. Today we talked but it wasn't the same. He just looked so... uninterested. It's obvious he didn't want to talk to me. But of course, I just couldn't leave him alone. It's so lame. Ugh. I just BLAH. I don't even think I want to go to the "Festival" it's a waste of money. I don't know. i feel weird still, something of course is STILL missing but fuck it. I'm starting to get used to having a cavity in my heart. Whatever. I'm thinking of becoming one of those people who honestly DON'T CARE about anything. I'll live in a fucking box for the rest of my life. I'd be more satisfied with that, than the piece of shit I call my life. Ugh. I'm done ranting for now. Meh. Nite.
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