| from good to bad..... |
[06 Jun 2003|05:09pm] |
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ok well today was a kool day since its my friend's b-day (happy birthday kaitlyn!) and well i gave her 3 ballons and well then umm in third period we got to do watever we wanted it was like a free day.... so then i wanted to go to mr.d's room for lunch but he didnt let no1 go in so w.e.... ok then umm at 5th period it was kool like always bcuz this teacher is really young and luvs to be a kid so on fridays she lets us do watever we want and most of the time we watch movies and shyt like that but today i asked her if i could go n see the drama performance.... ok so0o0o i went and it was really funny i liked it alot.... we have sum really good actors and actress... ok so0o0o the day continued well and then when i got in the bus to go home guess wat happens... ok well andrae and josh ask me if i like craig and i said "no" bcuz i dont like craig i use to tho.... well then they asked me again so i ignored them... and then after like 2 minutes josh cums up to me and asked me if i was gay and if i like craig and well all i said was " i dont gotta tell ur ass about my life" so then he went away... so now im home relaxing... finally friday and 2marrow ima go to sunset and chill and watch a movie with sum 6th grade friends o and i think a 9th grader is cumming ( i miss haging with my old friends... they moved away far but they still go to smms) ok well now im just here watching mtv and writing... well ima go now cuz i dont really feel like writeing.
bye much luv,
david
p.s. i luv u javi... today u looked so cute...
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| i hate myself... |
[06 Jun 2003|09:16pm] |
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t.a.t.u- not gonna get us |
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well i dont care that much about me rite now.... im really scared that alot of ppl mite be reading my journal bcuz as each day passes i hear more and more ppl telling me that they r reading my journal and i eachday that i hear that i feel less confidant and like if i dont belong in this world... dont tell no1 but in the 5th grade i stabbed myself near the heart with a knife but only my bro knows and he took me to the emergency room... i now feel like if it was a mistake for me to survive that and rite kno i wish it would happen again like if it were to be a replay... but this times not miss my heart... i really use to luv my self and every1 else but lately my spirit has shaddered and i wanna just leave the earth so i can make room for the people that haunt of me... i really dont know wat to do... i try to act all normal at skool but when i get home i splash with tears of hatred and i feel like shyt. if only i was never born and if only so much ppl wouldnt bother me. maybe its a phase but i wish i dont make the wrong decision and take my life away... i mean if theres a chance for my life to be recovered then ill start to luv evey1 else and myself also but if my life keeps on going like this then wats the use of even living... it feels like my heart is frozen and cold and like it has already died and now its waiting for the rest of me to die
i luv u all tho i doubt u all luv me baq i pray good thoughts about the ones that luv me baq and well for those that dont luv me its ok, but of those who hate me well i wish u good luck in ur life bcuz u sure did screw mine,
david...
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