| bad morning |
[29 May 2003|06:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
guns and roses- sweet child o-mine |
] |
well its morning and i feel super sick...i dont wanna go to skool bcuz i feel like shyt and i can barely do anything :-(... and i also wann stay home bcuz me being so stupid had a month to do this project for this teacher which is kinda kool but well w.e im just worried i wont finish it in time bcuz i also have to do a study guide for this teacher named DelRisco and it has like fucking 85 questions so im really scared im not gonna finisih all that shyt in one day.... well this is my first entry or this journal and its an awful experience... w.e bout all that shyt i should focus more on good things instead of worrying in dumb shyt like h.w.... ok well ive told about 20 ppl now that im gay and they all took it fine and this one stupid girl during lunch sceamed out that i was GAY and i got so pissed at her bcuz so many ppl heared...well my dad is gonna take me to skool today and i hope he gives me sum money bcuz everytime i go w/him he gives me money... well im out cuz i feel like throwing up... so peace..
david
|
|
| too much... |
[29 May 2003|05:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 horny |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
ace of base- dont turn around |
] |
o ok well today was ok at skool and i didnt do anything special but i guess it was ok since i got an A in two tests today... but ummm well im still not done w/the projects and im really scared bout wat mi teachers willl do if i dont turn them in.... so w.e im now home i should be doing my projects but i decided to take a lil brake and write in this journal... well today this dumbass kid named eddie pushed me down toward the floor and i was in total shock bcuz like i was talking to sum friends and then i feel sum1 nok me to the ground and i fall and guess wat i hear a crack and it was my fucking cell phone... it cracked(the screen) so ima tell my dad wat happened and his prolly gonna buy me a new one... sumtimes i think he has me way to spoiled and i think thats y sumtimes i ask for more than i have bcuz my dad grew me up that way... but i dont blame him for everything i mean its my life i should be able to control my actions... so w.e. and rite now i really dont feel like doing work i just wanna have sex or sumthing or give head... HELP! well i really luv this kid and today he was wearing a sweater and it looked so cute on him... i wanted to faint(lol)... if i ever told him i was gay he would prolly laugh and make fun of me bcuz u kno how all those ppl r.... well w.e im atry to forget bout him bcuz his str8 and im gay and str8 and gays dont go out or have sex or any of the above... but the problem is that ive been liking him for the past 2 years and i cant forget bout him... so i just wanna like tranfer skools or sumthing bcuz im going crazy everytime im near him...
comment on this ppl... if u ppl even read my crap... lol
well bye w/much luv
david
|
|
| sick of being lonely |
[29 May 2003|09:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
koolio- gangsta paradise |
] |
well im so tired of not having no1 gay to talk to and to lay on and to cry on i want sum1 so badly i need a boy that can understand me and a man to support me.... i want sum1 and its hard to express urself so emmotionly to the world when ur gay and 13 years old... atleast i got good friends but sumtimes they ac like shyt... i wish i had sum1 that luved me for who i am and that can have a relationship with... this gurl likes me guess wat homie if u havent realized im gay and i like dicks not pussy so just lay-off i wanna give head again bcuz i havent done it in such a long ass time.... u can say im sick... lonely... horny... i hope this is just a phase bcuz i cant live my life with knowing that i i cant have sum1... well friends that r reading plz comment and save me... i need help! thanx... o and any1 that is reading this plz comment on it
|
|
| me.... |
[29 May 2003|09:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 satisfied |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
action cop- fever for the flava |
] |
Name: david
Nicknames: davie, daviejones, richnoi, fatty, hunny
Birthday: 12-29
Eye color: brown
Hair Color: black
Natural Hair Color: black
Who do you love/like: javier
--Favorite--
Number: 7
Color: electric aqua
Place: miami beach
State: new york
Book: the giver
Game: u say.. i do...
Drug: coke
Movie: jawbreaker, the matrix, boys dont cry, titanic
Store: burdines, hot topics
Person: me myself and javi
Magazine: gay, cock4life, yum
CD: kazaa
BoyBand Singer: tom
Internet activity: journals and ims
---Do You---
Cut urself: sumtimes
Take meds you shouldnt: nope
Lick urself: no...
Whine a lot: yes!
Yell a lot: yea most of the time
Hate a lot of people: oh yea
Have too many friends: u can never have too many
Want to die: nope... at times yes
Believe in life after death: yes
Go to church: nope...
Love school: u muct be crazy
Have a bf/gf: lonely
Do drugs: sum
Wear dark colors: yea
Try to be different: nope i luv myself
Have any piercings: use to....
Break bones a lot: nope
Watch porn: yes! gay porn mostly... but if not any then i watch only guys dick...
Dye your hair: once and a while
---Have you ever----
Kissed someone: yes
Had sex: no
Frenched someone: yes
Given oral sex: yea
Killed someone: not yet
Shopped for condoms: yes
Smoked: yes
Gotten Drunk: yes
Worn rainbow: nope
Talked on the phone for over 3 hours: yes
Had a party with over 30 people: yes
Taken nude pictures: no..not of myself
Taped yourself having sex: no
Stolen something: yes
Broken a bone: nope
Ran away from home: nope
Burned yourself: yeah
Caught something on fire: yes
Asked someone out: yeah
Been dumped: yea
Dumped someone: yea
Had a dream then the next day it happens: yes
Called a porn hotline: yes
Pick One
Cat/Dog: dog
White/Black: black
Hot/Cold: cold
Far/Near: near
Water/Land: water
Kiss/Sex: both
Online/Phone: phone
Beer/Book: beer
Novel/Poetry: novel
Music/Silence: music
-perfect mate-
Short/Long Hair: short
Tall/Short: tall
Preppy/Dorky/Druggie: druggie/preppy
Freckles/No Freckles: no freckles or very lil
Hair Color: bonde black brown
Hat/No: either
Fat/Thin: either
Makeup/No Makeup: either
Dressy/Casual: either
Holding hands/holding COCKS: both
last person....
You Touched: javi
You Talked to: mom
You Hugged: katie
You Instant messaged: bianca
You Yelled At: aliangela
Are you..
Understanding: yes
Open-minded: yeah
Arrogant: sumtimes
Insecure: yes
Interesting: depends wat u think
Hungry: nope
Smart: whe i try
Moody: no
Childish: at times
Hard working: allways
Organized: yea
Healthy: no, im kind fat!
Emotionally Stable: no..!
Shy: yes at times... ppl im with
Difficult: yea sumtimes
Attractive: i dont judege
Bored Easily: yes!
Messy: nope
Thirsty: yes
Responsible: yes
Obsessed: on javi
Angry: sumtimes
Sad: vey often
Happy: most of the time
Trusting: yeah
Ill: no
Talkative: always talk bla bla bla...
Legal: next question....
Original: at points
Ignored: no
Reliable: yes
Deep thinker: yes
Self-disciplined: yes
Sleepy: no
Lonely: yes
~WHO DO YOU WANT TO~
Kill: no1
Slap: lots... ones that judge to much
Get Really Wasted With: javi...javi...and did i mension javi
Tickle: any1
Look Like: me but javi's eyes
Be Like: me
well im kinda bored and i still gotta do sum work so im a lil tired of skool... but i still luv javi..
so imahave sum fun... i dont kno wat ima do but sumthing interesting
|
|
| die bitch die... |
[29 May 2003|10:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
maddona- like a prayer |
] |
dear diary
i sound so gay saying that lol... opps yea i forgot i am gay and well i dont kno y im forgetiing my own sexuality is it maybe bcuz im not always telling ppl the truth about me and im startig to forget myself who i am... i kno im sad and sick... maybe ill do better in an other world.. so y not die now and just let all my pain go... its not easy being a 13/m gay guy and in a skool that ppl r so judgemental and that most ppl hate gays... well today in science my teacher made me feel terrible bcuz her bitchy ass says most of us human are str8 and shes always talking bout warnings for str8 ppl and not for gays and i really think she should teach sum bcuz not every1 who is gay has the ability to rais their hand in front of so many evil children and ask a question of that sort... i luv this kid named javi... i think im stalking him bcuz i always c him and i just ::blush:: all the fucking time when i c him... i wanna just get rid of my sexual urges... i dont kno wat i want anymore... i feel so confused and left out of the world i wanna go to a place where i can meet alot of gay guys my age and we can talk and there is this one gay kid in my skool but we dont like ever talk we only im eachother well actually i im him bcuz i think he doesnt even wanna talk to my ass.... sumtimes i dont kno who i am and i wanna just die or atleast do sum drugs and get my pain away atleast for a lil bit... but w.e... omg i cant keep this kid out of my head i wanna just forget bout javi but i cant... im always having dreams bout him i think bout him all the fucking time... but hey there is good news i think im starting to get attracted to craig but im not sure i dont actualy kno wat im feeling for craig but i kno it isnt as strong as wat i feel for javi not even close i think i just like craig a lil bcuz his gay and i think my mind is making me interested in that... but hey wat r u goona do... ill live on... a misunderstood life but ill live on... well today sumthing pissed me off a lil bcuz this dumbass kid named eddie pushed me in the fuking floor(thank lord no1 saw) and when i landed on the floor i fell on mi cell and broke the fucking screen on mi cell... so that also got me pissed... o and to top everything off im still not done with my two projects... i cant concentrate bcuz i have javi in my mind all the time... i kno im pathetic but w.e its my life... i need a cigg.
ima go now bye, who ever is reading this plz comment on it.
luv, david
|
|