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crazy awesome songs [12 Dec 2003|09:11am]
[ mood | curious ]

*i just bet- the mysteries of life
glitter mini 9- cuckoo
Limp- Fall away
from zero- the other side
*crushed stars- Liza in silver
switchfoot- you already take me there.
*bouncing souls-gone
idlewild- little discourage
schatzi- indivisble by three
enough of that... yesterday was bad. today will be bad. everyday and all day will be bad. i wish someone would just slam my face into an oncoming eighteen wheeler going 138mph. it would be hella sexxy.

Comments: break your radio.

pinkandblackconsume.me [11 Dec 2003|09:58am]
[ mood | head/hurty ]

oh man i work fast! or so my nova net teacher tells me. i wanna see if maybe i can get that credit by exam thing pretty soon... ill ask my grandparents about it this weekend. i really wanna get 3rd&4th off campus! i can tell them im going to work for my dad. *ergh* doot doot.

i think rogers a really funny guy! hahaha. just thinking about him right now makes me wanna laugh. im not saying that the guy is fucking joke im just saying hes really funny.
Oh, roger also told me that andy broke up with that frail mexican girl. oh man! i wonder why. roger also said that andy has been getting pretty close to vanessa. pretty freaky huh? yeah i wouldnt doubt if vanessa is behind all of this. shes one sneaky person ya know!? g'damn! hahah
ima jet.

Comments: break your radio.

tina tina tina [10 Dec 2003|09:40am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

yeah blancas really dumb for posting that comment in my diaryland journal. what a dumb ass.. ergh total annoyance. i wish i could send her all to point of event horizon and have her explode into tiny little atoms.

stupid people annoy me.

Comments: break your radio.

i just realized how many concerts i missed. [20 Nov 2003|07:55am]
[ mood | dry ]
[ music | pedro the lion ]

man my stomach really hurts. like allot! oh well. i dont know whats gonna happen next.

roger said he would take me to go see reggie and the full effect in austin with alkaline trio. do you think hes lying? i really hope not. [sad-ness] blah! i really wanna go to the vagrant tour. i mean i understand if we cant go but me being as cancerish as i am im gonna dwell on it as much as i can. yeah, and thats never cool. reggie, im coming baby...

at least i got to see/meet poison the well, see AFI, meet davey havok, see the used, see rancid, see dropkick murphy, and the ataris. oh man... reggie alkaline and fata would be so hott. i missed the queens of the stone age concert and the thursday thrice, oh yeah and the deftones concert too! and the tool concert, and the apc concert. i feel... shitty.
Comments: break your radio.

peasoupvommitgreencarpet&blackchewinggumunderyourshoes. [13 Nov 2003|04:32pm]
[ mood | brain noise ]
[ music | thiervery corp. ]

i feel all shitty and acomplished inside. i dropped my offive hours in the library to put in hours at the nova net modules. i've only completed three lessons and they take forever! MY counsler wanted me to read her cards so on the back of my new schedule i got her home number cell phone and address.... not a good idea. oh well. i was pretty upset cause the librarians threw a party for ray, another office worker, and not for me. they bought him a cake and pizza. what do i get? a patch that says, friend of the library how fucking rad. [sarcasm]

anyway, i needed a break from all the dust, moths, and library run-ins with alex. oh well. let's see what gonna happen next...

on another note, i got almost three hours of online work, i need thirty some to complete geometry. then i move onto algebra II and then i'll see if i can do speech and goverment. maybe i'll take speech as a class but i just wanna have one class next semester ya know? go in for english IV and then at ten fifteen i go to work/home. i dont know, hopefully if i come up with thoose hundred dollas i get to take speech and goverment online for a credit. they say its easy... [coming from a blonde]

i miss boys.

Comments: break your radio.

original love. [11 Nov 2003|10:57pm]
[ mood | curious ]
[ music | alkaline trio-radio ]

i dont know why i like alex when i dont even know him.
what is it about him that makes me go all gaga-ish?
well, maybe its his smile and navy blue sweater.
or even the way that he smiles and means it.
he doesn't seem to be fake and immature.
he seems as if he is very adult-ish-nes.
all these things i have to think about.
i really dont know shit about him.
so all i have is to asume..
and always think he's

Comments: break your radio.

ihearthim [10 Nov 2003|05:37pm]
[ mood | pensive ]
[ music | thecranberries-carnival ]

if i had a picture, i'd show you where all my love goes.

Comments: 2 broken radios break your radio.

im fucking in love with someone i dont know and i dont care [07 Nov 2003|10:42pm]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | radiohead-high&dry ]

i feel all shitty im afraid im not alexs' type.. at all fuck im like all head over feet for some guy i hardly know.

i fell inlove so quickly and so fucking easliy. im really fucking dissapointed in myslef but i think im gonna see him tomorrow so im REALLY fucking happy.
go visit my other diary

Comments: break your radio.

interview with my cousin [29 Oct 2003|09:36pm]
[ mood | crappy ]
[ music | 99luftballons ]

01. How long has it been? I have known you since the day you were born. The first time I saw you I was really young myself but I was so excited I had a new cousin. I paid more attention to you than my own sister!
02. How long must you wait to see what i really am? I know you can be the person that you were meant to be. I see all the potential you have but the people that give you constant sorrow force you to be someone you are not.
03. Where do you think i'd rather be? I think you would rather be somewhere that the people you know cannot hurt you anymore. You would rather be somewhere where you can experience life.
04. If given the chance would you open the doors for me? I would definitely open the doors for you so you can see what lies ahead of you and all you can accomplish. At the same time I would want to shield you from anymore pain and suffering you’ve had in your life.
05. How do you think i feel about my life?I believe you feel that your life could be so much more. I feel that you want to experience something outside of the life you have had there in Laredo. I believe that you have not had the chance to experience life because of the constant battle going on between yourself and those around you.
06.) How long has it been since you've seen me, what did we do? It has been too long! The time you came to Austin, we ate at Olive Garden and went downtown to check out some shops.
07.) What did you picture me doing at seventeen? I pictured you getting ready for college and asking me for help!
08.) What was one of the first things you thought me to do? I thought you would have a job in either writing for a famous paper like the New York Times or something in computer graphics.
09.) What is the difference between me now, and me at age eleven? The difference I see is that you have become your own independent person. You have your own style and your own likes. You speak up for yourself a lot more now than at age 11.
10.) How far do you think i will get in life? Out of all the family I strongly believe that you can make it the farthest in life. I fell you lack the support from others to help you get to that point.
11.) When you think of me, what else do you think of? When I think of you, I think of a girl who has so much potential but throughout your life you’ve been dealt a bad hand. I think of you as someone who has been misunderstood. I also think of you laughing and being silly like me.
12.) What is your favorite memory of me? I have many memories of you but the one that stands out the most is when you were little and the only way to make you laugh was for me to jump up and down. Since that moment I knew you and I would always have a special bond.
13.) How would you describe me to someone who has never met me? I would describe you as someone who cares about others and tries to be there for your friends no matter what. I would also describe you as someone who has a lot of creativity and imagination.
14.) Who do you think made the biggest impact on who i am today? explain. Tough question. I think your family has had the biggest impact on who you are today. I know you feel that they do not understand you and all that you may be feeling.
15.) do you think i have made a lasting impression in this world? I believe you have made a lasting impression on the world because you have made a lasting impression on me. If you have an effect on just one person, than you have that affect on the world.
16.) Am i judgmental? am i easily driven by people's physical appearance/style to get to meet them? Everyone is judgmental. I do not believe you are driven by people’s physical appearance/style. I strongly believe you give people the benefit of the doubt.
17.) What song makes you feel like the whole world surrenders to my 18.) amazingness? Well the main song that reminds me of just you is by Red Hot Chili Peppers “Under the Bridge.” It reminds me of when we were little and how much fun we had under the Bridge in Corpus Christi. “How to Disappear Completely” by Radiohead reminds me of you as well. It reminds me how sometimes things get so bad that you just wish you could disappear. A song that reminds me of your great strength is by Christina Aguilera “Beautiful.” I know that sounds cheesy but it reminds me of how you beautiful you are inside and out and that you should not let anyone tell you otherwise.
19.) how do you think I influence strangers? I think you influence strangers just being a part of their world. We all have an impact on each other whether we know them or are strangers. Strangers might admire your appearance or style.
20.) if I could turn back time, would i be different? I believe that if you could turn back time you would be different. But I would hope a big part of you would remain the same, because that is what makes you so special. Everyone wishes they could be different in some way.
21.) if I were on an island, what is the one thing I would bring with me? I really believe that if you were on an island that you would bring a pencil and paper so that you could write down everything you were feeling. You probably would write to others letting them know how you felt about that, good or bad.
21.) if you had the power to set me for life would you? If I had the power to set you for life I would. But then again I would want you to experience everything that life has to offer because that is how you grow and change.
22.) what is the one thing I’m afraid of? I think you are afraid of change. As much as you long for that I think you are scared to take the first step.
23.) have i ever hurt you so bad that you decided to hurt me in return? You have not hurt me at all. You have been my inspiration more than you know.
24.) have i changed? explain. I’ve watched you grow up from the moment you were born. Yes, I do believe that you have changed. I see how you like to be your own person and not live up to the expectations that others have placed upon you.
25.)if you could change one thing about me what would it be? I would want you to have more confidence in yourself.
26.) how do you think it has effected the rest of the family? I think it should be the other way around. The family is the # 1 reason why you lack confidence in yourself. They have not supported you the way a family should. They have not had the chance to get to know the real you and what you are all about.
27.) what is the one thing that bothers me? I think the one thing that bothers you is when people deceit you.
28.) if i had the powers to stop all the hurt in the world do you think i would use it? I believe that you probably would stop the hurt in the world. I also believe you would leave the hurt to those who deserve it.
29.)do you think im vain? No I do not believe you are vain at all. I think you are quite the opposite.
30.)do you think im an inovert/extrovert? You are an introvert. You hold your feelings inside because you are afraid to get hurt.
31.) have i ever been admited to the hospital? when? what for? I believe you have. I believe you were sent to the hospital for your bronchitis.
32.) i had a friend who hurt me greatly by back stabbing me, who was it? I did not know you had a friend who back stabbed you. We all have one of those.
33.) what would i enjoy majoring in? I strongly believe you would enjoy majoring in journalism. You love to write!
34.) what is the one thing you would like me to change? I don’t think that there is one thing I would want for you to change. If someone doesn’t like you for who you are than it is their problem not yours.
35.) what do you think is the reason for my shy-ness? You are shy because you have been through so much in your life. Your family has constantly hurt you in many ways, you tend to keep what you are feeling inside. You are afraid to let people in.
36.) how did music shape my life? (instruments, bands, composing, singing etc.) Music touches the lives of many people. I believe music has touched your life because you are able to relate to the bands and their music. Because someone out there feels the exact same way you do.
37.) And lastly, do you think I’m going make a difference in the world? If you can touch the life of one person, than you have made a difference in the world. You have touched my life in many ways. You have helped me reach for my goals in life because I see you looking at me.

Comments: break your radio.

[27 Oct 2003|04:36pm]
[ mood | the same numb ]
[ music | deftones new album on repeat. ]

i have stuff to do. my last year here and im cramping up with due dates.

i picked up my bass today and started learning some no doubt riffs. no doubt is always fun to mess with when starting a band. i really wanna start a lame ass band just for the hell of it. then again i dont know any good players. i know christine will join my band but i dont know if she plays good. we can cover all sorts of things but i just wanna hit the basic OMG I LOVE THAT SONG root.

my band name: PUNCH YOUR TITS OFF.

Comments: break your radio.

secrets stab like girls [27 Oct 2003|08:09am]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | blonderedhead-forthedamaged ]

im here at home knowing that i should go to school but i have an office block and i dont feel like going. i'll be going in during 2nd but for now, i'll stay here. i havent updated by diary.landjournal in a while. im just so afraid that people are gonna read what i dont want them to.

audrey called me last night and asked if i was mad at her. i couldnt get around to saying yes so i said 'nuahhhe'. i dont know wha the fuck that means but i guess it was a no on her end. so we spoke for a while. i asked her where she ended up staying. some joe guy.. apparently he was with us on saturday night? i have no fucking clue. well she slept at his house. (i wonder if they had fucked?) well she kept on asking me if she should get on the birth control patch 'cause she has a disease where she cant fucking close her legs! i dont know what to say about that anymore.

i do know that i need 20 bucks to put a down-payment on that digital camera i saw at the pawn shop. i really fell in love with it. i know ill be 10x[zoom] a girl if i had that camera.

i talked to andy yesterday online. we spoke for just about 3 minuets and then he got offline. i think thats his signature exit... i dont know. bye is too lame its the new rage to just GET offline.

i gotta leaf, my heads itchy and i have to make breakfast, shower, and be tina.

this diary is all but vanity.

Comments: break your radio.

weenusifiedgoo. [26 Oct 2003|07:19pm]
[ mood | think-ish2 ]
[ music | the cure ]

turn it back an hour right now. cant turn back to the time i was SO FUCKING HAPPY WITH ANDY. this weather reminds me about andy. the cold-ness, the sweater, the constricting arms. damnit, it's gonna be three years since we went out. and three years since we broke up. i know it wasnt more than a year that we went out but it was more than a year that we were talking... maybe even more than three. i don't know why it took him so long to ask me out. sad-ness. THIS WEATHERSUCKS!

i need a promise ring.

Comments: break your radio.

angry gurl face [26 Oct 2003|06:45pm]
[ mood | think-ish ]
[ music | billie holiday-my funny valentine ]

what am i looking for in a life partner

cannot be a smoker
cannot touch me unless i say he can
cannot drink
cannot think about leaving me behind
cannot touch other gurls
cannot call me everyday
cannot wear skirts and say its a punk movement
cannot be confused all the time
cannot be a pansy
cannot ruin things for me
cannot be right all the time
cannot diss me in anyway
cannot keep "tabs" on me
cannot open doors for me

must ignore me
must say he loves me atleast once a week
must be able to stand his ground
must hold me when i say, "get the fuck off me"
must punch hard
must have a level head
must respect my views
must respect me
must drive when i dont feel like it
must take me places when i dont wanna go
must come with me to buy clothes
must be excited to see me
must love me forever

Comments: break your radio.

yummy yummy [26 Oct 2003|05:00pm]
[ mood | inanne ]
[ music | bleeding the mars volta ]

maybe i was too angry earlier. i dont know. im gonna go see if i can shoot up some more chocolate milk while i blast up the "tunes".

Comments: break your radio.

we're hurting...cristina loves dead babies, can i get a dead baby drink? [26 Oct 2003|04:15pm]
[ mood | irritated ]
[ music | rockin' to at the drive in. ]

this weekend was a total weird one.

Friday i went out with roger and libby. Drove around cause we didnt wanna stay home. Then me & roger started fighting on my bed and things went weird.He placed his arms around me as i laid down & i wanted to dissapear. why did he have to go on & do that. i don't like that. god damn im kinda angry that he did that. if you know me you know that i dont like it when boys touch me. so why did he? i dont know. i was kinda sad cause one of my most precious possesions broke! my red head band broke. libby ran it over with my rolling chair. all i heard was a *thump&Crack* an' bam, it was broked.

Saturday was something out of the ordinary. i got in the shower late that night and decided that if i was gonna get dressed it was gonna be to go out and not waste good make up at home. so libby called & i invited her to go see scary m.ovie three with me. then audrey called on the other line and she practically invited herself. but just cause she had a car we decided to go. on the way to the movie theater libby decides she need to borrow my ten dollars cause she wants to buy some weed. then audrey says she knows some guy who will hook up some good shwag. turns out that its eddie, the guy shes head over feet for. so we head over to his house and i get introduced to them all. i use his restroom and i found out how he keeps his spikes so high. elmers non drip blue gel glue. yep. the restroom was so raunchy i peed 4 inches above the rim. we went ontop of his roof where they was a half finished roof/deck thing. we stood up there till we saw some gurls arive. me & some other kids started spitting at some weird gurls who walked by. they got mad and tried to throw us a basketball. they tried throwing but it just kept falling back down and hitting thier heads. they decided to stop and have a shot of vodk.a with all the other dirty smelly punks. we decided to to all meet up and go to a party. we met some drunk bi chick who couldnt get her head out of my thighs. she kept falling into my legs and asking to join our band. we were a band for a night. everyone asked us to sign autographs. [to ___ love tina the bassist from "punch your tits off"] of course audrey was the singer, libby a.k.a becky was the keyboardist, & i was the bassist. it was hott. then we went to some bar/pool hall called sticks&bal.ls. i fell in love there. i met one of audreys frineds there. his name was mark and he was a hardcore kid, hoodie, dc shoes, glasses, braces... em.ocore. he was so hott. i told audrey that i think i was starting this crush thing with her friend mark then she "suddenly realizes" she likes him too. So now shes all over him and hanging, swinging and climbing his nut sac. im left in the corner of the pool hall and now i have bottle glass vision. everything askewed. we walk outside and its hella cold. thank god i had my sweater. i notive audrey has a spitfi.re sweater on just like marks. i look over at mark and noticed his elbows peeking out of his pockets. mark lent her his hooide. jealous. libby asks mark for his keys so she can roll a joint in his jeep. so i go with libby not wanting to stay with audrey. i get in the car and off i go bitching about how things like this always happen with me. i call audrey and shes reluctant to move. she makes her way over and i bitch her out about me confessing that i kinda crush on mark and shes all over him. "it's not my fault... i never noticed i liked him." then roger calls and i told him ill call him back. i keep on yelling at audrey about how she needs to learn how to like one guy. not like me where i can like one guy every 5 seconds... but its still one guy. mark gets in the car me and libby go for a chack walk, where i walk with her and watch her smoke, and then we take off. audrey wants to drink and i want to go home. i ask mark if he can take me home and audrey says no. who the fuck asked her? i asked mark... but some how her name is mark. "no tina you cant go home im sleeping over and you cant go home yet.." i cant belive she fucking said that. i lash out at her and simply tell her that she cant stayover cause i changed my mind and then mark dropped me off. me and libby munched out food core. we ate everything we could fit in our mouths. her cause she had the munchies and me, well, cause i was sad. we both fell asleep watching the doors movie.

sunday[today] im here alive and not gone. i was watching all these halloween movies. but then i got bored so now here i am.


Comments: break your radio.

i dont know. [02 Sep 2003|07:01am]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | saving my life again- i forgot who ]

yeah dudes. hahaha. i think im falling again for that guy... cause of the stupid tight-ness of friday night-ness. grrrr. stupid boys i swear. no ones prolly gonna read this so why am i so scared to say his name? got damn.
i've been totaly ignored by andy! i im. him and he doesnt even im me back or sometimes he will and he'll put (brb) and fucking get offline. then i called his house and i got totaly dissed by his little sister. you cant fucking tell me im paranoid and thinking this & going crazy! i know hes ignoring me.... i just wanna know why.

Comments: break your radio.

is this true like to the maxxx or what? [31 Jul 2003|07:54am]
[ mood | pensive ]

creative: you are an individual at school and thats
why your friends all think you're amazing. you
offer a shoulder to cry on when people need on,
you give good advice and overall a very good
friend. you enjoy being in the company of
others, particularly those closest to you and
sometimes depend on your friends too much. but
apart from being dependent, you can mostly make
it on your own and excel over others. you are
fun, good natured and a great person to be

what kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Comments: break your radio.

yeah well yeah. [31 Jul 2003|02:26am]
[ mood | hopeful ]

maybe me and andy are ment to be after all.

Comments: break your radio.

grrr. [30 Jul 2003|12:02pm]
[ mood | angry ]

theres a pimple right about my eye lid. kind of right on the corner of my nose and begining of the eyebrow! did this pimple not know that i have senior pictures in two fucking days? i think not. grr... what am i going to do? man, im angry.

my cousin's been helping me allot on college plans. she was telling me that sometime in february there was gonna be something about bringing in future freshman with you to school. so all day i get to follow her into her classrooms and union center. woah. it's gonna be so scary! ahck! what's gonna be cool is my cousin is like a christine on speed. shes an over achiever though. so i know ill be safe under her guidance. i am now the new grasshopa...

Comments: 3 broken radios break your radio.

out of sight out of mind maybe? [29 Jul 2003|10:42pm]
[ mood | blah ]

im thinking maybe that, (i never stop thinking) since andy hasnt seen me in a while im not number one on his list of people to think about? everytime i see him acts diffrent. diffrent as to on the phone you know.. maybe. i dont know. ahck, what do you think. do you think i need to hang out with him? maybe we can hang out on friday. we can swim in a can of beans to bagdhad.

come on y'all...i hope my dad adds money tto the card cause if not i blew my last chance on cool clothes from outta town. muther blanker. well im gonna go watch family guy. be back later.

Comments: break your radio.

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