| shark in the pool? |
[07 May 2008|06:08am] |
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Being this close to my goal presents a problem:
wanting a cushion.
126 doesn't seem like enough anymore. I want a few pounds of a cushion just in case, That is how a disordered mind thinks. I've been losing for 3 months now. How do I stop? Isn't a "cushion" an excuse not to stop? Weight loss is control. I haven't even mourned two devestating losses in my life yet. I've become a mother. So much change. Weight loss has always been my drug of choice. As I approach my goal these are actually dangerous waters. I'm scared. Numbers going down is relieving. It always has been. I need to really focus on healthy eating & having energy. Feeling good needs to be more important than numbers. The focus has to come off numbers right now. HEALTHY....that needs to be the mantra.
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