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the mind of marnie

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Beating my head against walls [02 Jan 2008|02:00pm]
I have no patience. I want this weight gone yesterday. I am so NOT gentle with myself. I'm sure I actually look pretty good for someone who gave birth to twins a month ago. But it isn't good enough for me. I want to restrict, but I am sleep deprived & reaching for what is easy" croackers, chips, junk. I should be eating really healthy but that requires effort. Breastfeeding burns calories, but Christmas cookies & chip dip replenish those calories faster than I can pump em out. I have been stuck right between 145-147 since I got home from the hospital. I need to be eating fish & veggies & all I am craving is carbs & junk. 5 pounds used to seem hard. 20 is just daunting. I've never had this much to lose & to try & do it the healthy wasy seems impossible. I'm hanging on by a thin & healthy thread.
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