| can I get an AMEN? |
[24 Aug 2007|10:02am] |
Where are all my Type A control freaks at????
I used my ED to decrease anxiety. When I wanted to get well I used exercise to decrease anxiety. Perhaps an occasional glass of vino, shopping, a hot bath. None of this will fly while pregnant. Exercise amounts to a mile a day walking the dog, no vino, tepid baths are not the same thing & obviously I've got to eat ---- for 3. I feel so far out of control. I feel like I've crawled out of my skin. I quit my job to reduce stress. Not having a job is stressing me out. I know I'll go back to work when they are older. It just feels strange. I'm probably too stupid to enjoy it & someday when I'm sitting back at a desk, I'll say, "why didn't I enjoy the time I took off?" Why can't I relax??? Is it cultural? My french in-laws are not like this. Life moves differently for them (& nannies are government subsidized) Being a worrier is SUCH a waste of time. I have had myself dying during my c-section & a whole host of other maudlin images in my over active imagination. I need to get back to writing fiction & find an outlet for all this drama
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| in other news |
[24 Aug 2007|10:44am] |
Anywhoo-
Planning the nursery & the shower is super fun & I am just going to focus on the super fun for now. I have a party tonight. That's fun. The love returns from London in a few hours. That is the most fun. I'm so sleepy. Building people is hard work.
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