A day in the life of me   
09:17am 30/01/2003
mood: ecstatic
music: Alive - POD
To all my pals,
I'm sorry that I've not written in quite some time. I've been in the middle of a very busy move to Columbus and it's taken much of my time and energy. However, as the end of the move is drawing near, my time is returning to me. I will start writting again.
Nothing much has happened. I managed to fix my car, which they quoted the repairs at $2,600. I wasn't about to pay that. The car isn't even worth that much.
I went to find the parts on my own and found a mechanic who could install them for me and knocked that price down to $700. Ford tried to rip me 2 Grand! I was soooo pissed. Now the car is working fine and I couldn't be happier with the price I got on the repairs. I mean, one part that Ford claimed would cost $1,000 I found for $199. It was ridiculous.
Well, I must be going. I'm off to get ready to meet up with my brother. We're going out for lunch. I'll write more later.
Dark Angel

If you are a new reader and you're interested in being a blurty pal, drop me a comment and I'll add you
Public Anouncement   
03:21pm 08/01/2003
mood: accomplished
music: Everything Luda
I have now combined my aliases and will be posting on this journal alone. After I have moved all my friends to this journal, I will be deleting my old ones.
I've finally made it out of Mansfield.
Life in Columbus has been great so far. The work prospect looks good. My brother and his wife have been very welcoming. I'm far away from all the old drama and life looks hopeful for the first time in a long time. I've got two dogs now, Buddy and Frodo. I live in a hugantic house and there's a department just down the road where I can do my EMT stuff.
Plus, I'm legal, so that means all the beer and boobs that I can handle.
Best of all, I'm finally going to make a life for my son. In my old dead end town, I had nothing to work with, but here, it feels like the entire world is at my fingertips.
My advice to you people slummin it in the small time...
Get up, get out, get going. There's a big world out here, and it rules.
And wherever I go...there's always DDR!
Dark Angel.
My 21st   
09:53pm 05/01/2003
mood: cheerful
music: 99 Bottles of beer on the wall...
So today is the annual celebration of the day of my birth.
It just so happens that its my 21st and we all know what that means.
My parents took me out for dinner. My father was proud to purchase my first legal alcoholic beverage, which was a glass of merlot. I really didn't mind it much, although it was pretty dry. I did say that I didn't want to drink anything that reminded me of koolaid, so I got what I asked for. (None of that sweet stuff, like the Lambrusco)
Yeah, its great. I can go anywhere and say, "Yeah, give me a beer." and its all good.
Isn't life grand?
Dark Angel
08:15pm 20/12/2002
mood: angry
music: Nails on a chalkboard
..and I use that term loosly as many people who I believed to be friends in my lifetime turned out to be nothing more than back stabbing retards. If you're on my friends list, that comment is not directed towards you.
If you'd like to be a friend, drop me some info and I'll add you.
Otherwise...PISS OFF!
Dark Angel
Code Name : Random Task   
01:29pm 20/12/2002
mood: cold
music: Death Bloom - MudVayne
Last night was outstanding.

I was at the mall, preparing for my usual rounds of DDR (Dance Dance Revolution for my non-DDR friends) and I was like...
"You know what? Fuck it. I come out to this damn game all the time and I only ever do one heavy song for every two standard songs. Lets get nuts and do all heavy dances!"
For those who know anything about DDR, heavy songs are the most difficult songs and require a lot of speed, eye-foot coordination, and stamina.
I did 12 songs in a row. All heavy. And passed 10 of them. Technically, you could say I passed 11 of them, because I cleared Paranoia 180, but I ended up with an E rating. The only one I failed was Drop Out and thats because I was too damn tired after doing 11 other dances that the body was like, "Fuck you, you crazy bastard!"

Matt joined me part way into the game. I think he was impressed. The last time I played with him, I could barely keep up. Now I'm starting to kick some ass.

Oh well,
I might be on my way to the mall again today, so I'll be going now.
I'll write more later.
The Black Knight.
Rusty tools build infectuous homes   
08:41pm 18/12/2002
mood: good
music: Not falling - MudVayne
I am nothing.

There is an overwhelming emptiness inside me that I cannot fill. Like a scar that burns when the damager is near, I fall to the pain when I see other's happiness.
I envy them.
I despise them.
Hand in hand, they walk the eisles of the local shopping mart, making love to eachother with their eyes while skipping through the frozen meat section.
Curse them for their love, a love that I cannot have
...I have grown too much in my hate to love again...

Then I see the last lady I gave myself to
She is happily hand in hand with another.
The very thought of me tossed away like the trash I must be.
When she kisses him...is he better than me?

Then there was the one I promised my life to
She has yet to sever completely our wedded vows and still...
She beds another.
This was as it was during our time together...
Me with the job.
Me with my son.
Her with another...

How do they move on?
How do they forget everything?
In both cases, when I did nothing but love them...
When I stayed with her after she fucked him...
When I cryed for her after she left...
When I turned my head after she asked for his ring...
When I left after she lie down next to another...
Was I wrong?

This is how it will be forever...
I will do the right thing and she will do the wrong thing.
I will be left with the broken heart and she will discard me as though I was nothing.

I am nothing.
01:50pm 16/12/2002
mood: accomplished
music: Jus a little LUDA
I've got this super nifty update device which no longer requires me to go to the webpage to add entries. This is wonderful.
Well, this entry is just a test to make sure everything is working.
Dark Angel
08:01pm 15/12/2002
mood: depressed
music: The swinging of a rope tied to a tree
This is what it means to be alone.

One morning, you get up and realize there's no one there to talk to.
You lay solitary in a bed made up for two
Sleepily you wave your hand beside you, hoping you'll touch someone else
And your hand passes through thin air.

You get up out of bed and slide your feet into your slippers
Slippers that used to rest beside another pair, but now stand alone
You get into a cold shower that used to be warm enough for the both of you.
And fall to your knees under the pelting stream of the showerhead, masking your tears in the waterfall.

You dry off with your towel, proudly bearing one word..."HIS"
And an empty space claims the spot which once bore "HERS"
And in its emptiness is revealed a cracked and peeling wall
Cracked and peeling, just like your soul

You throw on yesterday's outfit because no one is there to notice
It reeks of yesterday's perfume from a crappy attempt at attracting somebody.
It reeks of yesterday's promise for the end of your solitude
It reeks of failure.

You'd eat breakfast if you could stomach it.
You eat because it fills the void
You retch because it tastes like ashes
You cry because its not the same.

And then your clock chimes, and you stumble towards the door.
You hesitate because you used to.
There used to be something you did before you left for work.
You used to kiss her goodbye at the door.

Stepping into the car, there's no concern for cleaning the frost off the windows
There's no concern for putting your seatbelt on
After all, if something were to happen on the way to work...
Its not like you'd be missed.

But then you arrive safely to your destination.
You cry because today was not the lucky day.
It would have been easier if it would have ended.
Now you have to face the dread of living.

You clock in and slip behind your desk.
The only time you're noticed is if your work isn't done.
You're noticed if the boss needs a favor.
You're never noticed.

Then clock out comes too slowly, but it comes.
Yet, why rush to leave.
The only place to go is back to an empty home
Back into an empty life.

The last half of the day at home is quiet.
The ambient noise of a TV program you're not watching crackles in the background.
All you can see on that screen is a blur.
All you can see is nothing.

Then comes the most rewarding part of the day.
The only time that things maybe aren't so bad.
Bedtime, for you see, when you lay down at night.
You lose conciousness.

Then you wake up and realize you've got no one there to talk to.
You lay solitary in a bed made for two.
Sleeply you wave your hand beside you, hoping you'll touch somebody else.
And your hand passes through thin air.

Sleep, perchance to dream, dearest companions
Dark Angel
I've yet to see an angel...   
10:45pm 13/12/2002
mood: amused
music: Meedly meedly meedly meedly MEEEEEE!!
I went to see my psychologist two days ago...
Other than the fact that I'm still depressed as fuck and probably will be forever, he says he's seeing an overall improvement in my attitude. Ofcourse, I think he's saying that just to make me feel like this is all worth the money. I guess the simple fact that I've managed to keep myself alive could be attributed to my sessions with him.
So, he asked me how I'm doing in the relationship department....
Yeah, he and I got into a convo about how much I despise chicks because they were created by God as a means of luring Adam to the apple, and thats about it....
Yeah, women are spawned from sin and don't know how to keep their legs together. Each and every one of you couldn't be faithful for more than a week or two. I could trust you slimy dirt merchants about as far as I could throw you.
Whew...I feel much better now. So...what was I saying....oh yeah.
My therapist wanted to know how I was doing in the relationship department.
I laughed at his question. I could tell by the puzzled look on his face that he wasn't expecting my laughter for an answer. I think he was being dead serious, but at the same time, in asking me that, I was certain he hasn't been listening to one God damned word I've been saying.
But seriously, he convinced me not to write women off all together. He said I just happened to pick out the rotten apples from the bunch. He's promised that there's a golden apple in there somewhere. I just have to keep weeding out the bad ones til I find her.
So here I am, on the search for the golden tasty (sounds like a bad name for a mcdonalds food item)
wait a minute...
golden tasty
minus the g...
old n tasty?
old n nasty is more like it....
Um...where am I?

Right, so he asked where I thought about meeting women, and I'm like, "Dude, I dunno."
Work = no potental. School = not in school, or maybe I would. Activities = don't really have any, so....
yeah, so I'm tapped on places to meet people
He suggested church? I ended up laughing at that too. Yeah, that's what I need. Some church chick who's all like, "Listen, I don't kiss until we've dated for at least a year, and...no sex until...well....never!"
My words are mine and I will own them.   
02:45pm 11/12/2002
mood: contemplative
music: the crunching of bone
How long is one expected to remain in silence when a burning flame has been lit beneath them?
I was tied to the stake by the mistakes of another and stood accused of witchery.
Then the executioner came with a bright smile and soft hair
To douse my bound body in fuel.

How long after a crash am I supposed to live?
I was driven into a fast car to escape a bad situation and accused of stepping too hard on the pedal.
Then came a slick patch of ice with a name.
To send me spinning uncontrollably.

What does this say about me?
Am I to be ashamed for the mistakes that I've made when I began with good intentions?
Wether witchcraft or car crash, in the end there was only one harmed.
That person is me.

I have to wake up every morning, put on my shoes and grab a bagel.
I have to gaze into the mirror and see the distortion behind it.
Yet, others feel moved to curse me for their anguish
When I did nothing more than be me.

"Deny yourself for my sake. Let me live on in my imaginary happiness."
Are these words to be followed, or advice to ignore.
Should I be the hero and lash out at the wicked.
Or let evil live on for someone's comfort.

Here again, I either move or stop.
Either way I'll upset somebody.
But do I say what burdens have been layed on my chest.
Or swallow them like spiked pills and ignore the bleeding.

This is what comes of silence.
When your bursting to scream out the depths of your soul
But you're told to remain closed, like a jar of hot steam
Rattling the cap in its captivity.

Bottled up. Closed up. Nothing more. I shall do as commanded. Though, I pray on the day of my judgement that, when the almighty looks to me and says, "You did nothing?" that he'll understand why and not punish me eternally. Yet, how fitting if he did. My life has always been inconvenienced because of my desire to set others before myself. For once, just once, I'd like to be selfish.
Eternally Perplexed
In Chris talk...   
04:42pm 10/12/2002
mood: distressed
music: The slosh of a blade jutting into someones back
StellargirlY: Chris I have a small bone to pick with you
DarkAngelJan582: a bone to pick with me?
DarkAngelJan582: why?
StellargirlY: Who do you think you are going around writing about people and then being totally two faced and trying to become friends with them and hang out.........exp.----->me last night, you asking me and matt to hang out with you
DarkAngelJan582: I wouldn't ask to hang out with the people I wrote about.
StellargirlY: then who was it aboiut?
StellargirlY: about*
DarkAngelJan582: What are we referring to?
StellargirlY: your latest lj entry
DarkAngelJan582: There were a lot of people mentioned in my LJ. Most of them are people I've known for a long time. I can't break down each line and say what was meant for who, because many of them were meant for more than one person. Some of them were even ment for me.
StellargirlY: ok
DarkAngelJan582: it was an overall reflection on the trials of humanity, and, no doubt, something else thats been misunderstood.
DarkAngelJan582: This is something I'm used to, as I often do write in coded form.
DarkAngelJan582: Believe me. If anything were directed at you, you would have known it.
DarkAngelJan582: If you think something was, I can tell you who it was really meant for
StellargirlY: i cracked most of your codes you just dont think i did because like always i choose to keep silenced about it
StellargirlY: who then?

DarkAngelJan582: Tell me which line you think was directed at you and I'll tell you who it was for.
StellargirlY: hold on
StellargirlY: Some of us are too blinded by love to see that the one you care for is meeting up with someone else.
DarkAngelJan582: Has matt been meeting up with someone else?
StellargirlY: not to my knowlege
DarkAngelJan582: Then, how could that be directed towards you. You'd know about that before I would.
StellargirlY: Some of us are losing our breath from pointing out everyone else's insignificance and are missing out on those who should be significant.

StellargirlY: Some of us are so lost in the eyes of another that we cannot see the better person out there waiting

Im not saying these are directed to me but im just curious as to whom they are directed to
StellargirlY: Some of us are so lost in our multifacidness that we've completely lost sight of ourselves
StellargirlY: Some of us are so immature, that we'll take the insights of another and make them out to be slander, when the insights are ment to guide the ignorant.
DarkAngelJan582: Comment number one was to an individual from my past. Someone whom I had loved and lost
DarkAngelJan582: comment number two was to myself
DarkAngelJan582: and the immaturity comment was towards anyone who might become unnecessarily overworked by whatever bullshit I was writting
StellargirlY: ahh....so what is it you want from matt and I?
DarkAngelJan582: I've never asked anything of either of you before. Why would I ask now?
DarkAngelJan582: Please don't tell me Matt is the one posting annonymously on my LJ and making threats. I thought we were all adults here.
StellargirlY: it just seems weird that you talk alot of shit about me behind my back and now you want to be my friend
StellargirlY: no
StellargirlY: its not him and i swear
DarkAngelJan582: Amanda...
StellargirlY: chris......
DarkAngelJan582: there are too many things I should say...but none of them would make sense. Not now. Probably never.
DarkAngelJan582: I cannot think of a time where I injured you when your back was turned
DarkAngelJan582: I mean
DarkAngelJan582: I've never done so intentionally
StellargirlY: are refering to your recent entries
DarkAngelJan582: I've wanted your friendship for a while.
DarkAngelJan582: But
DarkAngelJan582: Its hard to do so when you're obviously very involved with Matt. You're at a stage in life where you don't need friends as much as I might.
StellargirlY: ....i dont know its just very hard to trust you
DarkAngelJan582: I am sorry that you feel that way.
DarkAngelJan582: I really am
StellargirlY: can i ask you something...and will you answer honestly please
DarkAngelJan582: I had hoped that I might be a beacon of light in this world, instead of just another shadow to cloak....
DarkAngelJan582: please, ask away. I can only answer as honestly as possible.
StellargirlY: 4:42pm: Not for the timid of heart
There lies within my brain a new design.

As of recent (and on account of several reoccuring dreams) I've come to understand a truth about myself that I had not before accepted.

Is this about me???
StellargirlY: that entry total....i only sent a little
StellargirlY: .........
StellargirlY: stumped is hard to type yes or no
StellargirlY: is it*
DarkAngelJan582: no, it isn't
DarkAngelJan582: hard to type
StellargirlY: ok so is it about me
DarkAngelJan582: Matt is my friend. He will always be my friend. There is nothing in this world that I would ever do to hurt him.
DarkAngelJan582: If you understand this..
DarkAngelJan582: Then you know the answer to your question
StellargirlY: ok...why would you post something like that if you didnt want to hurt him
DarkAngelJan582: If it weren't directed towards him...then it cant hurt him, can it?
DarkAngelJan582: Perhaps my words fail me now. I think we are falling upon more misunderstanding
StellargirlY: see but knows what it means...and it does hurt him....because you know how pertective he is
StellargirlY: and...
DarkAngelJan582: Listen. This world is comprised of two people
DarkAngelJan582: Angels
DarkAngelJan582: And Devils
DarkAngelJan582: Those who dwell in the dark know their own kind, know the intentions of their hearts, as honorable as they might be.
StellargirlY: you actually wouldnt act on these feelings would you? I mean you were with krista
DarkAngelJan582: Amanda, what are we talking about?
StellargirlY: just nm
StellargirlY: i give up
DarkAngelJan582: before you give up
DarkAngelJan582: perhaps you should identify what you are aiming for
DarkAngelJan582: and then
DarkAngelJan582: advance
StellargirlY: i been talking to krista....and she keeps asking me "why didnt he look me in the eye when I went over there?"
DarkAngelJan582: Krista and I are a fleeting memory, a sad remnent of an even sadder time
StellargirlY: ........i really dont know what to say
DarkAngelJan582: I wish I could understand what you are really feeling right now. I really do. But you put up such an incredible wall to me...you always have...
StellargirlY: what are you trying to say......you want to get to know me?
DarkAngelJan582: I can't understand you as easily as I can pick apart the minds of almost everyone I've ever met. Why? Why can't I?
StellargirlY: so your intriged
StellargirlY: sp?
DarkAngelJan582: I'm saying that I've only ever known you as Amanda, Matt's girlfriend. I don't even know what you're about as a person...
StellargirlY: you just want to explore the "unknown"
DarkAngelJan582: Oh come on. Do you think that I would categorize you in such a way. You speak as if you are simply a subject to be studied.
DarkAngelJan582: That is not my intention.
DarkAngelJan582: It never has been
StellargirlY: then what is your intention.....i could have went without knowing this
DarkAngelJan582: Christ, is it always such an interview to be accepted into the club of friendship?
DarkAngelJan582: What do you want to know of me?
StellargirlY: did have feelings for me that night at the game?
StellargirlY: because thats what im getting from that entry..tell me if im wrong please
DarkAngelJan582: and what would your knowing this gain you? More reason to dislike me? Do you think thats what I want? How do you know I'd even answer you honestly knowing the consequences of certain answers...
StellargirlY: in chris talk thats a yes
DarkAngelJan582: Believe me, I'm having a hard enough time just trying to be your friend
StellargirlY: i dont want you to have those feelings though.....because nothing will come between matt and I
DarkAngelJan582: I've been rejected by dates before, but friends? This is a first.
StellargirlY: how am i rejecting yoiu
DarkAngelJan582: I can't even be your friend, Amanda.
DarkAngelJan582: You won't let me
DarkAngelJan582: I just want to know why?
DarkAngelJan582: or if you even recognize that you're doing so?
StellargirlY: because of who your family is.....there i siad it...im so afraid to let you in because i dont want you to stab me in the back
DarkAngelJan582: then the truth is that you cannot trust me....
DarkAngelJan582: at least now I can have some peace...
StellargirlY: earning trust is good
StellargirlY: maybe you should stew on that a scoatch
DarkAngelJan582: and what would you say to that? If I even attempted to gain your trust, would it matter? I mean, are you even in a position to reciprocate a friendship?
StellargirlY: i dont know.....i need to stew on that a scoatch
StellargirlY: but i have to go now so we need to both think....and ill get back to you on that

Who would have thought that, to be someone's friend, be someone's anything, would be such an involved and trying task...
Again, I fall into the category of the misunderstood. I'm just waiting to catch the reprocussions of this act.
Such is my life
I think I'll die now.
What a MORON!   
04:09pm 07/12/2002
mood: angry
music: The steady beating of a furious heart
Two days?
She's been gone for two days and no one knows where she is?
I haven't seen my baby boy since the beginning of the week. When I tried to call her mom's house today to find out where he's at and when I get him next, I find out she's been in southern Ohio for two days. What the fuck is she doing down there? Retard!
She's probably with that guy, the one who was up here when I got Christian from her house. I could really care less about that, but the fact that she took Christian and has been gone for two days is driving me nuts. What if she doesn't come back? Will I ever get to see my son again?
Oh god, I'm in tears. I'm in fucking tears and I don't know what the hell is going on. I hate her. I hate her with every bone in my body. I want my son back, you bitch!
God, let me get my money together. I wanna finalize this divorce and be done with it. I want legal rights to my son so she can't keep taking him like this. It's driving me insane.
I need to go now. My hands wont stop trembling and I can't type anymore.
Severely Pissed!
Speak and be heard...   
02:54pm 07/12/2002
mood: bored
music: Asleep at the Wheel - Bloodhound Gang
It troubles me.
The more I try to identify who I am, the more I feel I fall into secrecy.
It is as if I am not myself to others and a complete stranger to myself.
This journey of self-discovery has only proven that I know less about myself than ever.
I find that I'm growing to appreciate people I never would have taken the time to know before.
I find that, for the first time, its okay to be by myself. I don't have to be attached to someone else.
At the same time, I keep in mind how lonely I am by myself and I seek to be surrounded by others, not just any one person in particular. I want to be a part of a group again.
There was a time when I had several friends. We all enjoyed the same things. Video games, movies, music, RPG's, reading, writting, etc. We were all the same.
I would spend every day in their company, writting screenplays, filming our own movies, which I still have copies of and have shared with many others. I would give anything to be that happy again.
All I need are true friends again. Friends who can call me at 2 in the morning because they had a dream which inspired a scene for a movie not yet made and we could discuss it, adding our own two bits to it and creating a story that only we could see playing out in our minds. I miss those who I could count on to be there when the worst came and they lent their strength to me so I could withstand the storm. I miss the late night fires with our good buddies, Jack Daniels and Jim Beam, sippin away while I'd write funny songs on the guitar. I'll never forget "7 and a half". That song should have made it on a chart somewhere.
When I think about the happiest times in my life, I remember Mike D. Mike S. Jarrod, Dustin, Nick, Jon-O, Andrew - my crew. My boys.
They've all gone now. Moved on with their lives. Me? I was the only retard who stayed trapped. Everyone else got away.
Now I'm left to sift through the ashes of what once was.
Dark Angel
I hate my life   
07:11pm 06/12/2002
mood: blank
music: Whatever
So, I have no friends.
This is mostly my doing. I pushed people away because I was tired of trying to understand them. I figured if they couldn't meet me at my level, I wasn't going to stoop to theirs.
Does that make me an arrogant fuck? Probably. Infact, I really don't care anymore.
I'm finished with people.
I'm finished with their stupid shit.
I'm tired of pretending like I care.
Let me get this out in the open now.
You got a problem? Deal with it. It's not my issue and I'm not about to make it my issue.
You aren't my friends. None of you bastards.
Everyone can suck my ass.
Bite me
Another day, another dollar...   
04:31pm 04/12/2002
mood: cold
music: Everlong - Foo Fighters
I had to work an extra hour today because we were completely slammed and there were only 2 cooks on the line. The bosses tried to help, but I think they were in the way for the most part. Miranda helped alot, but the others kinda make it harder.
Hanley Road's restaurant closed down. The electricity was out in Shelby and Ashland, so we had people comming from every direction. It sucked ass.

Michelle, if you are reading this, what the fuck happened to your blurty. It's gone! I tried to check it out today, but to no avail. If you moved to another one, let me know where so I can read it.

Well, I must be off. Talk more later.
06:51pm 03/12/2002
mood: bouncy
music: Tired of sex - Weezer
So, I'm finished with the bitches in my life. Thank god I've got my blurty. They're always on my LJ, so I can't bitch about them as much as I'd like to there.
The ideal chick would have to be...
1. Smart
Okay. These last chicks were about as intelligent as my gym shorts. Infact, they and my gym shorts had a lot in common like....they both stank. And um...they're stained? Okay. Nevermind. I guess there not really like my gym shorts, but they still suck.
2. Really smart.
This is important because I like to have conversations that dont begin with "Like, okay" and end with "What?"
3. Sexy
Yes, being sexy is very important. And not necessarily sexy by looks alone, but the whole attitude. She's got to be positive. Her very glance should scream, "I'm a self-relying individual and totally sexy!" Confident. Yeah!
4. Attractive
Yes, attractive is different from sexy. Sexy is an attitude. Attractive is the look. And I don't care what crap guys tell you to get you in the sack, being attractive is important. Hell, go back to our animal instincts. The most attractive mate is the most desired.
5. Communicable?
By this I don't mean she's a disease. Able to communicate. The ability to carry on conversation that is worth while. I'd have tried communitive, but then that sounds like she's "been around a bit".
6. Sexual
This is important as I am a sexuallly active individual with sexual needs. It wont do me a bit of good to be with Ms. Virgin Supreme if I'm all about gettin down. You see, I am not ashamed to admit I like sex a little more than I should. That's just part of who I am. Ladies, don't tell me there aren't any of you out there who are extra sexual. I know you're lying if you say otherwise.
7. Trustworthy
Just stay true to me. Good or bad, be honest. If you wanna move on, tell me. Don't go fucking around on me and then pretend to love me when you aren't with him. I don't care if you don't like change or wont take a chance by moving on. I'm not going to be your fall back when he's finished using you. Be with me or don't. Bottom line.

I'm sure there are many more things I could write about regarding my ideal lady, but I must be off to dinner. If I think of more, I'll post more. Such is the wonder of blurty.
Romance eh? HA!   
08:46pm 30/11/2002
mood: flirty
music: grunts and moans
Romance Meter: Dark Lord Omega
Optimist 35%
65% Cynic
Close 39%
61% Distant
Sexual 75%
25% Asexual
Compare with user:
What does my romance meter read?

So, as you can see, I'm all about the ass. Oh Yeah!
Dark Lord
The second entry comes...   
07:18pm 30/11/2002
  For all you jealous people who think rhymes arent for the white
Lemme drop a few lines so yall dont get uptight
Cuz everytime I lay tracks its like layin yo momma
I lick my fingers clean of the grease after the rub down in the sauna

With some neckin and some peckin, lil kiss on the thigh
I full flip the bitch over just to nut in her eye
And when I've finished and deminished the stress from within
I get ta slappin in her ass until Im commin again

Didn't mean to hurt your feelins like I meant not to do ya mom
And I don't mean to be braggin, but she said shit was the bomb
And she said I can come over again when dad's workin
Even though he'll be watchin from the closet while jerkin

Imaginin that he had stuffed his cock in MY behind
Your little queer homo papa likes to be crossin the line
But while his vision has him creamin he starts callin ya name
Cuz everbody knows its wrong, but you and dad think its a game

Thats why nightmares of dark shadows in the night got you scured
Thats why yo shit comes like cream of wheat instead of a turd
Thats why yo momma's still cryin when I put one inside
She hears you pleasin dadda better and its hurtin her pride

So you can keep this in your head while I'm still doin the old lady
Cuz even white boys can rap this shit just like Slim Shady
You just take care of daddy, so he doesnt know what I've done
Cuz I know their entire layout and where he hides the gun.

And I don't wanna shoot your papa while I bust on your mother
It might just ruin the moment, cuz we feelin eachother
Cuz I might be rude and silly, but I'm not twisted or sick
When I see blood during sex, I pull my shit out quick.

But for now, the mood is flowin and my seamen as well
I got her legs raised to heaven while I'm given her hell
I never meant to do your mommy cuz my respect is so deep
So I just wait until the nightfall and plug her in her sleep.

This is dedicated to all the bitches in my life. You weak ass pathetic motherfuckers who think its cool to bring me down. I hate each and everyone of you with more passion that I ever had when I said I loved you. But just remember, motherfuckers will say anything just to get in your drawers. Remember that. I never loved you hoes, but yall got tricked out and didn't get a dime.
The dawn of a new era...or journal. Whatever.   
10:02pm 27/11/2002
mood: cheerful
music: Everything Weezer!
Here it is good friends,
My new journal home is blurty.com. And how strikingly similar it is to my old LJ.....hmm
Anyway. This is really fantastic. I can't wait to make new pals and such. You know, swap stories, have sleepovers...well, maybe not sleepovers, but plenty of story swapping, that's for sure.
I must be off now. I'll post more later.
The Dark Lord