|Monday, April 28th, 2003|
i met this gurl. her name is jenny. ha jenny i like that name. we spent the weekend together. it was so much fun. she makes me happy. i love her long blond silky hair. how it blows in the wind. i think she loves me. i think i love her to. Current Mood: loved
|Tuesday, April 22nd, 2003|
how come im pissed off all the time. im only happy when im having sex. or when im preforming. things r messed up. i dont know what to do. sara is the devil. she caused all of this. i mean i dont want to b mad at cone but he says that he wants to like b w/ sara even though i thought we said we will both get over her. i need to. im talking to this gurl named lauren on the internet. she doesn't believe that im me but she keeps saying im hot. which i cant complain. she lives in flordia. lucky. i wish i was there now. newhere but here. i want to go out and party. i haven't done that in awhile. i had no time. mayb ill have sex. yes that will get me happy. or horny but hey dont those two go together? i dont think dave has ne clue what is going on. lucky. stevo prob knows if not he's out in the blue. god y am i still on my lazy ass writing in here? i turned into cone. like no fun. me and stevo use2 party like every city we been in but like mayb the last time was a week or two ago. im calling him once i get off. it will be soon. i need stevo, beer, and sex and i'll b fine. but not all of those 3 at once. lmao. im not bi. is stevo? oh well we're still friends unless if he hates me. Current Mood: lonely
|my fucking life
ok cone and i had a talk on the phone. a serious talk.
me and cone decided that friendship is better is better than gurls. like um sara. i also told cone about how leaving the band was just a way i let my anger out at the time. these journals really help. i told sara in my journal not to speak to me again and how i hope she was stay away forever.
i mean it.
we also decided never to fall in love with the same gurl again. was i in love? i think not but i dont know im confused. i mean i guess i didn't really like her. i was just competing. but im not gonna get really close with ne1 bc it will tear the band apart and we r in a different city every day.more later.
deryck Current Mood: complacentCurrent Music: my friend's over u- nfg-- and me 2
|Monday, April 21st, 2003|
sara and had a fight. i told her i loved her and she chose cone over me. i told her how stevo told me they kissed and how they r bi. i also said im quiting the band and i mean it!
ok i really fucked up this time.
cone proposed to sara like last week.
i dont know what happened but i think for some i have feelings for sara. am i jelious?
one night we were chillin and watching a really stupid movie on HBO. i dont know y but we started flirting and then like i started making out with her. like it felt like we both wanted it and needed it. mayb she wasn't getting enough with cone but i dont know. she like started grabbing my dick and then i knew that this wasn't right. i asked her wtf is wrong with u and i just left. but whats wrong with me? cones my friend and like they were like getting married. im a fuckin moron.
so i went out just to get away. i drove until i saw a hill so i stopped and climbed it. i layed there for about a hour and thought if i really liked sara or if i was just an asshole who likes to get people pissed at me. how can i even tell cone? i dont want to ruin the band over this. i decided i wont tell him and go and see sara to talk about our incident.
i fell asleep on the hill and woke up the next morning to birds chirping. i found out that sara works as a stripper... did this make me like her?? so i decided to watse the day around the town and meet some fans to get my mind off of this. our band use to be so fucking fun and we acted like fucking losers.. what happened?
i met some people and they showed me how to have a good time. what we did i really dont want to say but when it was after supper i knew that i had to talk to sara.
i went home to change and cone just looked at me so fucking evil i knew that he knew. i acted like i had no clue what he was talking about because i had no fucking clue how he knew. i really want to talk to him but i just said i luv u to and left. off to the club.
i walked in and was greeted by sluts. hey nothin is wrong with that. so ya know i partied for a little while and then i saw sara and asked if we could talk and she said when she gets a chance. she walked out and did her um stripper stuff and then cone walked in. he saw her and me and walked right out of the door with steve. i guess steve knows all about this and i blew it. god life sucks. so when sara was done we went for a walk so we could talk. i asked her if she really liked me or if she just made out with me for some other reason and that im not sure if i liked her and why i kissed her, but then a car pulled up and said she has to go and left. i at least got my question out but she gave me no fucking answer. i knew i couldn't go home and knew that cone and i needed to talk.
i went to an appartment and got a room. its not near cone or steve so i'll be fine. at least until tomorrow. Current Mood: pissed off
|Tuesday, March 25th, 2003|
we're starting our tour again! so ya i wont b on for awhile. im sry for all of those who will miss me. lol. we have a concert today in Pittson, PA. so ya cone broke stevo's drums and it was so fucking funny. i think the dumbest person in the group is cone. most people dont c how stupid he is. they think he's like a good little momma's boy but ya know he isn't so shut the fuck up. sry pissed off now dont mind me.
say sweetish---doesn't it sound like swedish i was talking in ish yesterday Current Mood: drained
|Wednesday, March 19th, 2003|
ok cone and i have no fuckin life so like we r going to have the word of the day. cant u tell how much we have no fuckin life? *slaps himself silly* tomorrows will b posted! my bday is fri! Current Mood: cynicalCurrent Music: i dont know what cynical means so i'll put it
aint i a sexy beast??? i thought so Current Mood: horny
dude i got a fucking pic of me finally 2 work! ok like how come everyone has a gf or bf except me?????
is it because i fuck gurls to much?????? help!!!!!!! *runs and wacks an elephants ass* Current Mood: sadCurrent Music: headstrong by trapt
|Tuesday, March 18th, 2003|
ok i was talking to cone and ginger and i humped a tree. cone said i would last 2 min and ginger said i would last like 1 min 39 sec. so i'm out there humping the tree when this squirrel comes and like bites my dick so i ripped it off and threw it at the house next door. so ya the cops come and i just told them that it was for my defense i mean a squirrel just like bit my dick.. hello! got so i kicked the police guy in the nuts and asked him how he liked it and then he took me away. wtf i hate police officers. Current Mood: pissed off
ok i was in a BORING chat with mandy, cone, and ginger and like i thought....... if u hump a tree a lot and hard how long would it b before my dick would start to hurt? so i ran the hell out there and tried.... for like 10 minutes and then was like.. what the hell am i doing and ran inside. Current Mood: devious
|Monday, March 17th, 2003|
ok i'm gonna sit here and c how long i can write b4 i die. ok so cone and stevo and dave r all gone and i'm all alone! i would hook up w/ avril but she's not here right now. plus we would just get kicked out of a bar like last time. lol. sry memory coming back. so who likes our dvd? i love when i make an ass of myself at mcdonalds. i'm just so hot there u guys cant handle a sexy beast like me! oo i luv myself is so fucking scary! but i need to calm down bc i want people to think of me as a serious guy......cough...cough....... well i'll just shut the hell up so i dont scare everyone even more. cone's mom has a journal but i dont know if she uses it. i should get my mom to get one....nah! if u say fuck very fast and a lot it sounds like ur clucking. lol can u tell i'm bored out of my fucking mind! pink cats are yummy? fuck this shit i'm done Current Mood: giddyCurrent Music: sry but no song but the word giddy is funny
ok i went to make bagel bites ( only food in sight) and they like fuckin burned! cone - an dork- no offense cone- but he sat there staring and watching it burn!! what a jackass! off to mcdonalds! Current Mood: angryCurrent Music: young and the hopeless---first song i heard by gc
|Sunday, March 16th, 2003|
dude we r making more home videos and hopefully on our next cd we'll have it out by then. it's like nice where we r at now so im gonna go outside and stare at the sky. Current Mood: bouncyCurrent Music: the hell song
|Friday, March 14th, 2003|
dude ok i bought a local cd bc of course i'm nice and it so sucked it was like shit but there was the most sucky one ever called blah blah blah plastic bag. yeah so hows life? mine in ok but no concerts so no trashing just sex, sex, and more sex. ya life isn't that bad i guess. i need a new squirtgun though, so ne1 can buy me one! jk! Current Mood: blahCurrent Music: in to deep (dont i look sexy in that video?)
|Tuesday, March 11th, 2003|
yeah we're gonna go and get free pizza!! where's my squirtgun???? Current Mood: hyper
|Monday, March 10th, 2003|
haha sry i kicked cone! ok like everyone use lih bc thats my word bc i was drunk and thought of it! it means laughing in head so use it! Current Mood: lazyCurrent Music: the anthem--- it's on the tv
yeah i'm bored. dude did i get drunk last night! cant.... think....must.... go.... Current Mood: blank