| I don't get it |
[29 Mar 2006|06:52pm] |
I think I'm turning into one of those people who doesn't believe in monogamy. The only reason I do it is because it causes less drama. But when you think about it, humans are animals. Male dogs have sex with many female dogs and it's perfectly okay. Are humans not animals too? If a guy were to sleep with many woman, people would think he was a pimp. If a girl would do the same thing, she'd be called a whore. This is a double standard, and it really pisses me off.
And another thing. Why is it that a guy can have one set of standards for his girlfriend, but a completely different set for himself? He expects the girl to be polite and sweet all of the time and never disagree with anything. Yet he can do whatever he wants. He can act as irrational and arrogant as he wants. He can yell at her and demand things of her as often as he pleases. This is not right. I don't care what anyone says. But if the guy is an ass hole, he can't expect his girlfriend to be as sweet as pie 24 7.
*sigh* I'm frustrated.
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| Hanging on Hinges |
[06 Mar 2005|03:16pm] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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music |
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Linger-Cranberries |
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Cursed!
Change of spring break plans. Had some problems with my flight. Missed the plane. Dead broke. Restless. Rambling. Dead beat. Disenchanted.
After feverishly packing what seems like to be my life’s worth, 2 hours before I’ m to board a plane to New York, dealing with vertigo from the walking to and fro my bedroom and the colossal breadth and length that is my bathroom --
I still missed the damn flight. I cannot leave this place due to reasons I cannot elaborate for the moment. But late last, last night, I was composing a letter in my head:
"I leave for reasons I cannot elaborate. I leave for things I really wish I could say but repercussions prevent me from doing so. I was sorry. But really, right now all I want to do is disappear. I will stop right here before I say too much already. Id rather horde all my resentment willing it to go away and pray it may. Love you more than jello”
P. and I haven’t been doing very well lately. We just resurfaced from a humorless fight, hanging on hinges. For my part, I remember opting to be the usual: Stoic. Stubborn. By no means smart. I could be slow sometimes.
Then I left the valley.
I got whiplash, hopping in next to no time out of Coyote U. to the blasé Wild Zebra strip bar. Even the sights of T’s and A’s could not mollify my rage but I tried to beat some sense into myself. After all, this too, shall pass.
Came back, cowering on my backside after my trip to San Antonio and all’s well again in the household.
So here I am, in the same place, the same state of affairs, considering my losses: not seeing my friends, not going Battery Park, not being able to meet up with Alpha in Boston, missing the shopping, I was looking eagerly forward to puking in Queens.
I was essentially forlorn for about an hour until I realized that it could’ve worst. Let's not count the nots
It could always be worst.
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| i have no subject |
[04 Mar 2005|07:13pm] |
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just need to vent because i so thoroughly abhor packing and i should be damned right?
Im going to new york tomorrow, holler if you want for anyone up for smoke and beer on a saturday night
haha
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| Happy fucking new year... well maybe for you |
[01 Jan 2004|02:45pm] |
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mood |
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pissed off |
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music |
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bright eyes - lift |
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yeah life sucks again. the guy who i used to like i am not sure i like anymore at all. you see i see it this way if i just stop caring and become numb then it wouldnt bother me i am so lonely. its not like i will ever really date him anyway. i seem to get crushs on guys who either would never like me or that are unatainable (distant or gay). i think i set myself up for failure on purpose but whatever. its not like anyone fucking read this anyway so hey if you are stop because reading this will help you get any closer to anyone or make you feel better about yourself becuase if you are reading this your as pathetic as i am for writing in it.... i am hostile person
what are the signs for a person who is depressed i think not bathing is one of them but i dont know whatever...
fuck off
sarah
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[06 Dec 2003|06:43pm] |
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need to vent some things a little bit. its such a pain in the ass not actually having a face to talk to about this specific issue.
so this married guy, paul, ive been fucking around with. . (i wrote about it a little bit in my first post.. and my entire blurty journal is pretty much focused around him)
**anyways**
its hard to get my point across without having to tell you a very long story. but anyway... this past sunday he called me while i was at work.. said he had some free time (rare occasion) and was thinking of me so he decided to call... remind you he works with me they all know him and his brother is my boss. for someone being so paranoid why would he put himself at risk? and this was suppose to be shits giggles.. he isnt suppose to miss me and call whenver he feels like it.
this wouldnt be such a problem if him doing so wasnt playing with my emotions. when i know whats going on i can control myself but when its not so black and white, it isnt easy. sometimes i think im falling for him. which is the worst thing in the entire world. ughh.
i have no one to blame but myself but its sooo annoying
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[24 Nov 2003|03:19pm] |
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mood |
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scooped out - empty |
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music |
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Coheed and Cambria |
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Hi am new ... well yes I am very bitter. I am bitter because my father doesn't care about me enough to even attend my (his eldest daughters) H. S. graduation. I am bitter because my mother and father are both alcoholic's and people don't understand why I won't drink at parties. I am bitter because I graduated and then was smacked with the realization that life fucking sucks. That H. S. in no way prepares you for real life. I feel like I spent 4 years doing nothing and then was pushed into the bright lights of real life. I am bitter because I have never kissed a guy before and have never had a real boyfriend and because I have bad emotional problems when it comes to men because I didn't get enough attention from my father when I was young. And now it's to late ... and this is only the tip of the of my iceberg.
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[23 Nov 2003|11:06pm] |
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mood |
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cranky |
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music |
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Neutral Milk Hotel: on avery island |
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ahem. i am bitter.
i'm bitter because a boy lied a lot to me and made me ruin a perfectly satisfactory 2-year-in-the-making relationship and become totally alienated from my friends and my environment and then made me apply to another school and wait until it was too late to transfer anywhere else before telling me that he didn't want to move in with me after all but that i should still "get my own place in miami so we could 'kick it' sometimes."
yeah.
i'm also bitter because on the very same day that this was happening, i was also informed that a very close friend had now become romantically intertwined with the aforementioned recent ex-boyfriend, the ex-ing of whom was entirely the fault of the boy in miami.
shoo.
and i'm bitter because all the friends i had think it's really neat that these two kids are so in love, and think i'm sick and wrong for being hurt by it all.
to bitterness!
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[05 Oct 2003|09:01pm] |
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mood |
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bitchy |
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music |
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Hall Of Mirrors ~ Distillers |
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I'm new.....well moving on after that awkward silence, in the rules it said to spill bout why your bitter..hmm that's a toughie. I have lots of reasons..I guess a big one was, my dad was a drunk, and I had an INCREDIBLY messed up childhood.....btw, I love the name....If You're bitter and you know it, clap your hands! lol
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| REMINDER |
[17 Sep 2003|04:34pm] |
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Please post friends only!
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