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[06 Jun 2004|09:50pm] |
Billy for Mayor: yep i went to the book store
Billy for Mayor: oh it was awful
Billy for Mayor: it closed at 9
Billy for Mayor: and i got there at 10 til nime
Billy for Mayor: nine
Billy for Mayor: but fortunately i'm a Professional
Billy for Mayor: so when they started announcing "GET OUT GET OUT!" over the loudspeaker and flashing the lights
Billy for Mayor: i just started yelling "BOBBY! BOBBY! OMG WHERE'S BOBBY! HAS ANYONE SEEN MY SON?"
MechanicalMonky: HAHA
Billy for Mayor: and eventually everyone looked for him and that gave me time to wander around and browse the new Hitler autobiography
Billy for Mayor: haha
Billy for Mayor: the end.
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[06 Jun 2004|03:46am] |
Billy for Mayor: hahahaha i ate half that person's lunch then put it back in the refrigerator!
Billy for Mayor: after tampering with it, of course
MechanicalMonky: hahaha
Billy for Mayor: i used the bottle of spices with the big skull and crossbones on it
MechanicalMonky: thats the best one
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[06 Jun 2004|03:39am] |
[Censored]: what can i put in someone's lunch, hypotherically of course, that will be sure to kill whoever eats it, but not alert them that anything's wrong with it until it's far too late?
[Censored]: oh nevermind. i found a gun.
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[06 Jun 2004|03:30am] |
Billy for Mayor: OH OH
Billy for Mayor: today at the mall
Billy for Mayor:at Dillard's again
MechanicalMonky: oh no
Billy for Mayor: after the awful scene with the mannequins and the old women, i tried to make a quick exit
Billy for Mayor: but i got lost in the maze of cosmetic counters that blocks the entrance
Billy for Mayor: i was in the middle of like 10 of them and the women were coming at me with the blush brushes and i was screaming and yelling for someone to help
Billy for Mayor: but no one helped, of course.
Billy for Mayor:and i left looking 5 years younger, with rosy red cheeks and beautifully moisturized cheekbones
MechanicalMonky: HAHAHAHAHAHHA
MechanicalMonky: omg
MechanicalMonky: that has to be one of the funniest things youve ever said
Billy for Mayor: hahah that was my brain tumor talking
Billy for Mayor: yay thanks!
Billy for Mayor: you should make a note of that somewhere
Billy for Mayor: and write your Congressman and nominate me for a Purple Heart
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[06 Jun 2004|03:20am] |
Billy for Mayor: oh dear. you're right about this band
Billy for Mayor: it sounds like a group of schizophrenic Eurotrash on Ecstacy that has gotten ahold of a synthesizer and tape recorder
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[06 Jun 2004|03:18am] |
MechanicalMonky: great... now I have to be jealous of women and mannequins, too?
Billy for Mayor: hahah yes
Billy for Mayor: anything with a hole or shoes
Billy for Mayor: basically
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[06 Jun 2004|03:10am] |
Billy for Mayor: i somehow got signed up for this disabled gay porno newsgroup
Billy for Mayor: and they say people with legs have all the fun...
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[05 Jun 2004|08:42am] |
Heimidal 2003: we should do something fun today
Billy for Mayor: yes
Billy for Mayor: i have a whole list of exciting things we can do today
Billy for Mayor: i'll warn you now though, some involve jail time...
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[02 Jun 2004|04:54pm] |
secretlym: fuck. my computer has more viruses than a cape hooker
secretlym: what a whore
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[01 Jun 2004|02:19pm] |
secretlym: oh jesus
secretlym: i just saw your cock
secretlym: Argha lkja;lekrjae rknaelr k
secretlym: secretlym: holy shite
secretlym: and mothjer of good god almighty
secretlym: shit fuck, shit fuckfuck
secretlym: fucking hell fire
secretlym: oh mother, please stop!!!
secretlym: nooOOOO
Billy for Mayor: well it's good to know my genitals have that effect on women
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[01 Jun 2004|02:19pm] |
secretlym: i need a ploy for eevenge
secretlym: you know, aside from catching herpes just sp i can give it to someone
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[30 May 2004|06:43am] |
Billy for Mayor: three rooms occupy 10 square feet of space. call it whatever you want. we're fucking there
Billy for Mayor: with you braced against the wall
Billy for Mayor: while i fuck your lights out
Heimidal 2003: me braced against the wall?
Heimidal 2003: wanna go into more detail?
Billy for Mayor: no
Billy for Mayor: but it'll involve pulleys and wenches
Billy for Mayor: and we'll have to figure that out beforehand
Heimidal 2003: lol
Billy for Mayor: hahhaha
Billy for Mayor: cause please, im not coordinated enough to fuck AND hold you up at the same time.
Billy for Mayor: i might spill my drink
Heimidal 2003: lol
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[30 May 2004|06:01am] |
Billy for Mayor: i think i crashed the porno server
Billy for Mayor: hahahah
Billy for Mayor: i've been downloading porn from their servers on two computers nonstop for the past twelve hours
Billy for Mayor: no now i keep getting all these errors and none of their webpages will load right
Billy for Mayor: and it takes like 40 seconds to download a small porno picture
Billy for Mayor: those fucker!
Billy for Mayor: i should sue!
Billy for Mayor: i'm disgruntled and aggrivated and horny, goddamnit! and someone's going to pay!
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[30 May 2004|05:50am] |
Billy for Mayor: jk bro
Billy for Mayor: haha
Heimidal 2003: stop calling me bro
Billy for Mayor: ok bro, chill out dude!
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[30 May 2004|05:31am] |
Billy for Mayor: so we'll have to spend the day scouring the city for candidates
Billy for Mayor: we'll haev a contest
Billy for Mayor: WHO WANTS TO BE IN A THREE WAY
Billy for Mayor: they can phone a friend and ask a stranger or substitute Regis Philbin for one of us
Billy for Mayor: oh it'll be great!
Billy for Mayor: hooray to threeways!
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[30 May 2004|01:19am] |
Heimidal 2003: anyway
Heimidal 2003: I don't think we're going camping
Billy for Mayor: thats what YOU think
Billy for Mayor: we'll wait until monday night
Billy for Mayor: so all the tourists are gone
Heimidal 2003: lol
Billy for Mayor: and the bears will be full
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[30 May 2004|01:05am] |
Heimidal 2003: i see
Heimidal 2003: that's nice.
Billy for Mayor: hhahhahh dont be jealous
Billy for Mayor: there'll still be enough fuckin left for you
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[30 May 2004|12:57am] |
Billy for Mayor: am i an awful person? hHAHAHA
Billy for Mayor: i sure hope so
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[30 May 2004|12:28am] |
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Billy for Mayor: i should get some sort of tax break from the government, all the people i date.
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