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Kitty's Journal

30th May, 2004. 12:39 am.

Ok so it is 2:20am. I am watching Return of the King. I was soo depressed today. I just feel lonely, and like a loser. The truth is I'm not cool, so I don't have friends. Ok so I have a few I talk to online from school or whatever but we don't hang out. Not even my brother hangs with me. Alright so that doesn't count right, because your little sister isn't supposed to hang with you. It's always been this way. I've always tried to be the good girl but I just don't think I got what I deserved for it. So now I'm wanting to get drunk, go find some greenies that I've missed out on. I actually would sit in a room with my friends smoking a bong, but I never joined in because I was too busy being the "good girl." I'm not missing anything? Whatever, I don't care. My uncle killed himself, why shouldn't I? Do all us teenagers think about sucide? Is life always so cruel with depression in our minds and hearts? True love doesn't exist until you stand up for yourself. Truth is I'm hard of hearing, who could learn to love a cripple like me, boohoooohooooo. I feel lost, I'm a lost kitten. I may not be the hottest looking chick right now but you should have seen me Junior year, with a bod like that I could kill. Oh that's right I did, haha. I'm working on it. Getting back into shape. Maybe that's something to bring back my self-esteem. And maybe I actually will be Billy C's Kitty one day, ha.

Current mood: gloomy.
Current music: DMB- Crash into ME.

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