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[27 Feb 2004|03:35pm] |
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mood |
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 complacent |
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music |
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88 fingers louie |
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this has been the longest time of my life. it has been neither good nor bad. but my job rocks. i love those damn kids so much. they are super friggin cute. i can't wait til spring break. its going to be a well deserved break. I've been working soooo hard with amnesty, sino, my grant, and with my other projects. why do i put myself through such pain? i actually ended up sleeping in the library a few tilmes. insane isn't it? its not that bad of a place to sleep. sad enough, its almost better than my own bed. me hanh, and zoom found this great apt. its SOOOO close to school! its so close you'd crap your pants. i know i did. the closet is huge. but best of all, its SOOO CLOSE! i also found out greg irwin is engaged. i saw him the other day. it is insane. everyone is getting married!!!!!! and me? well, left alone desiring patrick. oh sigh!
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[27 Feb 2004|03:33pm] |
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mood |
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complacent |
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music |
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88 fingers louie |
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this has been the longest time of my life. it has been neither good nor bad. but my job rocks. i love those damn kids so much. they are super friggin cute. i can't wait til spring break. its going to be a well deserved break. I've been working soooo hard with amnesty, sino, my grant, and with my other projects. why do i put myself through such pain? i actually ended up sleeping in the library a few tilmes. insane isn't it? its not that bad of a place to sleep. sad enough, its almost better than my own bed. me hanh, and zoom found this great apt. its SOOOO close to school! its so close you'd crap your pants. i know i did. the closet is huge. but best of all, its SOOO CLOSE! i also found out greg irwin is engaged. i saw him the other day. it is insane. everyone is getting married!!!!!! and me? well, left alone desiring patrick. oh sigh!
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[18 Jan 2004|09:34pm] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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music |
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guttermouth |
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well, other than violently throwing up on Friday, this week hasnt been that bad. I mean, I was tired like Hell, but who isn't right? Plus that could be a sign that i should stop my man-nizing. Sure, they all suck and such. Oh and I got my hair cut. CUTE! Or so what people said. It's like a 50ish style bob. I've been thinking about getting my nose pierced. I got a fake one and have been trying it out and I really like it. I just hope that what happened to my eye brow doesnt happen to my nose. And what happens if I blow my nose. I mean, allergy season's coming up! Oh so much to worry about! All ways me!! Oh dear Oh my! I hope I last this semester. Ive been so tired. That and now Im sure the campus thinks I'm some pervert. At least I'm cute right? I looked at my camera this morning with Mandy, I found out that I have over 100 pictures of people's crotches and tits. Thanks to Rachel's party :) It's art damnit, I don't care what people say. I'm single and bored! Give me something!!
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[13 Jan 2004|01:04pm] |
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mood |
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 listless |
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music |
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emo is good/emo is evil |
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school started yesturday. I have a STONG feeling I'm not going to have a life this semester. PROJECTS PROJECTS PROJECTS. not just with art and design, but with lab, fitness, AND research. Forget about getting a job...no time. and I am really looking forward to going to DC to visit jason and see Yasim too. Tattoo!!! I only hope it happens. I will spiral into a deep depression if it falls through. I think Im going to some snow thingy at Rolla next weekend. Its free and its an excuse to dress up--slutty? I don't know yet. Lets see the weather. Not like I have anyone to impress. anyways, even though I have no time for a job, im going job hunting--right...NOW.
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[09 Jan 2004|12:28am] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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music |
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Exies |
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man school is going to start in like four days. It's gonna SUCK. I can't wait til I graduate. I called the bookstore today to ask for a list of books. Those money grubbing bastards won't give me the list. I have to go to the bookstore to get it. All this just so I don't buy from outside. Wankers. I spent most of yesturday with Sean. He sure acts wierd when other people are around. Not so intimate with me. I never knew he wanted to have kids. AND he wants to be in a relationship. He's not all about the sex. Too bad he's like the male version of me. Dating him would be too weird. I saw Secret of the NIMH today. Those mice and rats were SOOO cute. It reminded me of Justin and Rutter Jr. Too bad I had to kill them. :( Stupid science and the betterment of man. I hope next semester my research project doesn't suck. I think im going to be working alone this time. Good. No more stupid volunteers or underlings to f*ck up my work and make me stay longer. No offense to them, but seriously, its not like i gave them hard stuff to do. Put this there and keep doing that. How hard is that!? Arg, people can be such dumbasses sometimes. On a lighter note. I need a man before my loins burst. Wait, that was NOt a lighter note...I mean I'm horny....I mean, so...how are things going in Chetchnia...I mean....aw, damnit
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| ::evil smile:: |
[06 Jan 2004|12:05am] |
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mood |
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evil |
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music |
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emo is good/ emo is evil |
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dah men SUCK sooo much. I am NOT in denial about Matt...ok, yes I am. :( fuck off. My man hate has reached a new high. I've become vindictive and evil. Sadistic some may say. It brings me great joy to hear them cry out in pain. If you can only see the evil smile on my face. As animals, they deserve to be punished. Especially if you call me all pissed off that I dumped your ugly ass just because I had a MORAL conscious and decided NOT to abuse you. He got off lucky. Unlike Alex who now has (hopefully) permanent scars on his back. The cry of pleasure and pain he let out was like a drug. Kinky and erotic. Men are so stupid. Tell them that youre flexible, purr a little and they'll do anything for you. Idiots. Hey, at least I admit that I'm a bitch. Maybe one day I won't be a bitch anymore. But for now, I'm gonna have some fun ::evil smile::
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[03 Jan 2004|11:37am] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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emo is good/ emo is evil |
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well kaya is gone...i'm so sad. she left early this morning at 5 am. I stayed up all night so I could drive them to the airport. I figured that if i slept, I wouldn't wake up. She was awake at 4 am. I walked in and she was just looking at me with a smile. No crying, no yawning, just a smile. She was perfect. I sat next to her and she just rolled over and strectched her arms out to me. I never thought I would miss something so little. but I miss her already...i hate to be stupid and cheesy but she was like this weird little angel. everyone was so happy. she made me happy. I didnt feel like i needed those damn pills. I felt like I had feeling inside again. having valeri and kai around was nice too. having the whole family around was nice. choc. vicki. sure the house had like 6 people too many for capacity, but everyone was happy to see each other. we get along really well--especially with my new sisters. its nice to have sisters. I'm really glad that I got sisters that are so easy to get along with. I mean, vicki is pretty much a sister to me anyways. shes been around since i was like 7. valeri is just easy to get along with. kaya. sure her shit stinks, but you can't forget that devilish smile she gives you right before she drops a load :)
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[30 Dec 2003|04:18am] |
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mood |
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music |
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tryte |
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so i also got my present from mario today. i feel shitty because i haven't had time to think about what to get him. i hate getting people stupid shit so to be honest I'm broke and don't know what to get him with my limited resources. He got me the Tryte demo I've been trying to get Matt and Mike to give me and a wierd lighter that has breasts. My dad found that. I think he was just being polite when he pretended not to know what it was. Seriously, I really hope he knows what it is because come on, they're breasts. its not hard to miss. I also went out with Matt like two days ago....It was very comfortable and enjoyable. But it was enjoyable with Alex too. Damnit, Alex is right. I have to dump whats his face. He's right. I can't 'date' someone just to buy me things. I dont even let him touch me. Yech. Anyways, perhaps I'll have the balls tomorrow (i doubt it)
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[30 Dec 2003|04:04am] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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music |
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Tryte (from Mario :) ) |
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today was interesting. well, not until night time. i played with Kaya all day except she kept farting in my lap. it got to the point where i started to smell like fart. not attractive. anyways, i saw alex s. for the first time in like almost two years. it was crazy. we went for coffee which eventually just turned to going to the bars. Did you know MP Oreilies is in Central West End? Apparently it is. It was enjoyable. THen we went to SLU to walk around a bit. For a stupid shitty overpriced school, its still pretty. To end this, I LOVE KAYA. She's the CUTEST BABIE IN THE WHOLE FRIGGIN WORLD!
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[19 Dec 2003|11:57pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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damnit. my first few days back and already im in a bitchy mood. guess why? why, could it be everyone's favorite uncle? seriously, first he f*cking accuses me of FAKING my flu. who FAKES an illness over break!??!!?!? I HATE HIM. THEN it's ALL MY FAULT that the family isn't perfect. When I said that there is no such thing as a perfect family, despite appearances, his "rebuttal" was that we could be MORE towards 'perfect'. What an asshole. THen I said then why don't you go start your own family and make it perfect. THat shut him up. Then he said no one will marry me. WHat kind of fucked up uncle is that?? I'm not the one that's over forty and living with a family that hates him (albeit my dad seems to like him for some reason). He is such a delusional critical asshole. He would not have the nerve to say these things to my family when we are all in the room together. Only an insecure coward would put people down the way he does. I hate people like him. Oh, and I should know my place?! What the hell is that suppose to mean? I know what he meant. He even said it. I should know my place as a woman. That's right. He is such a fucking pig. I HATE MEN.
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[12 Dec 2003|04:12pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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music |
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Somewhere over the rainbow (playing in my head) |
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its finally over!!!!!! ok, its just my first final...but it was organic!!!! i was up til 7 this morning thinking about this test. yes i said THINKING cuz i gave up on studying at 4:30 am. I almost puked in the middle of the final. Seriously, only the devil would teach a whole chapter on new material then put it on the final. He's totally asian hatin. But at least I didn't wet my pants. It's always a good day when I don't wet myself. Oh, and I dont' remember if I mentioned this but Patrick is a douchebag. Harsh words from a harsh woman i know. But the truth must be heard! I cant wait til summer already. My poor ghetto car is frozen from this shitty weather. MO blows. SEriously, the midwest sucks shitty anuses. No joke too. My car door is frozen shut so I have to crawl in from the passenger side. How broke is that? And once summer comes Im boycotting pants and bras. Moomoos and skirts, come to mama!
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| big fat chicks |
[10 Dec 2003|07:03pm] |
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mood |
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 lethargic |
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music |
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Rufused the shape of punk to come |
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so i was wondering who this dark star person is then i forgot that i've done NOTHING all day and needed to study for my stupid organic test so i stopped thinking about it. i went to ATO's Heaven and Hell party yesturday. Some advice, dont ever go to a party directly from the library unless you by chance went to the library dressed like a slut to study. I saw everyone there and freaked out Hahn with my 'alternative lifestyle'. Bah, whatever. Anyways, it was weird. I think Drew was drunk and I saw phil there all naked (ok, half naked, but it cuaght me by surprise). I met Drew last week at teh Prism dance. I was having all sorts of fun and looking hot until I saw Ginger and some skank she was with. Ok, maybe I was a little jealous. It was stupid. It's not like I didn't go out with anyone after we broke up. So after the drag show I was a little mopey. Can you blame me? I kind of met Drew before at some ATO party. I think it was the Halloween one where I was groped by all those foriegn bastards (seriously, I really hate those assholes). ANyways, he's a nice guy (more than Patrick who blew me off last saturday--what a douche). The only problem was that we had this really interesting conversation and he kept spitting in my face/eyes/everywhere. Yeah, he was a little drunk. But what was i suppose to do? How do you say "hey man, you're spitting all over me" without ruining the conversation. It was just refreshing to meet someone who listens to the same music and wants to start a band too. School blows and I swear one day, I'm just gonna quit. Though Ive been thinking that I will take a year off and teach english in japan. I have to get out of here. OH, and whats up with big fat chicks being hoes?
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[02 Dec 2003|01:27pm] |
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mood |
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 weird |
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music |
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Primer 55 |
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semester is almost over!!! man, im so stupid. i have a black eye because i decided to do *******(i dont know what it is called) and my incense burning fell on my face. im such a dork. today in class i noticed something that no one cares about. i have some pretty sweaty feet. i mean, they don't stink (thank god), but damn, they are some wet mother f*****s. what is wrong with me? seriously, feet like 'that' can't be normal. its cool though, with the black eye, i can now tell people that it's from an abusive relationship. i'm a battered wife! j/k.....or am i? i am demented enough to do something like that. so word out there is that a lot of people liked the grant proposal I've been working on with Robbi and Jen. There is rumors that it might get funded. GASP. MORE work!!!!!
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[29 Nov 2003|04:29am] |
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mood |
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music |
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Dildo on a stick (hit 'em in the face) |
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PS ass ka pows hurt!
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| A$$ Ka P0W! |
[29 Nov 2003|04:20am] |
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mood |
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 naughty |
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music |
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Thrice |
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ah...thanksgiving was a successful endeaver. Thank you Frankie. Not sure if i gained weight or not. But lets just say I ate a lot of pie, cake, and whatever else that came into close proximity of my mouth during those two hours I ate. Today was a workout. Nothing like a rough game of Ass Ka-pow to work up those muscles. I think I ass kapowed sean so many times that his ass became immuned because he wouldnt be ignoring me! I also gave him a wedgie :) but that was punishment for tackling me several times and trying to throw me out of the house. That's not nice Mr. Sean. The last two days also involved obscenely long hours of video game play-age. Man, me and Mandyland suck at driving, moving, maneuvering, shooting, dancing, etc. anything. I guess coordination and rhythm are not our strong points. Well, its not MINE at least. All this fun and all I can think about in the back of my brain is those two damn projects my professors gave me. "Oh I'm sure you all won't have much to do over this break" my ass. Just cuz they aren't out getting laid doesn't mean everyone else isn't either. Wait, did I say that I meant....unicorn. Yeah.....
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[26 Nov 2003|01:10am] |
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arg i finally got home and all i can think about are all the friggin projects i have to do over my break. what the hell? i took a break and went to see school of rock with swain and sean(o). Stupid white people! Ok, swain isn't white. so technically Im only referring to sean. But since he has decided that he's going to be all white, then his opinion doesn't really matter on this somewhat asianic page. It's like when you go to a foreign country and lose all immunity. Ah ha!...I know im rambling...im VERY tired and unnable to sleep. and now that i think about it, im hungry and i want pants.....
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[24 Nov 2003|08:01pm] |
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mood |
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 full |
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music |
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David Bowie's I'm afraid of Americans |
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so i think i figured out how to get free pizza from pizza hut. order a large half pepperoni and canadian bacon pizza and when you go to pick it up, say you ordered a large pepperoni. When they tell you that they have a half pepperoni and canadian bacon for you, go ape shit and start yelling slanderous things about how the canadian ruin everything. And this is your Dr. Shirley tip of the day :)
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| Turkey for me, Turkey for you |
[24 Nov 2003|02:32pm] |
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mood |
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 quixotic |
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music |
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I have no idea what quixotic means, I hope it means no pants |
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Arg, organic chemistry is going to be the bane of my life. Must I, as a lowly biology student, submit to the cold, harsh teet of alkyl compounds, mononucleic substitutions, and tertiary eliminations? This day started out pretty strange too. I woke up from having this weird nightmare where this gigantic green and purple polka dotted mushroom/fungus was chasing me through this house which was suppose to be my cousins. Don't ask me why. Anyways, i succeeded in tearing the mushrooms stem off and kill it (it had a mind of its own). But the shroomy head part was still after me. All I could think about was the germs. It was a fungus after all. I never succeeded in killing the head part. I just managed to lock myself in a room to get away. But here was the scary part. The room I had locked myself in was filled with bacteria and germs that were colonizing the room at an exponential rate. I was VERY freaked out. THen something magical happened. SOmething appeared and gave me some antibacterial fungus spray. However, it was the size of an eye drop container and I was freaking out because it wasn't enough and I was making the bacteria mad. Then I woke up. How horrifying! So I decided that I would skip all my classes today except for organic since I had a test. I studied during the time I didnt go to class. Man, that test kicked my balls. I didnt wet myself as predicted, but I had a distinct feeling of testicular cavity withdrawal. Yes, I know. Scary thought. Don't think about it. It's mind blowing. Anyways, chao baby. I'm gonna go home and stuff myself to the point of sickness and tremendous weight gain. Ah, one can only hope...
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[19 Nov 2003|08:11pm] |
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mood |
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weird |
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I'm wasting all my time |
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Killing time here. Just wanted to talk more on Patrick. It was such a pleasant surprise--not to sound like a sap. It made my day, really it did. Funny how something small could change a person's day. I am VERY tired today. I can't believe this semester is almost over. I mean, seriously. I have SO much to do!! I also met Rachel's boy toy from Chicago. Nice catch Rach. He looked really hungry though so maybe you should feed the poor bastard. I can't wait to see everyone once I get back to st louis. Patrick tried to talk me into going to upperlimits in bloomington. I am tempted. But it is also the same day as the Prism dance. We also talked about how we need to make a road trip and play in mud (yes, that is ONE event). Seriously, I LOVE playing in mud. SOmething about being covered in clayee slippery dirt that makes me so excited. Yeah, i know, sounds dirty. You are such a pervert you know that? I mean, seriously. Can't you take your mind off of those things just for ONE second so I can talk about men? CAN'T YOU?!?!?!?!?!
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[19 Nov 2003|03:04pm] |
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mood |
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drained |
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music |
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Ill be right there for you |
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It has been a weird few days...I dont know how to feel. Mandy came up to stay with me Tuesday night. I wasn't in the condition to be alone. I dont know what I would do without my friends. Am I in shock? Today I went by blah-say. It was just weird. Patrick skated up to me though. It was a welcomed shocked. We wasted half an hour talking and then made plans for Saturday. He got my number :) oooo. That made me feel better. But am I still in shock? Or am I just handling things well? This semester is almost over. I'm looking forward to that. I lost a friend, but maybe I found a new one.
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