BILLETS-DOUX // unsent love letters' Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
BILLETS-DOUX // unsent love letters

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i missed you. [31 Jul 2008|07:32am]

[ mood | happy ]
[ music | david gray-this years love ]

dear cody,
we were so young and so immature and we didnt understand exactly what we were doing. im sorry i broke up with you and that it took me so long to realize it was a mistake. why didnt you call sooner? that night i saw you, i knew that i still loved you and that we would be together again. we have only been back together for a month now but you have no idea how happy you make me. i hope i tell you how much i love you and appreciate you as much as you need to hear it. im so glad you are living with me...but when in the hell are we going to move into our house? :-) i just want you to know that im here and im in it for the long haul. i wanna be with you. not just now, but till the end of our lives.

thank you for accepting me bruised and broken..
and thank you for your help in repairing myself.

chicka/baby girl

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[29 Mar 2007|07:29pm]


i'm still in love with you.
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dear courtney [05 Nov 2004|01:19pm]

[ mood | lonely ]

i love you so incredibly much you have no idea what you do for me.. those days that you think were just having sex becaues its fun.. no.. its not just that.. its much much more than that... i love you with every inch of my heart... i wish it were okay for me to say this to you.... i love you i love you i love you i love you


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Dear John... [28 Sep 2004|06:46pm]

You probably consider me one of the queerest girls you've ever met. I almost feel 1/2 stalker, but I know that isn't how you would think of me. I just hope and pray that you do think of me though. Think of me like I think of you...everyday... I remember when we met, and I was the preppy Miss goody two shoes. I was only 13 and it seems like forever ago, but I remember it like yesterday. Me and Kimm were always looking for new fun. Well Kimms cousin Megan was at teen thing and she introduced us to you and Brett. You were playing basketball and we watched like the giggly girls we were, not, we played too.. but anyway, Kimm wore your chains, and being that we were looking for fun, we saw you guys as SUPER fun! But forget when we met, thats not even the important part of it all.
One day at teen thing it was just us.. or all of a sudden it was just us anyway.. and we walked around and talked, and ate french fries, I always thought you were quite cool, and cute in your own spikey haired way. I was going through my 'different' phase. Pretty soon you were calling long distance to ask me out. Of course I said yes. It was a stupid middle school relationship, but when you held my hand I never felt better. Then I dumped you. Then we were together again. Then I dumped you. and you went out with her. and her. and her. I was so mad because you werent as persistant anymore. But it was still the same. It never failed, friday nights I would look for you, we'd sit on the ground, like lunatics, you taught me how to skateboard... Martha faded, other girls came and went, boys were even more frequent for me.. I realized why I left you, I had been tired of your differentness, maybe I wanted closer to perfect? I never kissed you..
When I met Mac, my 1st after you, and my 1st kiss too.. I didn't drift back to you once. But when I met another John I was reminded of how much n i c e r you were back then to me. So I returned to the skater punks and waited for you constantly. Once I ran to you, and you grabbed me and spun me around in a circle. I never forgot that one. Your hugs were the best but I was frightened. I didnt know if I was doing something wrong. You started to scare me. And I had vowed to never leave someone based on looks again. John wasnt good to me, and I finally realized that and broke up with him. But I still felt nervous around you. I'd meet you there, you'd hug me. I loved it. You are the only person I ever knew that could be so fricken welcoming. I was an old friend you didnt see for weeks at a time that you hugged upon ever reentry. I started being my uneasy self, getting up and leaving midconversation because I felt so uncomfortable. You always chased after me. Never questioning. Just following. We'd be with my friends, your friends, and I'd just run for the door, and sit on that jump and pout. I was such a mess of confusion. My heart always screamed JOHN JOHN JOHN. but my head was a different story.
You asked me to your snowball, when I was going with the other John, and I went.. I'd been to dances with you before, they were the best.. dancing with you was the best.. it never failed for us to click again. But you were still on hold like always.
There was a skateboard jump I'd go and sit on, you used to tease that you would try and jump over me.. when you werent there I'd cry. and I'd hold myself and rock back and forth while the world still skated around me. We used to go on walks, we'd circle the perimeter. I loved to walk with you.
Then all of a sudden I met Danny. where he came from I dont know. But I was through with messing around with guys' heads.. I made a promise to myself that he'd be it, and he has been for the past year and a 1/2. This may it will have been 3 years since it was over, but I saw you this summer, and I felt that instant connection. But of course I hid behind Danny, because I'm his now.
I think its true what they said, considering I feel that I could write a book.. never stop loving your 1st love..
You'll always be in my heart John Wilcox.
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Dear Love, [02 May 2004|11:05am]

You are the best friend I could ever ask for, and I love you. I love you so much it hurts.

But you don't love me that way, do you? You love HER. Her who also does not love you back. Her who you pine over, dream about, fantasize about, her who you love so much it hurts.

I love the way you look into my eyes when we speak, the blue so bright it is blinding.

I hate the way you look at her, knowing you will never look that way at me.

Sometimes, you confuse me, send mixed messages...than other times, the message is so clear it is heartbreaking.

Hearing you cry over the phone about how you're sorry you hurt me, that you wish you could like someone as "wonderful" as me, but that we just weren't "meant to be together", gave me intense pain. Hearing you explain that you are hurt because SHE did the same thing to you, gave me satisfaction.

But still, you do not understand, as if the rules of life do not apply to me. As if so many girls are after you, you could have your pick of the pack. You do not however, but that does not stop you from thinking you are better than me, and deserve better than a pathetic, fat, ugly, depressed, miserable, stupid girl that you have as a best friend. Or did have.

I said goodbye to you before, but this time I mean it. This is the end. I hope you cry over my death, I hope you do. Then maybe you'll finally understand.

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Hi! I'm new [01 Apr 2004|10:58pm]

loveletter )
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(newbie) [24 Dec 2003|10:48am]

[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | As You Sleep~ Something Corporate ]

you'll never know how much i like, wait scratch that, love you. the second i met you that day at practice i just turned into cooked noodles. i was walking on clouds up until that fateful week when i exposed myself and then you told me at open house how you didn't want to date me because of your rep. and i loved you so much i sat there and nodded like an idiot and then we started talking about what you wanted to do after college and it was great, but the next day you were with amy and i was alone yet again. it's been down hill ever since then. but you can say that i never got angry about it up until now. now i notice that if you were really "digging" me as you said, i wouldn't be writing this and you wouldn't be miserable watching me everyday in the library and in band. i've seen the way you stare and the the wanting look in your eyes. i see how you've wanted me since the beginning of school. there had to be some type of motive behind that night at district when you constantly made little comments and how you called me beautiful and you hugged me. there had to be. then you had the audacity to IM me late last night and calling me by my nickname that you came up with. michael robichaux, i'd sell my soul for you.

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[23 Dec 2003|04:30pm]

[ mood | indescribable ]
[ music | Placebo-Bitter End ]

Dear Kris, )

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[12 Dec 2003|03:00pm]

dear community,
i made a new community. it's a random community where you can post anything. about your day, lyrics, poems, quotes, random thoughts, ideas, whatever you damn well please. so go join and post something. also, spread the word :)

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[11 Dec 2003|05:15pm]

[ mood | loved ]

To the dearest community of Billet doux,
I would like to say that I find the purpose of this community breathtaking and constructive. Your information made a great impression seeing that we all have those unsent letters. I wish to post a letter soon.


~+*+~Some of us keep dreams, Others make them reality~+*+~

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[06 Dec 2003|10:57pm]

[ mood | marcel ]
[ music | merman -emiliana torrini ]

my dearest love,

so im wondering what you are doing right now? there's so many things i'd like to say to you at times. so many things i'd like to say. but everytime you are around you numb my lips. you've frozen time, and you've always managed to do so.

i remember your eyes. the way you stare at me with them. it's as if my whole existance has been understood from that single moment in time. and i'd cry so much for everything. but you look at me, with those set of eyes. and i'll know that you love me.

is this how it really is? sometimes while you are laying on my chest softly sleeping i would tell myself.. that i would never be able to feel this. i will never be able to feel like this. the love that you have given me for so many days. we've been together for so long and yet everything still feels so fresh from the first days that we've met. from everything that we've been through. those days when i wanted to die, you've always been the first to call. and to understand my pain. and even if it was just those simple words. when you'd tell me you would always be there for me and you were. you'll never know how much that means to me. when every soul has gone away and left me alone, you've always came by to stay with me. and you held me close, as if i was the only thing. you've held me close even when i was not the most beautiful thing. you'd treat me like i was when no one ever did.

who can possess a girl like me? i've done nothing considerable around this time. i feel void of everything that's been plaguing. the accident that had happened recently has ruined my life. i am mostly depressed and falling. i am not the most prettiest one of all. i am not prom queen. i am not popular amongst this world. and everything that i do doesn't seem to fit. who can possess a girl like me?

but then you'd come along. and you would hold me close underneath your chin. and you would tell me i am worth everything. you would give me the love i knew i couldn't deserve. i am worthless these days. but you would walk along to my house. even when you live so far away, and god only knows this. you would walk and tell me you'd come over as though you had a car to take you along that ride. and then you would hold me as if i was the most beautiful thing.

as you are lying there peacefully at slumber in your rest, i am quickly consumed by all of these thoughts. as humans, and as insignificant of an existance as we are in this world and as you sleep.. nobody will ever quite understand how much that you bring. you bring me life. you bring me the greatest of heights. feelings i never thought i could ever feel. words will never describe these emotions that stir from inside. and even from that single glimpse from your eyes. i'll know..

and as i am thinking of you know.. thoughts of you are just swimming in seas. it's everything you've done. and everything you are. the most beautiful, unselfish soul that i've seen. i love you. i love you marcel.

sincerely yours, bernadette

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One of those billet doux's [03 Dec 2003|03:59pm]

Hey there ______!

I like you. I'm guessing that you like me too. I notice the way you stare at me. I'm guessing you've noticed the way I've stared at you. I like your eyes, they are deep an rich like melted chocolate. I love your hair, it becomes you. I love the carefreeness that seems to dance around you as you walk. I find you intensely interesting, I've never seen a boy like you or if I have seen a boy like you, I have never had a trifle of pleasure meeting one. You are so kind and yet so confidant. Where does your confidence come from? It seems to whisp everyone who surrounds you, of fear from intimdation away. I love your style, of gothic boy, to pacificist, to whatever to gentleman. Your style is much like mine, man, I wish we could do something. I wish we could hang out, just have fun. But know, that I like you, like you. But if you only wish to be friends its ok. Wait, if you read this letter, and I ask you out, it would be lame of me to do so! Becuz if a boy ever asked me out this way, I'd slam him an say "Why couldn't he say it to my face?" So I won't give this to you in the hall. I wish I could, but what of the ridicule that I could recieve or you recieve from your friends? Your a jr, so are you mature enough to handle taunting? Is that why you don't come up to greet me when your friends surround you? Or do I just intimdate you too?

I wish I knew. I'd love to talk to you.

[03 Dec 2003|01:16pm]

Hey. I really miss you. I remember the days we would sit on the couch together. I miss you being so close to me. I miss being able to talk to you. I remember when I would just be able to walk down the hallway and there you would be.
I remember when I could just call you and I'd be able to talk to you. That was nice. I remember our conversations on the phone. They were usually short, but they were so sweet. I miss them so much. I miss you so much. I wish you were in my arms right now.
Why'd you have to go away Josi? Why'd you have to leave me? What happened? Are you gonna get better? Please get better. I hate that I can't have any contact with you. Your mom is such a bitch, I fuckin' hate her. I hate that I'll probably never hear from you again. Do you think of me, Josi? Do you miss me? Will you remember me? Will I remember you? I hate this so much Josi. I wish it were easier. I wish everything were easier. I wish I could just steal you away and we could be together and I could hold you. We could just lay together for forever. But, that's now how it is..I miss you.
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[01 Dec 2003|10:07pm]

hey...I just joined the community and I will post a letter in a little while...
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