Sean Wilson's Blurty|
[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in
Sean Wilson's Blurty:
|Wednesday, June 4th, 2003|
Hey big fella, how's it hangin?
Anyway, today went much like the past few days have. I've been battling arthritis, and the last five days being rainy and colder than normal have had a real adverse effect on my body. I'm hurting constantly, and the only time I'm not is when I'm talking to Jess. Unfortunately Jess doesn't want to talk to me right now, she doesn't feel like talking to anyone, so I'm just going to let her be by herself for a while. I'm scared...I really really don't want to lose her. I can lose everything else I've ever had or ever will have, but I've got to have Jess. I'm meant to be with her, and all these obstacles are trying to break the bond we have but i'm not going to let it. I love her with all my heart. She's all I think about, all I dream about, all I really care about. I'm going to marry her, I don't care when or where, but I'm going to...I'm going to spend my life with Jess.
Speaking of obstacles, a friend of hers named Andy called her cell today. Jess didn't hear the phone ring, and Andy got voicemail and left a rather vulgar message. It's a shame the depths that miserable toe rags, the pawns of the universe....the western pariah, will sink when left to their own devices. Andy has always been an antagonist to me. He's always been a thorn in my side, and I forsee that he will be for the future or what can be forseen of it. Hopefully he'll find a shining object to cast his gaze upon for a while and leave me and Jess alone.
The only two people that can keep me and Jess together are me and Jess, on the other end of the spectrum the only two people that can break Jess and I up are Jess and I. We've been through so much together so far. The last 10 months have been the most difficult of both of our lives, and I for one can say that I wouldn't have the slightest chance of living through them without my Jess. Jess is really all I've got in this world, but she's all I need. I can be having the absolute worst day, but still be the luckiest man in the world because I've got Jess's love...she, to me, is the most beautiful girl in the world. Inside and out. I'm her Sean, and my heart will always belong to her. I'll be back in a little bit, I think I'm going to call Jess..or atleast try to.
Current Mood: anxious, angry, anticipatory
Current Music: Tool-Part of Me (that's right folks, I'm OGT)
|Monday, June 2nd, 2003|
Hey, folks..it's ole' Sean again!
Anyway, there's good news coming up on the horizon. I'm going to be in Louisville for a couple of weeks (atleast) with Jess starting Monday. I need to be with her, I've gone insane without her. I miss her so much. I never thought that I would miss someone so bad that I would cry, but I was proven wrong. Just like I thought I would never fall in love, and never thought I'd be truly happy. Jess has changed that for me. She's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. Jess is all I've got, but that's alright...with her I've got everything I could ever want or need.
Today's been alright. It's been really busy though, I've been running errands all day for mom. I had to go return the phone that she messed up the other day, get a money order cashed, and get her cigarettes and lottery numbers. I'm bored, and have no movies to watch, so I think I might go down to the video store and get something to watch. Hopefully they'll have Bringing Out the Dead, I want to see that again. If they don't, I'll probably just watch blow or something again.
Anyway, I got a call earlier from John E. Davis. He bought the racetrack here at Corbin and saved it from certain doom, so to speak. Anyway, he wanted me to work there, he didn't give the position a name but it sounds a lot like promoter. I would be in charge of getting cars to come to the track, organizing the purse structure, and organizing races and race formats. I really don't want to do that, and told him that. Plus the pay really wasn't enough to justify that much work and to remain in this hole for another few months.
Last night after I got in from running all the errands I had to run yesterday, I got online and talked to Jess for a little bit and told her I would be with her next week. She seems excited, and I hope she is. I know I am. She was going to call when mom's sister paged. They talked for a while, and I was hoping to get some phone time with Jess about 2:40 am when someone hit a telephone pole out the road and knocked out electricity and phone service.....wow...what luck. Well I did hit three black cats yesterday on the way to Nigel's...but that story's for another time.
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Rosanne on TBS
|Saturday, May 31st, 2003|
Well, I never got to add to that very down trodden journal entry previous to this one. It's a good thing, I was messed up in the head then. To be honest, the plan was to take myself out in the Intrepid and leave a note telling everyone how I felt about them. But I straightened up. I'm ok now, just wishing I could be with Jess. She turned me around....again. I know she doesn't like it when I have thoughts like that, and I shouldn't have them at all. It's just mom's trying to keep me here, dad's pushing me to go away from everything including Jess, and I want to be with Jess. I love her, I really really love her. I'm always going to, and nothing could change that....NOTHING. I'm her Sean...no one else will ever have me. I'll never let anyone else have the power that she has over me. When I'm out there, she pulls me back in..and no one else could. How I feel, what I do, and what I think about all have to do with Jess, and how she makes me feel. I let her have it because she won't hurt me, and I know that. She's made me so happy for so long, I don't know what happened in my head this week. Unfortunately, I hadn't told Jess about the entry...in fact I told her I hadn't started my journal. Of course, she saw through me and found my journal....yes ladies and gentleman...utter it with me "oh shit, Sean made a rather dumbass move." She called me, was royally pissed..as she should have been. But it straightened me out, and I'm ok now. I'm actually smiling for a change, and thinking about how great it's going to be to hold Jess again. She's so beautiful, I have no earthly idea why she puts up with my crap. She could really do so much better, but apparently she fell in love with me by some freak accident that worked out in my favor for a change. Really, it's no accident. We're meant for eachother. I know it, I feel it, and when I can't talk to Jess I know there's a piece of me missing and I can't be me until I've got it back.
My mom, like Jess', decided to go nutzo on a large scale. I don't know where she is, but she's coming back Sunday...so I'll keep you all posted on the adventures of my crazy, senile, narcoleptic mother.
On another high note, my ACT scores finally were tracked down. This adventure lead to good ole' EKU with an application date of August 1...thank god. Anyway, I scored decently...would have liked a little higher but that's alright. I was expecting in the low 30's but got a 28, which is plenty enough for EKU. My GPA got shot up like a noisy Iraqi hidin' in a tumbleweed (sorry, had to insert one Rednecky phrase) due to my comprehensive and AP classes. I failed AP English, big bloody deal. I still graduated so I'm ok. Hey, Blurty..by the by..I lied..I'm not 18 Just yet....will be Sunday though, so if you're gonna suspend me for it, that would really suck...so let's just keep it a little secret, huh? My birthday's coming up....and I'm leaving soon....gonna be a man go be where I need to be...with my Jess. As soon as I can possibly get out of here. I'm gonna go now, I'm sleepy, and hungry...so I'm going to go eat my pillow.
Current Mood: sad/happy/great/depressed/mad
Current Music: System of a Down-Pictures
|Monday, May 26th, 2003|
I'm Sean. I just graduated from Corbin High School, here in the thriving metropolis of Corbin, Kentucky. Oh, 'tis a lovely time of year. The sweet aroma of the swelling sewers wafts up to one's nose and makes one aware of the wealths one experiences in such a quaint little place. The yelling of the inbred slack jawed yokels peppers the silence created by the lack of traffic, socializing, or any other hint of activity within the city limits of sweet Corbin. The horse fly lands in the middle of my road, feasting on the mighty bounty of the rabbit I ran over on my way into my driveway in the Intrepid. Ah yes, the Intrepid. The marvelous piece of American manufacturing...with a Japanese Power Train. 'Tis sneaking up on my birthday. Oh, how I look forward to the gifts and companionship that I won't be receiving.
I awoke today at the shining hour of 1:30 PM, and stepped out of bed directly on to a thumbtack which has left a little souvenier of the afternoon in my foot, via the form of a well developed wound that itches badly right now. I walked into the living room to find myself alone, just me and my mind again. I staggered over to the plaid couch that I despise and collapsed, only to find myself landing with the remote control somehow stood up laterally with the grander end sticking in my crotch. What a marvelous wake-up. I flipped over and turned on the TV. Ah, sports car racing. Lime Rock....I don't know where the hell that is. But the Trans-am series was racing there, so apparently the track is of fairly significant reknown. I was shocked to see that old, shaddow of his former self Paul Newman lowering himself into a car. That's right, he's 78, a sub par actor, and he's driving racecars on a national scale. That's alright, I'm in this abysmal paradise of Corbin Kentucky, where the sun's rarely seen and when it is, it's relentless...burning even the pakistani immigrants to a crisp in the midday assault.
I took a bath, a custom I had foresaken for a bit, seeing as to how I wasn't going to school. It felt nice until Michael called while I was washing my crotch. Apparently not a good day for Sean's crotch. Anyway, he wanted me to go to walmart with him later today. That was not to be however, I had a far more important engagement to keep for later today. You see, I lost my driver's license in July. I am still yet to regain my driving priveleges....so today was practice day #1 for the test Wendesday.
About 4, dad came by in the Intrepid. I entered and proceeded to drive to Williamsburg...I'll continue this in a moment, more important business must be attended to