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ladies and gentlemen... [21 Jan 2004|06:00am] COME SEE "OF WIDOWS AND VEGETABLES". IT'S EFFING AWESOME!! Fri. + Sat. 7 pm. $3 GA, $2 ... for other people. we're going to break so many fucking legs that... that... they'll run out of wheelchairs at the wheelchair shop!! post comment

Excuse me as I pick my jaw up off the floor. [13 Jan 2004|07:52pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | against me, in light of the occasion ] holy emeffing shizznit. yeah, so I stumble upon erin and harley talking in the hallway. what were they talking about? I'll tell you what they were talking about. They were talking about Against Me!, in Boston, monday after next. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AH! AH! AAAAH! ... yay. They shall be playing with Antiflag and Rise Against. Going to this will make my year. It will make my life. even more than DKM did. but can I go to it? hmmm... I'd have to have $15 for the ticket. And transportation would be some sort of carpool method. Which means either I have to be at some place at a certain time for being picked up...or someone has to come out here and get me. It's on the way, me thinks... oh yeah, it's on a school night. Here's what unfolded tonight at the dinner table. Mom: How're the grades coming? Me: Fine, I'm pulling a B in Chemistry. Mom: So you might make honor roll?? Me: If I keep it. Mom: Hooray! That's amazing! Me: Yeah. Fletcher: We'd have to do something special. Me: Like, say, let me go to a concert. Mom: If you could make honor roll, I'd even pay for it!! Even if it's on a school night!!! ...and then I passed out. she had poisoned my food you see. anyways. I will make honor roll, and I must see this concert. Huzzah! *crosses fingers so many times they hurt* post comment

Travis = 1, The World = 0. [12 Jan 2004|10:05pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | mr. t experience ] actually, the world has a few more up on me. But I'm catching up. Why? BECAUSE I FUCKING FINISHED MY GODDAMN EMERSON APPLICATION!!!!! BOOOOOOO FUCKIN' YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this feels eff'in great. Accepted or not, the responsibility is now out of my hands. Everything is up to chance now. Chance that the letter actually makes it there. Chance they like me and think I'd be a great asset to their college. Chance they accept me. Chance they send me a letter of acceptance. blah-dy blah-dy blah. I fucking applied. Next up: Sending those USM and UMO fuckers out there. no problemo. I'm thinking by the end of this week. Then some UNH. I was thinking Ithaca. Kurt visited there and told me it was excellent for film and was amazing. The priority date was March 1st, which es great too. Except, my guidance counselor says I should get it in by at least february. My mother doesn't even want me to apply, since A) applying costs money and she's already spending a lot. B) It's far away. and C) It's an 'expensive college'. I find all those reasons to be dumb. goddamn college. goddamn mothers. I've been swearing a lot in this entry...because I'm excited I guess. I've been substituting "fuck" with "eff" a lot in my vernacular. It's kind of funny and not very voluntary. At least my mother can't threaten to wash my mouth out with soap now. i heart drama post comment

[10 Jan 2004|08:46pm] It's weird when VH1 is on the tv, then I suddenly hear music I recognize on it, only as background music. filler music, inbetween dumb shows and countdowns and et cetera. I heard Ima Robot today, and Nada Surf. I don't even think these bands had a hit on the radio, (besides "Popular" by Nada Surf, but that was long ago). It was weird. They even played an old Fountains of Wayne song that was not Stacy's Mom. and that's interesting to me. I'm at my dads now. Last night there was a part-tay. sort of. After school Aaron and I went over to chris b's house to see my brother. they were all chillin' and bein' cool and shit. We were going to try and go see Big Fish later that night. So we decided to hang with them. Then we made plans for that night. We were to have a party at Ben Judkins house. His mom was out for the night. So it was Aaron and Travis's "party with the young'uns", since we're older than all of them, and they are rather immature and juvenile at times. But hey, aren't we all. It was Aaron, Myself, Fletcher, Ben Judkins, Chris Boutros and Special Guest appearance by Travis Brace. he's fun to hang out with. We say Paycheck instead of Big Fish. Kelsey Libby was there. I think she likes me, due to the holding of hands during the movie. Hold hands is very intimate, on a side note. almost more than other physical contact intimacies. maybe it's because of my fingers being 'different'. oh well. the movie sucked. don't waste your money unless there's specifically something you are looking for. we spent the night in Aaron's car. I loaded all of my blankets, plus three sleeping bags into the farthest back seat. aaron was in the normal back seat. ben in the front it was effing cold, but the blankets kept me toasty warm. ...I have a lot to say, but at the moment i'm really just not doing too much of anything and I'm sort of forcing it out. tired. idontneedsleep. goodnight. post comment

and this is why I hate you. [08 Jan 2004|07:41pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | paul simon and art garfunkel TAG TEAM S+G COMBO ATTACK!!! ] my Emerson application is dominating my life currently. Things are looking promising, which is good. But I'm still nervously frantic about it. Today it was ultra-cold and I was ultra-fancy. drama is going superswell. I'm having an awesome time. I pray we're ready for the show. kacy is pleased with Transatlanticism, which pleases me to no end, and makes me want to copy it a dozens times and give it out to everybody and fill their lives with joy. I love that album so much. It's going in Travis's Favorite Album Hall of Fame, next to the Blue Album by Weezer, and Dookie by Greenday, and Echoes, by Pink Floyd. do you want somebody to love!? oh, do you need somebody to love? and if you want somebody to love, then you'd better ... find somebody to love. yawn. I'm hungry for your face post comment

time for some self-acclaimed venting. [07 Jan 2004|05:49pm] I need to bitch about something. This is for my benefit only, and I'd hate for you to get the wrong impression about things, so I recommend not reading this. you can if you'd like though. my fingers are just itching to get this out. Aaron has really been starting to piss me off lately. ...you know what. no. I will not vent about this. I don't need to type out all my feelings and bitterness just to feel better. there are better ways. post comment

thievery [07 Jan 2004|05:29pm] [ mood | mischievous ] [ music | DCfC ] I stole this from shelly, who instructed me not to. I'm such a trouble maker. a really really bored troublemaker. You probably won't read all of this anyways. You probably don't read this journal anyways. So Shelly may never figure out I stole it. score. [Full Name] Travis Harold Curran [Any nicknames?] just about anything with "trav" preceding it. kacy has dozens. [Age] 17. [Place of birth] Portland, ME [Place you live now] Waterford [Number of times you've moved] 8. I've only changed schools 3 times though. [Place you wish you lived] Boston. [Favorite movies] The Graduate, American Beauty, Fight Club, Braveheart, Memento, Donnie Darko, Edward Scissorhands, The Matrix Trilogy, The Family Man, Office Space, the list goes on....... [Favorite bands] Pink Floyd, Weezer, Nada Surf, DCfC, Against Me!, Our Lady Peace, Radiohead, Barenaked Ladies, Godspeed You Black Emperor, yadda yaddda yadda. ...and Brackett and the Drill Bits. [How many concerts have you been to?] about 4 at the State Theater, and plenty small local ones about the area. [Top 5 bands you've seen live] 1. Dropkick Murphies. 2. Barenaked Ladies. 3. Our Lady Peace. 4. Saves the Day. 5. Guster. [What bands you want to see] Against Me!, Nada Surf, Weezer, and the Dropkick Murphies...again...they were that good. [Car you want to drive] any. [Car you do drive] My mother's new Saturn, which I don't drive well. My dad's automatic Jeep Grand Cherokee is allright. But MY 1987 Mercury Tracer is far cooler than the other two. [Go to school?] Not on weekends [Have a significant other?] What do you mean, 'significant'? [If so, for how long?] ...N/A [Older or younger] N/A [How'd you meet] N/A [Have a future together?] N/A.... [Crushes on anyone?] You could call it that [Number of ex's] 1. [Still like any of your ex's?] I wouldn't mind never seeing them again. (not including family,dork) [How many girls have you kissed?] about three total. [How many boys have you kissed?] none thusfar [How many close female friends] I can't judge that sort of thing...a number under 10. [How many close guy friends] I have a whole bunch. [Favorite physical attribute] My hair. it's the only thing I can ever feel vain about. [Least favorite?] My fingers. [Think you are funny?] funny-looking. [Think you're nice?] I think I am. Others may disagree. [Any siblings?] there's Fletcher. [Are you the oldest or youngest?] Oldest. [Live with parents?] Just one, plus a step-dad-to-be [Future plans] I'll worry about it when it happen post comment

that deaf, dumb anf blind kid sure plays a mean pinball [06 Jan 2004|05:25pm] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | The Who ] yesterday goodness: school started again. there was no delay or cancellation. Morrell's class was boring. Advanced Communications was eventful. I printed out my college essay for usm/umo. I also burned a DVD containing sample work of all of my projects I've done. Some neat stuff, the DVD was flawed in one part though. I listened to lots of music. I then did some acting for Will Makley's movie. It'll be a hit. everyone should see it. Since every good movie should star myself and elliot. Then we had drama. We read through it. I realized that I don't quite like The Captain very much. I have fun being him and playing that and everything, but if I met him, I'd avoid the guy. We acted very silly, impersonating different characters and how they move. The Captain is a bit like a rooster. very arrogant and presitigous. yes. Pantalone (elliot) is really funny too. Much crotch-protusion. On break I went to get food with elliot and kacy. on the way back, Kacy apologized a lot for how she acted saturday. It made me feel much better. and less hated. When we got back from break, we got to beat each other up. in a good way. it involved slapping. and miming. I also gave her her christmas present. When drama ended, I was happy to see Aaron still at school. He gave me a ride home, but also gave the horde of younger kids too. The car was jampacked. Aaron and I had to sit with fletcher's ex-girlfriend mim between us. It wasn't very cool. It was uncomfortable. Luckily, most of them got out at ben's house. then it was just fletch and sarah lowe left over for the trip to waterford. Someone had the great idea to play pididle. In the fashion where you remove clothing upon losing. Yes. Strip pididle. And I lost twice. So Shirtless Travis made an appearance for the ride home. Offspring "The Kids Ain't Right" came on the radio. It was cool. I got home and watched Edward Scissorhands + Tim Burton's commentary. He was pretty boring and didn't have much to say. I them made the executive decision to become a huge Tim Burton fan and try to collect his movies. After I see his new movie, Big Fish, on friday. Everyone go see it. Go see it with me. I like company. And good movies. Then the night ended. am I boring you??? today's goodness: I had French 5 AP first period today. Everyone came in to find paper bags in their spots with their names on them. Also reading "Merry Belated Christmas. Love, Travis". I had gotten presents for everybody. Most of them were just stuff in my room that I thought matched them. Jenna got a purple pimp hat. Ellie got a tiny furry monkey doll. Janaya got a tall Chihuahua doll with a mexican get-up. Sofie got a piggy bank made from a clay pot. Kyle got tinker toys. and Winter got a straw cowboy hat. It made all of their days. and made me feel joyfilled and loved and beneficial. At study hall I tried doing my chemistry but decided to instead pass it in late for the ninety once I knew how to do it. I forgot my locker combination and felt like a dumbass. The office told me what it was, then called me a dumbass. I was a dumbass. I caught wind of a R4AC meeting afterschool, so I stayed after, but NOPE. none. cancelled. So Elliot, Will and I gavolled around the school, eating free food and chatting with other gentlemen during brunch and flirting with young ladies in the park, and sitting back, drinking tea, and basking in how prestigious and wealthy we were. only not. We did go into a park with ladies though. We went down to the woods so erin could take pictures. kaitlynn was there. Erin wanted a shot of two people walking down the nicely framed path, so Elliot and I held hands and did. It was silly. I then tried climbing a hill but the branch I was relying on broke and sent me tumbling into snow and pricker bushes. My hands get unbelievably cold, and I got elliot's hat dirty trying to warm them. We then went back inside and talked to more people until they left. Aaron gave me another ride home after dropping the little ones off at day-care. I shouldn't be so condescending to them. they never did anything mean to me. well, a few of them did. that counts. And now here I am wondering how I will do all that work tomorrow. and anticipating drama. Two Great Stories!!! not really. I bet you skimmed through it and skipped the boring parts. assholes. leave me alone. juuuuuuuust kidddddddding. post comment

I'm tireed, it's late and I'm thinking too much. [04 Jan 2004|09:13pm] [ mood | discontent ] [ music | my own disaster, taking back sunday ] I week back I bought a book off of Hank Burn's recommendation to me. It's called "The Introvert Advantage", and it's lovely. for anyone that thinks they are introverted in any aspect, get this book. It helped me a bunch, in a good way, not the dumb self-help book kind of way. It really is good to feel like there is not something inertly wrong with you. That you are just a certain way and it can't be helped (without much stress). It's tough to get into, but reading the book provided me with several "Ah ha! That's me!" moments. Just in the nature of how you act and react to things. Unfortunately, it's like Peter Pan. The kid is subject to countless joys that other kids can't even comprehend, like flying and fighting pirates and fairies and such, yet he is still completely barred from others that the other kids can partake in, like family and love. We can all be as complex and riddlesome, barred from some things but not others, as Peter Pan. Except we grow up. introverts are outnumbered three to one by extroverts. our world is accustomed to extroverts and encourages extrovert behavior. it's really a great book. until the second half. It gets into "the dating world" for introverts and extroverts and how it all works. unfortunately, it's in the context of a middle-aged introverted women who has just discovered herself, rather than a lonely and bitter male teenager in high school who stays up till ungodly hours of the night thinking things over like this and writing out these long intricate hypothesis on them in his journal (not this one) and in the end not really having made any real point at all and is duped into thinking he has somehow bettered himself from it. time for bed. definitely. goodnight. and goodbye, my dear sweet vacation post comment

goddamnit [04 Jan 2004|05:04pm] [ mood | discontent ] [ music | reinventing axl rose ] last night I got to go to the show at the legion hall. I got to see all my cool scene friends talking to all their cool scene friends and do their cool scene thing. yeah. sortof. I had my tight black pullover hoodie from christmas. I felt like I fit in. almost. well, I fucked up right off the bat. I nudged kacy with my foot to talk to her and she got mad at me. she didn't talk to me the rest of the night. It sucked. I suck. I felt terrible. I'm too damn foolish sometimes. and now I'm hated. The show was pretty exciting. Some cool bands I'd never heard before, such as Burns Out Bright and The Oval Portrait. Every Forty Seconds was very good and a lot better than the last time I saw them. The bassist from By Misadventure had an "Against Me!" t-shirt on. It made me glad and I started singing their songs to myself instead of listening to the band. who was very good, so I should've paid more attention. Eating Alone made my night. They are quality. quality and goodness. Gaining Ground was a bit of a dissapointment. I was expecting much more than the continuous wall-of-sound nonstop noise, getting kicked a lot by bently, and songs so short that their ending just snuck up on you and you weren't sure if you liked it or not (since there was no distinguishing it from the rest of them). It was funny to watch them all dance though. Bryan Giasson bothers me. and then I walked home. and got hit by a car. and Travis died. no. Becky gave me a ride to ben judkin's house, where fletcher, ben, chris and freshmen travis were spending the night as well. I stayed up with them a bit. freshmen travis is far too good at videogames. Then we all decided that Braceface had not seen American Beauty and should. I did not feel like it, since I've seen it a dozen times over. I wanted to watch Edward Scissorhands. But we watched American Beauty. Travis really liked it. He made dumb comments throughout the bare-breasted scenes. bah. then he wouldn't go to sleep when we wanted to and irritated us. but I came home the next day. today. ben let me borrow Edward Scissorhands. and I watched it with Aaron. I want there to be school tomorrow. I want things to be normal again. sort of. "all children grow up, except one" -pp post comment

[02 Jan 2004|03:11pm] [ mood | nervous ] I'm finishing up my essays today. I need to write the major application essay for Emerson and then I'm done. Then I'm going to go see what Seth is up to. Seth is this huge burly guy that'd been my friend for a good nine years now. He lives in LA. Awesome guy. I'd like to spend time with all of y'all (y'all = my friends that read this). I miss you guys and reading all your journals (minus kacy's) makes me feel left-out-ed. It's snowing a lot. I saw Peter Pan last night. It was great. I loved the feeling it gave me. It made me think I could fly , metaphorically. It made me think nothing was impossible and I've being stupid for letting the tiniest obstacles get in my way and if I want something I could raise a sword in the air, stand tall and set out for it. I can be brave. I can be dashing. I can prevail through tragedies and troubled times. I can be a hero, not a zero. I can make the grade, I can get the girl, and I can save the day. this is why I love movies. Making the grade, getting the girl, and saving the day is a bit more complicated once I get home and return to reality. Wouldn't it just be nice though? If I could suck in my gut, take the punches, and work my ass off to do the best I can and get into Emerson? If I could walk up to her door, explain exactly (and articulately) exactly how I felt including all the splendors of love and happiness, wisk her off her feet, and ride into the sunset and paradise, away from all problems, perils and sorrows. (metaphorically, again.) If I could find a huge problem threatening us all and discover the way to prevent it, then have the strength and courage to take action and do so, and have everyone be thankful I exist. Then I can give a speech at graduation. that'd be nice too. yawn. I have only my dreams and desires to keep me warm. watch me unravel I'll soon be naked lying on the floor, lying on the foor, I've come undone post comment

[02 Jan 2004|02:58pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | weez-AH ] sooooooooo Big Dumb Trav Face is now one step closer to graduating. since it's the year I graduate and all. and I'm almost complete all my essays woot. I'm feeling especially big and dumb and face at the moment. Vacation's been pretty boring. Aaron's return was good though, since I got to finally get the hell out of my house. Here's how my new years panned out. There was a party going on at the Strauss's (campwgiwam) so aaron and I went to the Shiffman's (nearby house) to see all the counselors that had come up to visit. We saw them all. We saw our buddies. hooray. They were drinking a bit, but nothing serious. We eventually stopped paying attention to the dumb ones when our friend Amy showed up and a friend of her's named Jen. We talked with them and Seth and Posner a bit. Then went to the party at the strauss's. All of the A-Dults were there. I said hi to everyone. There was good food. The counselors played poker. Preston was there too. We took preston and amy-jen to my house to pick up aaron's camera and stopped by a playground on the way back. then we went back. then we hung around till amy-jen left around 11:00. Then we decided to see what fletcher was up too over at Monet's party. so we left. then we realized we were in a rush because it would be the new year at any moment. we drove fast. and saw three cops. they did not like us. but we did not get pulled over. we arrived at monet's in time to see the ball drop. everyone kissed someone. I gave kaitlynn a huge smooch on the cheek. The party was pretty lame, not because all my brother's friends are dumb, but because there were three couples that were digging into some PDA. MY brother being one of them. yuck. seeing couples all happy like that really sets me into a bad mood. mostly since I can almost never find anyone to be that happy with. (not the PDA, the relationship. dirty-mind-head.) Kaitlynn tried to drill me for information on the mystery person who likes her, but I revealed nothing. Here's why if I told her, and she did not like that person, every moment she spent around him from then on would be awkward. And he would not even had to have admitted it to her. the awkwardness and rejection would just jump on him without warning or him having done anything. It would be the absolute worst thing I could do to someone. so I did not. Never. bah. we returned to the shiffman's to see how they all were. Aaron was being all moody and reflective because he's in love. and it's unrequitted. I could totally relate to him, but I did not want to share the depression. so I tried cheering him up to no avail. we got back to the shiffman's to find everyone tired and drunk. We missed out on the party-drinking. Which is good. it got boring so we went home and fell asleep. I graduate this year. College or not, I'm done with highschool. post comment

a sense of relief [29 Dec 2003|12:54am] [ mood | mellow ] [ music | DCfC ] well, I finally did something besides spend all day home today. Oh wait...I did stay home all day. But I had social contact besides the Internet. yay. Brain, my old Lake Region buddy, came over. Fletcher came home and brought Chris B. with him. We had a fun time. Watched American History X. (btw: That movie is extremely powerful and may possibly change your life.) Watched a few episodes of Family Guy (funniest cartoon ever.) Had pizza, now we're all sitting the sack. Naturally, I'm last awake. this week may turn out to be good. better than these hellish past few days. Tomorrow I'll probably be chilling with these guys, maybe spend the night at Chris's. THe next day Aaron gets back, and we'll hang out the whole day, then go to the New Years party at Wigwam, or ditch it for something more eventful. The following days are in the clear. There may be a possible hanging out with a vehicularly-challenged Kacy, if she's up to it. Or just more hanging out with fletcher and his sophomore buddies (that's all Aaron every does these days anyways, so I'll just tag along.) This weekend appears free...from a distance. Who knows what'll come up. Then school....blah. I'll be relieved to have some routine though. I need drama rehearsal. this is when I forget to breathe 1 comment|post comment

[27 Dec 2003|10:53pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | nothing really. i need batteries ] ... ... *crickets chirping* it's late and I'm still awake. ... everyone's over at shelly's. but I have chocolate. I really want to watch American History X with somebody. It's over on my coffeetable. I don't want to watch it with Job and mom. fletcher's a stupid kid, for being stupid. he's at chris's right now, with all the stupid kids, because he's a stupid kid. what stupidity that stupid kid has. ....stupid kid. Nest time I see him, I'll tell him he's a stupid kid. But then he'll ask me why and I don't have an answer for that. For dating Mim should be enough. But that was more like her being dumb. she's a stupid kid to. I was glad kacy spinkicked her. what stupid kid she is. ... stupid kids. man, fletcher, what a stupid kid. yawn. I need to pick myself up. I'm unshaven, my hair hasn't been washed in a good week or so, my face has been breaking out some, the skin around my eyes has turned a funny dark color. I've been sleeping plenty though...but I hear that can do that too. I look pretty scraggly. and grizzled. I'm full of energy , and can't sleep. But sleep in really really late. I hope there's something fun to do tomorrow post comment

bounce. [27 Dec 2003|08:04pm] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | Against Me! ] yeah. I'm back from dads. there's a nice big jolly ole week to do stuff in. and let's all face it, I'm lonely. I haven't seen any of my friends in a long time, and my house is beginning to look more and more like a jail cell each and every day. So I whine about it. not really... My mother did get mad at me once, demanding I do something, asking where my friends were. I told her I didn't know. Which is untrue. I really really really really really really really wish I could drive right about now. But thinking like that makes me think I'm a big loser. Which is pathetic. Other people should think I'm a big loser, not me. I wish there were a mood-face for pathetic. That's what mine would be. pathetic and self-loathing. can anybody tell me why god won't speak to me? why jesus never called on me to part the fucking seas. why death is easier than living. you can be almost anything when you're on your fucking knees. not today. not my son. not my family. not while walking is still honest and you haven't given up on me. - Against Me! yeah, I was rediscovering Reinventing Axl Rose today. such goodness. I should really call somebody and make plans...but the telephone scares me I guess. I'm dumb. I need social contact like I need heroin. and boy, do I need heroin. Here's some happy news. The mp3/CD player my mother got turns out to be amazing. For those of you that don't know quite how it works, I'll explain it. Yeah, I'm bored. Really bored. I'm sure you all know how it works. But anyways. Normal CDs that we all buy and listen to have the song recorded onto them in ".wav" files. When you burn a CD, you copy these .wav files onto your computer. Now when you download a song off the Internet, you download a ".mp3" file, which is small, easy to send, and easy to read. Unfortunately, CD players cannot read this, so you have to turn them into ".wav" files if you want to burn them onto a CD-R. Since .mp3 files are so small, you can fit a whole lot of them onto a CD, which is useful for transferring data and stuff. What my neato mp3/CD player does is it can decipher mp3 files like a computer does and reads them. Now Kurt Krohne gave me a CD a long time ago with a bunch of his music from his computer in Advanced Communications. I forget the reasons why he gave it to me, but he did. It was sort of pointless, since I could listen to all of music whenever I want to (as long as his computer's on the network). But I have it. Anyways, the CD had a bunch of mp3 files all in folders of the artist and albums. I popped it into my new mp3/CD player, and BOOM, I have 200-something songs to listen to....on one CD. Boo-ya. There are about two The Used albums on there, blech. But there's also Sing the Sorrow, A.F.I., Incubus's Make Yourself and Morning Views, an Anti-Flag ablum, a Living End album, some band called Soul Cough'in. A band called the Toasters. and the Diabolotones. and the two-CD compilation of the Warped Tour 2003. That has some good songs on it. Like a good Less Than Jake one. and that really sad sappy TBS one, My Own Disaster. and a cool band called Western Waste. I've tired myself out. at least Aaron's online. I'm talking to him. post comment

nothing short of anything [26 Dec 2003|08:10pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | fountains of wayne. (NOT Stacy's Mom. NOT. NO NO NO) ] well, I'm back from my dads. Christmas is over and the rest of vacation has begun. And sometime between now and school the year will end and another will start. Stupid calendars. Stupid 2004. Who am I kidding. I'll love 2004. Even if I don't get into college, I get to rid myself of school, and go back to CW for seven weeks. What glory. What madness. What fun. I sure hope to get into college. I've got major work to be doing on my Emerson app. if I hope to make it there. Resumé of my extracurricular activities? three written statements/essays? Sample of my creative work? Sheesh. I thought I'd have trouble getting my recommendations in on time. I can handle it. But can I handle doing that while also applying to USM/UMO? Yes. Yes I can. positive reinforcement. On a random side note, isn't jealousy just about the dumbest emotion to ever be felt by anybody? There is almost no benefits to it at all. I guess it's just there to balance some other good and nice emotion. like the love/hate balance thingermajigger... Ha. Love. There's something to be said about it, but I'm not going to right now. Incidentally, I heard the phrase "The things you want to say the most are the hardest to say" today. Not sure it applies now. Maybe. Unsure. well, if anybody has any planned get togethers or parties or any other sort of neat fun social things, there's a lonely introvert craving some friendship out here who's up for anything. I want to watch American History X with somebody. Aaron gets back the 29th. Hurray. Well, time to get offline, I've been on way too much lately. It's time for me to sit down and seriously think about a movie or book that has influenced my life. Why, and how? Anyone have any ideas post comment

i'd much rather have my feet wrapped in small white cotton rabbits [25 Dec 2003|07:01pm] [ mood | thankful ] [ music | bachy bach bach ] I'm awesome, and write entries on my online journal on the same day christ was born. In speaking of ol' J.C., I got my mother a Dashboard Jesus for christmas. He's on the dash right now. It's ridiculously silly. And she's embarassed by it, but she doesn't want to offend me, so she's keeping it there. =P I also got her an aromatherapy candle, and the Nirvana Greatest Hits CD. Here's out I banked out for Xmas: -The Who Millenium Edition Album. -a collection of Bach works. -a harmonica. -a CD/mp3 player. -the Dune trilogy -a lot of fancy dress shirts -candy -a lottery ticket -a drawing pad w/ pens -a sweatshirt Here's what I got people: Fletcher - a ps2 game he wanted, a movie he didn't, and a CD he didn't. Hilarious results Mom - already listed that Dad - The Road to Perdition DVD + cool old cigar box Job - American History X DVD and I'm tired. so I will not be writing more. Hope the holidays were nice for you all. It's now time for a completely empty weekend (in which I will contemplate college applications) and a horrendously empty week. I have a New Years thing to do, but other than that vacation shall be empty, cold and desolate. like the weather. in your ass. that wasn't necessary, I apologize. later. 2 comments|post comment

[25 Dec 2003|02:28pm] crazy christmas glory. Merry Christmas everyone. post comment

t'was the night before SHUT THE FUCK UP [24 Dec 2003|11:21pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | Behind Blue Eyes, by the Who ] I slept till two this morning. I physically got out of bed at four. And that's only because Fletcher woke me. I'm not sure how long I could've stayed if he hadn't. I was so damn comfortable...sigh. I ate a bit. We all opened our traditional one present. I got The Who Millenium Edition Greatest Hits Blah from Job. He wrote "The Devil" on the "From:" part of the card. The Who is great. Then we all ate dinner. Played Yahtzee. Then I went upstairs and watched fletcher play video games, then watched some tv, and now here I am. It has been my laziest day ever. and everyone seems pretty bent out of shape. Well, whether you're having one or not, I wish you all a Merry Christmas, you strange invisible readers you post comment

hmpf. [21 Dec 2003|09:05pm] [ mood | cold ] [ music | nadasurfin' ] everybody runs away to livejournal. It's rather cold and lonely here. our little christmas family get together resulted in lots of dress shirts and a desk lamp, "for college". I got a pair of gloves too. This year is going to be a bit like hanukah, in that I'm opening my gifts a little bit inbetween now and christmas day. don't ask me, it;s my mother's idea. I know I have / got a negative edge / thats why I sharpen all the others a lot / it's like flowers / or lady bugs / pretty weeds or red beetles with dots. In the middle of the night / I worry I worry even though there's not light In the middle of the night / I worry ...I miss you more than I knew... -- The Blizzard of '77, by Nada Surf post comment

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