| my aunty, the tai tai |
[24 Dec 2008|01:40pm] |
my aunty called and asked my mum to get me ready for lobster lunch in an hour's time.
that's quite typical of my aunt, who usually fires a call at short notice and expects things going.
she was the same aunt who took care of me a lot when i was a little round-headed kid – i always stayed at her mansion. inevitably, she is the same aunt who taught me quite some important values. in some ways, without saying so, she has always treated me like another son.
as i grew older, i realised that she belongs to the original generation of the tai-tai in singapore. cheong sams, exquisite oriental furnitures, dim sum, lots of mahjong, lots of leisure time, country clubs, new cars, feasts, etc – you name it, i witnessed it all whilst under her care.
however, she was different from the modern tai-tai, who seem to have no sense of dignity.
she had a drive and she was authoritative with my cousins. she doesn't believe in slacking at all. as a result, all three of my cousins are now doing well in the banking industry.
yes, one of them cousins is the same one who introduced me to british music in the early 80's.
i had never seen anybody 'step' on her before either. anybody who tries would probably get a sharp reprimanding, one that makes you feel like a very worthless piece of shit. haha.
back then, whenever my aunt catches my cousins fooling around when they should be serious, she would deliver a massive verbal lashing and make them squirm like morning worms. even now, i can still recall the looming echos of her voice bounce off the tall, big walls. haha.
my aunt has an incredibly shrewd sense of logic too, and she seems to balance that perfectly against emotions. she has always been passionate enough to voice her opinions, but yet level-headed enough to hold her emotions back to re-evaluate what's coming.
one thing she also showed me was perfect extravagance. if extravagance ever looked like it makes sense, she was one who could do it. i had almost never seen anybody else exude that same sense of extravagance so far, i believe.
she taught me the meaning of money. she also showed me what is really wealth, and what is not. no sum is too small, and no sum is too large. until today, i still practise what i had learnt from her and her experience, regardless of what people may feel about me. most don't get it, but some do. and whatever it is, it's pointless preaching to those who don't.
on that last point, i witnessed her exercising it just now. very effectively too. haha.
on the day i was to depart for london, she drove over to pick me and my family up and saw me off at the departure hall. she played a big part in getting me to the uk too, and as such, i feel grateful for her care even more than ever.
so it's only apt that she was the second 'aunty' to bring me out for a meal soon after my return. haha. the first one was actually karin's mum, who brought me for dinner on my first proper day back.
funny how much of my aunt still remained the same when i saw her today.
physically, she has obviously aged a lot and she is more relaxed with her dressing.
she has become a grandmother too over the past several years.
other than that, i still see the same old aunt.
she came over in a new car, and i can safely say her driving skills are still pretty lousy.
occasionally, i had no choice but to calmly tell her to watch out for this and that. it is no joke when you are in the front passenger seat next to her – you just know you have a job to do. haha.
getting into the entrance of a multi-storey car park, she got too close to a low wall around the turn, and i heard some scraping going on against the back door. i couldn't resist giggling, because i then remembered how she would often do things like that when i travelled in her car as a little kid.
the cousin who introduced me to british music is similar when it comes to driving. she would turn and look at me with a shocked face whenever she thought she hit something. i also remember whenever she crashed, she'd always get an epic scolding from my aunt. how ironic. till today, they still always mock each other's driving. hahaha.
after the scraping against the wall, my aunt mumbled the cantonese equivalent of "fucker" and just continued her way into the car park. and as usual, she didn't check the car at all after she parked it, and we just headed off for lunch.
"that's big aunt," i thought to myself with deep nostalgia.
i kept rather quiet the whole time, mainly because i wanted to listen to her chat to my mum than being the centre of attention. i revelled in that. she did make me the topic for a while, but after she got satisfactory answers from me, she moved on.
so we had lunch, and she drove us back.
as we neared our place, she said in cantonese, "have a good party tonight."
funnily, she kept "party" in english, hongkonger-style.
yet, i never once mentioned anything about partying to her and my mum.
that's big aunt.
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