Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in Snow Lazarus' Blurty:

Wednesday, August 10th, 2005
11:24 am	A -> I [You've got me writing again.] Tap, tap, tap. The pen sequenced with me brain, The rhythm that could be us. Yes, us moving. Moving together and stroking and sweeping and creating and shaking and discovering and crawling and crying and kneeding and rising. We are a cliché. [We are] Rising from the ashes and dusting our phoenix eyes clear of our lusty dream's debris Current Mood: complacent Current Music: Idlewild | "American English" (Kiss me?)
Monday, August 1st, 2005
8:34 pm	Oh, I love your hands. You are an artisan, a creator, a perfect example of eroticism in its simplest form. "I want to moan and writhe with you." Every time I see you, I just want to touch you. "Somewhere, anywhere." I want to put each delicately graceful finger in my mouth and lick it clean of your sorrow, your lost cause, your fight, your neurosis. Current Mood: predatory Current Music: VAST | "Pretty When You Cry" (Kiss me?)
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2005
11:58 am	I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you. I can hardly see this page anymore. “I want you.” It repeats over and over in my head all day, and repeatedly I push it far, far away, into the crevice of my sex and ignore it like all those episodes of lust and desire I wake up to and ignore as well. And as I’m shaking it comes out, flying forth from between my lips like a repressed incantation. It echoes. “…you, you, you…” All around me. This is torture. Current Mood: distressed Current Music: Songs:Ohia | "Didn't It Rain?" (Kiss me?)
Thursday, October 30th, 2003
12:04 pm	It's Not in the Eyes Ask anyone: My hands are always cold. His hands are eternally warm. Within 10 seconds of wrapping his smooth skin over mine, I thaw out. I think it’s his soul. Current Mood: peaceful Current Music: Björk | "Unravel" (Kiss me?)
12:01 pm	Sometimes I see a million rainbows in my hair. If the sun’s hitting it just right, all the colors of the kaleidoscope reach out their gnarled fingers, grab me, and pull me in. It makes me want to cry out—and sometimes I do—“Won’t somebody love me!?” Current Mood: sad Current Music: Placebo | "Burger Queen" (Kiss me?)
Saturday, October 25th, 2003
11:59 am	While She Drives She could read fast: she ate books, one right after the next. She never made any comments, just read. Maybe she was trying to be trendy, hiding behind white and black sunglasses in Barnes and Noble, big stacks and big bills abounding. It doesn’t matter anymore—she’s dead, as far as this is concerned. Current Mood: artistic Current Music: VAST | "Senorita" (Kiss me?)
Wednesday, October 15th, 2003
8:30 pm	I made you a perfect black and white photography. I could have been picture perfect if only I'd had you and your camera beside me. Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: Radiohead | "Let Down" [I just got out of my car.] (Kiss me?)
Thursday, October 9th, 2003
8:47 pm	Haikus. The following are a few haikus from my [vast] collection of them. I have selected the ones that relate to you, even in the slightest. Jònsi Nimble fingers clutch a bow that skips to create an electric god. On Film An open mouth of shrill emotional distress sings my heart and breaks. Unexpected Sentiment After all that time And lipgloss, I finally get a kiss I want. True. I know who you are. I know the shape you take when you lie down to sleep. Nine-thirty-oh-one So I hugged you a bit too hard this time but I’m not as desperate now. ---------------------------------- |[v.2 (of the above)] | |So I hugged you a | |bit too hard this time but at | | least I’m not desperate. | ---------------------------------- Recovery --> Recovery? --> Layers I’ve started wearing makeup with color in it. Let the makeup lie. Pajama Party So you found me out— I’m eating crumbs from your hands and licking your warmth. Present I told you your hands were so warm again and you smiled at my heart. The Sum He bent over the cluttered page and wrote clichés, pretending to cry. TRIBUTE Hands touch soft and take the chill from my spine and melt my shield of ice tears. Section X I didn’t even kiss him back. I wonder if he knows I love him? The Drama Monday Scratch your balls a bit— “Wow, my son really is straight!” It’s just that easy. Will 1,2,3 You’re not that funny. In fact, I’m going to throw up blood on your shoes. Ode I’m addicted to haikus. They get easier as I go along. French Woodsman It’s not that I don’t care; it’s that I don’t feel the need to make you whole. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- All the haikus before v.2 of Nine-thirty-oh-three were being subjected to my computer's bastardized formatting. They're supposed to look like the ones after the aforementioned haiku. This better save. Current Mood: horny Current Music: Björk | "Unravel" (Kiss me?)
Monday, September 8th, 2003
8:47 pm	Scientific Preservation. An uncapped pen is sitting before me on my desk. You were here. I try to guard it, keep it sacred and virginally untouched, placed just the way you left it. But I accidentally knock it forward, clumsy even when I'm trying my hardest not to mess it, mess everything up. And even when I try put it back precisely, it's still not in the right place, kind of like my heart... Current Mood: sad Current Music: The Starting Line | "Cheek to Cheek" (Kiss me?)
Monday, August 25th, 2003
10:16 pm	The Shortest Love Song? Do you ever close your eyes when you hug me and pathetically wish over and over as hard as you can that the V of my neck where you pressed your face was the curve of my lips? Nay! I pray you. Love me for me and not for my presence. Current Mood: discontent Current Music: Savage Garden | "Tears of Pearls" (Kiss me?)
Tuesday, August 12th, 2003
11:44 am	I roll over. I'm still fucking awake. Awake and dreaming? I'm thinking about art [your hands] and gazing at my fucked stereo. Mr. Oberst is singing my thoughts. ["And if you close yours eyes we will always be the way we were that night you crawled inside me. And you slept in my blood the way you sleep now...An outline of the one you loved in a life that was that no longer will be stands above you as you sleep."] Did he mention sleep? "Well, ha ha ha." Wrong god damn song. I roll over again. I bury my head in my pillow and imagine burying myself in you and getting lost. Imagine. God, I'm hallucinating. Mr. Oberst, no. Go bhfóire dia orm. Your eyelashes caught the light that I had just flicked on. They were so long, so thick that I was afraid to exhale and make you blink. You were absolutely glowing. I remember you standing beside me on Main, traffic whizzing by and the red hand glowing. I tell you to pull a "New York" with me but you grab me and keep me safe. The heat from your hand shot up my arm and made my heart ache. Current Mood: drained Current Music: Assemblage 23 | "Lullaby" (Kiss me?)