"i wish i could be all that you mean to me. and when i fall asleep you're all that i see"   
10:42am 16/07/2003
 
mood: cheerful
music: "angel without wings" the movie life
Jesus! (excuse me God) Frances will not stop calling me. she has called me 4 times already and its not even lunch time. does she not have a life? shes on vacation in ohio with her mom for the summer. i didn't think that she was going to call me everyday from her cell. i'm going to stop answering the phone.

to everyone who calls me today: if you want to call me, don't, unless you're bert. if you call and you're not robert than im not answering the tele. email me! its easier and cheaper. i think.

anyways, i hung out with bert, shelby, dustin, and lynn yesterday. bert's family, well a small portion of them. bert got some caivities filled. poor thing. we went to Golden Coral (i guess thats how you spell it im not regular customer like bert) and Chucky Cheese ("WHERE A KID CAN BE A KID"). good times good times. then we went to lynn's mom and step-dad's house and went swimming in the dark. i had fun and bert knows why. but unfortunately i have mosquito bites all over. they itch like mad crazy. oh oh oh!!!!! guess what!? bert is starting to use my frase "like mad crazy" now. he said it yesterday when we were sitting in the parking lot of walmart waiting for lynn. he was like "man my jaw is starting to hurt 'like mad crazy'" i didnt say anything.
we slept together on the way to wally world and home. it was nice. (NO ITWASNT THE SEXUAL KIND OF SLEEP TOGETHER)
im very chipper today, trying to forget about the mosquito bites. my day is going to consist of: cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming the couch,vacuuming my room, finishing my new poem for bert monster, possibly laying outside and freshing up my tan since it doesnt look like im going to the beach with bert until next week, reading and highlighting words in the dictionary (to niki: its not the kids dictionary like i was using th other night), taking a shower, and finishing "milkrun". not very eventful, no drama. ("no more drama in my life, no, no, no, no more drama in my life")
well i guess if im going to finish all my tasks for the day i need to start on them.lates.
"i'd stop the world and melt with you!!"		  
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"im sinky fast into an ocean full of you"   
02:32pm 16/07/2003
 
mood: dorky
music: "sweet zoe jane" :staind
well my day isnt liked i planned. im not laying outside because i went to go lay out and sepped on a bee and my foot swelled. i cleaned the kitchen the livining and my room. nathan called me. big dummy. wanted to know if i wanted if i could help him clean out his garage. YEAH RIGHT I M NOT STUPID! talked to travis. he's looking for a stupid girl to lay. im talking to eric now. we're okay now but im not getting close with him like i did before i dont want anything to get said. he's such a dork. but he's ok i guess.

i didnt finish my poem its turning out longer than i expected. i havent started reading yet. right now im belting out to some christina aguilera. im bored. (joke: when christina aguilera turns 60 she'll be called christina hasnohaira... haha)
welp im off to finish belting out and maybe find some episom salt to soak my foot in. lates.


will he be the one i wake up to every morning?		  
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04:30pm 16/07/2003
 
mood: hopeful
music: "so far away":staind
these are my words that i've never said before i think i'm doing okay and this is the smile that i've never shown before		  
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"the first time we made love i wasnt sober and you said you love me over and over......."   
11:15pm 16/07/2003
 
mood: ecstatic
music: " lucky ones" bif naked (hense the subject)
im curled up in my berts graduation blanket. i sleep with it every night. im listening to kc.c and jojo "crazy". its our song. i miss him so much. its like dying when he's not here and then every time we see each other its like falling all over again. i'd rather hold his hand most of the time or have his arms around my waist than to have his kisses. his holding my hand and having his arms around me make me so safe. dont get me wrong lord knows i love to kiss him. (my analogy amy is robert kiss as buritos are to ozzy osborne... i cant just have one kiss i have to have 10 kisses ozzy cant have one burito he has to have 10 buritos)
i love robert like no other girl cuold love a boy. we've been together for 9 months and 4 days. longest relationship ever. he and i have had our "talks" about not wanting to fall in love with each other because we've both have been burned before but we cant help that we're falling hard and fast like a roller coaster and we've also had our talks about me not being the ideal preacher's wife even though we're not married, not yet atleast. sometime in the near furture when i graduate. the day after i graduate if possible.a year and some change.
counting down the day when i can wake up to the good morning kiss. and i have to go through the transistion of changing my signature from amy stokes to amy spruill. (Mrs. Robert Spruill) that'll be the day.
he has awoken the most creavtivness in me than chirs ever did. i have written so many poems that alittle more than half of greenbean and 1/3 of adam is filled with poetry and things of that sort about robert. (pictures, notes, things out of the blue that are about him and the way he loves me, et cetera et cetera)
-----------------
erics conversation:(he's trying to come over on monday)
NEW AGE INFANTRY: hes gone
lyingnext2him: so he comes back dont he?
NEW AGE INFANTRY: at christmas maybe
lyingnext2him: alright then
lyingnext2him: im not willing to have this happen again its not worth it
NEW AGE INFANTRY: so he may not come back
lyingnext2him: if robert wants to go with out sex until we get married then im in it with him
NEW AGE INFANTRY: the nearest base is 2 hours away
lyingnext2him: hes coming back for robert and mines wedding
NEW AGE INFANTRY: oh brother
lyingnext2him: whats wrong now?
lyingnext2him: youre the one who told bert not to break up with me because i love him so much
lyingnext2him: so whats wrong with him and i making future plans?
NEW AGE INFANTRY: yeah i did
NEW AGE INFANTRY: i'm an idiot
lyingnext2him: by the way i thank you for saying that to him
lyingnext2him: why r u an idiot
NEW AGE INFANTRY: cause i told him that
lyingnext2him: y its the truth is it not?

NEW AGE INFANTRY: n/m
NEW AGE INFANTRY: i wanted u all a long but i didn't want u to get hurt
lyingnext2him: why would i get hurt
lyingnext2him: im a big gurl i can take care of myself im not in pampers
NEW AGE INFANTRY: then u could of been mine
lyingnext2him: what were you going to fight robert for me?
lyingnext2him: you wouldve lost
NEW AGE INFANTRY: no
lyingnext2him: then how wouldve you gotten me
NEW AGE INFANTRY: and your retarded
NEW AGE INFANTRY: i wouldnt have lost
lyingnext2him: you wouldve
lyingnext2him: you may have beat the crap out of him
lyingnext2him: but id take him over you any day
lyingnext2him: i dont mean to be so harsh
NEW AGE INFANTRY: now i know its true
lyingnext2him: but im in love with him and you or no one else is going to stop me from having what i want... robert
NEW AGE INFANTRY: ok
NEW AGE INFANTRY: let me put this in a sane manner
NEW AGE INFANTRY: u want to bang in secret yes or no
lyingnext2him: no
NEW AGE INFANTRY: ok peace and good nite
lyingnext2him: good bye
---------------

i hate it when people try to come in between robert and i. its so freaking agravating. why do they even try when they know that ive found the person that im spending the rest of my life with (its true even if down the road he and i dont get along we'll solve it because i dont believe in devorce). Boys are so freaking dumb (with the exclusion of some ).


to robert: i did mean what i said to eric. if you want to wait until we get married to have sex than im in it with you. its nto fare for me to temp you and have you give in, this way if we tempt each other and we both give in, we can have it be a mutual thing. am i making sense?

anways its getting late and im beat. lates

"*LOL*(light of heart) is what i get whenever i get around you." -bert		  
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  bertandernie
 
 
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