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[15 Mar 2004|12:12pm]
i am a bad person because i just sat there. and i could have said something or done something and i decided not to. i just sat there and watched it.

and i have a friend who only does drugs. never has any fun unless he is inebriated, but when your father is an abusive alcoholic, who exsists that can point fingers. it's never fair.

i miss last summer.
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the black crowes raise my spirits. [12 Dec 2003|03:19pm]
sometimes i surprise myself. i went to bed at 4:40 am and i'm not tired. even stranger is that i'm in a relatively good mood. quite emotional fromt he lack of sleep, but it's been an alright day. functioning when you're tired makes everything so much more intense. i love it. i realized today that sadness and excitement are almost the same feeling. the tightening in your chest and such. and human contact is enough to make anyone stop and think about how fragile humans are with our emotions. Ben put his hand on my shoulder as he passed me in the hallway today, and i realized how much i'm going to miss everyone next year. all from that. eh, i don't know.

william wordsworth is totally fucking cool. he's one rad guy, and you should all read him.

on another note. i miss eric. a lot. and i need to make up my mind really soon what i'm going to decide. for 6 months i have avoided relationships so that i could wait for pierce. and now? it's all confused once again. because eric is wonderful, and i have a great time with him, whereas pierce has never been anything but mildly interested in me. however, eric isn't here, and won't be returning for quite some time, and pierce promised me that date to the diner. we'll see how this goes...

i need a cigarette.
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