1000 hrs free in the fast lane's Blurty -- Entries

1000 hrs free in the fast lane's Blurty Entries

1000 hrs free in the fast lane

[ website | My Website ]

[ userinfo | blurty userinfo ]

[ calendar | blurty calendar ]

word. [05 Nov 2004|05:41pm]

[ mood | angsty ]

[ music | poetic bullshit. its deep and meaningful. ]

d00d, i am teh l337 s3x0rz. i like to fuck bitchez and hoez and get 3ff'd up M4N! f0 r34lz y0. w0rd.

teh otha n1t3 i w4s fucking some crack whore 4 drugz n h3 wuz l1k3 "d00d u iz h4wt" n w3 had l3sb1an s3x cuz hez a b0y t33h33! n i n33d3d drugz bc im w1kk1d SXE omg omg i st0l3 muh fr13ndz c1gs da otha day n it wuz w1kk1d k3wl n th3n w3 got h1gh 0ff 0f n41lp0l1sh r3m0v3r n i g0t a n3w sxe b3ltbuckl3 T33HEE!!! w3 pwn3d m4d n00dz. f'R34LZ!!!!

1m w1kk1d gh3y!!!! LOLOL STFU OMG WTF HBU URGAY ILU 11!!1!!!!!!1!1!!11! TTFN!!!!!

0h y4h guyz, s3r10usly n0w, 1 wr0t3 sum n3w p03try. 1 th1nk 1tz w1kk1d d33p n sh1t.

1 br0k3 ur h34rt y3st3rday
Th3n sl1ced 1t 1nt0 p13c3s
1 laugh3d 2 mys3lf, 1n disgust
u w3r3 3v3ryth1ng 1 n33d3d
T1ngs d1dn't w0rk 0ut
1m s0rry t0 say 1t d03sn't m4tter
i n3v3r actuaLLy car3d
U NEVAH MENT NETHING!!!
i ate you, 3v3ryt1ng abut u
But, 1 luv u s0 fuckl1ng much...

omfg guyz stfu dat t0taLLi333 br0ught t3arz 2 muh 3y3z

i m4d3 4 pr3tt13 p1c 2!!!

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[03 Oct 2004|02:40pm]

[ mood | confused ]

[ music | FUCKITY FUCK FUCK! ]

ME AND MY BOYFRIEND ARE HOT.

2 comments|post comment

FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCKIN FUCK. [16 Sep 2004|10:00pm]

[ music | G0FFIX MU5IC T33H33 ]

what up guys. how the FUCK are you. fuckin f'realz yo. so i was fuckin. at the fuckin kingston motherfuckin mall tomorrow fuckin night. i was there with my fat boyfriend and he got me a fucking cafe fuckin freeze. it was fucking good. so yeah i was like do you know any fuckin straight fucking edge fucking kids. and he was like no... *cries* and i was like fuck you how the fuck are you and i was like i am SO goffix it fucking hurts yo because i am gothcore REPRESENT! oh oh, and my wig is still too big for my fat head. its okay though because my huge nose makes up for it. and then my fake blue eyes. fucking fuck fuck. what the FUCK yo. so yeah my fake ass hair and eyes fucking rule because theyre black just like my wardrobe because im wicked fucking goth fucking yes. so yeah my fat boyfriend is SUCH a sweetheart. i simply adore him because he's a gentleman and such a GREAT GUY. he wears fat men pants. i like those even better than girls pants because they're tighter. well.. on him they are. fucking fuck what the fuck yo im so fucking like gothcore fucking REPRESENT.

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[04 Aug 2004|11:20pm]

[ mood | curious ]

[ music | RAHRRR MUSIC!! ]

In my 2 years of studying psychology, I've come to the decision that I am fucked in the head. Literally. Like, through the ears. Oh man, I love earfucking. That's okay though because I can't spell anything right. I suppose it's because I've studied 2 years of psychology.. while I was in the mental hospital. That's where they send you to study. Except it was weird because I didn't have anything to study from. There were padded walls though, and they were fluffy, so sometimes I slept standing up.

Then I climbed up a tree when I came home, and saw a giraffe. I stood on my roof after, and jumped off because I thought I could fly. But I do understand the teenage mind, because I studied psychology. However, I never understood why I jumped off that roof.

It's probalby because I'm "queer" with my best friend's brother. *sigh.* I'm so messed up. Yay!

6 comments|post comment

[26 Jul 2004|12:21am]

[ mood | crazy ]

[ music | the fan going round and round and round and round and round ]

Jessica can't pee normally.

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[26 Jun 2004|02:32am]

[ mood | enraged ]

[ music | sloshing music ]

i heart tony. tony is awsome. he rapes little girls though. but htats ok because he is still uber hott. with two t's ooooooooooooo. im soooooo coool, like your dog. dogs are mighty cool because they hump EVERYTHING. Elephants on the other hand kill EVERYTHING. but i love tony. tony is awsome. i like him soooo much. Blurty is retarded. like puking bulimic girls. i just dont get it, if you dont want love handles to hold on to during sex, starve yourself. dont puke! you flaming homographics-ish. god! either way i heart tony. tony is awsome.

well this is all for now. im going to go call tony. mayb he'll jerk off on the phone. oooo. yay! i heart tony. tony is awsome.

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retarded gay ass elephantitis [24 Jun 2004|02:01am]

[ mood | exanimate ]

[ music | hanson ]

so yesterday was my half birthday. yes im now 16 years and approximately 183 days old. wow life is a bitch. i mean all i wanted to do for this wonderfull occasion was sit by the lake and watch gay people snort pine cones. so im sitting in the grass when a skunk walks by and was lik ehey.. bitch i gotta a present for you.. i was like wow who woulda thought, he knew it was the day.
then it happened. i got screwed for real DAWG. i mean yea ive gotten plenty of yeast infections. i have a severe case of IBS, but never in my cruel world did i expect this. ive had cucumbers shoved up htere, ive had milkshakes MADE! up htere. so i was laying on the animals bed. which, by the way, was covered in seaweed and nailpolish. then i saw it. it was green and slimy. but not the gross kind of slimey. he had a nice smell to him. you know hte kind of smell when you've been sleeping in a pile of cow manuer all morning and u decide to drink pineapple juice. he wore two tampons over his nipples to hid his enormous breasts. teh tampons had fruit flies infesting on the strings. what cute house guests they were, his hair was slicked back with wax from my ears. then we did it. his porker made his way through my orange. man did it feel good. then my dad walked in... and picked me up by my pubic hair and pushed me into hte lake. i swam with the birds, their beaks felt good against my eyelids. the water washed away all meaningful feelings i had toward flashlights. i knew then i needed to barf. i had realized that i was 3 LBs over weight, that damn **** ******** ********* *********** ***! i hate him. i need to hunt him down with my spoon and broken fingernails. that ruined my day. but i picked beautiful carrot flowers and named them JON-O. i love them.

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its like kicking sand in the grill [21 Jun 2004|01:27am]

[ mood | needy ]

[ music | i miss when the carrot flowers grew ]

while using my bagels to jerk off,... i began to think. I thought about how ugly english is and hgow fond i am of you. yes you and MUZZY! driveways are the most sweetest people that are going to become mutalated by her haircut. but either way it gets shoved up my ass... which means im tired and pissy. im amused because the crow is an awsome movie. like today wen i proved htat lizzie was better than jesus. since i burned all teh money in our relationships. like hte relationship when we pretend that your a dog and i get to be a grown man u uses cucumbers. or the other relationship when im a mute and cant talk because i hate my voice. and you are mute because i made u scream my moms name everynight when i shove hte radio up ur uterus and tickle your elbow. the other relationship that we have is when we run around wearing nothing but potato skins covered in our own mucus.
Speeking about being deep, like your sisters throat, i like to not only be meaningful. i want to be deep like the ocean of sweat between your clevage. or deep like the crators in your face. because u take baths with sweaty pigs who do squirrels up the bum. squirrels are yummy. they taste like ball sacs sauteed in butter. possibly with a tint of chocolate grapes. But then again we could all be as deep as the bellybutton attatched to the obese midget poser. shes soooo huge. i mean what would u do if she came tumbling after you and sucking on your toes. but withing the next day... shes like "ahhhhhhhhhhhh, Zach! I LOVE YOU!" i mean god.... i've quit. i cant deal with your dad chasing me around with uoiur moms dosh bage! errr i should go puke.... ta ta! if anyone can help me, give me advice, wish me luck, i would appreciate.

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1 a|\/| s0 l337 1t hur7s [17 Jun 2004|02:00am]

[ mood | angsty ]

[ music | hjardcore rap banjo ]

so like, i was sleeping at paul's house tonight when i was like IM GONNA MAKE MYSELF MORE GAY THAN USUAL AND GO ONLINE TO MAKE FUN OF OSME GIRL WHO IS LIEK THIRTY GAZILLION TIMES COOLER THAN ME. she beat me up, over the internet because shes that good. iw ant her in bed soo bad but itd be like incest cuz she's my sister inlaw but i like incest, soits okay. id rather have sex with one of her dogs t hough, cuz they are like so fucking ahwt, seroisly. so yeah paul and mewere like fucking in his doghouse when like the laptop felland hit me on the head and that was when i decided to go online.

i downlaoded briytney spearas and i was like rawkin out hardXcore.itw as cool as fuck man. then i like fell off the roof and tried to fly, becuas i thought since i was hih id could. but i broke both of my ankles and i cant walk anymore. at least i can still freestyle rap gangsta stylie tho. it'd suck if i broke my throat boan or somethign.

i suck so bad at life. maybe its becuz im needy, bloody, and bitter, and i lie.

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[16 Jun 2004|08:13pm]

[ mood | contemplative ]

[ music | yer assssssssssss ]

I am almost too gay to function.

Oh well, I think I'll just go puke my problems away, because that will make me deep, and meaningful.

I wish I could be on The Real World. Seriously, that'd ROCK!!! worddddddd.

HUGS AND KISSES!

2 comments|post comment

[25 Nov 2003|08:48am]

jewell is a loser face. she like yer mom. but then again yer mom is a sexy mammal.

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shurgagalot [03 Nov 2003|03:38pm]

[ mood | enthralled ]

[ music | the mice from babe ]

well last nite i had a dream... ill call it nail polish cap.
I was sitting in your basement and then the litebulbs turned green. They flickered, then like when ur mom spreads her legs, angels sang and light shone through. So your roof now looked like a discoball. I love it when you look like a disco ball, cuz the sparkleys distract me frum your overlapping cleavage hair.
The ducks came running past me and then I saw a big adorable tyranusorous rexter run behind them. he had an ugly red pokadotted thong on.. but he had it raping his tail. His teeth were gigantic, i feel bad fer hte penis he sucks on. i bet even if he tried, hed bite it off, my suggestion, stay with your toothless grandma. but then again if she puts her penis in his mouth, it will have a party, becuase there are lil flies dangling frum the tyranusorous's tonsils. They were singing the ukoslavian anthem. then i decided to join them, so i got my butterfly wings and began to sing. the rextor say me and decided since i have wunderfull voice i can hang frum his balls.
then i woke up.....
but it feels so real cuz i know have the canadian sux for anal sex anthem stuck in my head.. and i smell like cheese.

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I like it up your mom's ass. [02 Nov 2003|12:07am]

[ mood | pissed off ]

[ music | the wooshing of the fan ]

So today, was the birthday.

DUN DUN DUN!!!
*slinky porn music plays in background*

For my birthday, my second cousin brought me to Victoria's Secret & modeled the awesome underwear that came complete with tails. We wore only those back to the elevators, where we then pressed all the buttons & screamed "We've found the sixth dimension!"

Wow look at the fan go round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round wow i really want tacos and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round

You see, your mom called me last night and asked me to mow her lawn. In the background, I could hear the moaning of the kitties outside. They were fucking like bunnies, yet calling my name at the same time. Last time I went to the supermarket, I was looking for bread and the butcher came up to me, screaming, "Stop!". He informed me that I had freakish swan legs, and wanted to put me in the flower department so I could eat the meat display. Then a big green duck attacked us. I knew I should have taken exlax last night.

I got a new shower. My mom carried it home from the animal shelter. My pet ostrich put his head in the washing machine and bleached all of my tissues. But tissue number one, Toothpaste, survived, although he has many severe injuries including diarrhea. And then my aunt's best friend's son's grandmother's boy toy's bed slave came over and helped hook me up with some free porn, man. Wow, I never knew beastiality would be so colorful.

Tomorrow night I'm planning on giving myself a mohawk, but see, I don't want anybody to think that I'm copying them. Thanks to my mom though, I have really really long back hair so my mohawk will extend from my forward to my ass crack. I'm thinking I should attach sparkly pink beads to every other spike, then drop cum from the edges of the others. Maybe they'll be sticky enough for me to stick to the seats of my desks. That way, I don't have to be on top when my teacher wants me to stay after for extra help. Learning German is really annoying, especially when it's only for sex.

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[28 Sep 2003|06:46pm]

[ music | Mudvayne featuring Hilary Duff ]

So like, I totally went to this concert on Friday night. I went with my mommy and we tried to jump on stage, but then someone hit me in the head with their guitar, so I needed ice for my itchy toe.

That's okay though because last night I had worms in my burger. They were so yummy. I just love ant eaters. I mean, they shove pencils up their noses like it's so easy. I tried and I can't do it as well as they can.

I'm thinking I might paint my whole body purple and die my hair white.

I wore a miniskirt the other day and since I'm so fat, it was total wrongness. Then I shoved a donut up my ass. I figured if my ass ate it rather than my face, although they kinda look similary, I wouldn't get any fatter.

I ate glass for breakfast today. Then I spat everywhere. I mean, come on, that is so last weekend.

I wish I was a lampshade, how cool would that be? I could like.. cover light bulbs and protect people from going blind.

So like, I got my nose pierced three times. Once on each side, and once in the middle. I'm going to gauge each hole to at least a 00. It's gonna be so hott, and every boy ever is going to want to rape my nose. Jen and Lindsay would have so much fun with that. Hehe.

The other day, someone told me I was like rolls and they were a pancake, and I was like "EWW THAT'S SO SICK!" but I don't care, because my boyfriend dressed up like a cowboy the other day for school, and he's gonna be a pirate tomorrow. I love my boyfriend. On the days we don't hang out, he refuses to shower, and I refuse to brush my teeth. It's such a good thing that we do usually see each other sometimes once a month. But if we don't see each other then, it's usually only once ever 6 months. I had so many teeth replaced between now and the last time I saw my boyfriend, Ighor.

*thrust*

Well, that is all because there is a very cute little boy on a dirtbike outside, and I want to rape him... or maybe his tires.

And plus, I need to go shave with the squirrels, because they have the drugs.

WHEEEE!!! I love you all!! But only when I'm raping you.

6 comments|post comment

damn those purple curtains. [22 Sep 2003|06:46pm]

[ mood | dorky ]

[ music | If I Ever Leave This World Alive * Flogging Molly ]

Yeah so I was totally shaving my legs today and the squirrelies were watching. Every time I lost my balance, I fell into the toilet, and they lit up their bongs.

Yuckie, I mean, toilet water is soo nasty. Almost as nasty as your dad's hott pink toenails.

I mean, seriously, every time I try to fly up onto my roof, the trees follow me. I hug them, and tell them I love them, but noooo, they just won't go away.

So I was cutting open my elbows today when I came across something sticking out of one sideways. It looked like my dinner from a few months ago, moth balls and cheese. Bats taste so damn good.

Yeah so harassing the homeboys, I just love it. And they certainly seem to enjoy eating my french fries. I like throw them at them and their asses just like, vacuum them up. I mean, oh man, I just wish I could be swinging upside down on my see-saw right now.

When I hung out with Satan the other day, he lit my foot on fire. I ran around screaming that I was going to eat pencils. Yummy, I just love being a cannibal.

I JUST ATE A BALLOON! IT WAS SUGARFREEEEEEEEEE!!! Then I washed it down with some delicious sand.

When I was dancing with my notebook last night, I wanted to rape my fish. But I realized, they were kinda small, so I just shoved my head in their tank. I then screamed something about someone hurting my elbow.

But yeah, when I took my pudding bath, I started biting my legs. I mean, they tasted sooo good, just like my couch. I wanna go swimming in shoes.

Well, I need to go fly with the green apes, so I'd just like to leave you all with the most meaningful thing I have ever saidt:

I love your dead donkey.

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