||If I Ever Leave This World Alive * Flogging Molly
Yeah so I was totally shaving my legs today and the squirrelies were watching. Every time I lost my balance, I fell into the toilet, and they lit up their bongs.
Yuckie, I mean, toilet water is soo nasty. Almost as nasty as your dad's hott pink toenails.
I mean, seriously, every time I try to fly up onto my roof, the trees follow me. I hug them, and tell them I love them, but noooo, they just won't go away.
So I was cutting open my elbows today when I came across something sticking out of one sideways. It looked like my dinner from a few months ago, moth balls and cheese. Bats taste so damn good.
Yeah so harassing the homeboys, I just love it. And they certainly seem to enjoy eating my french fries. I like throw them at them and their asses just like, vacuum them up. I mean, oh man, I just wish I could be swinging upside down on my see-saw right now.
When I hung out with Satan the other day, he lit my foot on fire. I ran around screaming that I was going to eat pencils. Yummy, I just love being a cannibal.
I JUST ATE A BALLOON! IT WAS SUGARFREEEEEEEEEE!!! Then I washed it down with some delicious sand.
When I was dancing with my notebook last night, I wanted to rape my fish. But I realized, they were kinda small, so I just shoved my head in their tank. I then screamed something about someone hurting my elbow.
But yeah, when I took my pudding bath, I started biting my legs. I mean, they tasted sooo good, just like my couch. I wanna go swimming in shoes.
Well, I need to go fly with the green apes, so I'd just like to leave you all with the most meaningful thing I have ever saidt:
I love your dead donkey.