Ben's Journal
14 most recent posts

Date:2003-07-29 00:27
Subject:i hate this...
Security:Public
Mood: depressed
Music:none- but i'm thinking of nick drake

the sadness will overcome me if i don't do something soon. i'm going to go to amy's on thursday. she likes me again, and i think i like her again too. it's just so strange. i really do like her again. it's just... jesus.... it's hard. it'll be hard to do anything. Please, don't think i'm going to kill myself... that's stupid and cowardly. If there's one thing i'll never do, it's commit suicide. i live for me, and i wouldnt take that away for anything. amy... she likes me. i like her. i've gone out with her twice before. both ended a bit wrecked. am i a romantic? don't laugh at me. i'm straight and all, but... the world is so beautiful and happy and joyous... but people live in it, too. does anyone understand me? i can be completely happy by myself... and i think amy sees the world kind of like i do. please, don' t think i'm putting myself over everyone, i mean... i know i'm hateable. alex was right in that conversation from an earlier entry. there are people that hate me. quite a few i guess. it can be expected, but i don't want people to dislike or hate me at all. i'll be better... i just had to get everything out. Goodbye. Please reply.

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Date:2003-07-22 23:17
Subject:long time
Security:Public
Mood: melancholy
Music:nick drake's album pink moon

i don't like being phoney... yet every time i get on here that's all the fuck i am. so now i'll try to be real. this sucks. i found some chicks up in canada. they were cool. one sat on my lap and made out with me. the other, decidedly hotter one, was supposed to be with my friend charlie, but she wasn't digging him. oh well. in case you didn't know, i was up in canada for about a week. that was cool. i read catcher in the rye for summer reading. the best fucking book ever written. this is a seriously good book. read it. please. also, if you're not too scared, download nick drake's album pink moon. it is the best album in the world. i'm playing acoustic guitar because of him. god, his music is so great... and dare i say, beautiful? and it's sad... depressing really. he killed himself after it was released. it ends so suddenly, and thats all you ever hear from him again. its fucking beautiful, ya know? the only music ive been listening to lately is that and tom petty. me and amy aren't together anymore. she was cool. the last time i saw her i wanted to marry her. swear to god. i'm a dumbass, i don't even love her. this blurty is alot better with nick drake. jesus christ. i don't even believe in jesus fucking christ. i'm not phoney yet am i? i probably am. i need a fucking girlfriend. i'm so fucking whiny. thats all i do. whine and moan and bitch and complain. but please, if you read this, then please find a way to hear nick drake. even if you have to pay, i'll buy it for you! it makes you feel sad.. and melancholic, and it has hope, but is ultimatley defeated. god, i wish you could hear it. i want to write music like that. oh well. i know i forgot shit, but please reply.

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Date:2003-04-02 21:33
Subject:so...
Security:Public
Mood: thirsty
Music:REM - Its The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

hello good friends, its been a while. by the by, its my mother i love. don't ask me again. so ANYWAY, i should be doin more hw right now, but im talking to somebody special- my mother. (to MOM *wink wink*, you know how it is. i love you baby.) well, its that time of the year again! spring! jesus christ. i'm feeling pretty psyched. one of these days my brother and i are jsut gonna skip school and drive down to the beach and spend the day there, listen to some led zeppelin. fuckin a.
Don't hate me, i'm just not hateable, except for a few exceptions. by the by, i'm thirsty as a mofo. mom- when your on your trip, don't find some dude and forget me... promise? i promise. sleep. im not tired, what are you talking about?
Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich, Ben Morrison

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Date:2003-03-14 22:08
Subject:I LOVE HER
Security:Public
Mood: loved
Music:The Beatles- Something

I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER SHE IS GREAT I LOVE HER. FIN.

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Date:2003-03-08 16:15
Subject:Mr. or Mrs. Lemmywinks Gordon, Srs.
Security:Public
Mood: devious
Music:Beck - Where It's At

this song is so cool. nothing new in developments with the breaking story... wait.. yuh huh! i had to say no to meg, because... well... "personal differences", i guess. its ok. im sure shes over me. well, anyway, yesterday i did a dinner party thing. i was a nerd, and i went places with it, I knew all along that i was the killer. it was my shifty eyes that gave it away to me. they'll never catch me! HAHAHA! yes. great. my mood has now changed completely. song change, youy see. now i'm feeling all reflective, moby does that to me. it was beck, now its moby. My new favorite movie is being john malkovich. its a great movie, watch it. i'll add it to my list of movies you should watch. watchout for the ever devious me! ben, the non doormat! i'll walk all over you! HAR!

-hezekia "ben" Morrison

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Date:2003-02-20 23:03
Subject:girl troubles
Security:Public
Mood:confused
Music:Weezer - Island In The Sun

i have troubles... i probably shouldnt write this... but i will. I'm good at leading short, meaningless relationships with girls for like 3 days... that's all. then, every once in a while, a group of girls confess to liking me all at once. Therein lies the problem, my friends. Yesterday it was all good and fun, when a girl (who chooses not to be named,) said she liked me. I like her, too, and i said so. we were all so happy. I hadnt seen her since summer, but i do like her! This was good.
then the bad part... meg said she liked me.. i like her too. ill see her, she'll stop liking me, the other girl will stop, too, and ill be a loser again. no prob. if you have better advice, leave a comment. this is from past experience. i'll be a loser again, unless you guys help me.

-Ben

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Date:2003-02-18 20:40
Subject:been a while
Security:Public
Mood: cynical
Music:Elton John - Tiny Dancer

it's been a while. NO SCHOOL TOMMORROW! but i do have bad news. i went to the orthodontist, and apparantly its been too long since i was last there, so my overbite is now worse than it was originally. arggh. oh well. it's hard to always analyze my feelings. i'm not mad now. i was, but not now, so complaining feels F*cking useless. you know, chico? I closed my eyes to choose a mood! i will be cynical. i don't care about the war. it will end out, and things will be like they were before they began. it's simple as that. at every war people are afraid. no amount of protesting will stop it. this is fake. i could be spilling you wrong feelings. you don't know. What if i'm contemplating suicide? (i'm not, do not worry). Last night I wanted to create something. I need to create something. I need a plot. I want to make a movie. I have nothing to make a movie! i feel the creativity, but cannot translate it down on paper! jesus! i have so many great elements to put down into something, but cannot do it! ARGH! I need to be creative! HELP ME! watch trigger happy tv. i love that. they do such hilarious things, but the music is melancholy, and sad, and beautiful! jesus man, i'm psychoanalyzing it! They seem unhappy about it! Not unhappy, but... but... they want something more! I want something more! jesus! I'm crazy! This is Beautiful! life is beautiful around the world! i need to escape! i will conquer!

-Ben

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Date:2003-02-13 20:02
Subject:I'm Back
Security:Public
Mood: sick
Music:none right now

I'm sick. sore throat. oy. i'm trying to type without looking... i failed. oh well.

I know what you're asking. "when do you do something interesting?" You might not be asking that, but i am. the answer is simple: never. NEVER! if you have better questions about me than I do, please ask. I'll answer them in depth as often as they come out, so, come on... ask! just leave a comment asking. that's all.

-Ben

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Date:2003-02-11 20:32
Subject:dadadedada
Security:Public
Mood: hopeful
Music:Dave Matthews Band - Don't Drink The Water

well, i actually feel bittersweetish, but its not on there, so its indescribable i suppose. I get to act out the short play i wrote. its a spoof on Silence of the lambs. if you wanna read it ask me, i'll email it to you. Its funny. I have work to do. more typing shit. SO i do this instead. it may eventually get into my grades- not yet tho. today some girl whispered something to me, i forget what even, but i yelled a classic billy madison line- see if you can guess which one. i'm actually hopeful in my grades. I'm doin a skit for english, too. that should be funny. i wanna try to write a full length play eventually... someday. well, since we could all be dead soon from terrorists and war and such, i leave my valued possessions to nobody, because i don't own anything! its all my parent's (legally anyway) sorry, you cant have my stereo... ooh well. hopefully i'll soon have something to write about. bye bye.

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Date:2003-02-10 20:22
Subject:Got stuff 2 do
Security:Public
Mood: nerdy
Music:classical - Beethoven - Beethoven - Moonlight Sonata

i have hw- oy... again. so much. im actually feelin pretty good tho, i dunno why. it'll wear off soon. i got my report card. pretty good. i got a's and b's on the actual grade, and all a's except for 1 c in algebra for the midterms. its funny how the 1 c crosses out all of the a's isnt it? well, i wanna get all a's this time. pah. i'm gettin a d in algebra. oy... oh well.

g2g, have work to do! -Ben

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Date:2003-02-09 21:44
Subject:i'm back
Security:Public
Mood: okay
Music:Air - Playground Love

i got back. he had sims for ps2. that was a cool game. i laughed at the funny people saying things in their incoherent simspeak. We got to listen to my music on the way home. YES! Go BEATLES! you know how when you get back from a trip you just feel... blah? well, i have a light case of it, putting me at an okay. We might have enough snow tonight to call of school. a 4 day weekend would be cool. that would make a 3 day week, followed by another 4 day weekend. WOOHOO! i'll tell you the result tommorrow.

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Date:2003-02-09 11:17
Subject:Leaving soon
Security:Public
Mood: chipper
Music:Red Hot Chili Peppers - Around the World

Well, i'm going to my cousin's house on kent island at aboot 1. he's a cool guy. apparantly one girl once asked him out, a popular girl who was 1 year older than him, and he said no, just to see what she would say. hahaha. she was sad, of course. he is a very cool guy. Oh well, now my parents are on a cleaning spree, so I type to not have to clean. this is alot easier. any prospective girlfriends who may read this- i'm a slob. it will be hard to change me. sorry. well, that's all for now.

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Date:2003-02-08 22:54
Subject:wow
Security:Public
Mood: accomplished
Music:Simon & Garfunkel - Scarborough Fair

i just had a fight with alex... i think. left me with some questionable doubt, but it was cool. you know. you can love to hate him.
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Yo yo yo!
bassnchucks: homie
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: So, how's life?
bassnchucks: straight, for one thing
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: I hear that...
bassnchucks: yea, but its good
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: http://www.mglory.org/images/nihilistflag.jpg ! Horray for Nihilism!
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: What?
bassnchucks: i can predict your future
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: How's that?
bassnchucks: i think that you'll work at some record store where you make fun of people who know less about music than you do
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Oh Mr. Hifidelity.
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: *High
bassnchucks: yes, it made me think of you
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: And no, I don't want to work at a store.
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: I'm against consumerism.
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: And why, praytell, do you say that?
bassnchucks: because you know too much about your music
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: I don't follow...
bassnchucks: nevermind
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: No, please tell me.
bassnchucks: just remember that talk we had and got into a fight about music?
bassnchucks: it was mostly you correcting me,actually
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Does it make me a bad person because I know abuot what I like?
bassnchucks: no, no it does not
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Then what's the problem?
bassnchucks: no problem
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Then why were you mad at me?
bassnchucks: you infer anger, it was jovial talk
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Okay, then why the sarcastic cinematic quotes?
bassnchucks: i saw the movie recently, it reminded me of you
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Why though?
bassnchucks: because you know a lot about music, fried
bassnchucks: *friend
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: But, there's was almost a condisending tone to it.
bassnchucks: me, condescending? never!
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: But seriously, quit dodging my questions....
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Why the sarcastic tone?
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Hello?
bassnchucks: sorry, im thinking
bassnchucks: ok.. i got it.
bassnchucks: because you are an asshole
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Oh...Okay.
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: See, I was worried there. I thought with all that thinking, you'd come up with something half decent.
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Oh well.
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: I see my fears meant nothing.
bassnchucks: see? there it goes
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Of course.
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: I'm not going to let some prick that no one likes call me an asshole.
bassnchucks: you've never talked to anyone about hwo you guys don't like me.
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: What?
bassnchucks: think about it
bassnchucks: you dont have convos with people about how uncool I am
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Well, if you had any ability to write in correct English, it might be easier.
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: No, it don't make it a habbit to talk about people behind their backs, but you've come up at times.
bassnchucks: you bluff
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Okay Ben, I'll talk to you when you lay off the black-tar heroin...
bassnchucks: no, its fun to fight
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: This is a fight?
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: This seems more like you talking like an idiot....
bassnchucks: good one
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Why thanks.
bassnchucks: you think anyone appreciates you from last year?
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: I don't care about anyone from last year, with the acception of Sarah.
bassnchucks: so shes the only one you could've talked about me with, and i don't think she has
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Ben, you'd be surprised.
bassnchucks: its easy to lie on instant messenger
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: I'm not going to sit here and bring up names, but I know quite a few people who dislike you. Not saying everyone in the world loves me, you and I both know that's not true....
bassnchucks: well you dont care about anyone form last year except for sarah
bassnchucks: so who would you talk to?
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Doesn't mean I don't talk to people.
bassnchucks: and you act chummy like you did with me then talk about them too?
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: I had no problem with you, at all.
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Untill, like, 5 minutes ago, when you started acting all high an mighty.
bassnchucks: yet i came up in a few conversations
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Yes, other people have had small, albeit petty problems with you.
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: I on the other hand (with the exception of just now) didn't.
bassnchucks: you seem nice when people talk to you, but then you just turn around and are an asshole. you are the one person i know like that. you aren't easily defined
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Yes I am. God. Simple, three lettered adjective. God.
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: But I've never had a problem with you.
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: From what I knew, you were my friend.
bassnchucks: why do you think yourself god?
bassnchucks: you know who you are? you're hannibal lecter.
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Ya' mom.
bassnchucks: so superior, yet in your own twisted way
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Damn right.
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: If only there were more people like me...
bassnchucks: it isnt part of your charm
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: I have no charm.
bassnchucks: you think you have so many girlfriends because of your looks?
bassnchucks: *have had
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Wow Ben, wow.
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: You've finally grown some balls.
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Good for you.
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Too bad they only come into play when talking to someone via AIM.
bassnchucks: im just a damn fucking doormat
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Fo' sho'.
bassnchucks: how would you know? you haven't seen me of late
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: Ha ha.
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: I love you Ben.
bassnchucks: jesus, what the fuck?
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: http://www.nothingnice.com/old/03-18-02.shtml
bassnchucks: i take it you don't like emo
KUNGxFUxJESUSx: I shall return...
i am straight, by the way.

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Date:2003-02-08 19:34
Subject:First entry.
Security:Public
Mood: bored
Music:One million miles away, J Ralph

This is my first entry. I found a cool song yesterday, One million miles away by J Ralph. you should download it, as long as you arent caught. I did nothing today, just like most days. Television. well, thats all for now, i'll be back.

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