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| 11:10pm 10/10/2003 |
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mood:  sore music: Evanescence- Going Under
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Today wasnt really to bad of a day. Talked to my mom on the phone a few times from the hospital. she sounds a little better. mike called me and it was kinda odd, he said he'd be online tonight but he's not. no big deal. i get to go see good charlotte 2 weeks from tonight. i can't wait. it's gonna be good. i can't wait for halloween. i'm probably gonna work that night but still i can have fun. dress up at work. maybe me and kelly can have costumes that go together. well i'm tired and dont feel like writing more. later |
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| Blah |
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| 01:24am 09/10/2003 |
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mood:  hopeful music: Taproot-Poem
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Today wasnt too bad of a day. My mom got out of ICU which makes me happy. She might be able to come home soon. But that doesnt mean she's gonna live for that long. Cancer really sucks. My parents are gonna get remarried. My mom is so excited about it. It's really cute. She was talking about wanting to be at me and my 2 younger brothers weddings. I want to get married but I'm too young to really think about that right now and well I'd also need a boyfriend in order for that to happen and thats just not in the picture right now. I get to go to my Good Charlotte/Mest/Goldfinger show on the 24th. I can't wait. It's gonna rock. Maybe I'll meet the band but probably not. I can always try. Well I'm gonna go now since I have no idea what else to write. |
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| More Poems |
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| 10:42pm 30/09/2003 |
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mood:  content
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Here are some peoms I wrote while sitting at work on my break.
ME
You call me a freak.
You call me a punk.
You say that I'm weird.
You say that I'm gothic.
How can you say these things when you dont even know me.
Just realize one thing, I am who I want to be.
Also remember this, I won't change for you or anyone else.
You don't agree with my "lifestyle".
You don't like the music I do.
You dont like piercing, and I do.
You don't like tattoo, and I do.
You dont like my makeup, but I do.
This shows you don't like me for who I am.
Don't expect me to be who you want me to be.
You'll just be disappointed when I don't.
YOU WANTED
You wanted to marry me.
You wanted me to leave my family behind.
You wanted me to start a new life with you.
You wanted me to have your kids.
You wanted me to be who you expected me to be.
You didnt realize that we were too young.
How can an 18 year old know who to marry.
It's been 1 year since we broke up the last time.
Now you won't even talk to me.
That's probably one of the best things to have happened to me. |
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| 10:39pm 29/09/2003 |
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mood:  artistic
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Here are 2 Poems I wrote for my mom while sitting in her ICU room today.
MOM
Your like my best friend.
People say we seem like sisters.
You understand me more then anyone.
You can always tell when something is wrong.
If I could be close to the person you are, I'd be glad.
Everyone says we are similar in ways.
I really don't know what I'll do if I loose you.
No one will ever mean as much to me as you do.
The reason that is because your my mom.
I know I may not have shown it as much as I should have.
Just remember that I love you and always will.
You'll forever be in my heart.
My Life
My life seems to be falling apart.
My mom is really sick.
She seems to be getting a little better.
Who really knows whats going to happen?
What will I do if she doesn't make it?
There is nothing that could make me feel better.
I love my mom more then anything.
I really hope that she realizes that.
Hopefully my life won't fall apart as I fear. |
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| :'( |
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| 10:38pm 23/09/2003 |
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mood:  sad music: Good Charlotte to calm me down
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My mom is back in the hospital. It really sucks. I was there from about 10 p.m. last night to 8 a.m. this morning. She had to get emergency surgery. She went in for that at exactly 2:48 a.m. The surgeon didnt think she'd make it off the operating table alive. Me and my dad were sitting there waiting for what seemed like forever. About 2 hours later someone came in and said she was going to be put into recovery then put into ICU. That gave us hope. It was kinda scary seeing her hooked up to the resperator and all the other stuff but knowing she was still alive was the best thing in the world. We went home at 8 a.m. to check on my little brother and tell him what was up. He didnt go to school because we were going to go back up to see my mom. We went back up at around 12 p.m. and stayed till about 7 or 8 p.m. I spent almost a whole day at the hospital. But I'd do anything to be with my mom in a time like that. I dont know what I'd do without her. She's more then my mom she's my best friend. I love her so much.
Well before I get really crying i'm going to end this |
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| some quizzes i've taken and thought were great. |
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| 10:05pm 10/09/2003 |
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mood:  bored
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I'm going to see Good Charlotte, Mest, and Goldfinger on October 24, which is in 44 days. I can't wait. GC rocks live.
WOW! You ARE a genius! Maybe you should be my new
best friend, my fellow Rancid junkie!
Are You A Rancid Genius?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are a Rancid Dude , well done , you bell end
Are you a Rancid dude?
brought to you by Quizilla
Your Beautiful Brody!!!!!
ur the beautiful drug free brody who loves
listening 2 hard punk music, wearing cut up
band shirts and living with ur equally
beautiful husband tim armstrong
Which Brody Armstrong r u?
brought to you by Quizilla
You love Benji so much i am afraid for his sake. I
think hes about to get a stalker. You know
almost to much about him...geez! Benj is very
scared now!
How Much Do You Love Benji Madden!?!?
brought to you by Quizilla
Your FUCKING awesome and know all about rancid!!!!
Your awesom!!!
Are you a real RANCID fan? or are you just a poser
brought to you by Quizilla
your most like Lars Frederiksen
what member of rancid are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're Indestructible the cd that put rancid on a
major label for the first time. I'm very
dissapointed...
What rancid cd are you?(with indestructible)
brought to you by Quizilla
You Accually Might Have A Chance With My Man. NOT
IF I CAN HELP IT.
Would You Have A Chance With Benji Madden?
brought to you by Quizilla
your Dream Guy is the PUNK,Benji Madden sure he may
seem cute and cuddley,and he really is but
every one knoes Benji Madden is a Hard Rcoker
which is your dream dude?(Tom Delonge,Benji Madden,Mark Hoppus,Joel madden
brought to you by Quizilla
Where the hell have you been?! Benji's been
looking for you!! Lucky you. Benj is awesome.
He, like you, loves punk music, tattoos, pizza,
and people watching. (Yep, people watching ;)
But underneath his wild exterior, Benji's
actually pretty shy when it comes to girls; he
doesn't like to make the first move. (The poor
guy's afraid of rejection! :*( So you gotta be
nice to him!) But when it comes to hanging out
and being himself, he's a total animal - so you
better be spontaneous or he might get bored.
Have fun with your Kid Vicious!
>>> Which Good Charlotte Boy is Your Love Match? <<<
brought to you by Quizilla
Benji...urs will be the best, u guys r so rough its
kinda grose. You sick fuck! Kids are so dirty.
SO...go fuck the sexy dirty Benji already!!
*Who from Good Charlotte will you fuck and will it be good sex?!*
brought to you by Quizilla
Wow, you're a true Good Charlotte fan. If anyone
deserves to meet them you do. Good Luck!
Do you deserve to meet good charlotte?
brought to you by Quizilla
Wow! You must be a fan! If it's by GC or Mest
doesn't matter, I reckon they both rule.
Is it GC or Mest?
brought to you by Quizilla |
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| 10:52pm 06/09/2003 |
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mood: sympathetic
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Today I found out my great aunt died on thursday. I havent seen her in a few years. Its kinda weird to find out the way my family did. Our neighbor called because she seen it in the paper. I guess we arent as big of a part of her family as we thought.
I am 56% Punk Rock
The intelligent punk. Tuff and Smart. I may be able to maintain a train of thought long enough... What the fuck was I talking about?
Take the Punk Rock Test at fuali.com
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| 10:42pm 06/09/2003 |
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Today I found out my great aunt died on thursday. I havent seen her in a few years. Its kinda weird to find out the way my family did. Our neighbor called because she seen it in the paper. I guess we arent as big of a part of her family as we thought.
I am 56% Punk Rock
The intelligent punk. Tuff and Smart. I may be able to maintain a train of thought long enough... What the fuck was I talking about?
Take the Punk Rock Test at fuali.com
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| blah |
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| 02:57am 16/08/2003 |
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mood:  distressed music: Good Charlotte to calm me down
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I worked, it wasnt too bad but busy as hell. then came time to count out the registers, mine was like 4 dollars over which i could survive with, then it was time to count the other cashier out. she was like 25 dollars short, meaning we'd be there way past 9. we got out at like 9:45. My dad picked me up. Little did i know that my night was gonna suck after that. my dad told me hurry up cuz we had to get home cuz my mom was really sick. my bro called an ambulance. she went to the hospital. me and my bro went with her but they didnt tell us anything. we were there from 10:40 till like 11:30 before we knew anything. I got really figity since I hate hospitals and sitting still for long periods of time. Finally we found out about our mom. They said could have died. Then came the time to call and get my dad to the hospital since he was having chest pains. he came and me and my bro got to leave at around 2. i didnt want to leave but i knew she was gonna be ok cuz my dad wouldnt let anything happen to her. the only thing that bugged me is they told me that my dad should sign for a blood transfusion. hello i'm 20 I can sign for it when she told me to. well toady sucked. now its time to sleep. but that wont really happen. |
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| 10:59pm 10/05/2003 |
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mood:  bitchy music: Good Charlotte- My Bloody Valentine
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Today I worked. It wasnt too bad. It would have been a lot better if I hadn't went to pick up something and hit my head on the counter. My one cashier decided to be funny and told me I was thinking about Benji too much. That cashier is so annoying sometimes. He feels the need to tell customers that I like Good Charlotte. He also feels that he should call me Benji. I guess that's his little nickname for me. And for god knows what reason I answer to it. My brothers are driving me crazy but that's what brothers are supposed to do I guess. My dad doesnt say much to me but when he does it pisses me off for the most part. My mom is cool but she won't let me get a tattoo. I'm 20 and she freaks when I bring it up. Since I have to be at work at 8:30AM tomorrow I think I should be going to bed. Gotta love spending Mother's Day in Hell AKA my job, when I could be at home with my mom. I bet my older brother wont even remember to call. Oh well. |
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| Good Charlotte Concert |
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| 01:45am 04/05/2003 |
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mood:  drained music: The ringing in my ears and GC-The Young and The Hopeless
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Yesterday I went to my Good Charlotte/NFG Civic tour Concert. It was awesome. I can't wait to see Good Charlotte again. I went with my brother which sucked. He was bitchy the whole time. My parents had him follow me everywhere. Hot Rod Circuit was pretty good. Not much more I can say then that. Less Than Jake was pretty good. Never really heard any of thier music till I got to the concert. They interacted with the crowd and I think that's cool. Good Charlotte was awesome. They did all of my favorite songs which I thought was really cool. I had centerstage tickets which was pretty cool. Wasn't really close to the stage but I didn't care. Being in the same place as GC was good enough for me. I don't remember the exact order they played the songs in but I know the first was Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous and the last was The Anthem. The girl sitting next to me was getting on my nerves. Joel came out on stage and she was screaming Joel is so hot. It's like yeah he is hot and whatnot but dont scream it in my ear. I wanted to smack her. But being that I'm 20 and she looked young I could get into a lot of trouble so I just decided to sing along to the songs louder. I wished I would have paid a lot more attention to the whole set up of GC but somehow I always ended up like starring at benji. I think he's really talented. Chris is cool. Billy was running around like normal and Paul wasnt really smiling. Benji basically stayed in one spot which I thought was a little bit wierd. He did hand out some shirts to some of the people in the front of the audience which was cool. New Found Glory was great. I've been a fan of them since like 2000. I don't know how but somehow I stumbled upon Ian's name online and started talking to him online. If anyone asks for the name I dont think he has the same one. He told me to check out the band he was in and I did. He sent me some band stickers, a patch, some drive thru records stickers and another sticker. It was cool. He is a really sweet guy. I was having problems in school and with my family and wanted to drop out and he told me to stay in school and whatnot. this has nothing to do with the concert but it has to do with me liking New Found Glory. Chad was running all around the crowd. Jordan joined him at one point. It was cool. Joel came out and was "break dancing" with Jordan. It was cute. Overall I enjoyed the concert. After the concert I was freezing because stupid me didn't bring along a hoodie. I was waiting in the line to buy a t-shirt and hoodie so I wouldn't freeze anymore. Some girl was pushing me so I pushed her back. her boyfriend asked why i pushed his girl. I said "umm I wouldn't have touched her is she wouldn't have pushed me to begin with" he didn't say anything back to me. Its like my brother lets me do something on my own and I get into trouble. Oh well it was funny because I'm not usually one to stick up for myself. I wanted to try to meet GC but my bro being the butt head that he is didnt want to try to. There is always next time. My parents came to pick us up since we didnt want to drive and while we were waiting cops kept saying you got a ride coming. we would say yeah. they would be like you sure. One time i was on the phone with my mom. I should have been like wanna talk to my mom to get proof. My dad bitched the whole ride home cuz i was talking. hey when you have fun at something you talk and talk and talk. Since it's really early in the morning I'm going to try to go to sleep. |
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