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amanda sometimes

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the amsk i polish in the mornin' by the evenin looks like shit [08 May 2005|08:06pm]
god dammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmn it.fattttt
1 touched the paper : guide the words you write

[16 Feb 2005|09:48am]

"I've Been Eating (For You)"

So im just the medicine, you take when your sick.
You get well and thats it.
Im put back on the shelf in your mirror.
And it isnt exceptional the course of our fate.
See poeple love and they hate
And I guess its just our turn to hate.

Yeah you were just some song I wrote, a poem on a page.
A sculpture made out of clay, desire was the fling.
But now your more of a basketball, boys just pass you around.
Bounce you hard on the ground.
And dribble, and we all get high fives.

And you think Im an asshole now, well your probably right
Well atleast im not blind to the fact, Ive been wishing for lies.
Still I hope you get everythin that you care to posess
And unbelievable sex with him, or anyone of my friends.

But just dont ask about my appetite
I didnt loose it tonight, its been gone half my life
Its jus I, Ive been eating for you.
1 touched the paper : guide the words you write

[18 Jan 2005|07:01pm]
You're a builder, baby;
Here I am, a stone.
Don't you pick and refuse me,
'Cause the things people refuse
Are the things they should choose.
Do you 'ear me? Hear what I say!
guide the words you write

[27 Oct 2004|03:55pm]
When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend
Get my coffee and a paper and my own conversations
I see the sidewalk and the pigeons in my window's reflection
The mascara in the evening, by the morning looks like shit
And I know you have a heavy heart
I can feel it when we kiss
And maybe men stronger than me
have thrown their backs out trying to lift it
But me I'm not a gamble, you can count on me to split
The love I saw in you in the evening, by the morning won't exist
You're looking skinny like a model with your eyes all painted black
Just keep going to bathroom and you say you'll be right back
Well it takes one to know one, I think you've got it bad
But what's so easy in the evening, by the morning such a drag
I've got a flask in my pocket, we can share them on the train
And if you promise to stay conscious I will try to do the same
We might die from medication but we sure killed all the pain
But what was normal in the evening by the morning seems insane
And I'm not sure what the trouble was
that started all of this
The feeling, the reasons all had run away
But the feeling never did
It's not something I would recommend
But it's one way to live
Because what is simple in the moonlight, by the morning never is
Yeah, it was simple in the moonlight, now it's so complicated
It's simple in the moonlight
It's simple in the moonlight
It's simple in the moonlight
guide the words you write

i love you much (most beautiful darling) [22 Oct 2004|05:06pm]
today i remembered how much fevers and mirrors is a cold weather kind of cd. and ive been longing to listen to it since.

wish i could find it,
along with some other cds.

i love you much (most beautiful darling)
2 touched the paper : guide the words you write

[05 Oct 2004|04:27pm]
oh goodness, check out these sexy babies:

boy do i love that casey.
more pics!
Read more... )
1 touched the paper : guide the words you write

[14 Sep 2004|12:04pm]
i've decided having BRIGHT FUCKING PURPLElayouts arent exactly the most discreet when tryingto sneak itduring class.

my hands are cold.
guide the words you write

[24 Aug 2004|04:54pm]
for yael:

since feeling is first

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;

wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,
and kisses are a far better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
--the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for eachother: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis
2 touched the paper : guide the words you write

[24 Aug 2004|04:40pm]
it is at moments after i have dreamed
it is at moments after i have dreamed
of the rare entertainment of your eyes,
when (being fool to fancy) i have deemed

with your peculiar mouth my heart made wise;
at moments when the glassy darkness holds

the genuine apparition of your smile
(it was through tears always)and silence moulds
such strangeness as was mine a little while;

moments when my once more illustrious arms
are filled with fascination, when my breast
wears the intolerant brightness of your charms:

one pierced moment whiter than the rest

-turning from the tremendous lie of sleep
i watch the roses of the day grow deep.

i love this man.
1 touched the paper : guide the words you write

i carry your heart [21 Aug 2004|12:06pm]
it may not always be so; and i say

it may not always be so;and i say
that if your lips,which i have loved,should touch
another's,and your dear strong fingers clutch
his heart,as mine in time not far away;
if on another's face your sweet hair lay
in such a silence as i know,or such
great writhing words as,uttering overmuch,
stand helplessly before the spirit at bay;

if this should be,i say if this should be-
you of my heart,send me a little word;
that i may go unto him,and take his hands,
saying,Accept all happiness from me.
Then shall i turn my face,and hear one bird
sing terribly afar in the lost lands.

guide the words you write

[21 Aug 2004|10:22am]
Would anyone want to bang you? by phobia
Favorite Food:
Wants to Bang you:
This many times:114
Quiz created with MemeGen!

damn straight biotch.
1 touched the paper : guide the words you write

[17 Aug 2004|02:04pm]
green tea is so icky.
2 touched the paper : guide the words you write

[02 Aug 2004|03:24pm]
1. studded belt - 2 points: 2
2. dyed black hair - 2 points: 2
3. thick rimed glasses - 2 points: 2
4. tight shirts/pants - 2 points each: 2
5. gaudy belt buckle - 2 points each: 0
6. clothing bought from a thrift store - 2 points each: im going to go with..16?
7. having hair with bangs longer than the rest - 2 points: 0 not anymore,muaha
8. trucker hats - 2 points: 0
9. messenger bag - 3 points: 3-never use it though. its black.
10. livejournal/myspace/friendster account - 2 points each: 2
11. saucony/new balance/ converse shoes - 2 points per pair: 2
12. mountian climbing key thingy - 2 points: 0
13. X'd up mosh gloves - 10 points: 0
14. scarf - 2 points: 4 (green and white)
15. refering to bands as acronym - 2 points: 2
16. vegan diet - 5 points: 0
17. vegitarian diet - for shame, no points: 0
18. food not bombs participation - 5 points: 0
19. straight edge - 5 points: 0
20. aspiring photographer - 3 points: 0
21. using adj from the late 80's/ early 90's (i.e. rad, gnarly, rockin', etc.) 1 point for each word in vernacular: 0
22. pins/buttons 1/2 point each: ohh man.. umm.. i have so many, but ill just go with 8 points.
23. plugs/body piercings - 2 points each: 0
24. vinyl collection - 10 points: 0
25. moldy peaches fan - 10 points: 0
26. liking metal seriously - deduct 5 points: -3(i like some)
27. liking metalcore - 5 points: 0(haha, same fucking thing)
28. reading books over 300 pages long - 3 points: 3
39. riding a bike - 5 points: 0
30. participating in "the mosh" - 5 points: 5
31. tea aficianado - 5 points: 0
32. writing poetry - 5 points: 0
33. attended 50 shows or more in a year - 5 points - 5
34. attending hell fest - 5 points: 0
35. being in a band - 5 points: 0
36. working at an record store/health food store - 5 points: 0
37. clapping durring midpaced part of a song - 5 points: 5..ok so ive been to a few screamoshows. pissoff.

my score: 56
0-24 - not scene at all
25-44 - getting there
45-74 - scenester
75 - or more - SCENE SLUT
1 touched the paper : guide the words you write

[26 Jul 2004|12:57am]
[ music | isn't it obvious? ]

whatever poison's in this bottle
will leave me broken, sore and stiff
but it's the genie at the bottom who I'm sucking at,
he owes me one last wish
so here's a present to let you know I still exist
i hope the next boy that you kiss has something terribly contagious on his lips

i don't know.
someone tries to be like someone who they claim tries to be like everybody else. does that make you someone who tries to be like everybody else,too? today i've been unhappy, for the most part.
i wonder if he's jealous, which would be kind of ironic, being that the boy he's jealous of is jealous of him. i feel like the caterpillar in wonderland. t-shirts that you cant show to alice. i need to sleep i guess. but im not tired. tomorrow im going to see a self absorbed pretentious biased fucking moron. who happens to be a fat vegan(go figure.) and the reason kerry is going to win this election. well, aside from the fact that our glorious president happens to want to make church head of state again, and destroy science. as jessica says, men should not vote when it comes to a womans body.dont even try to fucking guilt trip me, i have it just as bad as you. if not worse, you make up all your problems. which is the difference between us, i try to ignore mine. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. i played super mario bros today, god i suck now. its always like a snow level, sliding around flat ground.

and even if her plane crashes tonight
she'll find some way to disappoint me,
by not burning in the wreckage,
or drowning at the bottom of the sea

guide the words you write

[16 Jul 2004|04:11pm]
look i updated!
1 touched the paper : guide the words you write

[10 Jul 2004|09:53am]
Sitting around, no work today.
Try pacing to keep awake.
Laying around, no school today.
Just drink until the clock has circled all the way.

It's late afternoon, as you walk through the rooms
of a house that is quiet
except for unanswered telephones.
You stand near the sink,
you mix up a drink.

You think you don't want to pass out
where your roommates could find you again.
Stumble 'round the neighboorhod, nothing to do.
You're always looking for something
to sniff smoke or swallow.

Calling over next door, see what they've got.
But you would settle for anything
that would make your brain slow down or
stop this circle of thoughts you chase
before they catch back up with you

And your parents notice your thinning face,
All the weight you've lost,
All the weight youre losing.
You said "I'm done feeling like a skeleton,
no more sleep walking dead."
You're going to wake from this coma.
You're going to crawl from this bed you've made.
Stop counting on the camera
that hangs around your neck,
cause it will never remember what you choose to forget.

And you try to find one source of light,
try to name one thing you like.
You used to have such a longer list,
And light, you never had to look for it.

But now it's so easy, it's so easy to--
it's so easy, it's so easy to
second guess everything you do
until all you want, all you want is to
finish this half empty glass
before the ice all melts away.
This feeling always used to pass,
seems like it's every day
seems like it's every night now.
1 touched the paper : guide the words you write

[10 Jul 2004|09:13am]
love doesnt fill you up.
i suppose something more solid, more tangible does.
like blankets,or people.
something warm or familiar.
instead of feeling numb,
i suppose you would just feel.
guide the words you write

[02 Jul 2004|05:13pm]
in the morning
when you throw up water
and your skin turns a pale pale yellow
well everyday you lose more color
do you think that someone paints your mirror?
so you think that things sound different
at the time when you speak
well there are visions much clearer than these blurs that you see
and like neely o'hara you swallow your sleep
and wake up in the morning
to find you are not who you used to be
you don't recognize the behavior
or the spelling of your name and the shape that is in the mirror
well you'd swear it is not the same
and like neely o'hara
you swallow your sleep and you really can't remember
but you know you are not
think you are not
no you are not who you used to be

god damnit. im falling into myself again.
2 touched the paper : guide the words you write

[29 Jun 2004|01:07pm]
journal drama.

how fucking stupid.

i hate journal drama.
2 touched the paper : guide the words you write

[28 Jun 2004|08:22pm]
get over it.
guide the words you write

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