Beautiful

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8th June 2004

9:55pm: love is Never enuf...
Yea well...been long long time since I updated. I crashed my car about 3 months after i last updated...definately railed a telephone pole...totalled the car. Yea, jason sucks. He pissed me off. What a way to get over my anger rite? Anyhow...definately had to pay fines and go to court and ALMOST lost my fucking license... Duh! Anyways... a while after that we broke up and then got back together. And then, he left for florida, all the while i find out that he'd been sleepin around with all these OTHER FUCKING GIRLS! AUGH! Then he came home and we talked it over and blah blah blah i told him i needed to be alone and shit. Well, that didn't work too well cuz we ended up seeing eachother for an additional 2 months. Then, we fought and fought and fought and he became a jerk some more. Well...um...oh yes, after prom (we went together), he decided to flip the fuck out and scream at me and tell me he never wanted to talk to me again and didn't want to deal with me and that he was done. So, i take that to heart that he's done and try to move on. But Noooooooo, he has to call me up one day and tell me to call his friends cuz he got beat up and my parents yell at him and he yells at them and then i almost get kicked out. Well, no sirree...im done with that bullshit. Don't care. He didn't care about me when he was ramming his dick into the other girls, and didn't care when he screamed at me and hurt my feelings, so why should i care?! Ya know...so blah. I'm done...good rittens.... I'm graduating in like 3 days so ill be done with the drama bullshit. Now, i guess i'm ganna get iff here cuz its pissing me off...peace out

*beautifuL*
Current Mood: blah
Current Music: nada...

8th November 2003

9:29pm: I've got a good, no wait, great life
My life has finally come together. After waiting almost 2 years to be with Jas, I am finally with him. It's been almost 2 months that we've been allowed to be together. We're doing great and I couldn't be happier. Every day I thank god for bringing us back together. I don't know where I'd be without him. I love him so very much. Over the last 2 months we've been working on our relationship and getting back to normal and we're doin great. Life is awesome. My grades have gone up and for the first time since 9th grade I made honor roll. Not only did I make honor roll, but I made HIGH HONOR ROLL... w00t! Welp, I figured that I would update and all. Much love to everyone!

1 <3, Chyna Bitch
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: My Immortal- Evanescence

18th October 2003

11:20pm: I hate dumb bitches
Ok first off, I am soo amazingly sick of all the stupid ass hoes who try to sleep with MY boyfriend. Especially ones that are friends with me. I am fuckin sick of it. Especially one named LISA...no respect for anyone else's property. I am gettin married to him you sick fuck, stop trying to get him to sleep with you, he won't! Augh. I wanna slap the shit out of her and all the rest of u stupid girls who want him. Sometimes I wish that he was really ugly so no girl would want him, but I am glad that he's gorgeous, cuz he's mine and I get to sleep wit him. It just urks my shit that she doesn't respect that we're together. Fuckin whore. And to make it even nastier, she's his best friends EX GIRLFRIEND, and she slept with MY best friends boyfriend, what a slut. And she was married with a child, her being 16, and sleeping with like 5 other guys, god damn. FUck them all, i hate them. Im out

Chyna Bitch

2nd October 2003

11:33am: Yea school blows
Duh, im at votech and im like really bored out of my mind. I saw my baby last nite but i got sick and ended up layin at the kitchen table cuz i wanted to die. I hate chocolate. It can all burn in hell. But anyways, he was super sweet and he rubbed my belly and was massaging my temples so my headache would go away...yes well I love him. But anyways I gotta go before i get busted for being online, Lata!

<3 always
Chyna bitch

30th September 2003

10:41pm: What would I do without you?
Soo, here's the big old huge update that I've been puttin off for 3 days, lol. Ok Start at square one:

1. Jason came and talked to my parents last thursday and we're actually allowed to see eachother now...they laid down all these rules and shyt but its all good. I love him sooooo much.
2. Definately ganna get into a fight with this stupid ass bitch from tech. She talks some serious shyt on anne and I but then wants to run and hide, stupid catty bitches.
3. Well, my life is just greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. Lol.

I've been chillen with baby since Sunday and we're really good. We had a small fite tonite about him hangin out with Stuffme (thanks to anne he has a new name). I hate that kid with a passion, ew. He brings out the absolute worst in Jason. I told him that too. Its alright though cuz I still love him. But anyways, I gotta bounce and switch my laundry, Much loves.

<3 always,
Chyna Bitch
Current Mood: good
Current Music: Smilez n Southstar- Now That You're Gone

21st September 2003

7:54pm: *W0o0oT*
Sorry I haven't been around to update...my computer died on me and I was upset cuz I couldnt tell my daily happenings. But don't fear, Its up and running now, obviously ;-). So, today is Sunday...went out to Annie's house and picked her and Jill up and we cruised to the mall for a bit, was fun, then I took them home and returned to the mall. Met up with Sar, Stuffnuts, Heatherrrr, and Nella and chilled at the mall. We walked around admiring the nice display of corvettes and stuff set up throughout the mall. Then went to Arby's to use the potty and found Sar and them at the pet store playing with the puppies, awe. I dont want one though. Sar was telling me how the only dog we'll ever have is a pittbull like his baby that lives with his dad. Don't agree but hey, gotta have leverage somewhere rite? But when we were walkin back down towards the middle of the mall he pulled me into Littman Jewelers and was trying to find me a ring, *giggle*. We found some nice ones but it surprised me that he actually did that, I was never really sure that he wanted to get engaged but now i know for sure. I love him so much. He found a nice one that was platinum, cuz he only will buy platinum, and it had a huge 1.2 carat princess cut stone. He thought it was really pretty and we just sat there lookin at them and talkin to the lady about rings. Then on the way out he went into Kay's and found the one that he wants to buy me. And the whole thing is, I didn't say NOTHING, I didnt influence his actions either. The one he wants is 1.6 carats and its HUGE. I don't want it that big, but its his choice, his money. It was so cute, cuz the lady asked if we were gettin married and im like, um, no not yet. lol. Just finding a ring for our engagement which is sortof planned but I hope its a surprise that he does some time so I don't know. Anyway, we were sitting on the chairs talkin to the girl and she asked if it was going to be a long-term engagement and he's like, yea around 2-2/12 years. And im like, awe. She was like, where do you work and he's all like, haha I don't its my dad's money, cuz he's rich as fuck. Im like, good choice of words there babe. Anyway, all in all the whole day was good, he went to Stuff's house to fix his Dub and I hope it gets done tonite cuz tomorrow he can come talk to my dad. I hope with all my heart and soul that he lets us be together. I love Sar so much. Welp anyways, I gotta bounce. Much love always

*<3 always*
~Babe
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: Phil Collins- True Colors

15th September 2003

8:29pm: Yea yea school again
Well, first time in a couple days that I'm updating. Been super busy lately...school, work, driving around. The usual, but there is one difference. I have my license now so alls well. Haven't talked to Sar since Saturday nite when I was on my way home...I miss him muchly. School has been ok I guess, I feel so alone in my shop cuz everyone's goin their own ways and shyt. I hope Sar comes to talk to my dad soon sometime so we can be together. I love him so much. Well, I'm not in the talkin mood rite now so I'll end this. Love muchly.

<3 always,
Chyna B*tch
Current Mood: drained
Current Music: Forever and For Always- Shania Twain

9th September 2003

4:17pm: Today is a good day
Well...last nite I talked to Sar again and well, everything is good again. My life is like a fucking soap opera I tell u. Drama drama drama...all the time. He says that he's ganna get home schooled, and that is baaad. He's the reason that I wake up every day, cuz I can see him. He said that he'd talk to my dad soon and I hope thats ganna help out. Never know with parents. I really really really hope that we can see eachother soon cuz i miss him and he's not a bad guy, just has problems like everyone does. Anyways, I went for my license this morning and i definately GOT IT! Im sooooo psyched. I drove back to school and that was wierd, I don't like driving alone though. But anywho, I saw my baby and got lots of kisses and I was supposed to see him after school today, but I don't think that'll happen seeing as I can't go to his house. But Im goin to Walmart with Essica after i get her at work...welp, im ganna go, love muchly

<3 always,
*China Bitch* <----yea thats my new nickname from Sar
Current Mood: cheerful

8th September 2003

8:31pm: At the end
Today was my first day back to school since vacation. Exciting? Not close. I am just in a mood that I can't put into words. I guess its not good that I lost weight again either, this is what he does to me. Mind games are far worse than any physical abuse. I don't know how much longer I can stand this. Last nite I wanted to go to sleep and hoped that I wouldnt wake up. I can't feel pain when I'm sleeping now can i? Naw I cant. All I fucking ask is that he returns alll of the emotions I've given to him. Ok yea, we broke up a while back but still, it was his fault cuz he lied to me and did stuff that he KNEW would kil me inside. But I blew it off cuz hey, why be mad? And now all of a sudden he's gatta be stupid again and be all anal and say he wants someone else or whatnot. I guess I give up. Really...i know that'll change when he comes around actin sweet. He does that, and he knows that he has me wrapped around his fingers. I hate it. I am not a marionette, don't pull my strings and manipulate me. I am not something you do that to. I have fucking feelings, do you know know this?! And the shitten thing is, I did nothing wrong to him. I guess he just didn't like that I fought back bout the other girls, but what am i really supposed to do? Sit there and be happy that he's off fucking other girls? Naw son, don't play this. I am just at a loss for words, my stress level is waaaaaaaay up and my emotions are squat. Nix, don't have any rite now, just feeling depressed. I even thought about eating looooooots of tylenol so i could sleep for like hours and hours, but I dont wanna get my stomach pumped. not a good thing, and this is really scaring me cuz this is how it started last time and I dont wanna go there again. Never again will I put myself through that. And another thing is, my mom actually asks me about him just bout every day. She waved at him and we were slowly breaking my dad down so he'd let us be together and nwo he's ganna be anal. Screw that bubba. Sorry this lil girl isn't ganna be fucked over, he wants to be "done" thast exactly how im ganna be....OvER! I can find someone who will treat me better. And i know he's got the advantage cuz he's my first love. That sucks. But anyway, im ganna get going so i dont throw up, feeling sick. Im out. Much love

<3 always,
Beautiful
Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Phil Collins- True Colours

7th September 2003

5:05pm: His games are pissing me off
Ah...deleted the last entry by accident. Now i must rewrite it. I got home from vacation yesterday and talked to buddha. I was so lonely because I was the only one who didn't have a friend with them so I was pawned off onto everyone else. I hate third wheeling. Lol. I got into a fight with Sar the second nite iw as there. He does this every couple weeks. He calls me and is like, "I need space, I wanna see someone else etc." I don't know what to think. I was so upset and devastated and then he called me 2 nites later. From what i got out of it he was in a bad mood and he loves me and blah blah blah. But i havent' talked to him since then which would be 5 days ago. Today i was out with a couple mutual friends and apparently he's been trying to get in Kelly's pants now. She's the girl who always wanted him when we were together. I don't understand. Ha, he has no desire for sex my ass. He wants to fuck around and stuff. I hate that. I mean shyt, I haven't touched anyone else since April but I can't say the same for him. He screwd up 2 times. And now he's been off doing stuff he knows that I dont like and I think he's just trying to do stuff just so he makes this easy for him to get rid of me. I don't know anymore. He just drove by and well, I just wanna die...my heart hurts and i wanna throw up. Is this really worth it? U prolly say no, but I can't say the same. Everyone says that we're "meant" for eachother and I'm not so sure anymore. Is this really what love is about? Doubt that one. For now, there's my heart and feelings out in the open, feel free to comment. Much love always.

*Beautiful*
Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: Lillix- Promise

29th August 2003

3:59pm: *wOoT* vacation time
School's been ok, saw jas a lot. He's bein a tart rite now, i dunno...he says he feels "cramped" im like...oh well ok then so i kinda gave him my opinion on that one and i think it pissed him off cuz he didn't call me. It's also very likely that I won't talk to him before i leave tomorrow morning. Oh well...i guess absence makes the heart grow fonder...either that or it will make him want to find another girl, that wouldnt be good. Well i guess I will go now cuz I am bored. Much love...

<3 always
the one and only,
Girrly
Current Mood: crappy
Current Music: Lillix- Quicksand

26th August 2003

6:32pm: First day of my Senior f*cking year, woo-ha!
So today started the last year of my high school career...not to bad of a day. Spent the last 2 days w/my babe, gotta love him and his out of controol style. Lol. This year is the first year since 10th grade that we are actually close to being normal like we used to be. This year is going to be a piece of cake and its ganna be great. I go for my license in 2 weeks, so that should make it better. I can actually walk into school and to my classes with my boy by my side...cuz e'ryone knows that we are a pair. Bein his girrly is what I have wanted sooooo long. Its amazing, I love him...but votech was a piece of cake, we have absolutely NO new students, we're all veterans of the chapter too, my job won't be hard. Lol. But anyways, I'll let ya go, gettin kinda bored. Much love.

<3 always
Girrly xoxo
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: This Is The Night~ Clay Aiken

24th August 2003

7:10pm: We won't fall apart
This weekend was pretty decent. I talked to my honey on the phone almost every nite since Thursday. I babysat Shane and Miranda last yesterday and I stayed over there till this morning when their mom came home. I went to work and had a blast there...our grill cook is nuts. He's so funny. And we were all just in good moods today I guess and that makes it all the better to work there. Its alright most of the time, but sometimes I just wanna quit and find another job. But it pays and I will stay there till I find somewhere else to work that can work around my schedule. Came home and took a nap and woke up around 4 somethin when Nella called me. I love havin him cuz he's always there for me.

My life is finally coming together and I am happy to be where I am right now. I have the light in my life, Jason, and my friends. Although my family doesnt like him, I have until I am 18 to wait. That is all fine and well since I have been waiting for well, almost 2 years. Its taken him this long to realize that I am what he wants and thank god he figured that out. Looking back at the past I dont think I would have ever realized that he'd be the one I would fall in love with and couldn't give up. I won't give up because I love him and because I know that he's got potential, he just needs to focus a little bit.

School starts in 2 days, which would make it Tuesday. That is ganna b great cuz I will see him every day and we're ganna write notes back and forth and prolly be like it was when we dated in 10th grade. Just more mature and respectful. We've come a long way since the beginning. Been seeing eachother off and on for 2 years and well, it seems longer than that. I think once we are allowed to date, we'll be fine, cuz if its this good now and we're not together, I wonder what it will be like when we can see eachother. We'll have to see.

Well, I must go because I have spilled my heart out. Ohhhhhh I am going for my license on Sept 9, wish me luck!

<3 always
Girrly

Mexican's lil Shweetie
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: 24/7 ~Lillix

18th August 2003

8:01pm: My life is damned to hell
Today has got to be the worst day I have had for a long time. Not that I never have bad days, but this is a fucking cake topper I tell ya. Well, I was on the phone for a while last night, cuz i needed to be, and I miss him a lot. And I woke up this morning, everything seemed ok, but I called him at 11 like he asked me to and he was sleepin so i left a message with his mom. I went about my business and took a shower. I went for lunch with my mom and so proceeded to tell the manager where I work how much I think she's "blind" and that she thinks I am sneaking around to see him. I am like, whatever, so i blew it off. I went home and took a nap for a little. Then I drove her to the store and she critiqued me on everything that I did, "don't step on the gas so hard...don't swing so wide...don't do this, don't do that" and it just didn't stop. So once again, i blew it off. Drove home and parallel parked (Woot I did it) and I wanted to try again so I went around the block. And in the alley by the pool she puts her hand on my head and is like, "do you think I am stupid?" So im like, oh god here we go again. And IM thinkin, jesus what did I do now. And she's like, I know why u go to the park, and im like here we go with the accusations again. And she thinks that I am sneaking around again to see him and that I am going to lie and stuff. And im like, am i stupid? I have 7 months till I am 18 and can see him. My last year of highschool and I can't do anything without getting bitched at and accused. And she doesnt want me to get my lisence cuz she thiks I am ganna sneak off and go places im not supposed to, Aka, sneak around to see him. I am just getting so fucking god damned sick of being accused for aeverythign I do. And she doesnt want me with him cuz she says he is going to bring me down and I am never ganna go anywhere and not make it in my life. I hate them. I really hoesntly do. THey have nothing good to say about me. My life is going to hell. I am out...but I will be with him even if they don't like it. Maybe it will work out, maybe not, but I am ganna find out one way or another. I love him and thast the end.

<3 always
His lil girrly
Current Mood: sad
Current Music: Lay lady Lay- Bob Dylan

17th August 2003

9:34pm: Stop me and steal my breath...tell me that we belong together
Today was just a super duper day if i might say. Woke up and went to work till about noonish. Always a good time...only if i am gettin paid to not be there. Which defeats the purpose of me being there. After that I came home and filled balloons, crepe papered the swing set, and set up food for Bran's birthday party. It was cute, all unicorns and pink, green, and purple. Soo girly. Wish he could have seen it. Took my shower and got all pretty and went outside. Just sat around being eaten by flies and annoyed by my pop. He's so mean sometimes. I wish he didnt' have parkinsons/alzheimers. He's not himself and i hate it. Cuz he's such a sweet man. Tried takin a nap after that but didnt do that cuz Linds and i went to the park and just chilled there. Sar got his car back and saw him but he didnt wave kinda made me mad. Got kinda *fizzy* when anthony got there. Goodness was i scary. Named myself Barbra. Hahahahaha. Fun fun fun. Think i wierded out linds and gabby. Oh wellz. Saw tasha and brandy, they were chillen down there too. Then my jessika got there and Linds said Peace out cuz she had to go home. Then chilled there and Sar came back down. I couldn't talk to him cuz Stufflet was there and he'd go run his mouth and I'd get in trouble. But finally I got a kiss and a hug *Im in love*. And he said he'd call me later. But Nicky was there and she took me home. ANd here I am, once again, in front of this computer telling my daily fiascos. Lol. But I gotta go now, PeAcE oUt

<3 Girrly

*I love the way u look at me, I love the way u smile, I love the way u hold me tight, I love knowing that YOU ARE MINE!*
Current Mood: drunk
Current Music: Thoia Thoing~ R. Kelly

16th August 2003

9:02pm: Bleh
Well, he never called last nite, so I guess he was occupied. Oh well. Tasha and I chilled yesterday before I was supposed to go to dance, but my group never showed, so i couldnt dance either. Ugh. What a team rite? No not really. I drove around all day with my family cuz i need road time, and i hATE hATE hATE parallel parking. Its damned to hell. I hate it! I can't do it so i give up. Tomorrow is my lil one's birthday, she's ganna be 8. Awe. No no she's not my kid, its my sister. Lol. Ive been chillen here listenin to the same music and some of it reminds me of my boy. I want to cry when i hear it. Oh well. I gotta bounce, im tired, but dont wanna sleep. Later all.

<3 Me
*girrly*

*i love him and i can't help it*
Current Mood: blah
Current Music: I'm so into u ~ Fabolous

15th August 2003

10:56pm: Headstrong, I'll take you on...
I haven't written for a few days becuz I've been busy. Right about now my life sucks a big phat one. I am super bitchy, and I have no idea why. I want to curl up into a ball and have someone hold me. I Just hate this feeling of being alone. I need him so badly and its killing me inside. I love him more than I could ever put into words or even try to. It hurts cuz I can't get the feelings out, and all I want is to be with him. I just want him to look me in the face and tell me how much he loves me and just lay in his arms forever. He hasn't held me for almost 2 months now...probably because my parents hate him...and thats all find and well. That's their choice. I have 7 months and some odd days until I turn 18 and then I can try and work it out wit them. Until then, I just wanna focus on what I have to do to stay alive and in good health. It sucks to be depressed and have to rely on something to keep my chemicals balanced so I dont go crazy again. I wish in all ways that I could go back about 2 years ago and fix what I did. If I could do that, I would be with him. And it sucks cuz I made a huge mistake. I love him so much. If you read this, I love you. I love you more than everything, you are my life and my world. Without you I can't function. Well...I guess technically I can, but I love you none-the-less. I am heartbroken and in a situation that is terrible to get out of. How can u heal a broken heart when the only person who could do that is the one who broke it in the first place?? Its just a tangled ball of shit. I hate this. But I love him. I talked to him and he says that he loves me, and I want to be with him...I just wanna love him and hold him and kiss him. He is so perfect in every way possible. I love everything about him...from the little scars on his arms to the little black freckle under his eye. Its pure exstasy. I love it. I would love to just sit in the same room with him and know that I am sharing his air. Call my psycho or whatever, but I am far from it. Just a girl in love with a boy who she cannot share her life with. Its so crazy how any one person can love another person with all they have and more. Its just crazy. Purely insane. Well, I must depart for this evening, my bed is calling me. Good nite all. Much love

<3 Me

*x´¨`x*When I Think Of You*My Heart Skips A Beat*x´¨`x*
*x´¨`x*And In My Dreams*You Lift Me Off My Feet*x´¨`x*
*x´¨`x*You Don't Understand How I Can't Sleep At Night*x´¨`x*
*x´¨`x*Because Knowing I Can't Be With You Doesn't Seem Right*x´¨`x*

"You don't love someone because they're beautiful. They're beautiful because you love them. "
Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: Headstrong- Trapt

13th August 2003

11:14pm: BTW
I didnt get the job at Cabelas :(

I went for my interview there at 2 and filled out papers till forever, and finally got called in, they did the interview and the guy said that there was only one thing holding him back from hiring me. They have a fire-arms lisence and can't hire anyone under 18 to work there cuz they sell guns. Oh well. I got hit on by 3 construction workers, haha. The one was like, DAAAAAAAMN, i just smiled and kept on walking. They scared me and I hid behind a van till my mom got there. Aye, life is crazy.

Much love, once again
<3 always
Girrly
11:04pm: Lack of respect...
Last night I got 6 phone calls, I am soo popular. Not. I called "sara" back and well, lets just say he has no respect for me. He was being an asshole, so i hung up and just went to bed. Screw that one. I just don't understand why he has to be all pissy and rude with me. I mean, he swears he has changed and blah blah blah but he shows me nothing. I hate that. I love the boy more than anything, I really do, but he is such a dickhead sometimes. You'd think after so long he'd get the message that its not ganna happen w/us unless he changes. but naw, he doesnt. I guess I am just not worth the time or effort to change for. LIfe goes on, and mine will, and it hurts me so bad cuz he doesnt realize how much I love him. Boys are dumb. SOmeone help me out please...if u read this and u can help me, comment please. I am stuck. Much love to anyone who cares.

<3 always
GiRRly
Current Mood: melancholy

12th August 2003

4:43pm: Can I have a taste?
This morning I was awakened by my cell phone. On the line was my wonderful, Brandon. He called me to see if I wanted him to come over...well of course I did silly. I've spent almost the last 2 weeks in his presence, minus the time he's at school/work and Saturdays/Sundays. I think I've watched more movies in the last 2 weeks than I have in the past year. Lol. We always have a good time, and he makes me smile. He texts me almost every day to tell me I am beautiful/gorgeous/sexy. I love to have him around. He's my buddy...we're going to walmart tonite to get wires for his strobe lights and I need to pick up some new flip flops. Ha...If you only knew. He left me around 3 today cuz he had to go to work, but I will survive...

Flip Flops: About 2 weeks ago I was sitting on the patio resting my foot on a huge citronella candle. Well, I guess I just pushed a little too hard cuz it tipped over, spilling extremely HOT wax on my foot/flip flop, which coated them in this sticky shit. I had to throw away my new shoes from that bitch. Ugh, I am a moron. Oh well... what can i say?

I HAVE AN INTERVIEW AT CABELA'S TOMORROW!!

Wish me luck ;)

Much love,
Me
Current Mood: sleepy

11th August 2003

1:13am: I love you
Well, today I worked...yee haw. Not quite. Work was crazy and I was soooo swamped trying to run around and do everything that everyone needed me to do. But i did it, cuz i got skillz. But anyhow, I got a call from Cabelas and I have an interview this Wed, so hopefully Ill get the job. I miss my baby sooo much. I haven't talked to him inm sooooooooooo long. Its k, i still love him. I have 8 months till I am 18 and then i can say. FUCK U GUYS! I love him. School starts in 2 weeks which sucks ass cuz I don't wanna get up early :( I go on vacation that following friday, so thats kewl. Anne is comin with me, should be fun. Woo, beach bunnies. We are just ganna chill at the pool that is AT THE HOUSE, or go lay on the beach and scope some hot boys, LOL. Welps, I am ganna jet now, much loves!

<3 always,
Little One
Current Mood: energetic
Current Music: Ginuwine-<3 love u more <3

6th August 2003

9:34pm: I love the way you look at me and want me so bad but know that you'll never have this again
Today I woke up at 1:35 and had to work at 4 so my day wasn't too adventure filled as I would have liked. Went to work and it was so slow so I did a whole bunch of nothing...I probably gained like 10 lbs in the 4 hrs i was there lol. Um, came home and went for a walk with my brothers fiancee and talked to her about my problems. I need a little help sometimes...talkin to my ex matty about the past...seems that i was used again. Its all gravy though, its done with. Talked to sara (lol jess) last nite and well we miss eachother bunches, gotta love my sara. Welps im done playin on here, much love, maybe I will write back later.

<3 always
bEaUtIfUl
Current Mood: grumpy
Current Music: Momma's voice

5th August 2003

4:18pm: ::yawn::
Today is a lazy day, maybe because its raining or maybe cuz i was partying at my sister's reception all day yesterday. It was soo much fun. Although it rained off and on all day it was fun to go swimming and just chill at my nan's house. The ceremony lasted 5 minutes at the district justice. But my sister, she was soo gorgeous. I am soo happy for her. We drove to the cemetary to take flowers to my Lil Nan's grave cuz yesterday was her birthday and we sang happy birthday to her. I miss her. Got my book poem book on sunday nite so i have to edit it. It is really good. But anyhows, Im bored and there is nothing of interest on this computer rite now so I am out. Talk to ya latas. Much Love.

<3 always,
Beautiful
Current Mood: grumpy
Current Music: Ed, Edd, n Eddy

3rd August 2003

1:15pm: Abra-abra-cadabra...I wanna reach out and grab ya ;)
Good song...kinda old but still good. You should download it.

So my morning was spent working at the glorious diner once again just like every pitiful weekend in the past 3 months...but good news to me, ::pats on head:: i have off tomorrow, *YAY* But it is my sisters wedding, can't wait...i went shoppin for her present and i was SOO tempted to get her something baby oriented ::Aww:: I want a neice/nephew soon, i love babies ::giggle::

Downloaded songs and burnt a cd, yes I am one of the millions of illegal MP3 stealers...so shoot me. Blah. Im ganna end up dying one way or another so why not die for something I love. Yes, music, I love music.

So i talked to my mom about gettin my lisence and she doesn't feel I am ready for it, blah suck that. I hate this. I wanna be able to drive myself to where-ever and stop depending on my family/friends...i hate it. So i made a few simple errors...BUT THERE WEREN'T SIGNS SAYING YOU CANNOT DRIVE UP THAT SIDE OF THE PARKING LOT. They need to specify, im sure im not the only one who did it...and the whole right turn on red, yeah, that should include turn LEFT on read too, cuz i am impatient...although that would defeat the purpose, but still. Maybe i should re-read the manual...lol. But anyways...I am blonde and I do think I should practice more, BUT OH OH OH! I parallel parked ON MY OWN ::go me go me:: Eat that one, hi-yah! ::snicker::

Well i must go clean my bedroom, for in 3 days I will have another one of my lovely foster sister's in my room...aye. Toodles! Much Love

<3 always,
bEaUtIfUl
Current Mood: determined
Current Music: the music in my head FROM WORKING AT A 50's DINER!

2nd August 2003

6:44pm: I wanna take your love
Wells...today I was 24 minutes late for work because i could not sleep worth a damn...maybe it was because someone ::giggle:: kept callin me, but it was ok cuz I hadn't talked to em in a long time. Went to my work and achieved a new nickname, I am no longer The almight toast maker/ Toasty, I am a Babushka. Thank you to my loverly bandana i wore today ::claps:: But i left around 12:30 or something after my ex's brother came in for lunch cuz he got married today. Not my ex, his brother...for those of you who don't understand my random piecy wording. Lol

Went shopping with mom and Sam to get shoes and a present for the wedding...should be fun...got my BEAUTIFUL to hang with me the whole day so it should be great...

We picked up 4 cases of Beer for my upcountry coalminer relatives who love their alcohol, they're so funny although my Uncle Tom won't be attending ::sigh::

You'll have this though :(

Welps, gotta go. Much love

<3 always,
bEaUtIfUl
Current Mood: pleased
Current Music: Right Girl- Daniel Bedingfield
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