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change [08 Nov 2006|07:21pm] whoaaaa look what i found... now ill forget about this again for a year post comment

shitty band yet such an appropriate song [17 Jan 2006|10:13am] [ mood | crushed ] How long I’ll wait Just to say goodbye Ten different ways to enjoy this night Can’t do this anymore Won’t feel you anymore How long I’ll wait Just to say goodbye You could never let me in Holding on until the end The time I waste just to say goodbye Out of your way I could do this right Can’t see you anymore Won’t feel you anymore How long I’ll stay Just to say goodbye, say goodbye Leave it all the fights and all Summer’s getting colder Drive all night to hold you tight Back to California Days went by We waited and I guess we’re getting older We couldn’t win in the end You’re gone I’m miles away Turning out your lights Ten different ways I could end this night Can’t do this anymore Won’t feel you anymore How long I’ll wait Just to say goodbye, say goodbye Leave it all the fights and all Summer’s getting colder Drive all night to hold you tight Back to California Days went by We waited and I guess we’re getting older We couldn’t win in the end We couldn't win in the end We couldn't win in the end You’re gone ~ sugarcult ~TH~ post comment

" they say its your birthday" [19 Nov 2005|04:56pm] wow.. im 20... really though.. im 20!!! ~TH~ post comment

" and now the red ones make me fly and the blue ones help me fall" [17 Aug 2005|05:37pm] [ mood | excited ] so yeah about this blurty deal.. its been almost a month since i have updated.. but for good enough reason i suppose... this last month of summer has been what i expected.. it was good times.. saw sarah for a couple days my grandparents visted for a few weeks cousins came.. then went to the beach with the fam and sarah for a week.. and work has been awesome.. but i cant wait to get back to school im defintely set to go... the week at the beach was awesome everyone loved sarah times a million the grls were like her shadow and have been begging me for her screen name.. i was the mvp of this years softball game i had a three run homer and made an awesome diving catch on a hit by my dad that would have tied the game.. we also went fishin again and caught a huge amount of fish.. so yeah the end of this summer has been awesome so much i could go into but i wolnt.. it was just fun.. but im so ready to go back now.. im excited.. this year has to be better then last and im so ready for it... i got back a week early meaning i move in on monday so i can do training for this job im doing.. i have an awesome roomate and we are gonna tear it up and sarah has two great roomates who are two of my best friends so im really excited.. so yeah awesome... ~TH~ post comment

" you're not making this easy" [21 Jul 2005|06:31pm] [ mood | confused ] so yay for getting to go somewhere what i have been dying to go to for a long time... i cant wait times a billion.. but what if i didnt go... i dont know why i am thinkin this way.. i guess i just dont feel wanted all of a sudden.. its been so long.. and seems things have become distractions.. i dont want to force myself into a place i dont really fit at the moment... do i really matter.. i guess its just one of those time where i think stupid stuff for no reason.. i read into stuff .. but then again i never know.. i have always been hard pressed to trust .. and this summer is a true test of it... i guess im just dyin.. dying to be hel the way i havent been for weeks... ~TH~ post comment

"I feel like i've lost everything when you're gone .... [14 Jul 2005|11:31am] [ mood | anxious ] .....left remembering what it's like to have you here with me " well its been a month since i have seen her.. and i fear a month plus more until i see her again... its gettin really fuckin suckful...period... damn it sucks... but i know itll be worth it... i find strength in this love this time.. ~TH~ 3 comments|post comment

" another lonely night in amsterdam" [03 Jul 2005|10:57am] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | what else would i be listening to ] well i realize now that nothing is goin to make this go away... no matter what happens... this feeling is goin to be here and it can only get worse.. nothing is going to make it better... id give in if it didnt mean so much.. but then again.. thats why it hurts soo much.. cause this means the world to me.. if i wasnt so important i wouldnt be so miserable.. but i woulndnt have it any other way... well today im goin to hang out with mark and then hit up the blue rocks game again with brian and jessie and mark.. yay for fireworks... wait no yay fire works make me miss sarah... ~TH~ post comment

" if it were up to me we'd have everything we need, you'd have me and i'd have you" [02 Jul 2005|11:41am] [ mood | jealous ] [ music | dashboard ~ july ] well... its bad.. down right unbearable....im good for a few minutes but then its just i dont know i cant describe it... just one thing will make me better.. like a drug... yeah im like an addict.. i need my fix.. well mayb in this case a constant I.V. or ya know like a morphene (sp?) drip .. except what i need is sarah.. yeah just a constant hourly dosage of the grl i cant live with out would make living through this summer that much better.... ok enough of that then... last nite was kool and random.. ended up haning out with jessie and her friend monica they called me at ten and i wieghed my options... boredom and sulking.. or a chance to salvage the social aspect of my summer... so i went .. and i must say me and jessi make quite the comic pair... basically all we did was surf face book and make fun of peoples webshots.. o this was all after breaking into bellvue (sp?) park to visit thier horse... eww yeah saw a rat... me and rodent are no longer friends after i found a dead mouse in my shoe...so yeah.. but yeah it was quite funny at times.. " EWWWW" " ugh" ( us lookin at pictures of naughty franny) " how many people are named franny of course its her" " eww that grl has like swollen jay leno face syndrome" i had som great line when i first got there... jessie said it was the funniest ever.. but i cant remember it... but i did promise this line would be in here... " i even have a band its gonna be called... my new found brand new chemical dashboard flogging drokick fall out BOUY" o o o and " charles A HOMAN!" sigh but alas.. i still miss my grl throughout it all.. life isnt fair ~TH~ post comment

" i need you so much closer" [01 Jul 2005|09:30pm] enough said... ...FRUSTRATION... i just want one thing... name it... ~TH~ 3 comments|post comment

" but please dont leave me now" [30 Jun 2005|02:54pm] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | i miss you mix ] COME BACK ~ the early november Looking in your eyes Praising every moment because you're my only light Reading through stares at your passion that bears me now Shedding no little tears The silence scares us more than leaving could [Chorus:] Come back Please don't leave me now I'll be all that you need in life Because I can't live without you and I know all that you need I can give you everything When you're so far you'll forget about me Waiting by your side Knowing every moment is closer to your flight Upset with the past, but it's all that holds us now Believing no lies, telling each other we'll be fine forever [Chorus] But I'll wait I could never leave your beautiful eyes I know you're sorry I know what you must be going through And I feel sorry for you But please don't leave me now another screw up by me... its just so frustrating... i hope whateva we work out will be good... cant help but have bad feelings ya kno... ~TH~ post comment

"Tonight I'm writing you a million miles away." [24 Jun 2005|10:38pm] [ music | starting line ~ stay where i can see you (i miss you mix) ] well its been a real long time since i updated... seems like i have been busy but i cant remember what i been doing.. really nothin much at all... work is ok... kinda boring.. but i dont work enough to hate it... i get alotta kool stuff though... i have seen sarah twice since schools been out.. its been liek two weeks or so now since i saw her last.. hopefully she can come up next weekend or whenever it is that i want her to come up here! tried tog et kevin up here this weekend.. but the parents left for vacation and the plans werent settled by then and they preferred i didnt drive on sunday... and it turns out i have to work neway... seen a lil of brian.. we went to the blue rocks game which was fun... " theres sumtin in there... " we are so immature but its sumtimes fun to throw tampons in peoples hoods! " whats the best type of meat".. " ham.... o i thought it was opinion!" haha catch phrase is the shit.... lets see other then that.. nuttin.. im slowly sinkin into a depression... ahh me and kevin go back to school a week early along with brian.. that has trouble written all over it! haha yesss.. neway thats it... ~TH~ post comment

" drive all night to hold you tight" [02 Jun 2005|09:52pm] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | I MISS YOU MIX ] so things were great for a few days.. i picked up sarah and brought her back here for the weekend.. then spent the nite with her monday and came home tuesday.. it was great.. but it sucks to say goodbye i hate it... nothing hurts more...i an only imagine and think how things would be if she was closer.. or .. sigh but now things are just suckful again... everything just seems to be going wrong or whateva.. did hit the beach with my mom yesterday ... weather sucked but we shopped a bit .. nice for a change of pace.. i cant decide if i miss school or not..cause i know when we go back its going to be different..im going to be so swamped... but things have a way of working out... i have to go back a week early... should be alright cause alot of my friends should be there already.. but i dunno.. i love home.. i just want kevin and sarah and rachel and everyone here.. that would be the best summer ever if that was the case.. hopefully ill see sarah in a week or so b4 she goes away.. or else it will be over a month til i see her.. and ic ant do that... it doesnt help that i made a mix called the "i miss you mix" lol its a real upper u can imagine... ~TH~ 1 comment|post comment

"you dont have to stay" [26 May 2005|03:42pm] [ mood | frustrated ] so i was happy for a minute.. and now im just frustrated.. i got a job .. at hot topic! kick asssssss... but its not a lot of hours.. but its gonna kick asssss... i was supposed to go see star wars but now im not... sarah was going to come.. but now it looks like she wolnt be coming this weekend.. it just seems as if this is not workin now... its hard.. but i dont think the trying is enough right now.. sigh ill deal with it... so heres to another boring ass weekend... ~TH~ 1 comment|post comment

" stay right where i can see you" [23 May 2005|09:51pm] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | mom on the phone.. errrr ] For months you've been away, You're here a couple of days, And I've got all of the time in the world, To do with what we please, If it were up to me, We'd have all of the time in the world Just stay right where i can see you, When you go away i get so lo-o-ow Like temperatures when they're at their coldest, When you go away i get so lo-o-nley, And i'm stranded by the side of her bed I can name all 50 states, 48 get in the way, From me being next to you, If it were up to me, We'd have everything we need, You'd have me and i'd have you Just stay right where i can be anyone you want, I'm glad i got the job, And we've got something in mind, But i've got all this time When you go away i get so lo-o-ow Like temperatures when they're at their coldest, When you go away i get so lo-o-nley, And i'm stranded by the side of her bed Stay right where i can see you, Stay right where i can... I can see you... When you go away i get so lo-o-ow Like temperatures when they're at their coldest, When you go away i get so lo-o-nley, And i'm stranded by the side of her bed When you go away i get so lo-o-ow, Like temperatures when they're at their coldest, When you go away i get so lo-o-nley, And i'm stranded by the 1, 2! When you go away i get so lo-o-ow Like temperatures when they're at their coldest, When you go away i get so lo-o-nley, When you go away i get so lo-o-nley, And I'm stranded by the side of her bed. ~ the starting line been home a week.. so tired of it already.. i hasnt quite been christmas break yet which is a very good good thing .. but we shall see how it shapes up or down for that matter... i miss school more then nething.. not the work just the people and knowing some one is always around.. and within walkin distance or such.. i still havent found a job.. i have applied to.. barnes and noble, borders, old country gardens, stanley's, and best buy.. tommorrow ill hit the mall and see if fye or sumtin has nething.. sigh.. i cant wait til i see sarah.. only problem is no one knows when that will be.. or if it will be ... i hate this long distance game.. and i have to make damn well sure it doesnt end up like last fall.. i cant let the distance get in my mind.. neway back to doing nutiin.. im around.. call me!!!!!!! ~TH~ post comment

" got your suitcase, got you leaving smile" [12 May 2005|01:38pm] this is it.. t-minus 2 hours and 20 minutes til my exam.. t-minus 3 hours and 50 minutes til this year is over... less then a day and ill be home... i cant beleive it.. i dont want to study nemore.. my train of thought just isnt there... eeek i cant believe my first year of college is over.. its amazing how things ended up.. not the same way they started at all! but all as worked out for the aboslute best i love it and will miss it tons... ~TH~ post comment

" so your leaving in the morning" [11 May 2005|10:57am] [ mood | scared ] [ music | old mix from junior year summer ] so for once i know im not the only one that feels this way... i want to stay here more then nething but i want to go home too.. i know what id miss if i stay.. and i know what id miss if i went... i just cant help wonder what is left at home.. i know how things were.... my last exam is tommorrow at 4 and then thats it.. i really cant bring myself to study.. cause well i guess if i dont i think it will never come... im just scared cause the last time i felt like this was when i came here... what seems liek a very long time ago... i just cant help but wonder i guess... could it be the same all over again.. can i make it.. will i last more then two weeks before i dont want to deal with it... im not sayin i will im just saying thats what happened before... and that just me.. its not neone else.. this is going to be the longest hardest summer of my whole life... 3 and half months... thats like the same amout of time that this semester was... i cant imagine... im going to miss this like no other... my heart cant even comprehend this pain again.. or how much pain ill be in come friday nite... ~TH~ post comment

" maybe he wolnt find out " [10 May 2005|09:20am] [ mood | pessimistic ] ill try not to make it a big deal... but i cant promise.. thats just the way i am.. if it makes u feel anybetter.. i couldnt fall asleep last nite.. first final in 40 minutes.. just wanna take it and be done ... be done done done.... the more i sit here and wait the more i just want to be done and go home.. yay for this being the last spanish test i ever ever ever have to take... i guess i should review some more... and getting dressed helps too.... ~TH~ post comment

" when the rain comes they run and hide thier heads" [02 May 2005|04:18pm] [ mood | frustrated ] so what should be a good last week is turning sucky i have no motivation but yet i have to do a skit wednesday that i just dont think will work.. test today i fucked up cause it just dont matter... and now what shoulda been a nice week with sarah is over lol.. she is pissed cause they entered her in some race thing in jabib this weekend and crew is supposed to be over and she has a ton of papers and work and then finals to do.. so most likely she wolnt be here from thursday to mayb sunday.. ewww sucky... more for here but still sucky... yay for another week of quick gnites.. now its gonna rain and im bored dont want it to rain.. rain sucks.. neway guess thats its.. yay for home in 10 days... ~TH~ post comment

" you kissed me like you ment it" [28 Apr 2005|02:12pm] YAY 6 wonderful, amazing, loving, awesome, incredible, intimate, fun, warm, pasionate, months! i love you sarah S.P + T.H. <3 ~TH~ 1 comment|post comment

" the notes are old, then bend they fold and so do i to a new love" [26 Apr 2005|11:45pm] [ mood | drained ] so close to being done.. one one hand i want it very badly and on the other i dont.. i have been here too long.. but i dont want to miss my friends and my lovely sarah... but in think some time apart will be good.. i need to straighten some things out.. im developing some issuses.. but alas what i mean by time apart is like two weeks .. i saw by may 27 ill be depressed and missing sarah a ton.. dad called me today told me he may have a job for me.. like mon-thur 9-5 nice huh.. no fridays or weekends.. could be very very benificial.. other then that i have a cold and feel kinda crappy.. though better then i did last nite and sunday... this week shall be quick.. 6 month anniv. for me and sarah on thrusday.. got her some nice little presents. :) then we r going to dinner in annapolis on friday.. she has a race on sat and sunday is may day when we all get to run around naked! and or play in the softball tournament.. im think boxers vans and a baseball cap! so neway i think it bed time.. o o one more thing.. my creepy roomate is havin friends over to spend the weekend... EEK two grls... GRLS he talks to grls? WTF?!?! this could be really wierd. based on him i could end up dead or seriously violated.. i have a feeling they art normal grls.. ~TH~ post comment

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