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Geneive's Journal

1st March, 2004. 6:50 am. To my Daddy

Why did you have to go.
you left me to a world of hate and pain. Every day I wonder why you had to die. I cant take the guilt and sham. I hate knowing that your not going to be here in the future. It's just those simple little things like, when i graduate from highschool your not going to be there for me when my name gets called. Or when I go to prom your not going to see me in a dress, and your not going to see when that day comes, when Im asked to be marries, and you won't walk me down the ile. And when I have kids, you wont be able to here the words Grampa. In my life time I never thought that you would have to leave so early in my life. Now I sit up wondering night after night why did you decide to let go. I will always be your little girl.

I love you Daddy,

1st March, 2004. 8:47 am. do they really do it?..............

When I read all the journals about cutting yourself, I asked meself are they telling the truth or are they just saying things for just to be noticed? When people look at me they dont see a girl who cuts themself, but it feels like that is the best way to get my anger out. i always feel depresed, so when I cant take anymore I cut myself. I normaly cut my legs, but I have a few on my arms. Ever since my father died and then not even a month after he died I had to move up here to Alaska. I mean out of all the places in the US, my mom choose Alaska. I miss Ohio a lot. I miss even more my friends and the warm weather. Its so cold here. I cant stand it. There is like no fun things to do here, besides smoke weed legally. But thats about it ohh and ride 4-wheelers into town. Or so what they call town here.

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