Damn, I slept all day yesterday. I went home from school early because I wasn't feeling well, I had a headache. I slept from about 11am to 7pm, then I woke up and ate dinner and went back to sleep at about 10. LOL. I feel better now though. I wanna breakdance. Peace.
So much has happened since I was last here, I don't know where to start......
I've hurt a few people the past few weeks. Both of them were my best friends, the few honest people that I know who will really be there for me. Friends are everything to some people, and I almost lost all of them that mattered.
I hooked up with my best friends ex while they were trying to get back together. The whole situation was horrible. They kept hooking up with each others friends. Both of these people being my friends, I was trying to give both of them advice. I told them if they're going to see other people on whatever level, whether it be casual dating or lustful, they should do so with people they don't know, not best friends. They hooked up with each others friends and the whole thing blew up. I criticized both of them for it, and then I become the biggest hypocrit in the worst way.
I resisted as much as I could, but alcohol dulls judgement. I'm not making excuses, I know it's not an excuse. Nothing sexual happened. We just fooled around. I knew I was hurting my friend by doing what I did. I knew it while it happened and even more so the next day. I was so scared to call him and tell him what I did. I knew he would be mad, he had every right to be, and I knew that it had to be me to tell him. He took it better than I thought he would. He said he wasn't mad at me, just shocked, dissapointed. That hurt so much, that I dissapointed my best friend, and I knew he was right. The situation got to the point where he wanted to take his life. I knew he wouldn't be at that point if I had not done what I did. This ate me alive. I wanted to cry. I couldn't believe what I had done and how I had hurt my friend. He is one of the only honest people in my life who doesn't criticize me and judge me for everything. Through out all of this he insisted he wasn't mad at me, I know he was. It was so hard to apologize, even though I did several times. Each time was hard, I knew that my words weren't enough, but I didnt' know what else to do. The guilt was driving me crazy. I had to tell someone who I knew would listen, who I knew I could trust.
I told Rina, deep down I knew she would be mad. I didn't think she would be so mad, I didn't even consider the people I would hurt. Rina was mad because it was one of her friends I hooked up with. She was dissapointed in me, rightfully so. I couldn't believe I was letting her down again. I've let her down so much, I had hoped I would never do it again. It broke my heart that what I did effected her so much and she wasn't even directly involved. That wasn't fair to her. Like the girl said, Rina is the most important person to me. She's the only one who I have that connection with, who I trust 100%, who I know will listen to me and help me. I was afraid I'd lose her, and I almost did. That sunday, I thought I had lost two of the most important people to me.
I was given a second chance by both of them. I know I'm lucky to have both of them as my friends. I still feel uncomfortable around one of them, not Rina. I feel I owe him something, I know I do. He's still depressed, not knowing what to make of everything. I can see it in the way he acts, the way he talks about things. I know a lot of it is because of what I did, I don't know how to fix it. He's getting better though. I hope.
That whole thing changed me, I feel it. I dont' know how, but I just feel different. I don't trust myself anymore. I'm afraid I'm going to do something and I'll lose everyone. All I want to do is sleep. I still dont' know what to make of everything. I can go about my day fine, but when I'm not busy, I just want to go home and sleep. I dunno....
I know things will get better.
WOrk was long today. I was by myself, so it made the day a lot harder. Lately, a lot of people have been asking if I'm dating anyone or if I like anyone. They are so shocked when I say I don't even like anyone. It got me thinking why I'm not diggin on anyone. There were a couple of people that I was crushin on for maybe a week, but that's it. I guess I'm not really diggin on anyone because I'm happy with where I'm at right now. I do miss having that sort of connection with someone like you're in a relationship, but that's a luxury that I can live without. I'm just concentrating on work, school, and bboyin.
THings are a little better with my moms. I think it's because I never talk to her. I'd prefer to keep it that way for now.
I'm gonna go do homework now.......... Great.......x__X ZzZZzzZzZZ
Practice today was good. It was just me and Soulrane. SOulrane is injured though, but he was still practicing. Rodger showed up later, but we were already done. I should probably head to bed, I still haven't slept much. I only slept a couple hours last night and it's starting to catch up to me. PEACE!
yo, tonight was chill. I saw a lot of people today! I was leaving work and I saw momo and lauren. Nothing really exciting about that, but it's always nice to see a familiar face. I saw donallyn and erica!!! I haven't seen them since almost November. I saw Shonnie too. That made me cry. We were at the suncoast in the bowling alley, and we got kicked out because we weren't bowling. We weren't even dancing and we got kicked out. That further proves my point that the Suncoast sucks. I saw Enjay too. That was AWESOME!!!! seriously though, seeing Donallyn, Erica, and Shonnie made my night and made going to the Suncoast worth it.
I practiced a lot today. First with Andrew an d John, then with Jon ray, and then with Josh. I'm kind of sore from the cold, but i'll stretch.
I have to be at church to play handbells at 7:30 am tomorrow. I'm going to be tired, so I should probably head to bed. peace!!!!!!
OMG!!!! Earlier tonight when I was getting ready to go out, I couldn't find my wallet!!!! I started trippin! I tore my car apart, tore apart my room, and looked everywhere in the house. I started to get scared because I thought I might have accidentally left it at PX!!! So I drove up to PX and I found it behind a computer!!!!!!! I'm so lucky!!!!!!!
That put me in such a good mood!!!!! I wanted to cry I was so happy.
We went to Jillians tonight. Drigo, mike, angel, brandon, Ricardo, and Adrian were all there. It was dope. After that we went to Fremont street and danced. It was fun. We had a big circle going for a while. Some drunk guy bet everyone $100 that he was better at popping and that we all sucked...........0___0 ooook
Then when drigo wanted to battle he was all "nah, you dont' wanna battle me" That stuff makes me so mad. Grrrrrrr! I should probably get to bed, I have to work at 8 in the morning :( PEACE!!!!!
Where to start.......
A lot has happened since my last entry with everything. People of the Sun, my family, everything. Most everything that has happened has been negative. I guess I'll start with POTS.
Frank and I had a quarrel. It was very heated. In fact, Frank was ready to knock me out (I'm glad he didn't). Everything that happened with that was a misunderstanding, but even so much was lost. The bboys of the people of the sun are kind of broken up. I think that we all intend to come back, but for now we all need a break. I thought people of the sun was done that night. The thought of losing the crew really broke my heart. I would quit the crew myself before i would let everyone else leave because I had a problem with someone. It would be insanely selfish of me if I stood by and let everything go like that. Fortunately, I talked to Frank after it was all over and we worked things out. I talked to him for almost three hours. Not just about what happened, but everything else too. I really listened to what he had to say. The experience was overall humbling.
My dad has been home from the hospital, and he's doing really well. He was weak at first, but he has gotten a lot stronger. The whole thing with my dad has proved too much for my mom to handle. She's not handling the stress and taking it out on everyone else. I'm really sick of her yelling, her stubborness, and her attitude. When she yells I ask her to calm down and not to yell, and she just gets mad and goes on this guilt trip. I just let her yell now. She think I'm on drugs too. Whatever.
Things are getting better now. I'm determined and motivated for school, working, keepin my head straight at home, and of course I'm still Bboyin. To those from people of the sun, I hope we make it through everything and come out stronger than before. Peace!
Things are so crazy right now. My dad had to go to the hospital last friday. He had a blockage in his stomach. This has happened a few times, and we always worry, but this time was different. He had to have surgery yesterday and they removed part of his bouls (not sure if that's spelled right...). I'm really worried about him this time. I try not to think about it too much. On top of that, I think my dog is dying. He keeps puking and pooping, but he's not eating. That seems just a little odd. I hope everything turns out ok. Peace
~Bboytoad~Kid Invincible~People of the Sun~FunkaDeLix~
I'm never drinking again.
It's been a long time, as usual. Not a whole lot new. I feel like People of the Sun is falling apart. I think there's a big split between the poppers and the bboys. My motivation for the crew is severely fading. I feel like only some of us really want this to be a crew and want to take the dancing to new levels, while others just float along. Whatever, with a crew or not, I'm still a bboy.
Everything else is good. Work is just work, enjoying winter break, just chillin.
OOOOOOOOOO!!!! I went to a party at a club called the beach. OVerall it was bogus, but there was a shooting!!!! POLICE EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!! I COULD'VE DIED!!!!!!!! That's really the only exciting thing that has happened to me lately. MERRY XMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~BboyTOAD~KID INVINCIBLE~FUNKADELLX~ Where's the sun?????????
YO! Today was a fairly good day. I kicked it with Rina in the afternoon. I had a good time, I always enjoy talking and hanging out with her. I'm really glad that we're friends. The level that our relationship is at now is good. We still have the same connection, just in a different way. Practice was ok. It wasn't very hype and I wasn't feeling it that much. It's all good though. There's an event tomorrow, so I'm looking forward to that. I'm going to play retarded computer games now. Peace
~Bboytoad~Kid Invincible~People of the Sun~FunKaDeLiX~
I hate flaky people. For some reason, a lot of the people I'm aquainted with are extremely flaky. I'm talking about not calling back, saying they'll show up somewhere and bailing, fuck that shit. Bboying has been dope as of late. We practice a lot. Wednesday sucked at work. I didn't feel good, and a candle fell on my head. Practice sucked, and I got kind of sick later that night. Karate.
~Bboytoad~Kid Invincible~People of the Sun~FunkadEliX~
I really do hate the Suncoast Casino. A long time ago, I was accused of smoking marijuana in their establishment. It was a toothpick. They sent three security trucks and one security SUV to where I was parked because they claimed they had surveillance of me smoking marijuana in their casino. I was extremely upset that they were accusing me of this because I hadn't touched Marijuana in a LONG time. I thought it was a joke. I let them search my car and they claimed that there were items in my car that labeled me as a drug user. Black and Mild's and water. That was so dumb.
Tonight, we were eating at the Suncoast, and this group of three caucasion males in their early twenties hit me in the head with one of those little creamer containers. I couldn't believe it. There were nine of us sitting at the table and these stupid mother fuckers were throwing cream at me. I stood up and asked why they were throwing shit. Lars stood up too and asked the manager to handle the situation. Then one of the guys stands up and was saying "who's throwing shit!" They were even throwing stuff at another gentleman who was sitting in the corner. One of the guys apologized saying he didn't know anyone was throwing shit. So we all sat down and we resumed our conversation. Mike made a joke and we all laughed and the asshole's who were throwing shit stood up and started shit with us again. They were ready to fight right then and there. They were saying "Lets go RIght now! C'mon". We were all ready to throw down, then security was called, they were escorted out, and we had breakfast. I personally didn't eat because Suncoast food is gross. Everytime I eat there I feel sick, Lars got sick last time he ate there about a week ago, and on top of that, the Suncoast just sucks. Crazy night.
~Bboytoad~Kid Invincible~People of the Sun~FunKadEliX~
So much drama in other peoples lives right now. To all of my friends who are going through hard times right now, I'm here for you. I know that they're strong and will come out of everything stronger.
Halloween was cool. Went to Devils Knight, Drigo, shonnie, soulrane, adrian, and some other bboys were there, it was fun. We were getting down for a while, but then we got tired. SOulrane was sick, and I was injured. We ended up going home and to bed by 2 am. haha. PEACE!
~Bboytoad~People of the SUn~Kid Invincible~FunkaDeLix~
Yo, It's wednesday, technically thursday, but i haven't gone to sleep yet, so it's still wednesday as far as i'm concerned. I only got about an hour and a half of sleep last night, so i'm a little tired, but that's OK!!!!!!! I'm supposed to be grounded Monday through Wednesday night and be home by 11. My mom was calling me and I thought I was going to be in trouble, but turns out she was just worried. So I get to stay out! YEA!
As you may know, my last drinking escapade got me in trouble. I drank way too much on an empty stomach. So I got horribly sick. It was great (sarcasm). The next time I drank, it reminded me too much of me getting sick, so I couldn't. That really sucks that I can't drink without it reminding me of puke. So I have a plan. I'm going to start by only drinking a little, and gradually get rid of the painful and gross reminder of getting sick. I started tonight with just one drink. A small Rum-Coke. It was ok. I'm getting there.
I've been talking to Gabby lately. It's always nice to talk to her and really enjoy it. I only talk to her online though. That's because she never calls or returns messages, but that's ok. haha. I'm hoping we can kick it soon. I owe her a hug because last time I saw her I didn't give her one, which is kind of rude, sorry. Anyways, I'll update again later, Peace
~Bboytoad~People of the Sun~FunkAdeLix~Kid Invincible~
Things have been good lately. I settled by issues with AJ, so we're cool now. That was really the only stress I had in my life at the time.
Anyways, I went to Costco on Sunday for what I thought was an interview. It really wasn't, they just wanted another application. I spent an hour in their break room waiting until someone came and told me that they didn't have time for an interview. I spent that hour watching the football game. Oddly enough, I really do enjoy watching football, it's the only sport I do like to watch. S.F. is my team, unfortunately. I was thinking which position must suck the most on a football team. I think it would suck the most to be the punter. Think about it, a team only punts when they don't make a first down and aren't close enough to make a FG. So, the punter will only be on the field when the team fucked up. I bet the teams hates the punter because if he's on the field, the team messed up. HAHA. It's just funny to me. Whatever. Peace!
~BboyTOAD~People of the Sun~Kid Invincible~FUnKAdELiX~
I've been hearing that Arnez is still upset, even though I thought that all that shit was done. You act cold to me when I see you, say that if the crew was really like a family, what happened would not have happened, and really don't even speak to me when I see you. I gave you the option of staying in the crew. I was being considerate, polite, and understanding. There were no personal issues in me asking you to step down from the crew. You made it seem like you weren't talking it personally. You fucking liar. If you have a problem, why don't you have some respect and decency to say something. I spoke with you about my issues and even tried to help you with lars' issues. I spoke with you because I didn't want us to be on bad terms. You acting cold to me, having issues and not wanting to do anything about them shows me that you don't care about a friendship and don't want one. I feel like a fool for what I did for you, I feel used. Other people might be upset on the action I took. If everyone feels like I should not have done what I did, then please tell me, and I will apologize, and then everyone can make a decision. Arnez, if you truly have a problem, come to me and tell me. At least give me that respect. Don't just talk shit. Believe me, I will be telling this to you as soon as I battle you and get out any aggression I may have, if you show up. It really is a shame because I was willing to do a lot for you, I really respected you, and I really valued our friendship. That's why I want this settled. I don't know if I can have the same close friendship with you. As far as the way I feel about your personal issues i.e. Kristen, I will not hold any of your decisions against you, ever. That really isn't my business and I don't care about them anymore. That's your shit and I don't want to be a part of it. Just remember, you were hanging out with us, then you disappeared for about a month to hang out with Dennis and party and do whatever, look what kind of friend he turned out to be, and look at what me and my FAMILY were willing to do for you. My FAMILY! No more. No longer will I bother having pity for you. If anything, you will be someone who breaks who comes to People of the Sun practices, if you show up, and we will be on friendly terms I hope. I'm going to battle you, that will make me feel much better. Then I will speak with you on these issues. Peace.
On a lighter note, it was fun hanging out with Justin and Lars and Shaun. We ate at Denny's and then planned on drinking. But I wasn't really that eager to drink once I started. It sounded fun, but the drink reminded me too much of the last time I drank. I got really sick. So I don't think that I'll be drinking for a while, which I suppose is a good thing. Tomorrow's practice and today's practice are going to be fun. I'm looking forward to dancing with everyone. So I need to rest so I have energy for the weekend. Peace!
~BboyToad~Kid Invincible~People of the Sun~FunKaDeLix~
The following is a list of things that are gross or would be gross.
1. Puking, barfing, vomiting.
It's just plain gross.
2. Public display of extreme homosexuality in males.
I dont' really care about ones sexual habits or preferences, but when someone is flaming like a firey ball of
gayness rocketing towards me at supersonic speeds, that's just gross.
3. Using the same string of floss more than once.
Think about it......
4. Excreting bodily waste while taking a bath.
6. Old Kool-Aid.
I'm not talking about week old Kool-Aid in the fridge. I'm talking about three weeks old in my room. It gets disturbingly thick, smells oddly sweet, and develops patches of floating mold or some kind of fungus.
7. Sour milk and Rotten Eggs.
8. Cockroaches, spiders, ants, other various bugs.
The come in large numbers with the sole purpose of scaring you, being creepy, and eating your brains!!
9. Overly fake tanning as a result of creams and ultra violet death beds.
I like skin cancer! ..... ok, It's the in the middle of Winter, and your face is not a crisp golden brown from the Bahamas. It's cancer orange!!!!!
10. Excessive use of make up.
It's like those flaky layer biscuits that come in the scary can that says "peel here and get the pants scared off you!", but those flaky layers are on YOUR FACE!
That's all I could think of for the moment. I'll think of more for another day. HAHA! Peace!
~Bboytoad~Kid Invincible~People of the Sun~FunkAdeLiX~
I need to set some stuff straight. Some people in the crew or people who use to be in the crew feel that soulrane and i are too strict about dedication and other things. There's a reason why we are like this, not just because we're assholes. It has taken us well over two years to get a real crew together. With our experience, we have seen that it only takes one person to not be dedicated, one person to fall off, one person to talk shit, or one person to stab someone in the back for it all to fall apart. Garage Squad, AGC, that's what happened. People of the Sun is the first crew that has really been like a family. It's the first crew that worked for us. People of the Sun has real aspirations for the future. We have an event coming up in February. Every single person in the crew is important. I personally feel that the crew does not have time to put up with bullshit from anyone. I understand that AJ has a lot of issues at home. So does Andrew. AJ feels that he has issues with a girl who cheated on him three times. Andrew has a girlfriend too. Andrew is still at practice, is dedicated, and is up front with everything, recently more than I have been in a way. That is why i asked AJ to step down from the crew. I don't want to hear excuses that are bullshit. It is clear to me that AJ is not ready to seriously be a part of this crew. Andrew has to deal with just as much at home, so to me that's not really an excuse. As far as his girlfriend goes, or ex, whatever she is, I feel no sympathy or pity, or anything about that bullshit. After all that Soulrane and I did, this is how we are repayed. It's really a shame. I had hoped that I would receive more respect than what i've gotten. Peace to SOulrane, my brother :Miguel, we're here for you :Drigo, you bring so much love and positivity :Mike and Steve, you guys are dope :Angel, i like when your shoes and shirt match :Frank, you have such a powerful personality and dedication to everything in life worthy of envy :Jon Ray, we're here for you too :Adrian, you get down like no other :Andrew, you have gotten so much better, we know that you want to be here, i'm sorry for not being up front with you :THE LIL BOOGS, for supporting us :UNIKO and SHONNIE, you bring so much soul and style to the session, you are a part of this family :Justin, your help and support are invaluable :To everyone who shows up friday's and saturday's and supports us and brings more positivity, thank you so much : Francis, i look forward to the day you return :To anyone I forgot, i'm sorry (it's like i'm accepting an award or something lol) PEOPLE OF THE SUN! I LOVE YOU! PEACE!!!!!
~BBOYTOAD~KID INVINCIBLE~PEOPLE OF THE SUN~FUNKADELIX~
Well, I found out yesterday that the long awaited PEOPLE OF THE SUN VS. WILDSTYLE is actually going to happen. Finally, after so much hype, it is ready to be arranged. Let me give some back history on this battle.
Guy, that's his actual name, went to LVA with Lars and I. Him and Lars always had a friendly rivalry and always said they would battle, but it never happened. I battled someone named shelby, and got my ass served. I'm a little better now, so I'd like a rematch, and Lars would like to finally put this rivalry down. For the first time, the bboys of people of the sun will need to unite and battle together. It's going to be a 7 on 7 battle I think. We need every person in that crew to be there.
Aj and Andrew both recently battled into the crew. Don't get me wrong, I don't question them as Bboys, but I question the focus and drive they have for bboying and the crew. I don't know if either one of them can have the same focus and fire that I feel in myself, Lars, and Frank. Perhaps I'm being to selfish about the crew in wanting it to go in a certain direction, but I spoke with Lars and he feels the same. It's nothing personal. Just a looming thought.
I'm watching the Matrix Reloaded, after watching it again, I realize that it isn't that good of a movie. It's not a bad movie, but it's not that good either. I'm waiting for X2 to come out on DVD. WOOOOOOO!
~Bboytoad~FUnkadELix~People of the Sun~Kid Invincible~
Navigate: (Previous 20 entries)