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[08 Apr 2006|01:53am]
Well. My mom knows about my journals. Ive had suspicion for a while and im sure of it now. she seems to know everything and theres only one way for that to be possible. i cried last night when she said, "how old do you think you are?? you think you're an adult because you're having sex!" i didnt need to hear that. i know im not going to have sex for a while. omg....i just realized what i dreamt about. me being pregnant. i forgot who i was pregnant by in my dream though. ooh, yea. i member now. ew. lol. and in my dream my stomach looked so deformed for a pregnant lady...and it grew quite fast...i think i was having an alien baby haha.
anywayz. bridgette, angel and angel's parents were on the news last night for angels moms car gettin shot up. i didnt get to watch it. i cried myself to sleep at like 8:30 - 9:00...which is prolly why im up at 2 a.m. but im gunna go back to bed.
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[07 Apr 2006|11:13am]
im honestly over you-know-who. i just dont even care anymore. so britt dont woory bout it, dont worry bout his sn...hes not worth it. havent talked to him in 5 days and i dont reely care. i have a new crush anyway. thats what prolly helped. iono if i was looking too hard to find someone to get over him...but i dont care, it worked, and i reely like him. too bad i hated him not even a year a go. but its all good, i didnt know him when i hated him. his name is danny which is kinda funny. he knows you-know-who and he understands. he said i wasnt the first girl daniel did that shit to. but yeah. im sposed to chill with him sometime this spring break. and im sposed to chill with brandon tuesday. i hope that works out. i think my spring break is gunna be fun. especially since daniels out of the picture. i chilled with angel yesterday. bridgette stayed the night with us. we chilled with kayla, patty for a bit. and chilled at camerons for a bit before that. and i got to see my lindsay boo for a lil bit. im sposed to chill with maria sometime this spring break. she got her license today i think. so HELL YEAH. im so freekin excited. anywho. im with bridgette and angel right now so ima go.

i never thought id be happy again...
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[02 Apr 2006|11:23pm]
nvm....shes not 14. her myspace is a liar. but i still hate it.
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[02 Apr 2006|10:42pm]
omg. i thought things were better. [sorry britt, i have to say it, i know you hate hearing about him....but its a must-write] i saw him today....and things were cool. too bad i found out he dates a fucking 14 year old. he's gunna be 20 on june 14th. what the fuck. thats so fucken low. she looks like a fucken whore. first of all.....its illegal for him to be dating her. i swear to bob im so fuckin pissed. hes hott as a would think he'd go for somebody more HIS age. i hate him. i honestly do this time. i want him out of my life...for good. when you go and date somebody 5......almost 6 years younger than you....theres something wrong. just because she looks/acts older.....doesnt mean she IS older. hes needs to fucken realize this.
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FUCK [01 Apr 2006|11:45pm]
ive screwed things up so fucking bad. i decided to tell bridgette...she SAYS shes not mad at me...but i dont think she thinks of me the same. daniel will probably never talk to me again. not after the message i sent him. then andrea sent him one.....ugh. why did i have to do that? i cant just LET him go. i thought if i just ended everything with him id be okay...what the fuck was i thinking? i wish i never went to the winter formal...none of this would have happened. i wouldve never met him...he wouldnt be such a huge part of my life. i wouldnt be hoping i didnt screw things up for good.
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[01 Apr 2006|10:44am]
well. i dont even know where to begin...
yesterday was bridgettes party and after school everyone got picked up by bridgettes mom. we went to the mall so bridgette and andrea could buy some outfits. everything was cool then. i still felt awkward around bridgette and i know she did too...but we both tried to not let it get to us. well later we ran some more erronds blah blah and brittney,angel, and bridgette all went to get their nails done and danny got picked up by his dad until the party. so it was just me and andrea. well...andrea took out her planner then i did. she showed me that she wrote in on january 29th joey lost his virginity to her and i thought that was so weird since that was the day i lost my virginity. so my planner is opened to the day and i showed her that i wrote "i lost it" and i covered up to her with my finger and she wanted to see but i put my planner away. well. she ended up seeing it and she promised she wouldnt tell anybody. well. once she found out it was daniel. she was like "i have to tell bridgette. i wont tell her tonight since its her birthday, but dont be surprised if i do tell her" which kinda pissed me off. you dont promise to tell nobody then say that shit. oh well. she acted like my best friend for the rest of the day like nothing was new. anywayz. me and andrea wait forever for them to get their nails finished. we end up just going to bridgettes house and waiting there. and andrea tells me a bunch of things about daniel that i reely dont like. so when evryones done at the nail place...we go to angels and i get on the computer and send daniel a HUGE message. basically saying im tired of how he stresses me out, i hate being a fucking back-up girl, i hate how he made things so awkward for me and bridgette, how i think hes an ass-hole and i want him out of my life blah blah. well. we go pick up danny and go to the party. im in a pretty shitty mood if u can imagine. well. i get fucked up. and i forget about everything. so it was a good party. it was so much fun surprisingly. i thought i was gunna have the worst time. but i didnt. and everything was good. until we had to find a designated driver cuz kayla couldnt drive. so some guy drove us who was the most designated we could find at the party. anywayz, i get to angels. and i have a message from daniel. and i read it and i replied back taking back evrything i said to him. how can he do that? i kept apologizin to him..........::sigh:: i just cant imagine losing him.
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[30 Mar 2006|04:44pm]
well today was ok. i enjoy showing evryone my drawings. theres not a single person that didnt laugh and that makes me feel all good inside =] anywho. new seats in study block. i sit next to shaun and amanda on the other side of me. its gunna be even funner now. lunch....crazy as usual. table likes to throw food...yeah....and near the end of todays lunch..they decided once AGAIN to throw one of those brownies with the nuts in it that they rolled up to look like a they just flung it and wherever it ended up landing....then oh well. well. ends up david threw it and it landed at this all black table [except for one polar bear] and well.....they saw him do it and me and shaun are just like.....oh shit! lets act like we dont know what the fuck is going we did. well. they did what i didnt expect them to do. they just told a security guy. and he comes over and asks darrel bout the brownie. darrels like iono what youre talking about....i didnt eat any brownies.....and the other shaun is at the other side of the table laughing his ass off with his mouth full of brownie LMAO but the security guy notices the other table has a seat that has another brownie in it and a slice of meat [yes, my table put it there....well THREW it there] and a retarded guy sits across from that seat so the security guy just though the retarded guy did it and he didnt ask questions. that retarded guy gets blamed for everything my table does....and doesnt get in trouble lol. so its all good i guess. theatre.....well. ever since tiara found out i dated mouse for like 2 weeks and she told me she was bi....shes been kinda....clingy to me. lol. and im sorry.....but i dont want to date another girl. lol. p.e. well. me and sam worked out the first half of the bell. i put on a few pounds that i just got off a few months a go. and its nothing major but i want it back off so i thought id actually participate today. found out its johns last day that freekin SUCKS. first tom and john. p.e. is never going to be the same. i almost cussed of my p.e. teacher though. we had to run 2 laps at the very end of class and she thought i had just ran one lap i was like i just ran my two im not running a third and then she was like oh yeah thats right. not THAT freekin slow. it doesnt take me 4 minutes to run 1 lap. damn. anywho. i hope to go to the PA vs Bayside baseball game today with brittany. it starts at 4. i told Lio id go.....but i dont wanna go by myself. lol.
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BUSTED!! [28 Mar 2006|10:44pm]
today was fun. i chilled with angel and kayla for a bit. i brought some pictures of me from the ol' days. they couldnt believe what i looked like NOT EVEN two years a go. anywho. later clayton shows up and angel jus HAS to show him the pictures of me. too bad he knew me when i looked like that. then angel called daniel to come to her house JUST to show him the pictures. shes shows him.....and he doesnt know the pictures are of me yet an dhe was like "damn, that bitch is BUSTED!" haha. then he found out it was me and he couldnt believe it. i mean.....a lot has changed since then. my face has gotten SO much cleaer and ive lost 20 pounds and i was like "gah. you hurt my feelings" and he was like "well you look good now" hah. glad he thinks so.
anywho. bridgetes 18th b-day party is on friday. i cant wait. its gunna be soooooo much fun. too bad vicki isnt going. bridgette doesnt want any juggalos or lettes at her 18th party. even though she likes sucks cuz vicki is my jammin buddy. oh well. its still gunna be fun.
oh. jon sent me a message on myspace today and it was like "im moving to ohio tomorrow and since im leaving i thought you should know i think youre fuckin sexy" i replied and was like uhh thanks and i asked him about it and he replied back saying i should skip skool tomorrow and chill with him since its his last day which ill prolly do since i was thinkin bout not goin to skool tomorrow anyway cuz i cant take a shower tonight cuz my step-dad cauked it so it wouldnt leak and i have to wait 24 freakin hours. so yeah.
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[26 Mar 2006|07:07pm]
wow. last night was awesome. other than the fact tht i about gave myself a heart attack from climbing out my window which is on the second story. it didnt work out too well so i ended up sneaking out the back. well. i jump my fence and daniel is already there. i prolly looked like a fucking retard cuz my foot slipped and i fell from the fence and i got a cut in my hand to make me look like jesus. lol. anywho. we get to his crib. you can hear cory and randy playing a game on x box. anywho. it was a good night :]in the morning. we're awaken by cory and randy being crazy. slamming doors. chasing eachother with water guns in the house. and theyre sposed to be 16 hahaha. anywho. we chilled for a bit then daniel dropped me off. i go in my house quietly through the side door cuz evryone is home and i decide to hide in the closet til the coast is clear. i end up wating in tht closet for 2 1/2 hours. no lie. i did not want my mother asking me where ive been. anywho. i dont get caught. im jus good like tht. ive stayed the night at his house 4 times......and havent been asked about where ive been cuz i kno how to get away with this shit ahahaha. well. ima go. peace out.
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tan-o-holic [24 Mar 2006|08:27pm]
jus got back from my second time tanning. i hope i get more results this time. ugh. i THINK clare is coming here tomorrow. but im not sure. ugh. i wish her plane would just......CRASH!! i dont wish her death.........just a lot of injury and pain!! maybe shed get paralyzed ^_^ thtll work. anywho. i chilled with maria for a bit today. its so great talking to her cuz like.....shes like the only person that understands where im coming from with the daniel thing since she lost it to his brother. lol. and theyre SO much alike. so it was great. too bad her friend ashley just reminded her after i got there that she promised shed go to church with her today so our chill time was cut short. but its okay. next time we'll hopefully have more time. anywho. hope to chill with daniel before clare gets here. hopefully tonight. he told me to call him when i got back from tanning so i did and hes going to wash his car now and he'll call me later. so im hoping so. but yeah. im bored. so ima go. PEACE.
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why cant i just TRUST him? [22 Mar 2006|05:54pm]
[ mood | envious ]

dood. i feel like i am jus over-reacting with everything. i get online last night and daniel has an away message up that says "haha <3 skeet skeet! " and i automatically assume hes got a girl over there. cuz thats just how he is. but i asked him about it in a joking way and i find out i need to just trust him a little more. but maybe not. i mean...clare is coming here in a few days >.< ughhhh. not liking that. anywho. im getting birth control soon for my periods. yupp. excited cuz they are seriously annoying the shit outta me right now. oh. and i went tanning for the first time ever yesterday. so excited im not gunna be pale for much longer

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