| Sometimes Circles Run Around You.... |
|
|
| 03:44pm 10/03/2004 |
| |
mood:  curious music: Count the Stars - Fireflies
|
Yea i knew I'd be a slacker and wait to update but here ya go;) I'd like to say I am poor as dirt! I have about $6 and I planned on spending that on St. Patty's Day Presents for the Boys and Shan. I wore my green chucks today because they looked cool with my green JamisonParker with my fave saying on it : Love Is A Four Letter Word. Well actually my saying is Boys Are Like Parking Spaces, All the good ones are handicapped or taken:) But the Love one is super too! I am so gonna make myself a shirt that says PRETTY IS THE NEW PHAT, cause i was talking to my mom and called a guys shirt pretty and she was like pretty, how can it be pretty and she was like is pretty like the new phat? I thought it was funny. I hate when i get back from class cause I get down cause I hate being alone. I worked on my resume today, it's so scattered which I find funny cause it's totally like my career options/ goals. I wanna be a little bit of everything all rolled in to one like the song Bitch by ATM says;) Current fun options: Tattoo Artist, Zamboni Driver, The person who does the sweeping in curling, Band photographer. I think I'm gonna apply with record labels (No ryan and blue that does not mean I can get you free tix to all the shows, but I will hook you up with whatever I can;)) I found an opening at BMG music in Cali but I wanna check out Vagrant and Drive Thru maybe Triple Crown, Victory, A&M or Arista, I'd love to work for Epic, GC BABAY! Well I'm gonna try to do some job hunting online now.
Hero Of the Day: Blue (i know I told him he was my hero today but I forget why, but it's all good:)) |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| It hurts a whole lot but it's missed when it's gone........... |
|
|
| 01:27am 06/03/2004 |
| |
mood:  frustrated music: Empty Apartment by Yellowcard
|
I'm gonna start a new thing here, maybe it will help me to remember to write in this thing. It's my hero of the day. Everyday I consider someone my hero and I figured I could just keep track of it here:) so here goes:
Hero Of The Day For March 5th 2004: The Nice Older Lady Who Works At Walmart, she was sweet to us and said she had magenta hair in the 50's, she also told me to do what I want and have fun. So Congrats nice Lady at Walmart for today you are my hero.
Ok so I've been pretty up and down all week, last night was a tough one, note to self when you're down do not watch pearl harbor because seeing people who are in love never helps the situation and Josh Hartnett dying is def a bad thing. And the added coincidence in the movie def made my mind get to thinking about something I hate thinking about. I wrote a long email to the banana about stuff cause I really haven't been talkin to people about the stuff that's been hurting my head and heart lately. Well it's 1:30 now maybe I'll go to bed, I've come to realize that I have the greatest dreams, I love living there, in my dream world, I'm hardly ever sad there, it's kinda the opposite of real world and I like it there. I've got a lot of pressure on me with graduation coming up, I have no idea what I actually want to do after i graduate, nothing at all interests me. Except being in a band or making Scitz a national clothing line. Sigh and there's the whole lisence issue that everyone has been on my case about. And I still have no clue where I am gonna live. And yea I'll stop there the other things that are bothering me no one can help me with. So Good Night and remember tomorrow's Hero Of The Day is wide open so it could possibly be you:) |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| Wishing I was The Angel From Your Nightmare... |
|
|
| 12:57am 02/03/2004 |
| |
mood:  blah music: I Miss You By Blink 182 (cliche I know, but it relates)
|
I guess this is kinda like being lost in space, you try and you try but you always seem to stay stuck in the same spot. I'm def. in a weird spacey mood this week. I actually got some sun today, I think that def helped my mood as I've been pretty down on myself and everything for the past week. Finally got off campus today to, yea it was only for like an hour to go to the mall and micky d's, but hell I needed it!! I got tix for Mest/ Fallout Boy, Something Corporate/ Yellowcard and for Saves The Day. Finally shows to look forward to! Brand New and GC need to come back!!!!!!!! I'm so tempted to take the $200 I've saved for a new digital camara and use it to get a tix home to see Brand New April 15. I swear I have creators block. I can't think of things to make or I'm not inspired or something. How is it that when I have no time and like a big test to study for or something I'm more inspired then anything, then I have a week to sit and make stuff and I have no inspiration what so ever. At hot topic they have the coooooolest St. Patty's Day outfit ever. So i came home to try to make it but I messed up the shirt, I dyed it all green and stuff but then had to move it to take a shower and I ended up putting it next to something I dyed blue and the blue ran on to the green:(:(:( I'm crushed!!! It was working so well! I wish I wasn't so poor I'd just buy the outfit instead of trying to make it. I decided I'm working a bunch this week so I can buy it with that money. We'll see how long that commitment lasts. I def have St. Patty's Day Hair, I'm pretty proud of it:) However there are few people here to show it to seeing as everyone is out having fun somewhere. Mark liked it, He might be going to bike week tomorrow, I'd love to go, get to see the OCC boys, that'd rock, but I'm sure I'll be sitting here again as always. Blah! Well, seeing as I've hit the creative low I think I'm gonna go to bed. Or Maybe I'll work on my occ shirt, we'll see, bye bye |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| I'm losing the sparkel in my eyes... |
|
|
| 10:14pm 22/02/2004 |
| |
mood:  depressed music: Bring Me Everything by The City Drive
|
Another wasted weekend. I pretty much got nothing done and was extremely bored all weekend, and guess what it's a week until spring break, yay a whole week to be bored out of my mind and have to much time to think about things I don't want to think about. I been really down this weekend, it's quite annoying, I seem to get this way every couple of weeks when the monotony catches up with me again. I tried writing a song on my bass last night, turns out I can't figure out how to make music sound good. I really want to go see The City Drive, unfortunately they only play in Cali currently. I got a few more of thier songs online today and I totally love them. Well back to studying Marine Mammals again, boooo! |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| This Is So Messed Up... |
|
|
| 12:11am 20/02/2004 |
| |
mood:  confused music: Destroy Something Beautiful - Paint The Town Lonely
|
Life, the most confusing thing in the world. My mind is so conflicted about how I should feel right now and how I should act. Graduation isn't to far off, and I am sick of being so lonely. I've had a lot of up and down days lately and it's getting annoying. And I'm also sick which sucks. I really think I just need someone to have a serious talk with, a shoulder to cry on. I'm kinda upset about homecoming but more because I knew I never really had and chance and plus now I have no where to wear the dress I made. It came along pretty well, I really like the corset top part. I want to be able to go to a dance with someone and have fun and kinda just have a chance to get all girly. I never get to get all made up and stuff. Well, I'm off to bed, maybe tonight I'll be able to sleep unlike last night where I was up till like 5:30am coughing. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| this smile on MY face, it's only for YOU.... |
|
|
| 04:40pm 03/02/2004 |
| |
mood:  pleased music: Spitalfield - Wishing Well
|
Some people are just so much cooler then some other people. The past 2 weeks I think i've been finding myself, becoming an individual. And to tell you the truth I have been pretty happy lately, though yea i think a few other factors are playing into that;) I technically sold my first scitz shirt today. Got the money and everything. So yea that's pretty cool, I wish I had something to cool to spend the money from it on, it will probably end up paying for my tic for IPS tomorrow;) I thought I'd just do an entry today to just kinda get what I'm thinking about out there. I've been reading the book Nothing Feels Good, and I am totally in love witht he way the author explains emo. It's so full of poetic observations. It's very inspiring. Today Juevy was great, i totally got involved in the discussion that Marshall started, saying that a person can't be both dominantly logical and creative. My arguement was that in society weren't aren't allowed to be both. we are forced to go to schools where our creativity is stifled and seen as a bad quailty to posess. I for a fact know that I learn much better when i get to work with chaos instead of structure. I embrace that fact that I am a artist with all my being, but when i go to class I have to put myself aside and be stiff and boring and memorize useless things that I can't apply to real life. I think a person could be both Logcal and Creative if they were given the chance. Well That's my thought of the day. Bye |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| And I can see your smile when I close my eyes, like it's tattooed on my eyelids.... |
|
|
| 10:11am 30/01/2004 |
| |
mood:  giddy music: the juliana theory- understand the dream is over
|
Shannon is so right I am extremely boy crazy! I totally bombed that marine mammals test. But because I'm boy crazy I was only upset about it for the hour I was taking it and about half way through the walk home. Sigh! Well, i'm totally skipping spanish right now, me and Britney had this skipping planned since Monday. For me it's a unofficial senior skip day;) This weekend I plan to make lots of clothes, I haven't made myself anything besides my vinnie shirt since I've gotten back! We will be turning in our homecoming king/ queen sign up today. To tell you the truth I'd be psyched to win but I'm pretty positive I won't. I actually have something school related that I'm excited about, that's weird! I've already got b-106's vote, got Patrick's vote and Josh, and Michelle. I'm sure I can find a few more:) Well, I think it's nap time for me, Worldwide WHAT? |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away.... |
|
|
| 09:39pm 25/01/2004 |
| |
mood:  sick music: Malcolm in the Middle
|
So yea, It seems I only break promises I make to myself. I def. had 6 screwdrivers last night and am def. feeling it today. But it's ok, I did acomplish something in my drunken state and that was talk to someone I really wanted to get to know better. I think it brought us a little closer. I also dyed my hair yesterday. I got a lot of compliments on it at Jen's party. Ok my head hurts to much to type much more, I'm sure I'll write more once this headache is gone. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| life as we know it.... |
|
|
| 01:37am 24/01/2004 |
| |
mood: confused music: Taking Back Sunday-Bonus Moshpit Part 2 (Live On IMX 12-03-03)-nailedshut.com
|
This world is a weird place and as strange as I am I never feel like I fit in. The night was interesting, it was at least better then sitting alone in my apartment but it did make me do some thinking, which when it comes to me isn't the greatest thing. But I def. would like to trade love in for a super power, that's for sure. I want to either fly or breathe underwater. Both options seem to offer a certain freedom which seems to be the thing I'm missing in life. Freedom from everything, esp. falling in love. Ok before I devulge to much information again I'm going to bed. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| I'm sure the view from heaven beats the hell out of mine here.... |
|
|
| 01:46am 22/01/2004 |
| |
mood:  sleepy music: A New Found Glory - Heaven Isn't Too Far Away
|
Ok, to tired to write, so here's what i painted today, just gotta add a background then i'm done, tell me what you think!
 |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| What's up with Will & Grace.... |
|
|
| 05:27pm 20/01/2004 |
| |
mood: content music: Motion City Soundtrack - The Future Freaks Me Out (1)
|
Talked to my mom today and she was laughing at me cause she thinks all my friends are gay. I am being such a slacker! I really am inspired to make stuff but I'm to tired to get up and do it! I was really inspired by the Way Away video from Yellowcard so i'm working on a painting based on it. I drew up the pic for it last night and finished it today at work. Here's the drawing: 
I should get up and paint it, i am so lazy! It totally smells like someone is baking a cake, damn them now I'm hungry! I def. have to go find something to get caleb for his birthday, me and my last minute-ness! Ok well that's all for now. And no angel's did not scream, but who knows what the future holds;) |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| The Best Thing I Never Had..... |
|
|
| 05:08pm 19/01/2004 |
| |
mood: content music: Danny Smith - Saints
|
Yay!!! Danny Smith emailed me! I had emailed him last night to tell him he needed to come do a show in FL, he said he'd love to and they are hoping to get to the east coast soon:) I rock! hehe. That def. made my day! Let's see went to bio then spanish then speech. Ate lunch at the sub with Caleb while I wrote up the speech i was supposed to write this weekend for Wed. Went to work and did a project for George, went to Interviewing where I was bored to tears and then went back to work to finish the project i was working on. Now I'm home checking email and hoping I wake up some so I can start painting. That pretty much sums up my life, this place is a mess, maybe I'll clean, maybe not;) |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| All I need is a holiday From my vocation as a saint.... |
|
|
| 12:33am 19/01/2004 |
| |
mood:  awake music: Danny Smith - Defeated
|
I spent the day dying my hair, I don't really like how it turned out, oh well in 2 weeks it will fade and I'll have to change it again. I'm really inspired to paint this painting I was inspired to paint, only problem is it's 12:30pm and I have class at 9am. Grr to class!!!! It was a pretty uneventful weekend, just stayed here, made some stuff and def. made a mess! Since I got back from dinner I've pretty much been sitting here searching the internet for things I like. Def. found some awesome Yellowcard stuff, i really really like them, I got their cd when i was home and I'm def. hooked. Sean totally reminds me of Kenny Gaber from the Navigators, which is awesome, Those Gaber's are awesome guys! I totally miss Steve Gaber, he was such a sweetie, even if he was a sox fan;) Hey he's still the only guy who's ever paid for a movie for me. I'll never forget how I convinced him to take me to see Pearl Harbor. Fun stuff, I felt so akward the whole time. I also checked out some Jonathan Brandis sites, it's so sad that he killed himself. I was def. crushed when I found out. On a brighter note I finally found Danny Smith's new band! The City Drive, let me just say wow!!!!!! The stuff from his old band was not this good. I really hope they come to FL sometime soon so I can go see them live. (Yes none of you know who danny smith is but oh well, if I told you where I saw him first you'd laugh). My suggestion is to check them out now! www.the-city-drive.com
I didn't post my Mark from spitalfield pics so here they are:) #3 is by far the best ever!
http://img13.photobucket.com/albums/v37/WakeUpDead/Shirts%20I%20Made/MyNewFavePics.jpg
 |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| I never Start the show..... |
|
|
| 01:11am 18/01/2004 |
| |
mood:  artistic music: Tell That Mick He Just Made My List Of Things To Do by FOB
|
Well, I sat around all day and made clothes, I'd post pics but I only took in 2 shirts, made a corset which I still need to fix so it fits me better and made a shirt like Vinnie's which I have to finish by putting on the buttons and find a way to make it bigger. And then at 11:30 i decided I wanted to paint.
I think it says something about where I am in my life, what I think about what I feel. It onlys says that stuff to me, but I hope other people at least think it's a cool pic. Any constructive critisim you can give me would be greatly appreciated as I am really bad at judging anything i make as I'm a perfectionist when it comes to my art. Well, That's my life for the moment. P.S. Spitalfield rocks my socks! |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| Make sure she knows you told me that too.... |
|
|
| 04:11pm 12/01/2004 |
| |
mood:  determined music: Penny (Perfect For You) by Plain White T's
|
I need to get out of this school. Everyone is connected to everyone else here, I'd like to meet someone who knows no one here at FIT except me. A few more months then it's over, I'll meet new people for once. Went to class this morning then work. At work i read the Simple Plan article in the new AP magazine. It's was very inspiring, which kinda surprised me. But it def. made me want to make a million shirts and just get out there and start selling them. So during my psych class I drew up a bunch of new designs that i could possibly use. Once again a buisness partner would help to choose those that make the cut and become actual shirts. I've had lots of lyrics running through my head lately for new KYB songs, i really should write them down but I'm lazy;) Just sitting here now waiting for Caleb to come over to go to hot topic. I'm pretty much just going to get off campus, this place has become way to routine and monatone. Oh well, that's life at FIT. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| I am paid to spill my guts... |
|
|
| 12:04pm 11/01/2004 |
| |
mood: hopeful music: Miss U by Wakefield
|
I sat around all day yesterday and got nothing done then at 11:30pm I decided I finally had the motivation to do something! I made myself a cool Vinnie from Brand New Shirt. Yea, so now I have like 6 Brand New Shirts, but hey compared to how many GC shirts i have 6 isn't much;) I'm hoping today I'll be more motivated, I just woke up and I just took an online IQ test. My score was 124, I guess that's kinda good. It says That I am a Precision Processor. That means I'm good at solving problems quickly. I'm also resourceful and can think on my feet. But Hey I already knew that,why else would I call myself MacGyver? Hehe. I really really need to get these Scitz shirts done so I can sell them. This summer it would be my dream to have a tent on warped tour so i could sell them there. How freakin awesome would that be??? Touring the country with the greatest bands in history, visiting a new town everyday! I need a partner, someone to take care of the financial stuff and help me get into selling and stuff, I need to find a punky buisness major, but seeing as I think I know all the punky people here that doesn't seem very probabale. I can make the shirts, once I sit down and put my mind to it but that really doesn't leave me with time for the buisness part of it. Also if I was to go on warped I'd need someone to drive me to the shows and someone to work the tent with me. Because you know if GC came up to the tent I toatlly wouldn't pay attention to any of the other customers there;) Plus who wants to tour the country alone? Well actually I do, with my German Shepard named Jesus., but that's different then this;) Dreams man, i've got big ones, just sorta lack the nessecariy resources to make them come true. Well that's it for now. Here's the shirt I made, I like how you can see my coffee table underneath it:):
 |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| I'm afraid you've become everything you hated... |
|
|
| 10:14pm 09/01/2004 |
| |
mood:  contemplative music: Used to be by Time Will Tell
|
Wow, 2 days in a row i'm updating, jeez! Joan of Arcadia was awesome tonight, best yet! I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, in fact last night I didn't get much sleep cause my mind was racing. Shan called last night! Now I have to find lots of money so I can go see her in March. Anyone wanna buy a Scitz Shirt, or 50? I thought about something really weird last night concerning my ex. I think it's really weird what the brain choses to remember and what it choses to forget. I'm trying to buy a new digital camara, I want one that takes pic of what I actually see with the right colors and stuff. I also want a bass amp and new strings for edmund, a sewing machine and a tattoo. I need to not be poor, I still need to buy like $300 worth of books! Monday we might go see sophomore year! Rock! and Thursday, SPITALFIELD!!! I am so slacking, I NEED TO CLEAN AND MAKE SHIRTS!!! I'm keep getting distracted! I also need to learn to play Edmund! Ok, that's all I got, I'm gonna write in the other one, gotta get some stuff out, Bye |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| How can you think about yourself in times like these... |
|
|
| 03:30pm 08/01/2004 |
| |
mood: lazy music: Save Me by Four Star Day
|
I am such a slacker, I haven't written in this in forever. i think it's because I've been real philoshical in my head lately. Kinda just keeping my wandering discovers a secret in my head. I'm missing a lot of people, even though I'm back in FL and that's been on my mind alot lately. the big thing being I don't have shannon to talk to about stuff, so I've kinda just blocked everything out. I did notice that I've been happier lately and a lot less down on myself, for once I wanted to write a song about something not so depressing, which is a big thing for me. I've got this whole thing with one of my friends running through my head alot lately. I've def. seen a lot of turns in the relationships I have with a few people. Some have grown closer while some have drifted so much that I'm not sure if they are even worth the effort anymore. I dropped golf today, and when i went to see if I could get in to juvenile deliquency Dr. Webbe said that i was the most polite, socially acceptable girl out there. Which was pretty cool, I at least know that he doesn't think I'm a waste of space like I think Dr. Gabrenya thinks. I'm really up in the air about the future. I mean I was never scared to graduate 8th grade or HS cause I knew I had somewhere to go next, here I have no where to go. My mom's side of the family really thinks I need to go in to fashion, but I don't have the resources to go to school for it or anything. I need to make it a point to write in this more, I never do and then I read Ryan's and Blue's and feel like such a slacker cause i never write. I need to figure out a lot of things, but luckily lately I haven't felt so down that those things are all I focus on, I'm actually more focused on stuff like my clothing line and even my classes. Well, My apartment is the prime example of chaos so I'm gonna try to clean it now. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| A lesson in procrastination... |
|
|
| 02:16pm 24/11/2003 |
| |
mood:  busy music: Anthem by Good Charlotte
|
well It's been quite a while since i've written in this thing, maybe it's a sign that I'm finally getting a life! Let's see, Concerts- saw Alkaline Trio with Blue and Ryan, Let me saw Matt Skiba is a big guy, kinda surprised me. Saw Something Corporate with Ryan at House of Blues, awesome awesome show! William is so hot;) SoCo never disappoints. Next day was JamisonParker and Hey Mercedes. I was pretty proud of myself at that show, i knew alot more of the words to the songs then i thought I did. Took pics of JamisonParker, 1st show in months that I was allowed to bring a camara into! Haven't got them developed yet but I will. Saw a local show fri night, First Move, Let Me say, WOW! I was impressed, i was not expecting them to be as good as they were! The lead singer totally reminded me of jason which was bad. I think maybe I learned my lesson about drinking this time, i say that now but I know in a few weeks I'll want to drink again so I can express my feelings to people. Drinking backfires on me everytime. I drink to get the nerve up to tell people what i think of them and even to flirt, and what do i do? I end up going home alone, depressed and cry myself to sleep, NO MORE I SAY! From now on when i wanna have fun I'm gonna go out and do something stupid by myself and not just sit around getting drunk with people. There's no sense in me trying to be happy by doing something that just makes me sadder. Ok let's see, thanksgiving is this week, finally done with all the tests and presetations for about a week, unfortuneatly Monday I have 2 more presentations to do! Going to Brad's for Thanksgiving with Lauren and her Mom, Wonder if Brad's crazy "aunt" will think I'm related and hug me and tell me not to do drugs, cause man that was funny! Real Food and it's Free, SCORE! Then Fri. me and blue are going to busch gardens with Jen and Kiki, should be interesting! Ok So Scitz Clothing is getting Big, and I'm getting swamped!!! I NEED HELP!!!! I wish i had a random friend who could just paint with me, or at least motivate me to paint;) I have about 5 bands who want shirts to wear and sell, and i also have random techies here who want free shirts! AHHHHHHHH! I need to sell some stuff so I have $$$$$ so I can make more to sell! I need like start up funds! that'd be cool, just someone drops money on me and I go nuts making shirts! AHHH! Some kid just imed me to say he wants shirts for his band and some to sell! If anyone out there wants to give me money I'd love you forever;) Well that is my life, I stole this thing off some other kids journal so here it is:)
:Ten bands I've been listening to lately:
01: Brand New
02: Taking Back Sunday
03: Good Charlotte (Well DUH!)
04: Plain White T's
05: JamisonParker
06: IPS
07: SOCO
08: Polly Esther (Even though they broke up:()
09: First Move
10: Blink 182
:Nine things I look forward to:
01: Shows
02: foxy's and the Sun with banana
03: BUZZ BAKE SALE! AKA my Birthday;)
04: Seeing Matt The Merch guy and josh formerly of Polly Esther
05: Benjiamima
06: Count The Stars With Ryan
07: Making People happy with xmas presents
08: A Break From Classes and FIT
09: KwitYoBitchin and Scitz Clothing Going Huge!
:Eight things I like to wear:
01: Plaid Bondage pants
02: Shirts i made
03: Chucks
04: GC shirts
05: Brand New Shirts
06: Spitalfield Shirts
07: My Lock, OF COURSE!!!
08: My Slppers and PJ's!
:Seven things that annoy me:
01: School
02: My stomach and how it gets mad when i eat
03: People who are to busy to make time for me
04: Fat Chicks at Punk Shows
05: Mooches
06: People Who put Down GC
07: Drama! Esp. when it's not mine but I'm still stuck in the middle of it
:Six things I love:
01: GOOD CHARLOTTE
02: The turnips
03: Punk Rawk /Shows/ Hair Dye/ Clothes
04: The Banana (and no I'm not a lesbian!)
05: Someone, well 2 people, That I'm afraid to say
06: EDMUND!!!!!! (don't worry guys, It's my bass;))
:Five things I do everyday:
01: Sleep
02: Go Online
03: Talk To Shan
04: listen to GC
05: Drink Pepsi
:Four people I want to spend more time with:
01: Shanana Banana
02: Caleb
03: Ryan
04: Blue and Butthead
:Three movies I could watch over and over again:
01: SLC Punk
02: White Squall
03: The Goonies
:Two of my favorite songs at the moment:
(Well besides Hold on By GC)
01: Sic Transit Gloria by Brand New (Just because i can not get over how amazing the video is!)
02: Still Breathing By Stars Hide Fire
:One thing I'd rather be doing:
01: Making Out with Benji! (Or Joel if Benj is busy;):)nodnod) |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| Rip my heart out... |
|
|
| 04:54pm 16/11/2003 |
| |
mood: bouncy music: Kick Some Ass by Stroke 9
|
|
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
|
|