Poisoned Heart's Blurty
 
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Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in Poisoned Heart's Blurty:

    Thursday, October 23rd, 2003
    2:51 pm
    My Lips..your cheek
    The Scarlet Goodbye
    His name rolled off of her tongue as casually as the air that had just crept past her painted lips.
    Funny, there was nothing casual about him...or them for that matter.
    Every glance, Every conversation was a formality.
    Their eyes danced in a well thought out pattern, a choreographed routine.
    Even their hugs were stiff, quick and dressed up.
    Though seemingly fake, her feelings were so alive.
    Her body staged robotic movement to conceal the wild rhythm of her heart.
    She knew how to calm her emotions and maintain a quiet companionship.

    Well...She used to anyway....

    After becoming better acquainted, the thickness in the air around them began to thin.
    She fell for him, destroying their unwritten contract to remain just friends.

    He froze, ingnoring her outburst of unexpected emotion.
    Everytime she auctioned her heart,
    He crossed his arms over his chest hoping to quiet the bids crying out from beneathe his skin.

    She was too simple.
    Too accessible.
    She was there for his taking, but not what he wanted.
    So he turned his back to her completely.
    Leaving her with nothing, not even their tight, yet comfortable, friendship.

    Her frostbit fingertips stopped tapping his ice cold shoulder.
    He wouldn't turn to her, or warm to her touch.

    In one last attempt to steal his affection,
    She stood right in front of him burning a feirce stare into his distant eyes.
    A solitary tear slid down her face as she pressed her painted lips against his cheek.
    Leaving the mark of a Scarlet GoodBye.

    4:30am
    10-21-03
    (this is what working midnights does to you lol)

    Current Mood: creative
    Current Music: just like heaven-the cure
    Sunday, June 8th, 2003
    12:29 am
    this is what dreams are made of
    i love amber and kourtney
    Wednesday, May 28th, 2003
    1:15 am
    This is me with the words on the tip of my tongue....
    Here i sit, alone of course.

    i'm wearing a disgusting long sleeved hurley shirt that has holes and stains all over it. i refuse to get rid of it Why?? because it once belonged to my ~j.f.~ and lately it's the closest i can get to him.

    i'm a disgrace. i drove past his house last night and bawled... yep, quite aware that i'm a loser. why can't i let him go?? why am i in love with someone i will NEVER, in all my life, have?? i hate myself for my uncontrollable emotional attachment to him. for the past 7-8-9 months i have been lying to myself and all my friends.

    "i don't see him that way anymore," i say.

    i'm a liar

    i DO see him that way. my heart belongs to him...he owns it and he's well aware of it.

    and then there's ~e.h.~...who i could totally fall for, if he let me and i let him. he's amazing. our kiss was electric. he made me dizzy for days afterwards and then left me hanging by the taste of lips...i could punch him for his repeated promise...

    me: ~e.h.~ promise me you won't disappear again. i might miss you...alot.

    him: i won't

    me: say it again

    him: i won't

    me: one more time

    him: i won't

    me: *smiles* okay that's enough
    (5 solid minutes of embracing goes by)

    him: hey ~a.i.~?

    me: yeah?

    him: i won't

    *melt to the floor*

    um yeah...he lied. so i'm back to last summer again....still in love with my high school flame and still experiencing occasional, yet intense, butterflies with mr. maybe.

    i'm exhausted.

    Current Mood: crushed
    Current Music: don't push love away-juliana theory
    Tuesday, May 27th, 2003
    1:09 pm
    stuck on you
    i love kork and amber they own my heart

    i feel like they became so close to my heart <3 before i could even blink. (specially Kourtney cause i've only known her a whole 5 days?? lmfao)

    it's so good to meet people you instantly connect with....kindred spirits you might call them *huge grin*

    speaking of kindred i need to shower so i can spend some time with my girls. yay.


    Current Mood: content
    Current Music: stuck on you-stacie orrico (this song is haunting me!!)
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