9:19PM - Mars Needs Women
Apologies for the title, but I've already used Life On Mars, and, well... yeah.
( Doctor Who episode 4.16/30.16 The Waters Of Mars review )
Current mood: 
excited
excitedCurrent music: Air - Mike Mills
Apologies for the title, but I've already used Life On Mars, and, well... yeah.
( Doctor Who episode 4.16/30.16 The Waters Of Mars review )
excitedHelp settle something for me, team. Michael McIntyre: funny, or the complete opposite?
apatheticTonight - instead of doing the luxurious and joyful marking I could perhaps have been devoting myself to - I spent my hours idling on planet Earth's great time-sink, l'Internet. By chaining mad links together for moments on end, I came across something truly scrumptious, which I am seconds away from sharing with you, dear omnidirectional reader.
This is a link to the first episode of The Skeletor Show (sound vital, not safe for work due to SWEARS), which is basically Skeletor-related segments of old He-Man cartoons with a different dub. I found it almost indecently amusing. Laughed out loud, so I did.
tiredI went onto the Internet and I found this (link to a story on the BBC News website). The giste basique, as the French would not and have never said, is that the head of Tesco reckons a lot of school leavers lack certain basic skills. The government and teachers' unions say that standards in education have never been higher.
To this I will say one thing, government and teachers' unions: standards are not the same as pass rates. *nod*
crankyA friend linked to this: Children Should Be Educated, Say Experts on The Face Of Book. It contains some swears, mind.
In other news, I've just discovered what the French for "LOL" is: "MDR", which stand for "mort de rire". I love life!
What I Have Done Today To Help Boost The Economy
Bought Chuck Season 2 on DVD! "Not Shaken. Just Nerd", according to the front cover. I recently made the following discovery: IT'S GOT FRENCH ON IT. And I'm not talking subtitles - I'm talking the genuine, full-on dubbing. Mustnotexplodemustnotexplodemustnotexplo
Film Reviews
Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs: Yes.
Up: Yes.
blankSad news, friends. Boris, the worryingly-large-but-not-as-worryingly-l
Rest in peace, Boris.
mellowOn Monday I went to the local HMV to pick up the second season of Chuck (I love him so) on DVD, as I'd heard that was when it was going to be released. They didn't have it and, being male, I didn't ask. After checking another couple of shops I returned home empty-handed. They did, however, have the fifth season of House.
Upon my returnage (from the French verb returner, which I totally just made up), I found that the release date for Chuck S2 had been put back a week! I can only assume that was so it didn't clash with House S5. That annoys me somewhat. Are the Great Gods Of DVD Box Set Release Dates thinking people will be confused? Like, someone's going to send an unknowing relative out with the instruction "Yeah... it's a TV series, with five letters in its title... it's about a guy with an amazing talent who has problems in his love life... there's also a hot chick... yeah".
It's not so bad, though, because Cowboy Bebop finally came out in one box set on the same day! I totally own its ass. And also its right ulna, left retina and brainstem. Further in TV land, I'm making my way through Prison Break. I politely asked Helen to put a couple of eps on the most recent time I was in London.
DIGRESSION ALERT: She was also kind enough to indulge me with some French Doctor Who. I somehow held it together and did not explode in a geeky supernova.
And now I'm addicted! I went out and bought the bucket (that is, the complete box set of all four seasons) to get my fill - currently six or seven episodes into the second season. I maybe a little late to that partickler party, but that don't not mean I can't still have me some fun.
I think that's enough negativity to turn it positive again. If not, please write your congressman. And by that, I literally mean the words "your congressman". Like, on a Post-It note, or something.
Ballster out.
crazyThe Wispa Gold is back out there. I have a problem with it, and that is this:
1) I love Wispas.
2) I love caramel.
3) I *really* love gold.
However, I do not like the Wispa Gold. The combination is too sickly for me.
This apart, I'm heading to a wedding reception today, in Ashton-under-Lyne. It's a Ceilidh, which I think means "dancing". I'm a little apprehensive.
lazy
uncomfortableThe very definition of a slow news day (it was yesterday... there's much more news today).
crankyMy dear patriotic and British readers may have seen those adverts for the new Trebor gum. For those from what the French would call "outre-mer" (overseas), Trebor are a company in the UK known for their mints, specifically their extra-strong mints. Well, now, they've branched out into chewing gum. There's a TV advert to herald this, which is mostly rubbish. My favourite part of the campaign, however, is the adverts on the side of bus shelters.
I'm talking, primarily, of the one that says "Sorry it took so long"
DIGRESSION ALERT: It actually says that all in capitals, but I didn't want to shout at you over the Internet, dear reader (except to signal the DIGRESSION ALERT, but... so... yeah...).
So I have the impression that I'm supposed to feel some sort of relief that Trebor now makes a gum, it seems. That the entire nation has been on tenterhooks for many a year, waiting for this to happen. That we can now come out of our homes, hang up the bunting and dance in the streets. What a load of platypus shit.
Today's bad mood is sponsored by work. Thanks for reading.
sadDo you ever get to the stage where you know you should probably write a blog entry, but so much stuff has happened that even if you did a cut it'd all spill out and take over the Internet? Well, dear momentous reader, it's happened to me. So I'll start with the near-annual post I make on results day.
( That aforementioned results day )
The other stuff I've been getting up to tomorrow.
crazyThank you, Air, for your song titles are occasionally batfaeces insane.
Last Monday - the Monday which is not yesterday, but the Monday that was before that, being the Monday that was the 11th of August - I attended a wedding. I decided to take a taxi to the venue. I got in, said where I wanted to go, and the chap behind the wheel said "Do you know the way?"
Now, call me crazy if you'd like, but surely that's the taxi driver's job? The church wasn't outside the city limits or anything. Admittedly, it was on a poorly laid-out estate, but then, surely those are the places taxi drivers are most expected to know? Anyway. I'd learned my lesson from the time before when my taxi driver didn't know where the church was and had the postcode. Ha-HA!
The wedding itself was a good time. Three of my work colleagues were there, and we enjoyed ourselves muchly. One of my colleagues brought his wife and two young boys, and at one point called me "Uncle Simon". Cripes.
Another limited edition chocolate bar has taken to the shelves, so I've donned my reviewing hat and sat down for some quality (street) time with it. All hail the Kit Kat Chunky Caramel! Good. However, this is not the caramel that you would find in the standard Mars/Milky Way: it's that harder stuff that made up the likes of the Caramac bar. Tis weird, but not unwelcome. Still, I'd rather have a regular Kit Kat Chunky. Humph.
Went to Manchester today and saw my good friend Kate, along with her husband, and their little baby boy Oliver. He's a drooler, and he spent some time smashing his toys against the table, but he's very cute. He's the Captain Grumbles that I've spent time with, according to my current Facebook status.
And that's the that.
calmAh, Amateur Transplants.
DIGRESSION ALERT: *runs off to scour iTunes*
Look at this. It's moderately clever.
dorkySo I was walking home when a bus drove past me. There was some sort of advert on the back and I had chance to read the first two lines of it before it chugged off into the distance.
"ATTENTION TEENAGERS!
AGED BETWEEN 13 AND 19?"
Er.
nerdyTime for a thought.
I don't know if this is an original thought or not, but: Hollywood is a front for the Catholic Church.
There's the revered cliché that, if you have sex in a Hollywood horror film, you'll be killed (except for that fun one where you'd only be offed if you hadn't had sex). The thought first struck me, though, off the back of the recent film Four Christmases (IMDb entry here). You might remember it, although it was pretty forgettable.
The lead couple, Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn, were, in one scene, at a counselling session (I think). There were two other couples present and the subject of having children came up. The two other couples wanted to have children, but Reese and Vince didn't. The other couples looked at them like they were either aliens, or something they'd just scraped off their shoes.
DIGRESSION ALERT: Or aliens they'd just scraped off their shoes.
In other words, they were portrayed as being weird. Unusual. Not, y'know, modern people who have made a choice about their lives. By the end of the film, of course, they've seen the "error" of their ways and had a child... just like the Catholic Church would have wanted them to do.
If any of you, dear window-owning readers, have any evidence I can throw on the (admittedly scant up to press) pile, it would be gratefully received.
hyperOn a whim a few months ago, I picked up a book called Bad Science. It's by a chap named Ben Goldacre who has a weekly column of the same name in The Manchester Grauniad. To all intents and purposes, it's a detailed and intelligent rant about the way that science is reported in the media. I'd just like to share with you, in a way that will hopefully not get me sued, some of my favourite moments.
( Funny, arch, true, long )
The book comes highly recommended. It's saddening, maddening and brilliant in equal measures. Plus also funny!
thoughtfulWell, readers, it's been a funny day, all told. Up to today the most exciting thing that had happened all week was that I went to Birmingham on Wednesday. And bought a tie.
DIGRESSION ALERT: I apologise for those last two sentences being delivered in the style of Jeremy Clarkson (seriously, that's how it sounds in my head).
( Bit rambly, not as rewarding as I was hoping it would be )
PS Worried about Futurama. The original cast has to come back when the show comes back, or it just won't work.
PPS Thanks for reading. You're a superstar!
crazyAbout a month ago my computer developed a security leak. Since that time it's become ever more twitchy and jittery; iTunes still has problems simply playing songs, f'r example, and some websites cause IE to crash.
DIGRESSION ALERT: Yes, IE. Sorry, Firefox fans.
This morning, though, the fecal matter connected with the primary air circulation system. There's now a worm inside the computer, which means I can't fire up any of the programs on my user area (I'm logged onto my own machine as a guest at the moment). I've got to the point where I'm very fed up with the whole thing. The way I sees it (bit of Popeye for you there), there are a brace of options once the computer's fixed.
1) Ramp up the firewall and protection stuff to the maximum.
2) Unplug the Internet cable.
I don't like the sound of either option, but something must be done. I am fed up with this choppy, randomised access to the Internet. Maybe the third way is to be a guest on my own computer forever... doesn't sound too appealing, I have to admit.
Be well and leading good lives, my friends.
In the last year I've been to very few concerts. One, in fact. The wondrous Cara Dillon in The Lowry last month. Thankfully she sang her soul-stopping Black Is The Colour (if you like folk music, I recommend that heartfully), so I went home happy.
Now, however, I've got three tickets to see stand-up comedy. See, not many bands can be persuaded to make a stop in the bright and breezy city of Stoke-upon-Trent, the rascals, so I've had to branch out. I've only been to one comedy thing before: Punt & Dennis, also at The Lowry. Now, though, I have billets to see Mr. David Gorman (September 12th), Mr. Edward Byrne (November 24th) and Mr. Alastair Murray (November 27th - and yes, Alastair, at least according to eternal bastion of correctness Wikipedia). I hope they'll have me rolling in the aisles, particularly Ed Byrne, whom I like very much.
The Fanta can is still there.
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