Badfic in Review's Blurty

It burnses us, my precious! ;_;
Title: Guardian, Condemned (This is just the prologue. There's five more chapters of this tripe.)
Author: Iztayul Tepes
Fandom: Genso Suikoden II

This fic has since been removed from its original domain, so I'm mainly ripping on it for posterity's sake. I am thoroughly convinced that the author wrote it as some kind of sick joke.

SCORES:
PLOT: 0/5 (It's a rapefic. With GORUDO. SQUICK.)
CHARACTERIZATION: -1/5 (To quote a friend of mine, "I don't think that fat-old-corrupt-politician-on-blue-uniformed-bishounen-captain action mesh too well. But I could just be closeminded." Also, WeepyUke!Matilda Knights make Baby Jeebus convert to Buddhism.)
TECHNICAL: 5/5 (Unlike a lot of badfic I've seen, the author in question actually has a very good writing style. Too bad she wastes it.)
YE TAEK THAE HIGH ROOD AND AE'LL TAEK THAE LOO ROOD: 100/5 ("...And ae'll be in Scotland afoer yeh...")

Suikoden's not exactly an obscure fandom, but it is sort of cultish and limited to a close-knit group of fans, for the most part. At least it was that way until the third installment hit the shelves. Now I happen to like Suikoden III, even if IMO it isn't the strongest part of the series, but Suikoden II is by far my favorite RPG, ever. There's a lot of viable basis for both het and slash pairings in these games, simply because with a few exceptions none of the characters have a defined canon relationship with anyone (not that that's ever stopped some people, but whatever floats your boat).

This particular author started writing fic for the Suikoden fandom about a year ago and gained enough of a following to start a blog-based RP. At first I hadn't paid much attention since she writes about Suikoden III's Southern Defense Force - to be honest, those guys are just not slashable and I'm more of a Yuber/Albert fan at any rate.

But a few months ago, a couple of people started to write parodies of her work. Lovely, lovely wank ensued, to the effect of the author shrieking and whining that it was OMG LIEK SO MEEN!!!11111!!!!WTF!!!11!!PIE!!1 to mock the author and that parody is plagiarism. Among other things.

I'd read the parodies and thought they were hilarious. So I went to read this author's NC-17 fic out of morbid curiosity.

It's like reading a bad romance novel. Angst. And lots of rape. I don't just mean the sexual assault, either.

( There is no curse in Elvish, Entish or the tongues of men for this treachery. )

There's chapter after chapter of this, resolved by OMG TEH HAWT SEX0RZ between Miklotov and Camus, of course, because that's generally the way most of her fics resolve themselves. I'm not even going to comment on the inherent mind-numbing awfulness of this story, save to let you know that for the sake of your sanity you'd be better off reading something like I Want to Have a Tentacle Enema, which was at least written to be awful on purpose.

Current Mood: amused