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Thursday, April 29th, 2004
4:18 pm - Gone.....kinda like my undergraduate career
I've moved my journal to can read more about my crazy life @:

End of college, end of blurty journal.

current mood: tired
current music: the spinning of your harddrive as you access my other site

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Tuesday, April 20th, 2004
4:27 pm - Trussed out because of stupid broads (and multicable)
What a day/night/morning/afternoon/evening.

It started innocently enough @ 6pm on Saturday -- the circus was back in town -- which is a HUGE deal to ISU -- and yours truely got to run projectors for it and tear it down. Doesn't sound too bad, right?

Before the show even starts, I see the 2 people on earth I would never want to see in a million years. They will remain nameless, but if you know me well enough, then you know who they are. They appear incredibly happy. I actually shed real tears over this sight. I'm not sure what was wrong with me -- it shouldn't have even been an issue. No matter how much I had prepared myself for that moment I knew would come someday, everything flew out the window and I felt like I was in high school again. I built a bridge and got over it -- I was fine by intermission.

Then the tear down began. If you know what multicable (HUGE cable) is or truss (the stuff you hang lights on) was basically my night. In the box, out of the box, horizontal, was a crazy night of coiling this cable. There were about 30 cables all together - most of them were about 100ft. Once the truck was loaded and we got the broads (they're also a type of light we had to wheel across campus) back safely on Braden's dock, it was 8am. I went home and slept for 3 hours and then came back to run a lightboard for a dance show. The show went really well (light cues included, "This one needs to be swampy."). I would also like to thank the submasters who made my life so much easier. I was awake by the Grace of God. I slept from 730pm to 5am and my sleeping patterns have been FUBAR since then.

I have to memorize 25 pictures of fungus with their scientific names for an exam. Isn't that silly?

I have 2 weeks left of school and then I gradumacate. Hard to believe, huh? I'm ready for all this stress to be over with and longing for some relaxation from school. Still working on the job thing......but I have prospects now!

No matter what, sometimes an unexpected phone call can brighten someone's day and soften the blow....thank you.

If worse comes to worse, bring up the lekowash @ lvl 2 and everything will be okay.

Oh yeah, and Laura is awesome.

current mood: tired
current music: Misc music

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Friday, April 16th, 2004
1:23 am - Got bored late at night.....
cuddle and a kiss
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

current mood: Cuddily
current music: The Phantom of the Opera

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Thursday, April 15th, 2004
2:53 pm - Wanted: A Bachelor in Science
About that job thing....I might have a gig in Matoon, IL. It's south, but not south-south, like "Ooohh, I'm on the Atlantic Coast of Florida in the sun" south. It's a cute little down WAY the ____ out there......but I don't know.....

I liken it to dating. So, you meet this guy. Eh, kinda interested.....just friends.....seeing where it'll all go. You go on the big date. Things look good. There is mutal interest in both parties. Still friends. Then, he's like, "I want you to meet my parents." Whoa. There might be a commitment here. Not sure. And then he asks you out. You definatlly like him in the friend realm, but the question remains: Do you go out with him because he's the only one really pursuing you or are you going to go out with him because you want to? I understand this idea of a relationship is a bit at the high school level, but that's the way I feel. Do I take the Matoon job just because I can get in? Do I even really want it? I'd like to have a flexible summer schedule so I can travel and wreak havoc.......I don't know.

After sitting through another long and semi-boring lecture in American Diversity, I've decided that if all else fails I'm moving to this plan:
I'm gonna move back in with my parents and get a nice receptionist position or work as a CNA for X amount of time. I'll find a nice guy (they are actually out there, ladies!!), get married. He can support me and I'll pump out babies every 2-3 years, cook, clean, take care of the kids -- I'll be an awesome housewife. And better yet, I'm hoping I can get Laura and Bridget to jump on this bandwagon - we'll all get houses on the same street in Suburbia, USA and raise our kids. If we're lucky, our kids will intermarry and we'll be family. Volia! Problem solved.

(or I'll move to Florida with a Logan County, Illinois farmer to start an Orange orchard.....inside joke)

Can you see me as a dutiful housewife? At the very least, I can give my kids throat cultures.

But until I can master baking a caserole, it's mac 'n cheese for everyone. C'mon over. I'll just tidy up a bit.

"Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun"
[Pink Floyd]

current mood: 1950's Female College Grad
current music: The songs stuck in my head

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Friday, April 9th, 2004
8:51 am - Queen Me (They call it laughing gas for a reason)
I can't even live up to my name: Bacteria Paladin. I now know how the Cubs feel. Current score:

Bacteria: 264
Chris: 5

The bacteria invaded the last molar on the upper right hand side of my mouth and basically anialated (sp?) it. Thus, I needed a crown. Never had one of these before.....feels kinda weird. Then again, I can't feel the right side of my face, and for the time being, it's a good thing.

I was given the option of nitrous oxide. I've been through 1 oral surgery before, so here I am thinking that they're gonna put me UNDER instead of just numbing everything in my body except for my brain (which would have been even better). As a medical professional, I start freaking out in my head. Sure, I'll take Nitro, but they didn't ask the right things to knock me out: How much do you weigh? Have you ate/drank in the past 12 hours? Are you pregnant (ode to health services)? Are you allergic to anything? Any health problems? And I'm like, whoa, what if I die!? When they put you under, no matter how safe the conditions or small the proceedure, there's always a risk. Just like driving a car, is a risk (like, don't start your manual transmission in gear and take your foot off the clutch for instance.......I did that this morning too). But I can't talk @ this point, the numbness is taking hold, and so I become the complacent patient and just sit there with my mouth "open wide." I figured if that did happen, I'd wake up in Heaven and not have to write my paper. It was a win-win situation. I just let my nerves take a break for awhile and after 2 injections of novocaine and a mask of nitrous later, they said I had "significant damage" and the nerve is gonna be upset for awhile. Great. 50/50 chance of a root canal. Wonderful. I get to go back in 2 weeks to get the real crown instead of this temporary cap for a tooth thing. And I wanna go back......nitrous is awesome.

Now that the laughter has worn off, I need sleep. Going to bed @ 0230 waking up @ 0630 is not a good idea. I have tons to get done today, too. I'm gonna nap for a few hours and then finally finish the paper (God willing).

"Everyone smiles as you drift pass the flowers that grow so incredibly hight....." (Beatles)

current mood: high
current music: Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds (Beatles)

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Thursday, April 8th, 2004
4:03 pm - A Leo.....?
You should be dating a Leo.
23 July - 22 August
This mate is honest and loyal, with a sunny
disposition. Though this lion has the tendency
to be arrogant, sulky or smug, he/she is
unrestrained in bed.

What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
brought to you by Quizilla

current mood: curious
current music: The Lion Sleeps Tonight

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3:50 pm - It could have been worse.....

the United Nations!

Most people think you're ineffective, but you are trying to
completely save the world from itself, so there's always going to be a long
way to go.  You're always the one trying to get friends to talk to each
other, enemies to talk to each other, anyone who can to just talk instead of
beating each other about the head and torso.  Sometimes it works and sometimes
it doesn't, and you get very schizophrenic as a result.  But your heart
is in the right place, and sometimes also in New York.

Take the Country
at the Blue Pyramid

Comments, anyone? (I haven't been to NYC, yet btw)

current mood: Diplomatic
current music: Something international

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Wednesday, April 7th, 2004
3:55 pm - the bottom of a test tube
One of the pesky things I have to deal with post-graduation is finding a place of quasi-perminate residence that is not my parent's house. In order to narrow down my search, I need to find a job. HA! Find a job. That's like trying to find an important paper in my room -- its just not gonna happen anytime soon.

I have a possible roommate up in the Aurora area and she's been looking for apartments and found a few good deals. She calls me today with a bunch of information to get the paperwork rolling and I have to inform her that I have no idea where I'm going to be and can't sign anything until I find something job-wise. I need a job to support myself - I REFUSE to live off my parents unless I'm stuck in a carboard box somewhere (aka extreme circumstances I dont see happening) - and I'm not gonna take a Wal-Mart like job until I "find something better." I did that before and it wasn't the best experience. I'm ready to get out into the field. Actually, I'm ready just to hike it down to Florida.

In the Sunshine State, I need a license to practice medical technology -- no problem. I pay $200 and volia! I'm in the club. The main issue here is that I need to pass my national boards to join the elite Florida med tech club - and they have to get back to me on when my test date is - sometime this summer. So basically, I'm stuck until I pass this stupid exam (assuming I pass it the first time....but @ $145 a pop and with my career waiting on it, I had better!). It could be worse - California doesn't even acknowledge the national exams! They have their own state exam.

It's all very frustrating. Chicago is home, and always will be, but I want to go somewhere else. I have nothing to hold me down and I haven't seen enough of the world to simply say, "Yes, I want to stay in Chicago." I refuse to settle just because that's what worked for my parents. So I'm just gonna wait and see what happens.

Braden Auditorium, here I come!

Do you want fries with your soundcheck?

"Out of college
Money spent
See no future
Pay no rent
All the money's gone
No where to go"
(The Beatles)

current mood: Umemployed
current music: Moving Out (Billy Joel)

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Monday, April 5th, 2004
3:46 pm - Off white and off to work
Tear down and restore.
In high school, a teacher once wrote me a pass with those words on it - I was in progess of taking down a set. Although the stage has changed somewhat, those words apply to our apartment at the moment.

No more "I-swear-we-were-not-on-LSD-when-we-picked-out-the-colors-of-our-walls" paint. It's back to what an off brand of paint (and our landlords) call "off white." I lack conceptual color theory, so its still white to me. Our kitchen and part of our living room are back to the boring white we moved in with. Ah, white walls. I'm going crazy anyway -- it'll fit in nicely.

This week, though it's only Monday, has me already running in 5th gear. Remember back on the 8-bit Nintendo Super Mario Brothers (the original), when you started to run out of time, the music would speed up? That's life right now. I'm just moving at the speed of light - I'm not stressed or upset - everything is just going so quickly -- and my professors keep hitting the B button.

I have to study for 2 exams tomorrow and make my way to work, while simultaniously cleaning up the painting mess that has accumulated and call these laboratory people in California (?) who might help me find a job. And worse, I missed their call earlier so they left a message on my message is "Hi, this is Chris's cellphone. Now you say something." -- eek, I hope they like sarcasam. I should probably change it to something boring. Maybe I'll paint it white.

Returning to studying.......and then returning to the stage. It's funny how things in life come full circle in the end. If you need me, I'll be cramming my brain with useless information by the ghostlight.

"If a picture could paint a thousand words, then why can't I paint you?" - some oldie

current mood: hyper
current music: Tradition (Fiddler on the Roof)

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Sunday, April 4th, 2004
6:57 pm - Yeah. Sure.
In a feeble attempt not to work on the term paper, I got a new color scheme/layout for my online journal.

I found out incredible news last night - CARY GRANT WAS NOT GAY!
For those of you who don't know - I love Cary Grant. He was a famous actor in the 1940s-1960's who is hot - and got even better looking as he aged. If I were alive back then, I would have totally gone for him. The age thing wouldn't have mattered - he married someone 28 years his junior. Just thought I'd clear that up.

I have another job lead.....gotta call them tomorrow and see where that goes. I might end up here in B-N for the summer @ the rate I'm going - which is just fine. I'm really hoping that I'll find somewhere in Florida - I'm ready for that change of pace in life. I am kinda scared, tho, starting over in a part of the country where I know 3 people (second and third cousins). I wasn't as apprehensive about college - then again, its a different environment for meeting people. It just all depends where I end up. I'll be content anywhere, really (except perhaps my parents' house for a long period of time) as long as I'm working and I find a good base of friends.

I always said in the past that I was so ready to leave college - and now that senioritis is in full swing - I am ready to go. I'm really gonna miss the friends and the lifestyle here - well, perhaps not the tests and all the studying. Its weird - the 2 people I started out hating are now my 2 closest friends. I love how life turns things around like that.

I've also been re-evaluating where I am in life; not just career-wise, but spiritually and mentally. 4 years ago I was a different person than I am now - which is expected - it shows I've grown. In somes ways, I've changed for the better, but in other ways, I've fallen a lot from where I used to be. And I want that part back. I didn't change overnight and I don't except to wake up one morning and find everything in place....but I realize what I need to change (which is far too in depth to go into here) and where I need to go from here. I can only see the road a few feet ahead right now - the fog is too great. In time - God's time - it will all come together. Jesus is my stage manager.

Until then, I will continue to stumble - and God will continually pick me up and brush me off. The cycle continues.....and so does the paper writing.

"Nothing changes, but nothing stays the same." (The Moody Blues)

current mood: hopeful
current music: Only Time (Enya)

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Wednesday, March 31st, 2004
3:21 pm - As vague as vague can be......
So yeah.......vaguly speaking........

I had an awesome weekend (when I wasn't @ problems + baby boomers = yuck).
Like, over-the-top, holy cow, whoa, oh my gosh.......WOW!

And I definatlly got my exercise - I haven't experienced "runner's high" in a very long time :) Pulling muscles is fun, too.

The Monday morning walk to class was interesting, too.

Other than random life events that turn out to be REALLY AWESOME, life has kinda slowed down. I have a paper to write, but its nothing that I couldn't get done in a night. I really should just start it and get it over with.....but its so much nicer to sit and chat online. Or stare of into outer space, daydreaming.....................

I got my black cap and gown -- all set for graduation. Now I just need a job. Miami, Detroit, or Chicago?
Do you or anybody you know need a semi-experienced med tech? Let me know :)

I'm gonna get a cool piece of paper for all my hard work the past 4 years on 8 May in the arena! EXCITEMENT! You should totally come see me walk across the stage. This may be the only time you'll actually see me onstage not moving equipment or setting up anything......

Thanks.......I smile everytime I see it. It smells good, too. Ah......

And she's got no secrets.......
Well, now there are secrets. Heheh.
This is gonna get fun :)

[To Whom It May Concern: You've invaded everything else in my life, this should come as no suprise. It doesn't matter, really - I won't be there for long. But don't you have something bigger and better a little more east? Why aren't you there? It makes no sense to me. But then again, you don't make sense except in our own eyes; which I forgot, is the rule of the land. How easily I forget. I hope the screaming keeps you awake at night.]

current mood: cynical
current music: "Things We Said Today" (The Beatles)

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Sunday, March 21st, 2004
3:28 pm - Lights, Biochem, Action!
You know you've out of it when you find yourself sitting on the living room couch on a Sunday afternoon with a biochemistry book on your lap, unshowered, while mindlessly watching NASCAR on TV. (I'd just like to state, for the record, that I HATE NASCAR and could care less about "300 miles of left.") Nonetheless, that is where I found myself today.

I've gotten to the point where I want to do something, but I don't want to do anything. I think I'm so used to running around like a chicken with my head chopped off and all the stress, that when it's finally gone, I'm at a loss of what to do. Free time? What is that? My scientific mind can't handle this, so break out the biochemistry and attempt to finish all my assignments. But its not all bad -- I like androgens :).

The leitmotif of the week is technical theatre. I got to work a sorority/frat dance concert and the programming decided during the second act of the show that it wasn't going to cooperate and basically went haywire. I can run boards, but I can't program them without a lot of time - not something you can do when there are 3,000 people sitting there waiting for you to find the "Go To Cue" button. But that's what happened. Luckily, a friend and the tech director were there to drag me out of the proverbial parcan. It was a wild ride and my body still has the adrenaline flowing through it from the whole ordeal. But once that "glitch" was fixed, the rest was basically smooth sailing. It just took forever to take down -- but I was home by 2am.

Tomorrow I'm working all day, all night, and part of early Tuesday morning. Yay for Broadway plays.

The job search continues.....right now I'm applying to the Chicagoland area and Florida's east coast, most notably the St. Augustine/Ormond Beach region and even Orlando and down by Ft. Lauderdale. The midwest has always been home to me but I'm ready to try something different, even if its just for a little while. Florida is not only radically different, but its cheap to live down there and there are BEACHES! I have not been to the beach enough in the past few years. I haven't heard from anywhere yet that looks promising. Whether I'll make it down there or not has yet to be determined.....

There is way too much homework that I really should be doing. I just want the exams and homework to be over.
I have nothing else to do, so I'm gonna finish the biochem.

I have this feeling that is gonna be a long week. Bring it on.

current mood: relaxed
current music: The bing of IM

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Wednesday, March 17th, 2004
9:36 pm - Spring "brake" and other stops along the way
The trip to Florida was great. Bridget and I had a blast. We drove 18 hours and ended up in Orlando mid-morning. We hung around there for the day, caught up on our sleep (we took turns driving down.....the entire night) and then went to the Magic Kingdom the next day. It was slightly chilly for Florida, like 60 degrees with a cool breeze, but we made the best of it -- even after the "check engine" light came on.
From Orlando, we drove onto Daytona Beach, on the Atlantic. Bridget had never seen the Atlantic and I hadn't seen that area before, so it was new experience. We stayed more inland than the "boardwalk" -- just down the street from the Daytona Speedway. The town was just as my Dad said it was 20 years ago: kinda run down. Everything was old and not kept up - and it really wasn't our cup of tea. We attempted to layout on the beach, but it was windy (sand was blowing everywhere -- there's still sand in my wallet) and much too chilly to enjoy it. So we went to St. Augustine, they first Spanish settlement in the Americas and toured the historical sites and even went on a ghost story tour, in which, I saw and photographed a ghost. Let me know if you wanna see the pictures. We got the car fixed too -- sulinoid short circuting issues, nothing major -- but that too was an adventure. The drive home was long; I drove from midnight to 7am - I started seeing things on the road! It was fun to go, but it was also fun to come home. Friday I went up to my parent's and hung out with friends -- SO incredibly relaxing. And that was my spring break.

Also, just as a warning to you all, I have a full-blown chronic senioritis. It might be contagious.

current mood: chipper
current music: Anything by the Beatles

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Thursday, March 4th, 2004
5:56 pm - "Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming....." (Dory)
I have been moving non-stop this week in preperation for exams and travel.

I did it again. I dyed my hair. I was getting kinda bored as a redhead, so I went with what God gave me -- brown. It's a bit darker than my natural color, but I love it. Redheads may have more fun, but's just one of those things you have to experience for yourself.

Because there is not enough random adventure in our lives, my roommate Bridget and I are driving to Orlando/Daytona, FL for spring break! This should be so exciting! I can't wait to go!

I keep committing random acts of stupidity. Case and point: When I go to Floriday (as I have done in the past), I usually go sit in a tanning bed for ~10 minutes to prime my skin for the Florida sun. But this time, I got toasted. A little "overdone." Needless to say, I'm golden around the edges. I'm not burnt, per say, but my skin is red and feels very uncomfortable. Moral of the story: do not get "burnt" on sensitive skin. There are certain places that were never meant to be burnt......

Exams suck. I took my immunohematology one today and almost started crying during it because what I had studied and what was on the exam were two different things. There are a zillion antibodies to remember, know how they react, which class immunoglobulin they're in.....the list goes on. Thankfully, I have repressed most of the memory. Now, if I had a midterm on tetris, I'd do really well on that.

So, its 2 down 1 to go in the land of exams. Tomorrow is parasitology, which is the study of the little critters that can infection your intestine/eyes/skin -- just about anywhere on your body. Yeah, basically I'm taking a midterm on worms. How cool is that?

Tomorrow I also embark on a quick trip to my home state of Ohio for the second time this week (just don't ask) to visit my high school physics lab partner, Dan, who was also one of my closest friends. I haven't seen him in a couple of years, so it will be good to catch up and hang out with him. :) I'm also excited to get on the road.

And now back to your reguarly scheduled studying session.....

PS) 70. 295. 9. 270. 76. 95. If these numbers mean anything to was awesome. I wish I could post about it!

PSS) I can ice skate!

current mood: rushed
current music: tick-tock of the clock.

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Thursday, February 26th, 2004
1:22 am - Dela......................where?
....So we bought a pack of cigarettes
And Mrs. Wagner's pies
And walked off
To look for America.

"Kathy," I said,
As we boarded a Greyhound in Pittsburgh,
"Michigan seems like a dream to me now.
It took me four days
To hitchhike from Saginaw.
I've come to look for America."

Laughing on the bus,
Playing games with the faces,
She said the man in the gabardine suit
Was a spy
I said, "Be careful,
His bow tie is really a camera."

"Toss me a cigarette,
think there's one in my raincoat."
"We smoked the last one
An hour ago."
So I looked at the scenery,
She read her magazine;
And the moon rose over an open field.

"Kathy, I'm lost," I said,
Though I knew she was sleeping.
"I'm empty and aching and
I don't know why."

Counting the cars
On the New Jersey Turnpike.
They've all come
To look for America,
All come to look for America,
All come to look for America.
(America, By Paul Simon, 1968)

current mood: mischievous
current music: 28 hours of anything that's not country or hardcore rap

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Tuesday, February 24th, 2004
11:07 pm - Klebbed to Death
I'm sorry if I've been remote the past few days, but everything academic suddenly avalanched on me and I'm scrammbling to get things done before spring break and the various capers that I have planned (yes, I'm leaving the midwest!).

The worst part is, I am currently suffering from a disorder called "acute senioritis," and inflammatory condition which greatly inhibits my paper writing skills and affects studying as well.

So here's hoping that this paper will be done soon. Here's to late nights!
c(__) <--- have some coffee with me

Here's a link to the bacteria that my term paper is on. When I did my clinical rotations, this bacteria was commonly isolated - and it's quite common in hospital infections. It's pink when its grown on this specific type of agar, which makes it look cool -- and the it is actually gloppy! (Oh, and ignore the "Corbis" watermark on it -- I borrowed the picture.....)
Klebsiella pneumoniae, the pink bacteria on MacConkey's agar

current mood: geeky
current music: Gears turning in my brain

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Tuesday, February 17th, 2004
2:57 pm - An Army of 1....100 million per mL
Okay, so there are more random things that keep happening to me.

The big event for today was the health job fair in the Bone. I got all dresed up and walked around, handing out my resume to various hospitals throughout the state. I even made business cards - I feel so professional! The job market for med techs looks pretty good - and I talked to a lot of people and actually ran out of resumes to pass out - so here's to hoping that there is a job opening somewhere!

Because of my ROTC days, I was drawn to the Army medical booth. So I talked with the recruiter. Bascially, its the same thing I would have had in ROTC, I'd enlist as a 2nd Lt., but instead of basic training, I'd get officer training geared towards a medical professional. They have some great benefits and really take care of their people, but there's that whole "minimum of a 4 year commitment" thing.....and I'm such a commitment-phobe!

Anyway....most of these tables had goodies. Sometimes I went to a booth just because they had neat stuff (mini FM radio, back massagers, sunglasses holders, bumper stickers, magnents, lunch bags, coin purses, chip clips, business card holders, pens, ect.). Well, at the Army booth, among other stuff, I found something in a clear package that at first glance, I wasn't sure what it was. Being a scientist, and naturally curious, I looked closer and found that it was a rather large-looking condom.

The United States Army is handing out job fairs.

Does this bother anyone else? It shocked me -- it was so out of place! What is this world coming to!? What message are they trying to convey -- be safe, join the army? An army of 1, an army of sperm; here, check out both? I just don't know anymore! Maybe I should just go Air Force, ha ha.

So that was my random event of the day.

And now to do some homework that I really don't want to do. So if the kitchen is clean again, you know I got really bored and never got to the homework.

On a side note, about the Army, they had this REALLY NEAT quick reference card thingy you can put on keychain that has all the laboratory values for blood and stuff like alcohol levels and other medically fun knowledge. I know, only I would think that's neat.

current mood: amused
current music: Kryptonite (3 Doors Down)

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Sunday, February 15th, 2004
9:28 am - Cupid's archery skills suck.
Well, I survived another Valentine's Day.

Nothing could even come close to the terribleness of last year, and thus, this year was bearable. I went home to hang out with my favorite Virgarian friends -- always good times (and then some). It was relaxing - something I am in desparte need of - given the past couple of weeks with tests 'n stuff. I returned to Normal (ha ha yeah, right!) and went to work a spotlight for the basketball game. My favorite ex even showed up - yeah, because I needed to see that. Made my day. (cyclic adenosine monophosphate response, anyone?) I don't want to have to do that again.

The nighttime got better -- after a quick wal-mart run, Laura and the boys came over for dinner and a movie (they even brought a rose! so sweet!). Because I was so tired, the night ended early and it was early to bed for me (like pre-midnight). But it was so nice.

I have so much to do today -- I'm playing catch-up with myself. So I'm skipping church -- I feel really bad about that -- but I've gotten so far behind on my Bible reading and devotionals, I need some time to reconnect with God by myself -- in need of some major quiet time. Not to mention all the stuff I have to do around here, both domestically and academically. Do not, under any circumstance, take 8 classes in college @ once. It'll make your brain hurt.

My roommate got all sexy for her fiance. She bought a red dress that made her look so hot! Heehee, Tony is a lucky guy :).

I need to go climbing @ some point, too. The week looks calm, as far as classes and tests go, and I welcome the lack of exams. Who knows, maybe this week will be great :).

Lorraine Lydia Ruprecht Hohmann
27 May 1916 - 14 February 2003

Ich vermisst du, Oma!
Wir haben ein Teebeteiligtes im Himmel eines Tages......

current mood: blah
current music: Magic Man (Alana Miles)

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Sunday, February 8th, 2004
9:40 pm - Jesus is my stage manager
Ever get to that point in life where you're really hungry, but you're too lazy to make food? I've hit that point.

Fun is great, but don't have so much fun that you get sick.

I love 2:30am suprises!

Question: Why do girls, who are dating the best guys in the world, suddenly break up with them?
Question: Why do all the asshole guys get the dames, but the really sweet, down-to-earth, nice guys who'd do anything for anyone don't?
Girls are so dumb sometimes.

If you want to procrastinate, make sun catchers.

I need to escape town for a little while. It's getting stuffy in here with all the chaotic haphazard dialouge about the past and the current. Because frankly, I don't care. But now its poison.....and I can only filter out so much before the levels become toxic.

Last week it was heme and immuno exams......this week it is micro and biochem exams. Another week of 4am bedtimes.....go me.

I just need to sleep -- for a long time and get that quality sleep that my body is craving -- and missing so much. I hate sleeping by myself.....

The randomness of the past few days need to stop. I feel as though I'm trapped in a "Twilight Zone" episode. All I need now is an orchestra to play at certain moments for effect.

But it'll all work out. God's calling the cues.

"Eyes betray the soul and bear its thinking
Beyond words, they say so many things to me
A stranger here
Reborn it seems
Waking wonders deep in me
If nothing's ventured, nothing's gained
So I must seize the day

It wasn't you
It wasn't me
It wasn't anything
It was a day so long awaited
And a chance to be as me
I let the wind run through my hands
Before I turned to walk away
In distant days I long to sense it all so clear

And fighting time
So hard I pray
That this moment lasts forever
And will the world stay standing still
At least for me
Through my eyes
Stare into me
I bear my heart for all to see
With my face turned to the sun
There ever standing still

And fighting time
So much I ask
I will this moment last forever
Throught seasons change
And things come to pass
Remain inside in me

And fighting time
So hard I pray
That this moment lasts forever
And will the world stay standing still
At least for me

I had no faith before that day
In any vow or deed
Days followed days
And years were meaningless
Despite the wisdom of defeat
I bore my heart for all to see
The wonders I'd seen." ("Standing," by VNV Nation)

To Whom It May Concern: I did not decree the suggestion; it was done independently of me, thankfully enough, but you'll never understand that. Call me anything you'd like, I've heard it all before. You got what you wanted in the end, leave me the ____ out of it. Live and let die, okay?

current mood: complacent
current music: Techno

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Thursday, February 5th, 2004
2:38 am - The Misfits
These lines are from one of my favorite movies, "The Misfits," starring Clark Gable and Marilyn Monroe (the last movie for both of them before they died). It came out in 1961 and totally flopped at the box office - but with good reason. There's really no plot. It's about people starting over, in both life and love, without looking to the past.

"Just give me 5 minutes after 2 years."
"You can't have me now so you want me, that's all. I'm not blaming you - I never looked at it any different, it's just that I don't believe in the whole thing don't understand. You're not there, Raymond. If I'm going to be alone, I'm going to be by myself. Go back...."


"I haven't danced like this in years!"
"Didn't your wife dance?"
"Not like you. She had no gracefulness."
"Why didn't you teach her to be graceful?"
"Can't learn that."
"How do you know, I mean, how do you know? You see, she died and she didn't know how you can dance. To a certain extent, maybe we're strangers."
"I don't feel like discussing my wife."
"Oh, don't be mad. I only meant that if you loved her, you could have taught her anything.....because....we're all dying, aren't we? All the husbands and all the wives, every minute, and we're not teaching each other what we really know, are we? Guiedo, you're a nice man - smile!"

current mood: okay
current music: Alex North was a great composer.

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