| blah blah |
[26 Dec 2004|08:24pm] |
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outkast~miss jackson |
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well christmas is over... kinda releived kinda sad... i'm either goign to get a piecing or my heart tatoo tomorrow, but t and sam i think will be dissappointed if i don't get peiced with them.... i don't know why i'm updating in this i hardly ever do... i werite mostly in my xanga.. but every once in a while i miss blurty..... i just feel blah right now.... it sucks i got a mp3 player for christmas that was cool shit..... clothes you know the ussual.......
mike steves friend from crete is coming out here for a few days and new years eve fun fun. actually wed or thurs should be really reallly fun but not looking forward to the rest reallly..... i wnat to do something fun for new years and right now there aint shit to do so i dont know....
tired and whinney was up late last night actually went out.... omg i know right.... met this kid at the party we were at and we talked for a long ass time, drunk'en sam "you should kiss her" then i'm like "no he shouldn't got a boyfriend" then i got home at like 4-ish i think saw steve for like 2 mins then went to bed... didn't get what i wanted that night :( (no not the dooney and burke purse)
well bored sittign at home me and brandon are supposed to hang out but ummm... i'm waiting for him to call so who knows....
well going to go play a game or something damn tetris i'm a addicted.....
hugs and kisses
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| thank your lucky star that everythign i wished for will never come true |
[16 Dec 2004|05:50pm] |
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 happy |
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fall out boy |
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lalalalalalalalalallalalalalallala
not to much to say... brandon is comign over in a lil bit. i don't know if me him and steve are hagning out or just me and brandon?
steve thats a whole nother fucking entry.. lol i love the boy i'm in love with the buy its great i'm happy... i geuss thats all i can say about anything. he's comign back over in a min. he just went to talk to his momma....
i might be going to the army, or the coast gaurd or the navy, i'm not sure which one i want to go to... i was going to go to the army but my g-ma (my grandmas new tight ass pimp name lol) wnats me to go to the navy or the coast gaurd. i'm not sure if i want to go or not but i am thinking about it....
CHRSITMAS BREAK MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!
keep quiet nothign comes as easy as you can i lay in your bed i'll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake.........
went job huntign yesterday got a whoel bunch of applications but it sucks because everyone isn't hiring until after the new year... i already have my new year resolutions figured out, me and steve i hope it last... lol
nothign else really to say so peace
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| Ashely this is for you |
[05 Nov 2004|10:33am] |
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blank |
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fall out boy~grand theft autumn |
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where is your boy tonite? i hope he is a gentleman.
and maybe he wont find out what i know: you were the last good thing about this
part of town.
when i wake up, im willing to take my chances on the hope you hate him
more than you notice i wrote this for you.
you need him. i should be him... i could be an accident but im still trying.
thats more than i can say for him.
where is your boy tonite? i hope he is a gentleman.
and maybe he wont find out what i know: you were the last good thing about this
part of town.
someday ill appreciate in value, get off my ass and call you.. but for the
meantime ill sport my brand new fashion of waking up with pants on at
4 in the afternoon
you need him. i should be him... i could be an accident but im still trying.
thats more than i can say for him.
where is your boy tonite? i hope he is a gentleman.
and maybe he wont find out what i know: you were the last good thing about this
part of town. (repeat)
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| one awkward silience and two hopes you cry yourself to sleep |
[29 Oct 2004|08:32am] |
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velvet revovler~fall to peices |
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i still want the good night phone calls, and the morning wake ups. i still want to see your smile everyday. and to lay there every morning. i still want to love you, and for my heart to be put together. i wish there was somethign more to say or do, and its not good to regret what you do, but i really wish i could take it back. i'm tired and i want to be able to sleep again. i don't like the awkward-ness, and i don't like not being able to hug you, or kiss you. I WISH i could change all of this but appearently not..... i said sorry, and as much as i tryed not to i cried. you don't knwo how much a person affects you until they are gone for good. but its even worse when you still see that person all the time.... or just even knowing they are there.... i can't change shit but if i could you would still be here with me...
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| so here we go again |
[20 Sep 2004|10:02am] |
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 calm |
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So the drama has been kept down a lil bit. Its still crazy how much trouble people can get into without even doing anything..
I’m going to be a godmother I am so excitied. My uncle E asked me to be a godmother to his son liam!! My lil cuz he is so cute.
I am also going to be a maid-of-honor. Yep yep that’s right Courtney is getting married!! I’m so happy for her. Terrance is a sweetheart and treats her so good, they are so cute together. And for maybe the first time ever have I seen Courtney this happy, she’s like floating on cloud 9 every time I see her.
The other night we all camped out in steves backyard. Yea josh was throwing up chunks of sweedish fish after 5 mins of laying down, the lil drunken. Had fun though.
Me and steves mom talked for like over an hour yesterday while steve was watching the game and lisa was sleeping. I like his mom and I’m not so scared of her anymore. Shes a sweetheart.
I think Kenny spent the night last night, he was towing last night and called so I said to come hang out with me if he wanted too, and then he came over we were watching a movie I fell asleep and then the next thing I know my mom was like whos that this morning. Then kennys mom called and yelled at him and he left that’s all I remember. I was tired.
Steve came over this morning before school as usual. Me and him cuddled for like a half hour then he left for school, then I had to get up and ready for school!!! And now I’m chillin here waiting for class to start. I need to fix my car, stupid fuel pumps don’t need to go out!!! Need a job too. Looking for applications here I come, fun fun NOT!!!
We I think I am going to go for now don’t know what else to talk about really byebye
Peace and love
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| another sleepless night |
[05 Sep 2004|05:46am] |
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 awake |
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american hi-fi~flavor of the week |
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going on four days now with only 3 hours of sleep, there is no way for me that that is possible i'm the type of person that needs like 8 hours of sleep but i've been good so oh well...... tomorrow should be fun going out to portage for a kegger and party and shit, lisa butz and steve are coming with or supposed to be, were supposed to stay out there but if that don't work then i come home and still got plans. its a tuff situation where either case will be fun.
"no more hoping and wishing" lol tha was funny.
lalalalala
it's like 530 and noones online and there aint shit else to do so i think that i am going to go watch tv...
peace and love
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| another sleepless night |
[05 Sep 2004|05:37am] |
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mood |
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awake |
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music |
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american hi-fi~flavor of the week |
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going on four days now with only 3 hours of sleep, there is no way for me that that is possible i'm the type of person that needs like 8 hours of sleep but i've been good so oh well...... tomorrow should be fun going out to portage for a kegger and party and shit, lisa butz and steve are coming with or supposed to be, were supposed to stay out there but if that don't work then i come home and still got plans. its a tuff situation where either case will be fun.
"no more hoping and wishing" lol tha was funny.
lalalalala
it's like 530 and noones online and there aint shit else to do so i think that i am going to go watch tv...
peace and love
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| another sleepless night |
[05 Sep 2004|05:32am] |
going on four days now with only 3 hours of sleep, there is no way for me that that is possible i'm the type of person that needs like 8 hours of sleep but i've been good so oh well...... tomorrow should be fun going out to portage for a kegger and party and shit, lisa butz and steve are coming with or supposed to be, were supposed to stay out there but if that don't work then i come home and still got plans. its a tuff situation where either case will be fun.
"no more hoping and wishing" lol tha was funny.
lalalalala
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| No Sleep for 2 damn days!!! |
[04 Sep 2004|07:21am] |
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taking back sunday~ a decade under the influence |
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i have seriously slept maybe 45 mins at the most in the past two days!?!?! i don't know why, but i'm like whatever and i am not extrememly tired, i've actually been hyper?!?! got paid went shopping :) can't wait to wear that... nothing else is new really school work school owrk firends thats life.....
peace and love
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| same old same old |
[26 Aug 2004|11:13am] |
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I am so tired I was up until 4 in the morning then had to wake up for school at 8. had my first quiz in my psyc. Class I think I did ok and I really didn’t study for it until I got into the class, I was falling asleep in my class, but the quiz was kinda easy. Travis came out by me last night we chilled had fun. Work sucks my feet are killing me, I need to go get a comfy pair of dress shoes today. I work all weekend but its ok cuz I need the money. I work with steve all weekend except for Friday. Other than that nothing new really. At school waiting for my next calls to start. I am so glad that I don’t have work today, I’m going home to sleep.
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| yeah thats my grandma she eats lil kids |
[24 Aug 2004|03:30pm] |
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twista~overnight celeberty |
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damn my family me and mom are fighting cuz of my crack-head grandma. i was supposed to pick alyssa up after i got out of school, which was fine with me, and then my mom called and said i had to go home and go to lowells to pick up more tile for the kitchen floor cuz were getting it redone which was fine, i just got home and i'm waiting for steve to come over in a lil bit to hang out before he has to go to work. blah blah blah... so anyways i get home and my grandma calls my cell to see where i'm at and i was liek i'm at home and she was like well can you com eand get alyssa..... fuck that i'm not driving all the way out there to go get alyssa when my mom gets home in an hour!!
ok ok ok i know my grandma is old and she watched a alyssa all day.... but for those who don't knwo my grandma she is AN EVIL BITCH!! lets jsut say that i had to go somewhere and i was watching alyssa, my would be hom ein a half hour, but i had to leave before then say like to go out of town or soemthing... my grandma would never (NEVER) drive here to watch alyssa... so there is my point, it pissed me off!!!!!!
well ttyl
peace and love
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| blah blah blah blah |
[22 Aug 2004|12:23pm] |
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red hot chillie pepers~californiacation |
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so i am officially back at home. i need a place to live or i wasn't going to go to school. and i really want to go to school so i am happy! i'm still looking for my own place so we'lll see wehat happens.
went up to jukebox yesterday. kenny dislocated his knee, saw bobby and ashely, and then everyone else was extremely stoned, except me, so i just sat there and was like wow you are stupid.
i thought it was a good day yesterday, i cleaned my room really really good, and now it looks all pretty. then me and steve hung out for a lil while, i let my mom take my car to a bar-b-que so i was stuck at home but i got a lot of shit done so i am happy.......
good day and then the night wasn't the best?!?!?!?!?!?! whatever don't even really want to talk about it. doesn't even matter. fuck it.
i'm tired i think that me and jamie might do something today.
peace and love
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| we're the misquito hunters lol aww that was so cute |
[20 Aug 2004|11:44pm] |
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taking back sunday~a decade under the influence |
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well well well....
i got a job!!! i have to go tomorrow at 9, me and steve both that will be kinda werid working with him too lol. shouldn't be to bad, i'm used to him by now.
i'm still kinda homeless.... i dunno.... its hard going to school and having to worry about where i am going to sleep every night and shit.... so right now i am staying the night by my mom's but its kinda because i have to pick my dad up in the morning to fix her car. and i really don't watn to live with her, but i really don't have any other permanent place to live until i find my own place, which is hard, and i've called a zillion of places for rent already!!!!
went and played pool today, i am sooooo tired. havne't been gettign to much sleep.
thank you for being there for me so much lately, it does really help. even if it is just sleeping in my car with you, i've been having fun. the sweetness is great i really liek it. who knows if things will ever change, but i'm not sure if i want them to or not, its werid, this whole things is werid, but i kinda like it.
but i'm really really really tired so i'm goign to lay on my couch that i have missed o so much, and watch some tv until i pass out, (fuse that i have missed so much!!!)
goodnight world
peace and love
"but somethings gotta go wrong cuz i'm feeling way to damn good" in the words of i think nickleback.
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| hey |
[15 Aug 2004|04:21pm] |
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amanda perez~angel |
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school starts soon :( this summer is coming to an end :( but it was one of the bests!!! so much fun. goign to clean my grandma;s house tomorrow for some cash moneys!!! yay not much to say, hope to see steve some time today, maybe actualyl spend some time with jsut me and him., there is always people around!! i mean all the all the peopel that are always around but still. lol we were talkign about tha last night when we were alone for like 10 mins.
so shit has cooled down with you and now i don't have to be so worried!! thatnk god. no more stupid shit!!!
my mom is a stupid fuckign cunt, just couldn't wait to havve me leave so he can start spending the night. i want to call dcfs on her, but there is no place that alyssa would go. i wish that i had money and help and a house, so i could take alyssa and take care of her. but i don't see that happening anytime soon.
well going to mcdonalds keep updating when i have the chance!
peace and love
ber
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[13 Aug 2004|06:46pm] |
got kicked out of my house again! 2 times in 1 month i am awesome!!!! its ok my car is comfy lol going to go see avp. me and steve both had horrible weeks hope things get better. well g2g/
peace and love
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| Still No Sleep And Now Extremely Bored |
[06 Aug 2004|03:18am] |
so now it's like 3:20am and still no sleep i am not tired thats the craziest thing, because ussually if i don't get like 8 hours of sleep i am evil.
just had like a 2 hour phone conversation, with steve. first off that is the longest me and him ever talked on the phone, and for second thats the longest phone conversation i had in a long time. i feel like i am like 16 again staying up all night talkin on the phone. but i do realize you kinda get to know people better threw the phone, because there can't be to much silience so someone just keeps talking and so on and whatever.. i'm not co-herrant. i can't close my eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
things have been kinda werid lately and i figured out why today!! hehe i'm happy that it is because of them reasons!!!!
well i think that i am going to attempt to fall asleep i hope that it works!!!
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| I CAN'T SLEEP |
[06 Aug 2004|01:16am] |
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slpiknot~ duality |
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kinda an eventfull day on 1 hour and a half of sleep!!!!
regestered for school, yay fincial aid kicks ass cuz i didn't have to pay for anyhting i was like hell yea buddy!
watched american history x, went to the beach, sat at steves for a while. got hitted on by butz's grandpa lol crazy awesome grandpa! he told me what i needed to do to fix my car, it worked very well. ca's daddy also looked at my car but i didn't drive it he just looked at it so he didn't even hear the noise.
i was worried i cried. :( so releaved when i found out that everything was not "that" bad. sorry you have to deal with that shit, i wish i could make it better, or at least help you take your mind off of it. if anything you should know that i care about you a lot. i felt stupid that i cried, but i couldn't hold it in, it just suxed knowing that there was nothing i could do to help or change anything. and i don't know what to do, so i just tried to make you smile, and you did i just hoped it worked, at least a lil bit.
i'm having some stomache pains again i hope i don't have another syst but i kinda think i do cuz this is how i was feeling before the first one. but i'll just wait it out because i have a doc appointment, sept. 1st....... so we'll see what happens.
lisa is sleeping over, and butz is sleeping in my car, cuz we are going crazy job searchign tommorrow. and if steve finsihes all his shit around the house, he's coming too.
feelings fuck with people so much! and so do a lot of words, even when you know the person that is saying them doesn't truely mean it. or they mean the words that they don't say. i know that ca knows what i am talking about i love you ca!!!!
well thats all for the night i need sleep even though know i am not tired!!! since augest 4th i have slept 1 and a half hours and right now it is the 6th. HOLY SHIT its my grandma and grandpa's b-day and my ashely's b-day too!!!! wow need to make a lot of phone calls wishign peeople happy b-day today.... well going to call steve then prolly try to go to bed...
peace and love
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| WoW iTs BeEn a LoNg TiMe BLURTY |
[04 Aug 2004|11:19am] |
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mood |
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steve yelling!!!! it broke :( he's sad |
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so i have been busy and been negaleting my blurty :( aww poor blurty... i have other journals too i'm sorry lol
~*~ so last night me and steve and lisa and jeremy watched almost famous at my house, becausse it was crazy style rainy outside i got kinda scared :( lol well i couldn't see while i was driving!!
~*~ me and steve ended up falling asleep on the couch, silly boy got all sweaty i was like lisa can you put the fan on and face it towards us. hehe and then i had to wake him up to see what time he had to be home at, i didn';t want to wake him up, :( he was all asleep and looking peaceful lol with his arm over his face because thats how he HAS to sleep (werido lol :)
~*~ were going to go job searching today soudn sliek fun not really
~*~ so i need to go to the damn doctor and soon, there is something seriously wrong with me :( ::whimper whimper:: i keep procrastinating cuz i don't want to go to the yucky doctor, but everyone is yelling at me that i need to go because something is wrong, and it could get wrose, or i might have scars on my ovaris, or something and i might not be able to have kids. i think that i maybe am just scared to go to the doctor cuz i'd rather not kow whats wrong. who knows???
~*~ i don't have alyssa today YAY but the lil brat is so much cooler now. its funny how she has changed, instead of telling on me for stupid shit, she's been covering for me. and she likes steve its funny i don't know why she does but she does. maybe because he did sparklers with her, lol its funny his friend josh will sit and talk to her, and they play together, its just like awww josh and her have the same maturity level!! lol i lvoe josh though he's a sweetheart.
need to get up and get moving but being lazy.
my dad just called hes working on betty's motorcycle, he said that i should stop by if i'm in the neighboorhood. damn him i want to go there now and help and learn how to fix it too!!! screw school and a job. lol i wish
so courtney is going to call the apartment guy again todday, hopefuly we can move in at the beginnign of next month, that would be perfect... but who knows we'll see. finally getting out of the house though, i can't wait!!
the summer is coming to an end which makes me extremely sad!! but i can say i accomplished a lot of what i wanted to do this summer!! i had fun i drank i smoke i partied. i went on vaction with a lot of different friends.
this summer has just been fun and crazy and exactly how i wanted it to be.....
well i'm out gotta go do some stuff
peace and love
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| lets get it started in here |
[23 Jul 2004|03:25pm] |
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bored |
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music |
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last train home~lost prophets |
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i'm tired just got back, i went with sara to go visit her mom in the hospital. butz and nate are supposed to come over.. i don't knwo what i'm doing tonight yet! geez.... i miss my ca!!!!!! i feel bad that shes not having fun :( that sucks but anywho!!! thats really all i got to say, i'm bored so i'm going to find somethign to do
peace and love
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| still sick :( |
[20 Jul 2004|01:24pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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cocain and toupees~mindless self idulgence |
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so i threw up today and if i throw up i am supposed to go back to the er but i only threw up once so i'm going to pretend that i didn';t at all :) i have to go talk to my college today yuck ! anyways jsut finished watching grease i lov etha movie :) soo bored today and not very happy today but i'll live suppsoed to hang out with butz and nate today, we'll see what happens.
peace and love
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