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shanns casa [13 Jul 2004|08:20pm]
[ mood | grateful ]
[ music | jojo *weak ]

ok so the last time i updated this was like.. a month ago? wait no like 5 days ago lol. so anyway.. i went to shanns to chill with her kayla and jon. i liike hanging out wiht jon. it was nice to spend some quality time with the idiot. 2 days ago me and kayla played a punk on them. we told them i liked jon. and they believed us. so today we told them we were punking them. haha. it was a great one. so anyway the whole time me and kayla just laughed at things. thats why i <3 her cuz we laugh at the stupidest things and its so fun. shann and jon sat oin the couch all day and watched tv. me and kayla did too but we had more fun lol. and the whole time me and kayla were looking at them and telling them to make out cuz hey i never saw them make out before and i thouht i should. so after like foreverrrr they made out. i was like right up to them staring at their mouths lol. haha me and kayla were trying to talk about tem right in front of them so we used a blanket to cover our bodies. didnt work lol. it was fun. i changed shanns pro so it looks like mine heheheh. and i wont mention the 'moisture' me and kayla saw. hahah. today was so fun !! shann and kayla i <3 you. and jon yea i guess youre cool too lol

3 ` ][ *..qiive me a reas0n t0 beliieve iin y0u..*

ummm [09 Jul 2004|12:04pm]
[ mood | distressed ]
[ music | jojo * weak ]

yea so kaylas shann nicole came over for the 4th. so did like a bagillion other people in my fam. it was great but tehres usually more people. k and i dont remeber anything else taht happened since then. exept i chilled with kayla and slept over her house. and sang to sassyn and made an earthquake. and that yesterday all i did was sit around the house and record my demo. kinda booring. i threw out my demo tape and im making another cuz i didnt like my voice yesterday. now i gotta get ready to go to the beach with kayla around 4 ish? pzzzzzzz

*..qiive me a reas0n t0 beliieve iin y0u..*

moviess [30 Jun 2004|11:03pm]
so today i woke up late so i was blahh and then i had to help my dad put the bricks down anddd stuff. then at 6:30 me and cherise went to emilys(john was there of course). we went to the commons and got chink food. came back.. left for the movies. we saw spider man 2.. it was really good i <3ed it. so anyway like 3/4 in to the movie something happened like 5 rows behind us.. they had a flashlight and were lloking at sometihng. there were cops and stuff so i think they found some sort of drug or something. cooool. then emily got a chicken sandwich and we went outside to smokee somee ciggs mkk and yea my mom came. she drove emily and john home. i didnt want them to go cuz i missed them so much and i was happy to see them and yeaaa =[. but i <3 them so much. they liked cherise so it was nice. and yea were gunna chill tomorrow too. ah wait kayla too. crap
*..qiive me a reas0n t0 beliieve iin y0u..*

[23 Jun 2004|01:35pm]
gina i hate you. alot

how can someone be so .. xfgdks;fsl ?

i really cant believe you.

i hope YOU die
*..qiive me a reas0n t0 beliieve iin y0u..*

=]=]=]=]=] ----- =[=[=[=[=[=[ [16 Jun 2004|08:48pm]
yesterday was the last fuckiin day 0f school !! im so happy .. but im also like crying. im gunna miss all my east ppl so muchh =[ even north people im gunna miss over the summer if i dont see them =[. jade ofg ima miss her so muchh ='[. and well emily im gunnchill w/ her like all the time soo thats good. omg ima miss john. aand chamenty. and paul. and even codyy calling me shamoo =[ and alotttt of other peoplleeee !! but chris .. omfg .. if i never tlk to him agsin im gunna fucking kill myself. im seriously so fucking in love with him its unbelievable. so basically the rfact that we have no school anymore is a good thing but bad thing at the same time. but on the bright side .. its fucking summer vacation!! we dont have to put up w/ teachers, reports, homework and all that crap. we get to go out, go to the beach, pool, have partiessss !! and other stuff. its so much better than schoooll yayyy.

anywayy.. today i threw a lil pool party thing for BLOOMSDAY !! well we decided to have a party yesterday and found out this morning taht it was bloomsday so we decided wed make it a bloomsday party lol. happy bloomsday everyone!! and no, i didnt make it up. its a real holiday =]=]. anyway it was just little.. kayla shann emily john brit melissa amy kate and nicole came over to celebrate lol. we had soo much fun !! omfg kayla im so sorryy i hit you w/ the ice and made you bleed =[ lol i <3 you !! anhyway.. me and john and nicole cooked us some dinner on the grill.. were so cool ;] i <3 them. and i <3 the way john hugs. i <3 him. aha he wanted to open the dip and everyone was trying to open it for like 10 minutes.. trhen when we got it open hes like 'i dont like ranch dip' lolol. brit wanted us to peirce her belly button. i actually wanted to but ya knoww lol. ahaha it was funny the way i hit shann w/ the ice lol. mkk. any and melissa im so glad you came. you guys are so great i <3 chillen w/ you. youre so funny and crap. arightt everyone today was great we should do it again sometime !! i love you guys so much bf4l !! pzz

i have a HOUSE lmfao
*..qiive me a reas0n t0 beliieve iin y0u..*

ariight [14 Jun 2004|06:54pm]
obviously youre all extremely illiterate.

cant you read?

i said i dont give a fuck. so if you have something more to say.. im not listening. i dont care

stfu already and get a life
*..qiive me a reas0n t0 beliieve iin y0u..*

[12 Jun 2004|07:20pm]
god i love chris. i want him more than anytihng. if i had his everythin would be absolutely perfect. god im fucking going crazyyyyyyy. thats it .. the last day of school im making out with him. ill want him forever no matter what.. i need this kid im fucking in love.. <|3

hey that rhymes kinda.

yayyyy my dad is gunna teach me how to play guitar woooot.

2 ` ][ *..qiive me a reas0n t0 beliieve iin y0u..*

beach [12 Jun 2004|06:47pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | d12 ]

ahh yay went to the beach with shann and kayla today .. i <3 them. we chilledd and talked with jill alot and it was really fun. hahha 'hey necklace, come over here' lmfao. that was so funny lol. so was 'ding ding' lololhahahhah i keep cracking up about that lol. the whole time i kept getting sand on shann awwwwww !!! i <3 her shes my bipolar friend who gets happy when she hears angry songs lol. and kayla wants to find out how many grains of sand are on the bech .. holy thats alot. it was so funn today. mmk i love you all !!

ive been so happy lately. im so gappy about that. pz babiie

*..qiive me a reas0n t0 beliieve iin y0u..*

moviess [11 Jun 2004|07:00pm]
yayayay i went o the movies with kayla. we met emily john dan gabby jade brittany brianna and some other dudes thurr. it was so fun tho.. just like ya know chillen. i think the movie sucked tho (the stepford wives). yayay i <3 all of you people aaf!!!
*..qiive me a reas0n t0 beliieve iin y0u..*

here it is. the fucking truth. [10 Jun 2004|07:10pm]
wow. wow wow wow. im so sick of everyone. i cant explain it. ive fucking had it up to here with everything. youre all pussies

i gave up on me and ginas friendship. I GAVE UP. i dont care if you think IM a pussy for giving up. i reallllllllllyyy dont care. but believe me, it was worth it to give her up. im the happiest ive ever been since i let you o gina, and im not ashamed. im not felling any guilt or loss. i DONT miss you. i wont EVER miss you. so yea. you go and read this, cry all night, cut yourself, and try to make me feel bad. but guess what. IM NOT GUNNA GIVE A SHIT. our friendship is over. i shouldnt even be talking about you. now go show this to nicole, so she can get more mad at me for actually having a reason to not be friends with you. cuz nicoile, we all know you do it. you get involved in everyone elses business, and get mad at people for shit you shouldnt even be getting mad at cuz you have absolutely nothing to do with it. now i dont exactly know what your profile means, but im ASSUMING its about me. its about how you dont like the fact that im not friends wiuth gina, and that im friends with kayla. and you think its stupoid that im best friends with kayla now when i once accused her of stealing gina. and you think she or me is stealing someone. yea, you have a right to your opinion. BUT ITS FUCKING BULLSHIT. just STOP being involed in OUR shit.

also.. gina and nicole.. all you do is post shit on lw about how depressed you are. ever think maybe they cant help you? theyre complete strangers. they dont know shit about you. so yea i dont think its exactly right for you to go to them before your friends..

yea .. maybe some of you will have something to say that will prove im a hypocrit. like maybe what im saying doesnt make sence? and that the bad things im accusing the world of is something ive done before? but heres a little something for you to understand. i dont fucking give a shit. im SO FUCKING SICK OF EVERYBODYS BULLSHIT. i just dont care anymore. i dont care if you all fucking hate me after reading this.. that just means that your a bitch for hating me for saying what i feel. call me a bitch, pussy, ass-hole, 2-faced, a whore, slut, or any other bullshit word you can come up with. CUZ I DONT CARE. cuz thats what i am.

and for everyone who reads this.. dont act like you didnt see it. cuz i know you did. why dont you all just step up for once and tell me how you REALLY feel? why dont you just take the risk of losing a friend to say whats bothering you. shit, ive done it. and believe me, it was worth it. but knowing all these people, i know your just gunna pretend like you never saw this entry, and like you never knew the THRUTH.

for all you all who think that this post is a bad descision, its not. its the best descision. but i have made bad ones. i did run away from home, i did cheat on tests, i did smoke pot, i do smoke ciggarettes, i did talk about my friends behind there backs, i did give up, i did fail, i did cut class, i did cut myself, i did talk back to my parents, i did make fun of my brother for being gay, i did lose friends, i did make up bullshit like everyone else, i did lie. at least i fucking admit it. i kno im a bad person, i know im selfish, i know i do things to get attention, i know im disresectful, i know im a bitch, i know i hurt peoples feelings and i know i enjoy it too, i know i get jeallous, i know i make mistakes, i know i get mad at people for stupid reasons, I KNOW ALL THIS SHIT. So dont go and try to pick a fight with me cuz you hate me for all these reasons, cuz I KNOW I DO ALL THESE THINGS. I KNOW I AM ALLM THESE THINGS. so just shut the fuck up already.

you know what, this is it. you say something to me, i say someting back. im not fighting with any of you. its not worth it. so if your looking for a fight, youre reading the wrong blurty..

everybody just get a grip on reality. you all think its still fucking 5th grade. BUT ITS NOT. everyone grow up and stop with the fucking drama. cuz im sure that im not the only one whos sick of it..
16 ` ][ *..qiive me a reas0n t0 beliieve iin y0u..*

w0aHh. [01 Jun 2004|05:50pm]
hey hey. wow i hate my layout but i dont feel like changing it. hey my mos hom and were going to go buy me a dress for the dinner dance. but first i shall update..

SaTuRdAy


hmm well mmk i think this is the day i was bored but then nicole saved me by sleeping over !! mmmk. it was fun !! we watched the jason x and the bourne identidy. NICOLE YOU DEFFINETLY SAW IT !! lol. that was a fun night mmk. we basically just chillaxed. its all good.

SuNdAy


WOAH ! it was so fun. nicole well ya know was still here then kayla came over and we were drinking beer. and alot of other things. we got kinda drunk but ya knoww. we went tanning on the roof i mean come on you gotta tan on the roof. it was awesome !!! hahhahahahhahqahh we went in the pool and we were hypererrr !! sgjhnkndfkgnknkdjfgnhkdgnhjkghnkgnkdgj. then nicoek took a shower as we swam in the palooloo. then me and kayla went in the shower with our suits on and screeamed a song on top of our lungs/ i forget what one =[. then i dont really remeber how but we wond up going to kaylas.. i think wait i dont remeber. well i remeber that one of these days, i think today, me and nicole and shann slep over kalylas. we had a great time !!!!!!!

monday


woke up. we all went home. i did cuz i felt crappy =[. mmk umm yea. i forget what else happened. i have a bad memory.


then i had to go to school on tuesday to ruin my weekend.


kayla shann nicole i <3 you !!!!!!!
1 ` ][ *..qiive me a reas0n t0 beliieve iin y0u..*

OMFG PUSS-IN-BOOTS !! [26 May 2004|05:08pm]
my new layout .. is puss-in-boots .. the cat from shrek .. the cutest fucking thing in the entire world. everrr. yayayay kayla im so happy i found ittt !!!!!!! dfjdsfhgdsfgkh ahhh !
1 ` ][ *..qiive me a reas0n t0 beliieve iin y0u..*

yay !! [22 May 2004|12:09pm]
2 nights ago me and kayla went to the movies with gabby emily and john m. we saw shrek 2 =]. i gotta say .. it was the funniest movie i ever saw. yayay we had a good time. then last night me kayla and nicole went to shanns for her party thing. i met devon !! yay. shes dcool. we also had a grand time thurr. yay ! bf4l everyone. today kayla nicole emily and john might come over and go in the poooolll cuz its gunna be hott out !!! oo yea. whee
1 ` ][ *..qiive me a reas0n t0 beliieve iin y0u..*

emilyyyy and johnnn [20 May 2004|02:26pm]
yesterday was sweeeeettt. i went to emilys and we chizzzledddddd with john and watched sesame street's "dont eat the pictures" emily has a theory that all the sesame stree characters have a different nationality. and i believe her. seriously next time you see sesame street .. just look. ones greman, ones spanish, ones italian, ect..
john and emily were fighting the whole time and beatibng eachother up. emily told mr to help her but i was all afraid cuz i dont like to huirt my friends like that? lol. hahah the whole time me and john were seriously like cracking up so hard over like nothign lol. o yea emilys boyfriend came over a little later in the day. hes awsome babyyy. he thoguth we were high. i was biting my ganglion. me and john did that think where i put my hands behid my back and he puts his arms like on the side of me so it looks like his arms were my arms hahahahhaha we were cracking up for like an hour. emily and her b/f are so sweet together. its so aww when you see them.

do you know how much i <3 emily? ALOT. emily im sorryyy but you dont understand =/ i still <3 you tho lol.

do you know how much i <3 John? ALOT. hahahhahahhahhahhahahhahahahah we`re so funny.

BF4L !!!!!!

now i must go. hey hey me and emily and gabby are going to the movies tonight wooooooooootttt. toodles.

p.s - my moms letting me get a hamster and I CANT WAIT !!!! i <3 you already puppy.
*..qiive me a reas0n t0 beliieve iin y0u..*

[16 May 2004|10:39am]
iif theres one thing i want its to be understood.
but no one cares, and no one should.
im a horrible person and i deserve to live in pain.
and according t0 you im the one to blame.
1 ` ][ *..qiive me a reas0n t0 beliieve iin y0u..*

update [14 May 2004|07:07pm]
just in case you were all wondering, i have a horrible life. ive lost everything a long time ago.

im so confused with everything.

my dads sick. MS is uncurable and hes not getting any better.

my uncle and aunt are in kuwait and could die any second.

im sick of my mom dad and brother yelling all the fucking time. it hurts my ears.

losing friends on my own will becasue of feelings that just wont fucking go away.

im failing like everything in school.

nick is such a dick but i still care about him alot and i dont know why.

and worst of all my dog is gone and theres nothing i can do to bring her back. i miss her so much. she was everytihng to me, everything.

*..qiive me a reas0n t0 beliieve iin y0u..*

survey from kayla [09 May 2004|12:21pm]
[ mood | fghxgbfsghshgfhdj ]
[ music | alica keyssssss ]

--Your Favorite--
Hair Color::light brown
Eye Color::blue
(Their)Music Genre Preference::doesnt matter music is music
Height(estimate)::taller than me
Age::doesnt matter just not like alott younger or older than me
Personality Type::cool, funny, stupid.
--This or That--
Older or Younger::doesnt matter. if i like the person i like the person -- older or younger
Romantic or Horndog::horndog =]
Smart or Stupid::stupid
Fat or Skinny::doesnt matter but i prefer a hott boddyyy
Skinny but Muscular or Big and Muscular::skinny but muscular
Punk or Preppy::whatever. if i like the person i like the person -- punk or prep
The Big Picture or the Little Things::what.
Flowers/Candy or Big Expensive Present::flowers / candy
Mixtape or Burned CD::mixtape
Love or Lust::both duhh
Emotional or Just Not::ehh depends. sometimes. idk
Sincere or Jokester::jokesterrrrrrr
Hott and mean or Ugly and sweet::im sure theres at least one guy for me out there thats hott and sweet. like chris =[
Sexy or Just "cute"::sexy
Arse or Abs::abs
Hair or Hands::hair
Dimples or Eyes::eyes
Biceps or Calves/Thighs::BICEPS
Teeth or Nose(some people are just wierd) ::nose
Clean Shaven or Scruffy::depends on their facial features
Rugged or Prim and Proper::ehh idk
Countryboy or Cityboy:cityboy
Date alone or With Friends:depends
Mama's Boy or Rebel Without A Cause::rebel
--Have You Ever--
Dumped a guy because he liked you too much::no.
Loved a guy because he stalked you::no.
Loved a guy because he hated you::no.
Asked your friend's crush out::no.
Lead a guy on for kicks::no.
Asked a guy out purely because he was hott::im going to ( tall guy ;] :-* )
Flirted with guys even though you had a boyfriend::yea i think
Lied about not having a boyfriend::no.
Lied about having one::yes.
Cheated::NO.
Been Cheated on::no.
Had a crush on a gay guy::no.
--Their Clothing(yes/no)--
Boxers?::yes
Briefs?::NO
Hat?::depends
Skater Shoes?::no
Pimp Shoes?::yes ;]
Band Shirts?::no.
Vintage shirts?::what.
Southpole/um..other thug clothes..?::yessssssssss
Dixie Outfitters/Big Johnsons?::what.
Independent/DC?::why not.
Skavenger/UGP?::what.
Fox/Thor?::what.
Jeans or Shorts?::jeansssss
--Be Honest--
Would you ever date a guy for his money?::im marrying a rich guy
Would you ever date a guy for his social status?::yes.
Have you ever liked hanging out with your bf's friends more than him?::umm
Have you ever pretended to like somebody to make them feel better?:yes.
Have you called a girl a whore, when you were screwing lots of guys?::no.
Do looks matter?::people say its on the inside taht counts. but tahts bull shit,. of course they do =]
Are you honestly scared of being dumped?::no.
Does size matter?::well they cant be THAT small..
Do you avoid 'situations' with ugly guys?::no.
Are you ashamed to be seen with your ugly friends?::no.
Are you ashamed for being ashamed?(you better be)::no.
Do you hide things from your crushes/guy friends/bf?::no.
Do you lie about masturbation for attention or false innocence?::no?
Do you really want a guy to say if those jeans make your butt look fat?::not really
Are you dissapointed when your bf doesn't say I love you right away?::no.
Wanna be a virgin till marriage?:FUCK NO.
Do you really love the guys everytime that you say it?:yes.
Do you dream about your crushes/bfs/guy friends?::who doesnt.
Would you makeout with a guy friend just to get it over with/curiosity?::yes.
Does this survey suck nuts?:k

Ultimate Opposite Sex Survey (for girls) brought to you by BZOINK!

*..qiive me a reas0n t0 beliieve iin y0u..*

fuck you all [01 May 2004|11:28pm]
anyone can say whatever the fuck they want about this entry. i dont care anymore.. i truley dont care

omfg i just wish one person i talked to would understand me. no one gets it.. but im going throuh a tough time too. actually i have been since like what 6th grade? im so fucking sick of all the shit everyone puts me through its not even funny. i cant fucking stand anything anymore. nothings tight and i just cant wait to get awayy from here. i might not even move and thats making things worse. i want to move so fucking badd. i need to get away from everyhthing. and yea say what you want.. but i dont think theres much left here for me anyway. i dont think ill miss much either. maybe ill miss one person but that one person is mad at me becasue she doesnt understand either. god i dont have the fucking patience for anything right now. but my ONE wish would be fdor someone to UNDERSTAND. but thats never gonna happen becasue no one will ever understand. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I NEED HELP. i dont know if iu should be friends with you(not nicole) .. or if ishould just let it burn..
3 ` ][ *..qiive me a reas0n t0 beliieve iin y0u..*

survey for you to fill out !! [01 May 2004|10:13pm]
1-what is your first memory of me
2-how long have we been friends
3-tell about 1 memory we shared together
4-describe me in 4 adjectives
5-if we could spend a day together what would we do
6-name 1 thing u really don't like bout me
7-name 1 thing u really do like bout me
8-if you could give me a gift wat would it be
9-have we ever gotten in a fight & bout wat
10-have we ever hugged
11-have we ever danced wit each other
12-have u ever seen me cry
13-have i ever offended u
14-what is somethin embarrassin that i've done
15-what do i say all the time/what's my catch phrase
16-do u think we will be friends in 5 years
17-what advice would u give me, in general
18-wanna make out
19-is there a song that reminds you of me...
3 ` ][ *..qiive me a reas0n t0 beliieve iin y0u..*

i love kalayla .. haha kalayla [01 May 2004|07:17pm]
ahh !! yesterday was so funnn. first i fainted in school and the nurse was all blah your father needs to take you to the doctor. so i had to go and they did tests and stuff. and they took blood >=[. i hate that. its MY blood, not YOURS. bitch. =] lol anywayy.. then i went home. then i went to the mallala with kayla !! we went there to shop. yeshh =]. kayla got really pritzy shirts and i got 3 belly button rings!! ones a pink reallly long dangly with stars, and ones a blue butterfly dangly ! but the blue one isnt taht long. mkk. while me and kayla were waiting for my dad to pick us up, a security guard came up to us and smiled. i hate security guards.. so im like "behind that smile..(shakes head)" hahah. then me and kalayla went back to my house and chill with my mother and father. YES ! no. maybe fucking so. then we went to see mean girls at 9:55 ! it was the funniest fucking movie everr lol. i didnt expect it to be so funny but ahh i love it. here are some highlights from the movie that we enjoyed..

"dont have sex. youll get pregnant.. and DIE." hahaaaaaaaaaaa
"its raining. yea." hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
the girll got hit by a bus out of no where that was the funniest part lolol
the guy saw the girl in the scary costume and screamed and fell off the railing hahaaaaaaa
"theres a 30% chance that it raining right now" (she says this while its pouring rain lol) hahaaaaa

there was so much more but i cant remeber lol. im sooo buying taht movie when it comes out lol its the funniesnt moviee ! ahh kayla last night was the best ilysfm bf4l aaf !!!!!! <3

nicole - i dont get why your mad at me.. i didnt do anything
*..qiive me a reas0n t0 beliieve iin y0u..*

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