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no more of that talk or i'll put the fucking leeches on you... [20 May 2004|06:58pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | cream - prince ] I'm tired and at home on my day off. i was going to go to cheerleading tryouts to support lisa and to make fun of people but i had to stay home to watch my sister. it's been a while hasn't it? there's too much that went on and my memory is too small. i have a job now. i work in the packaging area of specialty bakers. the lady finger plant if you wanna call it that. it's shit but the pay is good. the people there that i like are mostly going to quit but i dunno where else i could go that i'd work like 20 hours and get like $250. i'll be working more after school is over, which is in like 8 and 1/2 days. on the last day i think i'm gonna drive to school, we're only there til 10 and then chill. shwandell is gonna be around that day so we'll def hang out. maybe this hot kid will hang out too. he has a bird-like g/f but hey who cares about her right. he's the one who's telling me he wants to hang out. next thursday is junior skip day. well unofficially but alot of people are going to h-park. i think heidi and i are gonna go. we might take some more people and make a road trip out of it. it'll be awesome. jess has a b.f now, he's a pretty cool kid fora freshman but it's really the hip thing to do these days ha. my one teacher is forcing me to run for president of student council. i dunno it's more responsibility than i wanted for my senior year but shes like come on your the only person who does stuff and will bea senior with a 93 gpa, i was like great. getting decent grades is like my downfall. i dunno. i guess i'll do it. i just hope tiff gets vice cuz the other people going for it are either unknown to me or friggen annoying. i hate speeches though, oh well it's seniors last day so i'm guessing most people won't be there. and then junior skip day is the next day. i guess that's all for now. peace out. post comment

that shits for eleventeen year olds... [16 Dec 2003|09:49pm] [ mood | nostalgic ] [ music | the radio hmm it's have i told you lately - rod stewart ] well it's been a while like what almost 2 weeks. i really can't remember everything that's gone on since my last update. hmm lets see it was like 2 saturdays ago. uhm the week i guess is your normal school. it snowed so we had some delays and i took the day off. ~last sunday after the snow i went out again with jess, ame and heather. that was fun. we went to the mall and then to wendys in colonial park. fuck that place the people there are total bitches and we almost had them call the cops on us for not cleaning up a couple of clean napkins and unused comment cards. sometime you just gotta say what the fuck. ~uhm then the school and shit. ~uhm this past friday i went to the mall with jess. our addiction to petty theft is becoming uncontrolable. it's moved from pins and mgnets to belts nice jewelry and a shirt. that's crazyness right there. but we gotta cool out on it cuz people are probably catching on by now. ~ hmm then there's this week. it's a tuesday. we had a delay yesterday and it didn't even seem like it. aight peace out 1 comment|post comment

i don't mind spending everyday, out on your corner in the pouring rain [05 Dec 2003|08:54am] [ mood | calm ] [ music | she will be loved - maroon 5 ] The Tennybopper survey 1. When were you born? july 8 2. Do you now know, or have you ever known the birthdays of any celeberties? ::sigh:: this is already starting off obsessive but yes and i was friends with a girl that had parties on the nsync members b-days, i only went to 1 though! 3 Have you ever used this information to find out if that celeberties was your astrological "soulmate."? uhm well i remember taking the quizzes in magazines about that. 4. Have you ever bought a copy of Tiger Beat or 16 magazines? who hasn't come on. 5. Have you ever joined a club from one of them? or sent in poetry? no i didn't go that far, i remember reaing the poetry and laughing really hard. 6. Have you ever taken posters out of them and hung them on your walls/locker? yeah i had my room like wallpapered for short pd but then it like f-ed up my walls resulting in having to repaint it lol 7.Have you ever read the articles in Tiger Beat? if it was short and had gossip then yeah 8. gotten your horoscope from it? hmm i wasn't really interested in the horoscopes 9. Did you like the New Kids on The Block? of course, my sister influenced me 10. Did you own any merchandise? pillow cases? lunch boxes? ha uhm yeah well no lunchboxes or pillow cases but i had keychains and stickers and whatnot 11. Do you shop at Claires? every once in a while but their stuff is usually shitty 12.Have you ever bought tennybopper merchandise there? ha my sister got me the nsync lipgloss/chapstick from there i think 13. Did you like the Spice Girls? i used to 14. Did you buy their CD's? i have the first one i dind't know they had more than one 14. Did you cry when you saw titanic? no i hated that movie, i got a lil sad when they showed the 2 old people in bed with the water coming in cuz that's just like depressing 15. How many times did you see it? once was enough 16. After seeing it, did everything that reminded you of it make you cry?(fish, boats ect). uh no, but i have a thing with boats anyway, drowningor being eaten by a shark are like 2 of the worst deaths. 17. Do you own Titanic related merchandise? nope 18. Did you rent every Leonardo Dicaprio movie you could find? no i'm not a fan of his other than in romeo andjuliet cuz he was hot and what's eating gilbert grape 19. Don't you feel good, confessing all this? eh it's a thing that i think everyone my age went through 20. Do you/did you watch the WB faithfully? no i never had it but late at night on saturdays they would switch fox to the wb and i'd watch dawson's creek lol 21. Lets talk about Boy Bands, do you have a favorite? well i don't really listen to boy bands anymore, the first fav was hanson and then nsync 22. Do you own any N'snyc CD's? How many? yeah, i have like a fuckin shitload 23. How bout the BackStreetBoys? i have one and then i realized hey they suck balls 22. How bout 98 degrees? ha yeah i had 2 i think but i lost the one 23. How bout OTown or any of the others? well i did have 5ive's cd and an o-town single but that's it 24. Moving on, got any Brittney Spears cd's? hell no 25. Christina CD's? i have an old single 26. Jessica Simpson? Mandy Moore? no i don't have either 27. Do you have any dolls? like Brittney barbie or an N'snyc marrinonette? oh man...yeah i had a marrionette 28. got any CD's by the A-teens or anyone similar? thankfully no 29. Almost done. Do you realize how much you've probably spent on this sort of thing? wayyy more than i should have , it was like an addiction or something 30. Last question. Now that you've done this, are bubble gum pop songs running through your head? no i have dido's new song in my head. post comment

well i will go down with this ship, and i won't put my hands up and ... surrender. [01 Dec 2003|06:19pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | various from the grok ] well my thanksgiving weekend was hip as shit. uhm on thursday i had the typical thanksgiving family gathering with like 70 people when i only really know about 20. friday, i went to the mall with jess and phil d. that was really fun, but eating in the mall is a fuckin task when it's completely full and people swoop in quicker than you when you;re already swooping in on a table. bitches! but yeah it was cool. hopefully we'll do that again. then i came home for like 1/2 and went out to eat with my family for my nanny's b-day. uhm saturday, i went to the mall with jess, ame, and heather. fun times rockin out in ame;s car lol, we are awesome. i saw tony there, i haven't seen him in a while he's a crazy kid. we saw heidi and gina too. umh after that we drove around looking for something to do that was open around 11. which is basically nothing but walmart and diners. we went to about 10 different towns that night just driving around it was cool. we went home around 1am and friggen stayed up til like 5am. it was crazy, i just wasn't tired. sunday was my slump day. i went to school today when like half the gd school skipped, i only went to copy kate's wordproblems. other than that it was a rather uneventful day. oh mr shirmer used me as his like agree person today, i think it was cuz the people in front of me weren't there or something but i'm not complaining. oh shit yeah at the mall on saturday i got my kiss underwear! and they were only like $1.50, down from $12 cuz they were having this like huge sale and shit. it rocked me. wanywho here's some quizzes cuz i was bored. You're a natural born trouble-maker. You hate authority and do everything you can to get around the law, or in some cases, break it. Naturally stubborn, you hardly ever sway once a decision is made. Your nature is fiery and courageous, and always out-going. You love attention and usually have kinky fetishes you're not afraid to explore. People either love you or hate you. What Type of Soul Do You Have ? brought to you by Quizilla Your serial killer name would be Diablo! You would be a mastermind in what you do. You would come up with perfect plans on how to do your bad stuff, and send out your minions to do it for you. That would prevent you from getting caught, because for one reason, they would not rat you out. Your real name might not be known and you would be greatly wanted, because as long as you're out on the hidden streets, there will still be danger! You're the big guy/girl! What Would Your Serial Killer Name Be? What Would the Public Know You As? brought to you by Quizilla Goo!! You are SALVADORE DALI. You paint the bizarre and surreal. No one can figure you out, and everyone has given up trying to guess what crazy thing you'll do next. Your friends look forward to whatever outrageous endeavor you will engage in next. Which famous artist most reflects your personality? brought to you by Quizilla You are Form 8, Demon: The Destroyer. "And The Demon took advantage of the chaos and seized civillization. With grace and style, Demon slit The Goddess's belly and drowned the world in her blood. The Goddess, The Demon, and the world were no more." Some examples of the Demon Form are Seth (Egyptian) and The Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Christian). The Demon is associated with the concept of destruction, the number 8, and the element of earth. His sign is the full moon. As a member of Form 8, you are a very strong willed individual. You don't let others' opinions sway your own and you're usually not afraid to speak your mind. However, some may see you as a bit overly passionate but it's just because you never back down from your values. No matter what, you always do everything with style. Demons are the best friends to have because they will back you up. Which Mythological Form Are You? brought to you by Quizilla Your Led Zeppelin, raw harsh vocals, insanely fast guitar, deep booming thunder from the drums, and the rhythmic hum of the bass, you had it all, Your are on of the greatest bands of all time. What Classic 70's Band Are You? brought to you by Quizilla post comment

is it better to burn out or to fade away? [26 Nov 2003|08:47pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | machine - yyy's, bright lights - matchbox 20 ] well if you read my journal and i was talking about doing what i should do, that was breaking up with dillan. and i did, but we got back together. well it never got any better, maybe for a week tops. we broke up today and i don't think i could be any happier. it's the best thing i think that could have happened. i was just getting so tired of being treated like shit. he changed since school started, i'm guessing it 's the people he hangs out with and he's been acting like he's single anyway so hey why not just let him go. i guess we'll still be "friends" but that's said after most relationships end and i guess we'll just see if that would actually happen. oh well. thanksgiving is tomorrow. i'm going to a family gathering. then friday i'll be going out to eat for my nanny's b-day. hopefully on saturday i'll be getting hella drunk, maybe go to the mall/salvation army/ movies something like that with phil, mike, and jess. it should be fun times. i have 2 more kitties! my g-rents had this family of strays around their house and a month ago we found sophie and this past weekend we found her brother and mom. they're soo cute i love em. well i think i'm breakin off, peace out. post comment

my favorite color dildo is PURPLE! [25 Nov 2003|07:20pm] [ mood | indescribable ] [ music | free bird - lynard skynard, you & i both - jason mraz ] survey x. father thinks I am: having a constant need to be protected and sheltered, but he also believes i'm brilliant except for my lazyness x. mother thinks I am: negative adjective, but from time to time she'll throw in a beautiful or smart/talented x. my ex thinks I am:hmm wouldn't know, we don't talk x. three things you are often complimented for: uhm clothes/shoes, hair, i get random compliments x. you get embarrassed when: hmm i dunno i get embarrassed when i do/say something stupid and other people see/hear me x. makes you happy: i'm easily amused, but recently its been old movies(john wayne, frank sinatra, jimmy stewart), my animals, and my friends x. upsets you: trashy people, being treated like shit/getting walked all over, most people in general x. you keep a diary: yeah a few x. you like to cook: eh i suck at cooking x. you have a secret you have not shared with anyone: yeah i'm sure i've got atleast one somewhere x. you're in love: ... x. you set your watch a few minutes ahead: yeah like 2 mins depending on other clocks of course x. you bite your fingernails: ::sigh:: yes x. you believe in love: I believe in a thing called love the cutest female you know: hmm that i know? well me, but i dunno i'm jealous of christine right now i wish i had her hair. The weirdest person you know: uhm dave tory & that group of kids, ha jess is a weirdo ::whispers:: keep it in the circus the Loudest Person you Know: hmm tiph the Sexiest Person you Know: uh me of course Your close friends: i have a few Most Boring Teacher: wellll, if mr shirmer wasn't hot, his voice would put me to sleep your most overused phrase on IM: hah, heh, omg, stuff like that the last image/thought you go to sleep with: changes nightly your best feature: well i really like my eyes, my mom tells me they laugh when i'm happy and laughing, i'm sure others would say hair or something Inside joke: i have... ALOT take a shower everyday: yeah have a(any) crush(es): eh people are hot think you know you've been in love: ... want to get married: yeah i'm gonna have a rich/famous husband have any tattoos/where?: not yet piercing/where?: nope get motion sickness: if i read in the car think you're a health freak: heh no get along with your parents: we go through good and bad times thunderstorms: i like em WHEN YOU SEE THIS NAME YOU THINK Of Ryan: dunn (a & b, c----> on down to d) lol Rob: bie wiliams, don't know why Drew: barrymore (lucky girl) Stephanie: bitch from wwe, bologna Heather: my sister Aaron: erin, ame's g/f Amy: heh , jess's sister, ame Will: the little one Paul: the ugly one Eve: the rapper John: jon bon jovi Laura: croft Alex: douchey dick Dave: my fav color dildo is PURPLE! Justin: timberlake, yeah he's hot so what Ricky: menudo Jacob: hmm i like that name i don't know anyone with that name Jack: dawson;s creek SIGN: Cancer NATURAL HAIR COLOR: Brown CURRENT HAIR COLOR: Brownish red EYE COLOR: brown BIRTHPLACE: da ville PA ( FAMILY ) PARENTS: insane at times SIBLINGS: 2 sisters LIVE WITH: the fam FAVORITE RELATIVE: hmm, i dunno ( FAVORITES ) NUMBER: 8 COLOR: red, pink, black DAY: hmm i dont care but i guess a friday or saturday MONTH: october SONG: hmmm i have way to many, right now i can't get jason mraz's you and i both out of my head FOOD: mmm chinese SEASON: fall, then spring SPORT: ice hockey DRINK: Water VEGGIE: hmm broccoli, carrots, salad ( PREFERENCES ) CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT? it depends on my mood CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE? Hot Chocolate MILK, DARK, OR WHITE CHOCOLATE? dark VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE? chocolate ( IN THE LAST 24 HOURS, HAVE YOU.... ) CRIED? yeah HELPED SOMEONE? hmm yeah actually BOUGHT SOMETHING? yep GOTTEN SICK? nope GONE TO THE MOVIES? nope GONE OUT FOR DINNER? hmmm i went out to pick up my chinese food lol WRITTEN A REAL LETTER? uhm no but i'm going to in a little bit TALKED TO AN EX? hmm i don't think so MISSED AN EX? No WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL? uhm no, but this is going in there TALKED TO SOMEONE YOU CRUSH ON? eh HAD A SERIOUS TALK? i wish it would have been but having that person laugh when you're being serious can be a problem MISSED SOMEONE? eh yeah HUGGED SOMEONE? yeah FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? uhm surprisingly i don'tthink so FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? hmm no name 10 bands you recently listened to: 1) bon jovi 2) tenacious d 3) the strokes 4) yeah yeah yeahs 5) foo fighters 6) incubus 7) The Darkness 8) no doubt 9) steve miller band 10) phantom planet name 9 things you hate: 1) stupid people 2) trashy/slutty people 3) not having $$$ 4) depression 5) crappy music 6) having to deal with shit when i shouldn't have to 7) family problems 8) people just not understanding 9) life not being like the movies Would You Ever.. 1. Eat a bug? eww no 2. Bungee jump? yep! 3. Hang glide? if given the oppertunity 4. Kill someone? nah i couldn't unless it was self defence or something 5. Have sex with someone you don't love? probably not 6. Kiss someone of the same sex? well i'm not really planning on it so no 7. Have sex with someone of the same sex? no doesn't do anything for me 8. Parachute from a plane? sure 9. Walk on hot coals? i'd try it 10. Go out with someone for their looks? yeah i'm shallow 11. For their reputation? hmmm maybe if its good 12. Be a vegetarian? maybe but probably not 13. Wear plaid with stripes? if it doesn't look bad 14. IM a stranger: did it 15. Sing karaoke? ha sure i guess 16. get drunk off your ass? did it 17. Shoplift? did it 18. Run a red light? almost did, it turned red while i was in the intersection 19. Star in a porn video? nah 20. Dye your hair blue? i havethe dye i gotta wait for summer 21. Be on Survivor? f that 22. Wear makeup in public? uhm i do 23. NOT wear makeup in public? i have but i hate doing it 24. Cheat on a test? did it 25. Make someone cry? if they deserve it 26. Call your math teacher a motherfucker? hmm not to their face but i dunno i might if i feel it's neccessary 27. Kick a baby? aw no 28. Date someone more than ten years older than you? oh shit yeah i would 29. Cuss out a priest?omg no 30. Take a job as a janitor? eh no i don't clean 31. Wear a tho-tho-tho-tho-thong? i have and i don't like it 32. Stay up all through the night? did it 33. Drink straight espresso? ha sure quotes: after reading jess's i felt the need to put in some quotes, also i don't feel like getting into shit. if i leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me? i must be traveling on now, cuz there's to many place i must see. if i stayed here with you, things just couldn't be the same. cuz i'm as free as a bird now, and this bird you cannot change. -- "free bird" lynard skynard don't let the world bring you down, cuz not everyone here is that fucked up and cold. remember why you came and while your alive, experience the warmth before you grow old. --"the warmth" incubus boy you're just a stupid bitch and girl you're just a no good dick. -- "black tongue" YYY's Hey you! could you ever fall for me? the way i fell for you, and do you dwell upon the thoughts that i occupy? or do you give yourself things to do. -- "friday night" the darkness Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.' --Jack Handey The trouble with real life is that there's no danger music. --The Cable Guy i shot a man in reno just to watch him die. --"folsom prison blues" johnny cash i saved latin. what did you ever do? --rushmore i'll keep the pain that i have bottle up inside, but that doesn't mean that what you did was alright. -"invasion of the sunlight snatchers" phantom planet post comment

john wayne movies get me through the day [16 Nov 2003|05:53pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | nothing ] yeah pablo you are awesome. i think i'm hurling into a mild depression. i've been getting real sad and unhappy in spurts recently. i'm just angry at my life. it's like i'm not allowed to be a teenager until i'm 18 and then i only have 2 more years left. i got grounded for getting a ride home from school. yeah ridiculous right. i hate my bus, it's boring and all the people on it just brag about who they;ve fucked or what drugs they've done. it's like whatever you did that shit your a rebel without a cause hot damn...who cares. i'm not allowed to drive with anyone that hasn't been driving for a year. so i was like hey phil you owe jess a dairyqueen let's go, and he was like ok cool. he's been driving for a year and i drove with him at homecoming as well so i thought well i'll just call my rents and say hey is it cool if i do this. so we went to his house which is right next to the school to use his phone and my dad was like obviously pissed but he said go ahead. i get home and he tells me i'm grounded cuz i'm not allowed to do stuff like that. i was only home maybe half and hour later than i would have been if i rode the bus. then my mom comes home from my grandparents house(she's there almost everyday, all day, so it's like i don't really have a mom other than a few hours before i go to sleep)and says i'm grounded for 2 weeks. even my dad said that's over done but hey he's whipped so he'll do anything my mom says so that he doesn't get yelled at. that pisses me off about him, it's like he seems awesome and on your side but he won't go against my psychotic mother cuz he doesn't want her to flip on him. she has to have someone on her side or she freaks out and thinks everyones against her. i hate it. i've even been told by them that i'm not allowed to make my own mistakes until i'm 18 cuz then i'm responsible for myself. i mean jesus christ, i keep up my grades(i just got honor roll) i never get in trouble at school, and i help out at home cuz my mom isn't home alot. i even take off school to stay with my sister(she's handicapped) if noone else can be there. my mom actually wanted to make me only be able to do one thing per weekend. she threatens that on various occasions when she thinks i'm planning things without getting her approval. but you have to find out if something is ok to do before you ask your rents if you can do it. i'm not gonna go ask my rents , hey can i got to jess;s this weekend, before i even know what jess is doing or if her rents say it's ok. thats just stupid. they just don't get it. i want to go out and have a semi non boring/sheltered life. they're excuse is that they want me to be alive for when i turn 17, 18 and so on. but if i'm not supposed to be alive then it's not really their decision anyway, only one person has control over a person's life. they say i'm not supposed to blame them if i go to college and don't know what to do withmyself because of all the newfound freedom. but they blame parents for the outcomes of giving their kids freedom now. i don't think i'm a bad person, they say that they don't think i am either. but i don't feel like they trust me enough to make any kind of decision for myself. they say you'll have plenty of time to make your own mistakes. how do they know that. i could on my first day of college without them get hit by a car just walking down the street. going back to my first complaint. my dad was the one when he was 16 to drive people around, his other friend hada licence too and it didn't seem to be a problem to drive with him. my mom was a badass, going around doing who knows what. she says it was cuz her rents didnt care about her. how can you blame your rents for something that you did and tell me that i can't blame them if i go do crazy stuff when i get my first taste of freedom? it's fucking ridiculous. if i had a little more allowance to do some simple things maybe i wouldn't have to waste you the person who's reading this things time. or atleast maybe my entries would be more interesting. post comment

straight outta compton! [10 Nov 2003|01:54pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | ole - the bouncing souls ] damn i love bam's new show, lat night was i think the funniest one by far with the drawbridge and compton ass terry. my friggen sister like met someone who parties in west chester and like knows that if bams' in town he'll probably show up there so she might go. i'm jealous. well i guess dillan and i kind broke up for a few days but we're back together now. i'm leaveing in like 5 mins to go see the matrix with him. and then i'm getting my as sto drivers ed. i guess i'm gonna break off then cuz i gotta get out the door, 1 comment|post comment

gooch [02 Nov 2003|04:15pm] [ mood | weird ] [ music | i believe in a thing called love - the darkness ] wow no one updates anymore, myself included. i'm just super duper lazy i guess. things are a little weird for me right now. i've been doing alot of thinking. and i think i know what i should do, and i know what others want me to do but there's a part of me that's like arg i dunno just keep on keeping on with what you have and it'll get better. i dunno i guess i'll just have to give it a little time and have some patience(i heart g n' r) on friday (h-ween!) i went with jess and kate to jason's house and hung out with him, alex and dave. it was some good times. there were some other people there but cuz they weren't like center of attention they left. oh well it would have been dumb if they stayed anyways, eventhough there might have been a fight (you so could take her kate, and i'd be throwing down cash on that one lol). oh well it's be cool if we do it again... then again we might next weekend but hey who knows. i went shopping yesterday with my mom and aunt. i got some sweet clothes and makeup. and the chinese food i had kicked so much ass it was insane how good it was. yeah i can't remember much else that went on last week. i'm still sick which is insane...oh yeah i didn't go to school for 2 days last week. heh, and on friday i dressed up 80's style for h-ween. never again will i wear pumps and sturrup pants. aight well peace out. post comment

everybody hurts...sometimes [25 Oct 2003|10:17pm] [ mood | hopeful ] [ music | everybody hurts - rem ] yeah. that last entry i wrote in somewhat of a rage. i tried to take it out later that night after i sat and thought about it. i think it was some sort of therapy in writing that out and then talking to someone about it. i think everything's going to be ok with the whole situation. i saw 2 really good movies today that made me feel good about myself and make me just think that with the bad there is always a good. and vice versa. they were real women have curves, that just speaks for it's self considering i am a curvacious lady hehe. and the other was radio. though, yes, it was possibly a dramatization of the truth it was still a really great film. i thought alot more people would be mean to him than what there already was, like in real life, people always feel a need to make fun of the handicapped or retarded, it's incredibly ignorant. the movie is a tearjerker. i just got really into it and i was moved. i recommend it for everyone to see. well i'm kinda tired and i don't feel like being online so i'm gonna break off. peace out post comment

life seems unreal, can we go back to your place? [22 Oct 2003|05:31pm] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | alone , together - the strokes ] i think i've lost total faith in the human race. there are a few good people in the world today. it really makes me want to stop going to school cuz that's the worst shithole in the world of skeezy people. it's too much to put up with, i'm becoming such a weak person who gets pushed around. it's my fault that it's happening cuz i let it happen. but people as a general whole aren't helping. i just feel like saying fuck everything. yeah fuck you if your reading this and being like oh poor baby orsome shit like that. i don't need your pity. post comment

sound tigers can suck my balls! (if i had any) [19 Oct 2003|09:35pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | free bird - lynard skynard, numb - linkin park ] well lets see. what have i been up too. dillan came over on thursday. that was real cool. my mom has no idea that he was over which is really funny but hey she never wants to come home so why not. friday i went to the football game to sell stuff. it was pretty fun but holy shite i was freezing COLD! yeah i said cold lol. and i think i'm getting a cold now. [look at the fags! they're holding hands!] damn that kid was loud. it was raining too which sucked. on saturday i went to da bears hockey game with jess and ame, hot damn that was a good time! we were 6th row and they had a bunch of fights. they have hardly any guys from last season, about 12 maybe. ha jess and i had a yelling contest. everyone went silent and were watching us and we tied. woot woot and then later on i actually beat her ahahaha. da bears won 3-1 OH YEAH! then today i did ohhh about nothing other than some school projects due tomorrow. there are a shitload of movies i wanna go see, arg maybe next weekend. well peace out til later on. post comment

what are you saying to me? take that cock out of your mouth to talk to me... [16 Oct 2003|04:24pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | my sister and i talkng about kitty names ] You are Marilyn Monroe. You seem happy on the outside, yet you are haunted by inner demons. Which vintage pin-up girl are you? (Results contain pictures) brought to you by Quizilla damn i had like 5 quizzes and they all dissappeared but one grr, next time. awww i have a new kitty. she's a little girl but we haven't decided on a name yet. so i'll get back to you on that. i got drunk and went to school today. igot drunk before i went to driver's ed yesterday too. i was soo tired and i kept falling asleep.and my teacher asked me i i was ok and i was like yeah i'm cool and he kept talking about underage drinkingl it was crazy. well i'm breakin offf, dillan's coming over soon. 1 comment|post comment

i heart my sister to the max [11 Oct 2003|01:38pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | alone together - the strokes ] well it's not really my rents that suck anymore. i'm going to hc, but i don't really want to. i'm going cuz everything is paid for and i put money into it. so i'm going. it's tonight by the way. i went to the football game last night and i had a really great time. it was alot of fun and i almost peed myself laughing at various things. we were going to sell stuff again but we got sidetracked so we didn't. last night i had a fight, verbal of course, with dillan. i dunno where it's going bt we're going to hc tonight so who knows. but the greatest thing of all time well it's in the top 5 happened last night! it makes me just wanna say fuck everything else this is awesome! i talked to fabrizio!!!!!! holy shit how cool is that (he's the drummer for the strokes if you didn't know). my sister went to the concert in philly , i'm not allowed to go cuz i'm 16 and my rents don't let me do anything, but anyway, she was waiting around in the back area around the bus and he came out and she waslike FAAABBB! talk to my sister! and he waslike hey meg what's up. how arre you? and im like omg hi i'm doing pretty well, and he's like how are things at home? and i waslike decent you know and he waslike yeah and i waslike how was the show? and he said he couldn't really be the person to say it was great but i should ask my sister. and i was like well i heard you from her phone for a couple songs and you guys sounded great. and he waslike wow really that's awesome. and then he waslike well i have to go i'll be seeing you soon right? and i waslike IHOPE SO! aahhhh it was so rockin! manda was like telling him about me and he signed something for me. holy shit how awesome is that whole thang! wow it was like at midnight or somethig and i was jut like omg this is sooo fucking cool. awww he's so kickass. aight well i gotta go get ready or play video games whichever my add makes me do first. peace out 1 comment|post comment

if you're struggling from loneliness, you are not alone. and yet you are so very alone. [09 Oct 2003|05:00pm] [ mood | frustrated ] i want to hit something, or break something. everything's being fucked up and i'm doubting everything. i'm not excited about hc at all anymore. my rents are being super gay. AHHHHHHH!! i don't know what to do with myself! post comment

turkey suuub [05 Oct 2003|08:57pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | everclear's sparkle and fade cd ] well hello everyone. it's been a week i guess.hmm what have i been up too. well i'm sick now. my throat is weird and i might be losing my voice or something. i think i got it from tiff or kate. oh well. what can i do now. on friday i stayed home and watched my sister. i watched some movies. yeah everyday this week i watched a kevin bacon movie. i watched wild things, hollow man, and trapped. all have semi to total naked shots of him hehe not bad. on saturday i went to the mall with dillan. i love him. yeah i said it, lol oh well he already knows. uhm we got him something to wear for hc. from what i know he quit his job cuz they wouldn't give him that day off plus other days off that he wanted. his mom is soo nice she's like becoming my second mom. then after i got home i talked to jess and we went back to the mall. she got a super cute hc dress and jewelry on discount lol. chinese food rocks my world. and then from there we went to see school of rock with my sister. holy shit that movie rocks so hard! jack black is my idol. seriously everyone must go see it. then i went back to jess's where laughter ensued and i almost pissed/drooled on myself. ha good times. uhm today was boring when i got home. i just basically hung out. i watched the southpark movie that i bought on saturday, did some laundry, watched some cribs, and talked to mike a lil bit. uhm other than that i think the school/espanol sitch is ok but then again i thought it was from the getgo. i get to read to little kids on monday. hurray i don't like kids. peace out yo. 2 comments|post comment

turkey suuub [05 Oct 2003|08:57pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | everclear's sparkle and fade cd ] well hello everyone. it's been a week i guess.hmm what have i been up too. well i'm sick now. my throat is weird and i might be losing my voice or something. i think i got it from tiff or kate. oh well. what can i do now. on friday i stayed home and watched my sister. i watched some movies. yeah everyday this week i watched a kevin bacon movie. i watched wild things, hollow man, and trapped. all have semi to total naked shots of him hehe not bad. on saturday i went to the mall with dillan. i love him. yeah i said it, lol oh well he already knows. uhm we got him something to wear for hc. from what i know he quit his job cuz they wouldn't give him that day off plus other days off that he wanted. his mom is soo nice she's like becoming my second mom. then after i got home i talked to jess and we went back to the mall. she got a super cute hc dress and jewelry on discount lol. chinese food rocks my world. and then from there we went to see school of rock with my sister. holy shit that movie rocks so hard! jack black is my idol. seriously everyone must go see it. then i went back to jess's where laughter ensued and i almost pissed/drooled on myself. ha good times. uhm today was boring when i got home. i just basically hung out. i watched the southpark movie that i bought on saturday, did some laundry, watched some cribs, and talked to mike a lil bit. uhm other than that i think the school/espanol sitch is ok but then again i thought it was from the getgo. i get to read to little kids on monday. hurray i don't like kids. peace out yo. post comment

SWEET IRONDY! [29 Sep 2003|03:23pm] [ mood | indescribable ] [ music | bandages - hot hot heat, abracadara - steve miller band ] well ever felt pissed off but your not really sure what's pissing you off? then you just end up getting pissed off even more cuz you can't figure it out. that's how i was feeling all day. i was just like UGH no more school. it's been a while since i've updated cuz this things a cock master and it's always like page error after i write alot and finally update. last thursday i went to dillan's. we were hanging out and then his mom calls him upstairs and asks him if we are having sex. wtf? we were just making out and whatnot. and i guess she had the talk with him or something. i dunno, it was weird but then jess and scott came over and we went to the Y to smoke up in the woods. that was crazy dillan was like omg there's a car and a guy coming. so we like ran through the woods and shit. i thougth we were gonna get caught or something. then we went to seans and then back to dillan's to eat and hang out some more. it was good times. uhm friday jess, heidi, and i sold pom poms and ear warmers at the football game. it was fun and we won the game (only cuz we were there of course). phil d hung out with us, brynn and jason helped us sell some of the pom poms too which was cool. saturday i worked, last day! then i went to the hospital afterwards to go visit my g-pa. his lung collapsed and his heart stopped on friday when they were doing somehting to his difibulator. when i was there he had a tube down his throat to help him breathe but it's out now. i guess he's getting better. he's a fighter for sure. sunday i went to the mall with jess and we messed around with people for our speech project. we went up to this guy on either side of him and got real close to him and told him he smelled pretty. her's was freaked out and mine said thank you. we followed some old lady too. she was kinda scared of us. and then there's today. what a piece of shit it was. i dunno how i'm feeling. like family problems suck right now. i wake up to fights, i go to bed to fights it's just crazy. i got really pissed in english for some reason i dunno but then i was talking to christine and kayla and i didn't really think about it. yeah mrs simonic talked to jess and i today about spanish club and us not having good communication or a good relationship with a certain member. i dunno where she's coming from with this unless something untrue was said cuz it's not like i go out of my way to be mean to her. i don't even pay attention to her anymore it's just like ok i dont' wanna be friends so you go your way i go mine. i don't wanna get kicked out of espanol club but we might unless everything gets better. i thought everything was fine but i guess not for her or something. i'm just not gonna kiss anyone's ass. well i'm breaking off cuz i'm hungry and bored. peace out... post comment

no braces for me! ::does mini tribal:: [17 Sep 2003|05:09pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | mandy - barry manilow ...yeah so what? ] well hey hopefully this thing won't get all f-ed up like the last 2 times i tried to update. its been forever like 2 weeks. i can't really remember all that's happened but i shall try. well today i FINALLY got my braces off. it's been like 5 going on 6 years with them and that's just insane. i decided against the surgery for now so i'll just be wearing some retainers til i finally want it and if i don't ever want it then i'll just stop with the retainers all together. i feel really weird. it may sound odd but i forgot how it felt to have the inside of your lips touch your teeth. it's crazy man. crazy. uhm i've been working at the salvation army for the past 2 saturdays and i will continue to do so til the end of this month. last weekend was sooo tiring. standing for 7 hours. and then dealing with people who must be color blind was kinda bothersome but we dealt with it. i went over to dillan's got a little high and went to see once upon a time in mexico with him and garret. it wasn't as good as i thought it would be but johnny depp was hot so it was watchable. i just wish i could have understood it a little better. uhm let's see, school is going pretty well i guess. as well as school can be. i'm in like 5 clubs. student council, horizons, art club, i guess dillan signed me up for sadd , and hopefully by the end of the week i'll be in spanish club. yeah call me miss school spirit... and i'll roll my eyes at you. <--- pure cheese i actually kinda wished i went to school today. but my appointment was longer than i thought it would be and i went driving so it wasn't too bad. hahaha i just realized i can't itch my hand with my braces anymore. i'm trying to get used to it. :) 2 comments|post comment

foreskin??!! goooooooo!!!! [03 Sep 2003|10:31pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | ragdoll, fly away from here, pink - all aerosmith ] James Dean you are A rebel, differnt from the crowd, people like your creative personlity. What old Movie Star are You? brought to you by Quizilla yeah that's some hottness right there. but frank sinatra is number 1 out of the possibilities. You're a Sapphire. You seem to be unreachable, but deep inside, you are really a nice and warm person. You are elegant and get along well with people once you know them. What Jewel Are You? brought to you by Quizilla yeah that's about right well i tried updating before but it got f-ed up or something. so i'll shorten what i said. i saw KISS and AEROSMITH!omg it was soooo awesome i loved it. they rocked my socks and then some. dillan who is the greatest took me and we were like 50 feet from steven tyler when he got there and he was wazving his jacket aroudnd his head at us cuz we were like omg woooo! and so were the other people that say him. uhm that was sunday, on moonday i went to the mall with my mom and sister and i took jess cuz it was park city and it's akickass mall so she had to experience it. shit that was kickass how jess got a special discount on that stuff from hot topic lol. its just too easy. but that day was awesome. cinnabons rock and so do iced mochas. well tuesday was the first day of school. oh my it wasn't that bad. as good as school can be. i have decent classes but i'm gonna drop entrapenur (lol i coudn't stop laughing at what jess had in her journal). the run down is art, world cultures, speech/info processing, gym(so kickass cuz it's all slackers like only 30 people and heidi's in it with me), chemistry for 2 pds(mr shirmer has braces and rambles,if you listen to him for more than 2 mins you'll go insane), lunch with good people which rocks, english(hopefully it won't be too bad), entrapenur, and pre calc. i haven't talked to miguel and aj for a while but now i am it's awesome and i talked to nate p. that was cool he's a good kid. well that was some of today and yesterday. i have been having sooo many thoughts runing through my head recently. i dunno what i should do about them. surpress them maybe i dunno. angie's back! aw she finally came back to our school this year. it's awesome. she's in my speech class. i didn't get any classes with tiph. or lindz. that sucks. man shwandell you need to come back. granted the kids at your new school are hot but still some younger kids are hot and some of the other ones got hot. lol. well i'm being forced to go to bed so peace out... 2 comments|post comment

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