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Thursday, August 21st, 2003
Blah blah blah
What am I supposed to write today? I don't remember. I have this feeling like something big is coming and I'm supposed to be just sitting around waiting for it to happen. I don't even know what it's supposed to be. I need a job but something inside feels like I will find it when this "thing" happens or whatever. It's messing with my head. I feel like slamming my head on a countertop. Blah blah and more blah.
I feel like I have no companion. You know someone who puts you first on their list and you put them first on yours. I guess I mean like a best friend or something. I mean, right now, I feel like I'm just floating around. I've got friends yeah, but not the companionship I desire. I mean, I pretty much put my mom first. She's the one I go to. She's the one I count on. I don't feel like she feels the same about me though. I don't feel like anyone really needs me. I mean, they may want me around and that's cool. I don't want to get on anyone's nerves but I want to feel like... I don't even know. It's like I'm wishing for something that won't come to me. It's not like I'm wishing for popularity or to be worshipped. I'm not even wishing for true love. I don't need true love. I have plenty of love. It doesn't matter what kind of love it is. I'm just happy that I have love in my life. Anycrap: I'm probably just bitching about something I can't do anything about or something like that.
Right now I'm just going to find me something to do until what ever is going to happen happens...
I'm becoming interested in different spiritual beliefs or religions (whatever you want to call it).
If anyone comes across this and knows anything about Taoism, I would appreciate your information. I'm doing my own research on this and other related religions(pretty much anything that is catagorized under Paganism). You know, Confucian, Egyptian, Buddhist, Wiccan, Olympian, etc...
Any information would help even if it's just a little...