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[23 Jun 2003|03:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
I'm lost and confused and I have no idea what is going on.
Someone just fill me in.
I hate everything right now. And I especially hate myself. :(
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| Wow... |
[13 Jun 2003|02:21am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
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His breathing really is almost like music to my ears. |
] |
*breathes in one again from the feeling of being next to him. Crawls out of bed once he's finally dozed off and walks to the lap top where he just updated; turns back and glances towards him smiling happily before putting my hands to the keys. Goes to his update and starts reading...*
....
Never in my life did I think I would find someone as sweet and more than perfect than Joel is. There was a time when I had thought boys sucked too. And I swore to myself that I would never love anyone anymore. But Joel, in so many ways brought me to my senses and made me realize that true love does exsist.
I'd have to say that tonight was the best feeling in the whole the world. We made love the for first time and everything seemed so perfect as our bodies were intertwined as one. Each time he ran his fingers through my hair these feelings on contentment washed over me. I knew that he was the one person that I could spend my intire life with and not have to worry about a damn thing. It feels like if he's my by side I can accomplish almost anything.
He's right about the words in a dictionary.. I could never ever find the perfect word to describe how he makes me feel. And this love that I have for him, is stronger than the word "love", it's much more powerful and different. It's not "love" because love is over-rated. It's just more than that.
There are things in life that are inevitable; I am powerless to control them. The Sun will rise and set, the tide will come in and go out, the seasons will change, the birds will fly South for the winter and return in the spring, and the caterpiller will transform itself into a butterfly. Just like my love for you.
Joel, from the moment we met, I knew that our friendship would develop into something lasting and precious, just as I am sure that the caterpiller will one day become a beautiful butterfly. I believe that our love is blessed by God. It is a union of two spirits destined for everlasting happiness. Thus, you have truly become the star of my life which brings me light in this dark world, and warmth when I need it. You offer me the promise of renewal, the joy of living, the peace of mind that comes from sharing and caring, and that shoulder to lean on in times of stress. You are my life and I will cherish you and love you forever.
Thank you, Joel. Thank you for making my life complete.
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| Shit. |
[09 Jun 2003|03:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crappy |
] |
Long time no update.
Umm. I have nothing to say. But hi, I miss Joel okay. I miss him so fucking much. Okay. Yes thanks. Damn.
The tour is over and here I am sitting on my ass. I must see him somehow sowhere. Just omg. I suck. :( Pierre take me with you to go and see Paul or something, anything. AHHHHHHHHH. I'm going completely insane.
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| OOC QUICKLY... |
[20 May 2003|03:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bitchy |
] |
[[ Hi. My name is Taynia and I'm not Avril Lavigne. So would you please stop commenting in my journal if you aren't part of the Wicked_Intent Community. I'd make this journal friends only, but really feel there is no need to because I don't care what people think and if they wanna copy my shit they'll only get bitched out, but for the love of fucking god, please fucking stop commenting my journal cuz HI I'M NOT HER AND AND I'M NOT GOING TO REPLY BACK TO YOUR PITTY. It's a roleplay, I don't care if you have problems in real like my character because it's a fucking character and not me and my life. DER. Okay. How stupid can one be too? Fucking really. Yeah, I look just like Avril Lavigne. Oops? Actually not, because I'm black and no where even near looking like her. So yeah just get away from my journal! THANK YOU!
=Taynia not AVRIL! ]]
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| Updating cuz I should. |
[16 May 2003|08:41am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 okay |
] |
| [ |
music |
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That camel toe song, lmfao. |
] |
Even though I don't have anything to say, I'm updating cuz I bored this morning. I woke not feeling really well, but it was okay cuz Pierre cheered me up. I must say the tour is going really well and hanging out with the guys of Simple Plan and GOB couldn't be any cooler. I love my boys too. They just don't really care about as much as you think they would. They won't even get journals, but that's a whole nother story and yeah whatever.
Benji you own me this week. Your giggling has to stop. ;)
And yeah, I'm going to spend time with Joel this weekend and I can't wait. It feels like forever since I've seen him. God, I miss everything about him and I'm still so overwhelmed that we are dating. I feel like I'm living a dream for one thing. I never imagined myself to be with him out of all people.
That's my update.
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| >:O |
[08 May 2003|08:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 hopeful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Simple Plan; Addicted |
] |
Hi. My name is Avril and I miss Joel like crazy. Grrrrr. Tomorrow night after the show, I'm going to leave and just go and find him! I can't stand this distance thing, especially not after that intimate moment we shared. I need to see him to know if it's real. Being apart only shatters things and worries me. I'm mad at Pierre because last night he left without me! :(
And yeah, you know what really pisses me off right now? Aaron! And that's because he's this lying hypocritical asshole. He says he'll come around and never does. And that's just wrong of him because he's playing Sarah out like that now. He did that to me too, Sarah. He's NOT WORTH IT! >:O
So later y'all
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| Wow. |
[28 Apr 2003|11:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 complacent |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Joel's soft breathing. |
] |
I'm falling in love with Joel...
I haven't quiet falling yet, just that I never expected it all to be as perfect as it is. And to be honest, I'm such a hypocrite because I was the one that said I'd never fall for "guys" again and or give a crap but the moment Joel came into my life it seriously all changed. He's nothing like anyone I've ever met before and I don't think I want him to change because he truly is making me think twice about everything I ever said about guys. He's the perfect example of someone that'll treat you right. And I'm so glad he's mine.
I really wish I didn't have to leave him tomorrow. I'm going to miss him so much, but I know we'll see each other sooner than we think. The tour is going so great and I'm having so much fun with it so hopefully things will go a little faster and I'll be able to see him.
So that's all from little ol' me. Take care.
-Av
PS. Benj you should make me a layout too. *wink wink*
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| *blinks* |
[21 Apr 2003|12:17am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
Joel and I?
I mean... just woah.
I might be dreaming.
Wow. Okay, umm more tomorrow.
Thanks so much Benji, I fucking owe you!
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| Well, well, well.... |
[18 Apr 2003|03:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Evnescence; Bring Me To Life |
] |
Looks like I've died and not that it really matters and what have you. I only talk to Benji around here anyway. And I feel really bad for him and I'm going to do my best and try and cheer him up even if it's only over the phone. :(
The one person I thought I had a chance with blew me off and I haven't seen him since. Isn't that just lovely? And you know I actually thought I had feelings for someone else and now he's fucking taken too. My life is just miserable. And by touring I'm making myself a tad bit happier but nothing beats getting so damn depressed after a long day on the road.
I shouldn't complain though because not all the happy couples are going to be happy anymore cuz they'll be on the road as well and it'll be lonely and so I don't want to be bitchy about it. Pierre you need to come and keep me company. I need my Canadian! :-/ And I'll take care of you for Paul. Heh.
Well, I really need a new layout and new icons and eeh just a whole new life all together.
La-de-da, I'm out now.
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| Stupid Avril! |
[04 Apr 2003|01:02am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 pissed off |
] |
I should have known. *frowns* Guys suck. Period. Fuck.
God, why did he have to go and do this to me. I really liked him. And ew I can't even go to Evan and cry to him because he hardly cares anymore. Guys suck. Dammit. And I said that already, ugh. Don't be surprised if I turn lesbian on you or something. Ew. Ew. Ew.
Dammit.
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| Oops. |
[01 Apr 2003|10:44am] |
| [ |
mood |
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contemplative |
] |
And so it's been a while since I've updated this thing. I'm sorry. I think I've been in Aaron land. I miss him muchly too. He's real busy working on his tour and songs for the new album. I know how he feels in that department too. I really would love to just drop everything and go and hang with him, but I can't. These reharsals for my tour are so overwhelming I might just like pass out or something soon. Eh, I think I'll survive. So how is everyone. Though, I'm never on AIM, I miss y'all a lot. And I'm really sorry for not being around. So yeah count me in on trying to be around more often. And with that it's adios! ;)
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| An update *gasps* |
[26 Mar 2003|04:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 flirty |
] |
So it's me and Aaron eh? I would have never thought that but hey at least it's someone.
And I have nothing else to say. :-* to all y'all though.
More later and this time I'll keep my promise. I just want to wait till Aaron makes a sappy update or something before I do anything extreme. ;)
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| :-/ |
[19 Mar 2003|05:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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cranky |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Daniel Bedingfeild; I Gotta Get Through This |
] |
So a few things that need to be said here.
* I watched TRL, it was adorable cuz you know Benji had pink hair so just made the whole intire thing adorable. I love you dude! And Joel omg stay as cute as you are! Werd.
* Like Pierre, omg. Fo' sho' did yo' kno'? LMFAO. I'll promise do "not to do that next time" kthnx!
* Evan left me. :( *sniff sniff* Eh, it's okay. Not like I had ever had the chance to tell him I was in love with him. I mean oops? Well, it's over with. See that's why I related to Matt ya know. So yeah, Aaron has this crush on he me won't admit it. Whatever happens with that, fine but I hope he knows I hate to be toyed with my emotions.
* New layout cuz I wanted to be like Benji and Pierre. I'm a follower! *snorts*
* And that is all. Avril is done being an ass.
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| *blinks* |
[19 Mar 2003|12:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Bowling For Soup; The Girl All The Bad Guys Want |
] |
Aaron has a crush on me??!?!?!
Umm, yeah. More later when my eyes aren't playing tricks on me.
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| Ew. |
[16 Mar 2003|01:15am] |
| [ |
mood |
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bitchy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Girl All The Bad Guys Want |
] |
People need to die like Pierre said OOC. I do hope it's painful too.
Fo' reel' fo' sho' I don't give a shit what anyone thinks of me.
I love you Benjjjjjjjjjjjj. Don't feel sad down or depressed. I know you are. Werd. Mmk thanx! *snorts* People are dumb and stupid and need lives if they wanna go and try to fuck up yours. Psh, whatever. I love you.
Pierre my sexy Canadian.. just fo' sho' we rule like omg whaaaaaaat?!
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| mmmmm matt. |
[15 Mar 2003|11:35am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 amused |
] |
And that is all. Haha.
That makes what 2 crushes on two guys that'll never want me. *sighs*
I'm so wonderful and great. I should just turn lesbian. Haaa. I always fall the gay guys anyway. :(
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| Sup... |
[13 Mar 2003|08:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Simple Plan; I'd Do Anything |
] |
I talked to Aaron today and he's really sad. Why do I always end up talking to the people who are sad? It makes me even more sad and depressed than I already am. But I'm not trying to be depressed it's just all this stress that's been on me because of the tour and not being able to people how I *really* feel about them. Hint, hint, nudge, nudge! :-/ Eh, whatever. I even fell for a person that was taken *twice*. How stupid can I be?
Benji and Pierre I love you both and I hope all stays well for y'all. You've had your ups and downs and things are working out again. I hope it stays that way... and yeah just don't worry about me. :-/
And lastly...
I think I have a crush on someone...
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| *frowns* |
[09 Mar 2003|05:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Simple Plan; Addicted |
] |
Okay so long time no update from me. Been kinda busy with the tour. I can't wait till Simple Plan comes around with us, it'll be great. :D
I am in a good mood today actually so maybe I'll come around tonight. We've got a lot of new members since I've last been here. My favorite SP'er too. *winks* at Chuck heh. We talked last night too. Too bad you don't like me and stuff...err I mean yeah and I know who you like. Hmmm. Hot stuff. Omg, I sound like a dork today. I think it was the candy I had earlier.
And can I mention I keep missing Evan all the time. *sighs* It's so hard to talk to him. Why is that were both THAT busy and stuff?! *shrugs*
Well, I'm off now.
Happy Birthday Chad, I hope you and Jordan do all sorts of fun stuff together. *wink*
Later.
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| :-/ |
[04 Mar 2003|01:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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crappy |
] |
I need some Benji cheering up cuz yeah I'm all emo once again.
And Evan is here but then again he's not and you know that just sucks. :( I'll never be able to talk to him anyway. :-/
My tour just started and well it rocked the first night of course. I love being on stage. And I have nothing more to say now. *shrugs* I just really hope that my boys come around here more so I'm not that lonely.
Come cheer me up Benj!
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| >:O |
[01 Mar 2003|12:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
Benji and Pierre, you're going down tonight. That is all.
And Kelly, I'd love to talk to you again so I hope we can. I'll be on tonight. Sorry if I missed you last night I was on for about an hour.
And this update was so darn pointless.
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