you dont see me
i dont see you
aurora - im god.
thinking in the past..

April 27th, 2006

10:57 AM

so.. did you guys notice how i start all my journal entries with so.. or so yeah..
im terrible.


<3,
&rew

you're in high school again
1 NO RECESS


10:50 AM
The Long Dark Road Out Of Insanity

So yeah.. the last couple days have been extreme..
first off..
the show went amazing..
thats all i can say..

rich.. an old roommate.. and someone i thought was a friend.. had our power cut off..
so for 3 days.. we were 12 crazy ass kids in a dark ass house with nothing to do but drink and play acoustic music.
so last night.. darwin drinks a bunch of this beer he made out of wormwood..
wormwood causes madness..
darwin went mad.
we fought.
for a long time.
it was exhausting.
we broke lots of stuff.
Like my nose.. his throat.. things like that.
and somehow.. in all of that.. andyman got his head busted open.
power is back on today.
you can almost watch the craziness seep out of everyone.
the madness of the night finally turning into the laughter of the morning.
me, andy, and darwin are still covered in blood.
and im sore as a mother fucker.
darwin says i choked him out three times.
i dont remember really.
except the last time i choked him out.
(darwin is also my drummer)
this is like the third time me and darwin have hooked up.
he's getting better.
i used to be able to take him with ease.
last night.
well.
im covered in blood.

i dont have a girlfriend anymore.
though we havent been dating for a couple months.
we arent talking anymore i guess.
why?
because every girl i get with.. goes insane.
its all my fault.
im a terrible person.
and i dont even know what i do.

i hurt.
i was super depressed yesterday.
i drank from the moment i woke up untill me and darwin fought.
i didnt eat all day.
SLOW DEATH BABY. SLOW DEATH.

anyways.
fuck the man
i love you all
<3,
&rew

you're in high school again
1 NO RECESS


April 20th, 2006

8:36 PM
Show tonight...

so yeah.. aurora kalieda has its first show tonight..
in about 2 hours actually..
and yeah.. im so fucking nervous.. my stomach is doing flips and my head is spinning..
idk..
blah..

<3,
&rew

you're in high school again
1 NO RECESS


April 7th, 2006

10:39 AM
Life.

So. Me, Justin, and Darwin finally jammed a full set last night. First time as a full band. (Without me singing.. ive lost my fucking voice. yay!) We have started recording a higher quality demo with drums and whatnot, but havent gotten very far.. cause of my voice.
And our first show is 4/20.
I'm ready.
I've been ready for years.

I'm at work.
Fuck work.


My house has been going through alot of wierd politics. I don't like it.


Anyways.
See you on the otherside.

<3,
&rew

you're in high school again
2 NO RECESS


March 15th, 2006

3:51 PM
Religious Symbols Of Faith, Violence, And Murder

If you worship the cross, I'll worship the gun.
I'll worship the gas chambers that cleared out the jews.
I'll worship the sticks and stones they've used to keep us down.
If you worship the cross, I'll worship the gun.
I'll worship the whips the cracked the slaves backs.
I'll worship the bars that have held all the stars of a revolution that'll never come true.

you're in high school again
2 NO RECESS


March 6th, 2006

10:23 AM

Oh these wheels we've been turning in our lives.
It's not really all for anything.

you're in high school again


March 2nd, 2006

2:24 PM

So i started my new job today..
im actually at work right now.. .
on my lunch break.. i like this job.. its chill as fuck..
making 7 dollars an hour.. which isnt great.. but plenty for the work im doing..
yeah.. work..
andrew. is. WORKING.
WOAH.

&rew

you're in high school again
2 NO RECESS


February 28th, 2006

8:17 PM
Update

So everyone, music.. is begining to unfold.
Me and my drummer have 8 songs down pat.. and we are working on many more...
We are almost definetely going on tour this summer...
and we are definetely playing hellcious amounts of shows in buffalo and the surrounding area as soon as justin gets back in town..
I dont know.. it makes me.. feel like.. i really havent wasted all my time in the last 10 years..
darwin has all kinds of crazy ideas for our stage presence.. ie.. a spinning kaliedascop of colars projected onto the ceiling above us.. (aurora kalieda)
but yeha.. idk.. music is my aeroplane..
and maybe now.. it'll take me for a ride..

&rew

PS... hello cara.. (i knew it was you.. youdidnthavetosay)

you're in high school again


February 22nd, 2006

9:15 PM

I'm black and blurred. A child of something we wasted years ago.
I'm not a shade, rather the object blocking the light.
Am I something?

Spange, Busk, Sign on the dotted line.
Tendons and bones don't always work together.
Do you want to die? 25,06,73....

Raised Surface and discoloration.
My new whine.
my new wine.
mine knew whine.

Terrible Excuses.

you're in high school again
3 NO RECESS


February 14th, 2006

8:01 PM

Sane water, I've run out.
Sane water, I've run out.

Blow out your face in a fit of sobriety.
Drink with the sun and moon won't come.

you're in high school again


January 21st, 2006

10:48 AM
Baby Blue

Flay her down to her flea collar.
Trembling, precautionary,
Run to the Magdalene.
Child I’m sorry, I’ve taken so long,

There is trash in the trees,
And the trash that is hacking is making diseases.
There is trash in the trees,
And the cracks in our hands will tell the stories.

A way around the false bravado,
Tremulant, tremulant,
You’ve lost your body.
Child I’m sorry, I’ve taken so long.

My broken mirror reflects through the dirt,
Who is the fairest? Who is the fairest of them all.
My broken mirror reflects what I want.
Who is the fairest? Who is the fairest of them all.

There is trash in the trees,
And the trash that is hacking is making diseases.
There is trash in the trees,
And the cracks in our hands will tell the stories.

My broken mirror reflects through the dirt.
Hey reflection, I’m guessing, what you’ll say will hurt.
My broken mirror reflects through the dirt.
Hey reflection, I’m guessing, what you’ll say will hurt.

A way around the false bravado,
Tremulant, tremulant,
You’ve lost your body.
Child I’m sorry, I’ve taken so long.

you're in high school again


January 16th, 2006

10:56 PM
The Pied Piper

The dominion running this world into the ground,
Is drawn with horns and an anthem, and rains tyranny.
I know the numbers that translate your name.

The monitors are watching, they know everything.
The monitors are watching, they know everything.
Suitable competition.
We’re suitable competition.

Two thousand years I’ve been fighting it off in a river of snakes that are burning alive.
He’s crushed rocks with the sound of his voice.
He’s built worlds with the sound of his voice.
Three billion men will be fighting it off in a cloud of the oil with all the lights off.

They know everything.
They know everything.
You can’t hide your secrets, your visions, your dreams.
You can’t hide forever, they know everything.

Flamboyant instincts gripped by a fevered dialect.
Crushed by his weight like infinite insects.
Inspect the dialogue, dissect the words that he uses.
We’re like rats in the water, the piper is leading us on.

The monitors are watching, they know everything.
The monitors are watching, they know everything.
You can’t hide your secrets, your visions, your dreams.
You can’t hide forever, they know everything.
We’re drowning.
We’re drowning.
We’re drowning.
Like rats in a gasoline river, here’s the piper on the nuclear bomb.

you're in high school again
2 NO RECESS


1:37 PM
Woke Up This Morning

I wake up every morning and light a cigarette..
i go outside and soak up the sun for a few minutes..
untill i no longer have to squint.
the sun gives me my cheer in the morning.
I come in an assortment of colors and shapes.

you're in high school again


January 11th, 2006

12:26 AM
Detachment Of The Lesser Giants

I've had alot of angels, some with carbonated wings.
They talk threw fingertips of furious misfortune.
Scrape you eyes with dirty alibies.
Burn into your sides. Burn into your sides.
Stuttering through syllables, I can't speak my mind.
You drank from the water when they turned their backs.
Despite lack of mystery the sap sucks them in,
Left without scratching, my sine qua non.

Get out, Get out, from the nuclear meltdown.
Get out, Get out, another reason for the fakers in control.

You better wash your mouth, you better watch your hands.
You better watch your mouth before we take your hands for the good of man.

Hanging, Hanging in the backyard with a pile of crime,
Hanging round, my demon tongue has got me into a bind.

I've had alot of demons, some with badges for minds.
They talk threw fingertips of furious misused power..
Scrape their skin, you've never given in.
Burn into your sides. Burn into your sides.
Stuttering through syllables, I can't speak my mind.
My fingers ache from scribbling everything you said.
Despite lack of influence the wall stands strong.
Left without scratching, my sine qua non.

you're in high school again


January 9th, 2006

4:20 AM

diop
glie
sftrew

asewdf
ivuejki

SWAY SWAY SWAY

you're in high school again


January 6th, 2006

2:39 PM

They Don't Make 'Em Like That Anymore.

I'm in Jacksonville.
Bleh.

I'll be here a few weeks...
then back to buffalo.

help me not go insane.

you're in high school again
1 NO RECESS


December 29th, 2005

1:29 PM

I'm back in Buffalo.
Birdhouse.

you're in high school again


December 25th, 2005

3:11 AM

So I haven't written.. or spoken to many of you for a while...
First.. Please, no one take it personally.
If i have ever said the words i love you to you..
then i meant it.

I feel that i should talk a bit about whats going and in my life..
you know..
a current events kinda thing..

So yeah.. its christmas right now. I'm awake. Burning a feng shui incense.
It smells amazing. It smells like the first incense i fell in love with actually. whose name i could never remember.
it reminds me of when i was 16 and i firsted moved to buffalo.
i would light the incense and walk to the railroad track and follow it down to the old abandoned station.
sometimes i would bring my guitar.. and sometimes i would write.. but most of the time.. i just went to think...
who knows the thoughts that went threw my minds at those times..

so i dont know my friends.
None of you seem really surprised that i have a home.
I real house.
That I can say is mine.
i don't know.. is it that you expected it to happen to me?
cause i sure as fuck didnt.

New Years @ 92 Bird In Buffalo, NY =

At least 3 kegs of good beer.
Live Music Including;
Mischief Brew (from Philly)
Evil Robot Us' (from Buffalo)
Cum Commando Chris And The 80's Hustlers
Trystero (Buffalo)
Aurora Kaleida (Me and Justin's Band)

It's going to be the greatest thing ever.


In other news,

YOU GUYS BETTER GET UP WITH ME!


love,
&rew

you're in high school again
2 NO RECESS


December 23rd, 2005

10:41 AM
Guess what?

Some how.
I'm Home.

you're in high school again
4 NO RECESS


November 12th, 2005

4:16 PM
Tootsie rolls pops are people too!

You know.... things are wierd..
I've melted into someone who likes to believe that everything is peachy.
And it is.

I'm sick of going to court.
I've got three legal things going on in my life right now..
Actually four..
but one of them goes with the other..

The house. The Kid trying to run me over. And the Stolen Carrabeaner.

Ricotta cheese is good on lasagna.

I live with 10 people.

My room is cold, but warmer now that me and justin plastic'd our windows.


I didn't realize it, but I've been dating the same girl for four months.
That seems like a long time to me.


Me and Justin are working on another cd.. because the one we just finished, is not only roughly done.. but is also all acoustic. And me and justin have to much electricity to be unplugged.

I'm still the fucking noise.

6 months from now... I'm going to change life as you people currently know it.
You'll just have to wait and see how.


I'm coming to Jacksonville in a week or so. When all this court bullshit is done.
For like a two week visit or something.
Hopefully I'll see some of you.

Alyce. I miss you.


I have the dryest skin in all the world.

thats probably not how you spell dryest. I think its actually driest.
looks like Dr. Yeast.

I am still the fucking noise.



Kool-Aid Stains on my cigarette butts make for pretty looking airplanes.

Europe is far away.

I'm learning to know everything by knowing nothing.

I'm now holding the worlds largest tootsie roll pop.

But its only stuffed.


If you havent been able to figure it out by now. I really have nothing to say.
In fact, I've never had anything to say.
In fact, if you are still reading this, I've been fooling you for years.

The akward union of body and mind.

My house is painted funny colors.

I've had a girlfriend for four months.

I don't think Justin wants to live in buffalo anymore.
Makes me feel like I've done something to abandon him.
Even worse, makes me feel like I've irreversably changed his life.

Maybe I'm just paranoid.
He doesnt want to go anywhere.

I want to teach someone to tie their shoes.

I am still the fucking noise.
(Don't Forget It)


&rew

you're in high school again
1 NO RECESS



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