.[l.o.s.e.r.g.e.e.k.].'s Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
.[l.o.s.e.r.g.e.e.k.].

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(1 bubble | blow me a bubble)

stolen from lizie bwahahah! [19 Jan 2005|11:41pm]
[ mood | angry ]

I am: bored
My hair is: a bit messy and wavy - i didn't bother straightening it today..
Makeup: none, cos i couldn't be bothered..
I'm wearing: Navy blue pj top with stars, white knickers with green spots on, black bra.
I'm eating: nothing but I can taste red onions that I had in my sandwich earlier
I'm drinking: last drink was green tea
I'm listening to: peep show on tv
I'm feeling: ... weird...
I'm thinking: about the gig tomorrow. about the twats in my appartment. feeling sorry for jamie
I see: my laptop, my computer, my happy tree friends calander (yay!), cds, clothes, books, gba.. usual stuff
I need: to start my essay, pack for tomorrow, go for a wee in a bit.
I find: that i'm always tired or feeling ill..
I want: hot guy from the union (oooh i saw him again on monday standing at the top of the stairs in the union looking at me :D wooo)
I have: '15.34' written on my hand
I wish: I had money.. and that i was skinny
I love: cheese. And smudge. And my friends. And i guess parents and taid.
I miss: Laura, Paul, Jamie and my Lizie!!
I hate: Katie, Nathan and Jonathan
I fear: spiders, the future, lonliness
I smell: vanilla insense
I think: i'm not well
I crave: some toast
I wonder: why..
I regret: ugh. Snogging twaty Nathan.
I know: not a lot, really..

I just spoke to Jamie and he said Nathan had a right go at him earlier. Poor Jamie! He said that he heard me and Jamie whispering about Katie and Jonathan apparently. We probably were, but I don't remember. He apparently said a lot of nasty things. Jamie said he said something like 'I didn't think you would get involved in the whole flat situation but you obviously have.'
What the fuck?!?!
He was only talking to me about people. It wasn't anything nasty.
I don't fucking get it.
Yes, we were talking about Katie and Jonathan but not him.
Whats his fucking problem? He makes me so fucking angry, i swear i'm gonna twat him one.
I don't understand why hes off with me laura jamie and joe - just because we don't stick up for katie and jon - big deal! Its not his problem is it?
Arrrggghhh!!
Jamie doesn't care because he said he'd rather be friends with me and Laura and hot Joe. Also, he said 'Fuck him. No, eeewww!!'
HAHAHAHA. Nathan loves Jamie. But Jamie thinks Nathan is a cunt with a big nose.
Oh the irony :D

(blow me a bubble)

i love my bed [19 Jan 2005|01:23pm]
[ mood | okay ]
[ music | Death cab for cutie <3 ]

I'm updating this from my bed, at home. I luff my bed. I never realised how horrible my uni bed was actually.. its hard and nasty. I haven't slept well there over the last few nights - disrupted, cold sleep.
I'm glad to be away from Nathan, Katie and Jonathon. Me and Joe have formed a major alliance - we are united against the chavs. We're ace :) I was really upset Sunday after I went back to the flat. They all knew I was in, but didn't invite me to the pub and declared they were leaving very very loudly outside my door. K, N & J left. Joe knocked on my door to see if he was ok, he came back about 30 mins later to me crying on the way to the kitchen. How pathetic, hey? Its like primary school, secondary school and college all over again. Crying because people are ignoring me. Crying because people dislike me for no reason (other than not sticking up for them when these 'rumours' [which are true.. not lies..] were said [i'm not gonna lie and pretend i care]).
Blah.
Anyways, Joe is ace. Jamie felt really really bad because he didn't know I was back. He texted me asking to go into town with him Monday, and I said I would. We had so much fun. Lunch, town, shopping, taxi, labeling food, talking, giggling, League of Gentleman live, then he bought me some tea. He really cheered me up. He phoned me after my exam to see how it went, and popped around to come say goodbye to me. Nathan was crying because I'm spending so much time with Jamie (bwahahahaha). Jamie also revealed that he sometimes thinks Nathan is good looking, but most of the time he thinks hes minging. The few times he thinkings he is good looking, he ruins it by picking his nose - so Nathan doesn't stand a chance with Jamie :D
Why am I so pleased about that? That makes me evil doesn't it? Nathan is a twat though.
Which reminds me. After my crying session, I went to make some pasta (I was planning on having a pasta bake - mmmmm!!!). When I went to my big pan, where Nathan had scrapped all the paint off from mashing potatoes, it had gone rusty all the way through. So i wasn't too happy about that. I've asked him to buy me a new one, or give me the money, which may seem a bit harsh but it is his fault really. And if i did it to his pan, I would willingly replace it, even though I don't really like it.


So yeah, my exam!
I can't exactly remember the exact wording of the questions, but the first question I answered was something like Does Chaucer assert the importance of masculine values throughout 'The Knight's Tale?'
I saw this question and thought FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! For I only really know stuff about chivalry and courtly love when it comes to the knights tale. Fortunately, I figured courtly love and chivarly did kind of relate to masculinity - courtly love illustrates masculine values not that important for the knights' love for Emelye is central to the plot. Then something about male bonds for chivarly. I kind of got away with that.
Finished that very fast, in about 45mins which was worrying, I was wondering what I was going to do with the rest of my time.
Nervously turned over the page and scanned until it read Section B: Renaissance texts. The very last question.. I nearly weed myself.
Discuss how gender roles in two or more Renissance texts redefine constructed cultural expectations

SCORRRRRE!!!!!!!

I knew the answer to this using Othello off by heart. Because i'm ace.
And I could write just as much about The Dutchess of Malfi and even improvised and came up with a good point even if i do say so myself - the playwrite gives the Dutchess a non-female related role (artistocracy, money, power etc) to illustrate the importance of the stereotypes - her power leads to her downfall, unhappiness (for not being about to chose her husband for she wishes to marry beneath her) and death. Therefore 'Am I still thy Dutchess?' questions her identity and suggests her despair of not being like the birds who are 'free to choose their own mates.'

Quietly confident :) *fingers crossed*

I get my results on the 24th Feb. I will be glad as long as its above 40 really - because thats a pass. Obviously, 60s would be lush (2.1/first) but i doubt thats gonna happen.

My next semester rocks. I don't have lectures for Theory, I therefore only have one module which requires lectures! Nineteenth century literature, which i'm kinda looking forward to actually.

So yeah. Tomorrow means starting my essay... uuugh!

(blow me a bubble)

Jaffa tastic [28 Jun 2004|09:37pm]
[ mood | full ]
[ music | Dashy ]

Day 7 - The Lord's new world nearly complete, God accidentally discovered the Jaffa Cake. He spent all day resting (or getting fat off Jaffas) and France never was finished.
A while after that - A big snake tempted Eve with some Jaffas. Adam was dismayed, but then he decided it was OK, made a pact with the devil and is now living in Hell with a load of beautiful women and an infinite Jaffa cake supply.
2000 B.C. - Ancient Egyptians discovered the mystical forces of Jaffa. Two of the great pyramids have over 3,000,000 tonnes of Jaffa foundations between them.
0 A.D. - The new born baby Jesus is brought gifts by the FOUR wise men. Gifts of Gold, Frankincense, Myrrh and Jaffa Cakes.
About 400 A.D. - The Roman empire falls due to a chronic lack of Jaffa cakes.
1066 A.D. - The Battle of Hastings. Harold got a Jaffa cake in his eye. William the Conqueror taxed Jaffas for years afterwards.
1783 A.D. - The Boston Tea Party... People threw loads of tea into the sea. But they wern't stupid - they just ate all their jaffa cakes.
Present day - Jaffas available in every town. Full benefits of a Jaffa a day still unknown. Several varieties available. Ancient Egyptian variety has all but disappeared.


Yes, Amy randomness is back - if only for a little while

(blow me a bubble)

[20 Apr 2004|10:48pm]
[ mood | tired.. of it all.. ]
[ music | Sic Transit Gloria.. Glory Fades - Brand New <3 ]

yeah.. i'm abandoning my journal for a bit
all i write is depressing and i can't stand it.. i just want to cry whenever i think of how pathetic i am.
i'm trying hard to hide it and doing well.
hopefully when i update i'll be happier.


i'm such a twat

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades

Keep the noise low.
She doesn't wanna blow it.
Shaking head to toe
while your left hand does "the show me around."
Quickens your heartbeat.
It beats me straight into the ground.

You don't recover from a night like this.
A victim, still lying in bed, completely motionless.
A hand moves in the dark to a zipper.
Hear a boy bracing tight against sheets
barely whisper, "This is so messed up."

Upon arrival the guests had all stared.
Dripping wet and clearly depressed,
he'd headed straight for the stairs.
No longer cool, but a boy in a stitch,
unprepared for a life full of lies and failing relationships.

(Up the stairs: the station where
the act becomes the art of growing up.)

He keeps his hands low.
He doesn't wanna blow it.
He's wet from head to toe and
his eyes give her the up and the down.
His stomach turns and he thinks of throwing up.
But the body on the bed beckons forward
and he starts growing up.

The fever, the focus.
The reasons that I had to believe
you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed
but now it's choking me up.

Die young and save yourself.

She hits the lights.
This doesn't seem quite fair.
Despite everything he learned from his friends,
he doesn't feel so prepared.
She's breathing quiet and smooth.
He's gasping for air.
"This is the first and last time," he says.
She fakes a smile and presses her hips into his.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
He's holding back from telling her
exactly what it really feels like.

He is the lamb, she is the slaughter.
She's moving way too fast and all he wanted was to hold her.
Nothing that he tells her is really having an effect.
He whispers that he loves her,
but she's probably only looking for...

(Up the stairs: the station where
the act becomes the art of growing up.)

So much more than he could ever give.
A life free of lies and a meaningful relationship.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
He waits for it to end
and for the aching in his guts to subside.

The fever, the focus.
The reasons that I had to believe
you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed
but now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.

Up the stairs: the station where
the act becomes the art of growing up.

The fever, the focus.
The reasons that I had to believe
you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed
but now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.

(blow me a bubble)

[19 Apr 2004|04:12pm]
[ mood | tearful ]
[ music | dashboard confessional ]

well yeah
back in aberystwyth
at least one good thing is that means i get money
i have shit loads of work to do and zero motivation to do any of it. guess whos going to suck this year.
i havent gotten better. i dont even know why i write in this. i guess i dont want to read through old hand written journals and see the crap i wrote.. or when i'm an amazingly famous poet (...) i dont want people finding them like they found sylvia's and publishing them.
i havent been able to write poetry either. i struggled to force out one poem of the holidays. just one poem in three weeks. how pathetic. i dont even like it too much.
my throat hurts from trying to stop myself from crying
i cut up my arm and my legs. you can still see it a bit on my arms, a lot on my legs. i hope it goes totally before may ball and i hope im not stupid enough to do it again before then.
joy was great over easter. she thinks i should see a councellor, seen as though the prozac didnt work for me before - i doubt it would again, nothings changed. appart from getting worse.
i cant carry on i need to cry

(blow me a bubble)

killing time before lecture.. [26 Mar 2004|02:56pm]
[ mood | okay ]
[ music | Sweet 16 - Feeder ]

Opening credits: Silver - Hundred Reasons
Waking up: Beautiful Day - U2
Average day: Last Train Home - Lostprophets
First date: Butterfly in Reverse - Counting Crows
Falling in love: Turn Me On - Norah Jones
Love scene: Unintended - Muse
Fight scene: Guntrip - Seafood
Breaking up: Smoke - Ben Folds Five
Getting back together: When I'm Thinking of You - The Sundays
Secret love: something from Moulin Rouge.. Christan and Sattine's song.. can't remember what its called
Life's okay: Hotel Yorba - White Stripes
Mental breakdown: Ana's Song [Open Fire] or Emotion Sickness - Silverchair
Driving: Bohemian Rapsody - Queen :)
Learning a lesson: I Hate to Say I Told You So - The Hives
Deep thought: Silent to the Dark - Electric Soft Parade
Flashback: A Long Time Ago We Used To Be Friends - Dandy Warhols
Partying: Something cheesy but great.. like Love Shack :D.. alternatively Drinkin in LA - Bran Van 3000, or something else that i can't remember..
Happy dance: Bandages - Hot Hot Heat
Regreting: Yesterday - the Beatles
Long night alone: Everybody Hurts - REM
Death scene: The Scientist - Coldplay
Closing credits: Girls Not Grey - AFI

happy easter x

(blow me a bubble)

[25 Mar 2004|08:37pm]
[ mood | distressed ]
[ music | the bass from upstairs ]

the fucker above me is playing busted. Fucking busted. Its either busted (the school song), the sugababes (something about being caught in the middle) and 'prophets - last train home. I wouldn't mind so much if it was *just* the lostprophets.. but.. oh god.. now its Return of the Mac... hes also the guy who has sex for about 10 seconds really loudly.
I've banged the mop against my ceiling to try and shut him up.. it goes down and then up again.
i'm on chapter 23 of northanger abbey and i need to finish it by tomorrow morning.
i also need to take out my rubbish and hoover my room.
promised jonathan i'd help him with the kitchen..
i want to cry for all these pathetically stupid reasons..
home tomorrow though
yay

(blow me a bubble)

How to write an essay [16 Mar 2004|05:04pm]
[ mood | meh ]

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer.
2. Log onto MSN and ICQ (be sure to go on away!). Check your mail.
3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.
4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some chocolate to help you concentrate.
5. Check your email.
6. Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to the cafe and grab a hot chocolate. Just to get settled down and ready to work.
7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight,
comfortable chair in a clean, well lit place.
7a. If your room is not clean, take out the garbage and vacuum first.
8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.
9. Check your email.
10. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.
11. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.
12. Grab some mp3s off of kazaa (or dodgy illegal network)
13. Check your email.
ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR YET?!
14. MSN chat with one of your friends about the future (ie summer plans).
15. Check your email.
16. Listen to your new mp3z and download some more.
17. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your lecturer, the course, the college, the world at large.
18. Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum. You've probably run out.
19. While you've got the gum you may as well buy a magazine and read it.
20. Check your email.
21. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV.
22. Play some solitare.
23. Check out bored.com.
24. Wash your hands.
25. Call up a friend to see how much they have done, probably haven't started either.
26. Look through your housemate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.
27. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.
28. Check to see if bored.com has been updated yet.
29. Check your email and listen to your new mp3z
30. You should be rebooting by now, assuming that windows is crashing on schedule.
31. Read over the assignment one more time, just for heck of it.
32. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.
33. Lie face down on the floor and moan.
34. Punch the wall and break something.
35. Check your email.
36. Mumble obscenties.
37. 5am - start hacking on the paper without stopping.
6am -paper is finished.
38. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because
had to write that stupid paper.
39. Go to class, hand in paper, and leave right away so you can take a nap

Should really do my essay.. but comedy night!

(blow me a bubble)

[16 Mar 2004|04:52pm]
I look fucking stupid with eyeliner on.

I tried to take a picture but it didn't work.

And now my eye hurts.

(used Molton Brown toner to *attempt* to take it off. Its still there **rubs eyes** good job i didn't get contacts).



Ow.

(blow me a bubble)

something to do when i'm wishing the hours away.. [15 Mar 2004|12:37am]
Which Band Should You Be In? by couplandesque
Your Name
Band NameThe White Stripes
RoleVocalist
TrademarkMassive Amounts Of Eyeliner
Love InterestGuy Who Works At Starbucks
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!




What Makes You Sexy? by eva71
Name/NickName
Gender
Sexy Body Part IsEverything
Special Talents AreStalking Your Prey
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!




You represent... angst.
You represent... angst.
You have an extremely cynical outlook on just about
everything. It's okay to sulk and be
depressed, but life is short, and you only get
one. It's only what you make it, and only you
can make it improve.


What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

(blow me a bubble)

[13 Mar 2004|06:24pm]
[ music | If I could - Hundred Reasons ]

I can't concentrate. I can't do anything. I'm finding so many distractions, I can't even read a sentance of something before loosing concentration on it.
I have so much to do aswell, essay reading. I thought reading would be easier but i reallyc ant do it at the moment.
I feel like such a failure.
It was such an effort to drag myself out of bed today at 2.
I've done nothing. I tried to write my transposition, got some ideas but can't complete it.
Sat on my bed watching Thirteen - probably shouldn't have done - the main character was fucked up like me.
Told mark about it all cos he was really worried. Feel better, i think, not hiding much now. He doesn't know about so much though, the reasons it started - I think only Matt knows about that anyway.. and seen as though i dont talk to him anymore that is pointless. only lizie knows about the cutting. haven't been doing it though, which is good. but i want to. I want to so much. I want to get this horrible feeling out of me.
I'm so glad i'm going home on saturday - wish i was going home sooner. i'm going to spend so much money at home. i dont care - apparently its a symptom of my MD. hundred reasons will be cool, if i get out of this low in time. i dont want to be stuck crying in the toilets again.. thats become a big part of my routine when going out.
hate it, i fucking hate it

(blow me a bubble)

[11 Mar 2004|02:06am]
[ mood | drunk ]

whate lse us there wto do at this time of hnight when no noe is on msn other than IPDATE YOPUR JOURNAL!!!!!

tonight wasa reload and got a little bit drunk...
had an ok tuime. didn't pull as expected. feel like a drunk ugly fat heffwer.
had to try really hard nit to cry twice. if i had had somethingh with me when i went to the troilet by myself i wouold have cut myself. but i didnt and am too drunk to find anything now.#
saw little anna and she said 'hiya last time i saw you you were really drunk' whats neqw!!
nearly evberyone had someone.. shjou.d probably get laid with mark, will save time and hastle on both parts.
shoulod i stay up all nigth? i have to in my smeinar in 8 hpurs time.l
jonathon got us toast!!!
yay
he said that the beeping wias the fire alarm in the arts centre [- fire alrma!!
drunk depressed fat horrible a,my

(blow me a bubble)

[09 Mar 2004|12:03am]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | Pretty like drugs - Queen Adreena ]

This song makes me want to dance.
I think I've been a little better today. I got out of bed early afternoon (after getting a phone call from Specsavers at 9am - 9 am!), I got dressed and showered, ate pasta and sat at my laptop reading comics until I went to give in my writers art portfoilo.
Spoke to lizie a lot about what i'm thinking and what i'm gonna do and stuff.. i really need to go and sort myself out even if my mother hates it. its just dawned on me - my mother is doing a lot to hold me back from doing things america (which i guess was in my best interests), and prozac. Its good though, I'm glad shes intervened. I dont think doctors are allowed to give a just-turned 15 year old a full adult dosage of prozac. Or if they are i must have been more fucked up than i thought i was.
I was trying desperately to cut myself yesterday. Nothing was sharp enough. Everything I dragged across my doughy skin barely tore the top layer. It looked like i had been playing with a kitten all day. Even the red marks have disappeared - which is good. When i last did it here it was ages until i could push my sleves up again.
I feel like such a stereotype - the angsty teenager sitting in her room writing poetry about how much she hates herself - but i have an excuse

its called a degree


and i'm sticking to it.

I've supposed to of read Hamlet for my writers art seminar tomorrow, but i haven't. I have sparknotes open, but i've found spilling my guts out to faceless people more theraputic.. and reading other peoples blurties whos lives are far more interesting than mine.
I wish I could be as cool as you...

Eaten so much today. I know its not a good sign. Just as long as I keep eating after the binging sessions i know i'll be ok.
I've recently been listening to my King Adora album which I love.. but i hate that one song
skinny is sexy
sweet anorexia
skinny is sexy
big isn't beautiful


I certainly don't feel it, and i know i'm not. That shit about having a beautiful soul.. i don't even have that. I'm such a bitch and i hate it!!! I'm trying to write this in here rather than my normal journal - i don't want to look back in years and read it.. or for people to find it when i'm dead and publish it, like so many poets and writers.. i don't want to be pigeonholed.

(2 bubbles | blow me a bubble)

There isn't any sweetness in the dreaming [07 Mar 2004|07:43pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | Hard Candy - Counting Crows (attempt to cheer me up) ]

I'm so fucked up.
I got the place in Montana. I should be so happy but I just can't stop crying. Theres more than one reason for these tears and I'll get to that in a second..
I can't believe I got the place. Its amazing - how many people get the chance to go to America. I'm just not going to handle it, I know I am.
I'm sure i've got it again. I'm positive the bell jars fallen again. If I can't cope with this here, then how am I going to cope with it in America? Then I think its such an amazing experience! I'm such an idiot to turn it down. But I wouldn't cope there. Its something like 9-5 weekdays - I wouldn't have any time to sit by myself and cry. Yes thats a good thing. I'm so confused.
I just spoke to Darryl on msn - I was trying to talk it out with him but hes being so fucking annoying again. Saying that of course my parents would miss me (i didn't say that though - i said that my whole family were dead against it; they now are - they were all for it before). I told him not to talk to me like i'm stupid - he said 'no need' so I told him to fuck off.
Very mature, I know.
I can't handle being here.
I won't handle America.
I think I need to go to the doctors again. What am I going to say to them? 'Hi, I think my Manic Depressions come back again' .
Perfect.
I've got so much stuff to do and I don't want to do it.
I need to tell everyone I'm not going. Laura's going to be so pissed off at me - she really wanted to go and was hoping to live her life through me. I can't do it - I can't go for her. I need to do it for me.
I have a lot of work to do: reading and stuff. I can't concentrate on it.
If I get diagnosed again, then I need to go and make an appointment to see Matt Jarvis again and it'll go on my personal record.
Even more people to think I'm a freak.
I really want to use this opportunity. But I can't. I was thinking of going over and doing an MA or PhD over there or something.. I'll be older wiser (hopefully) with more money and less of these feelings.
I wish I wish I didn't feel like this.


** this isn't written for anyone but me.. i can't tell this to anyone of my flat mates or any of my friends.. lizie is the only person i can talk about this crap to and if i tried to talk to her about it i'd cry even more. its easier like this - sorry to put it in such an impersonal way

(blow me a bubble)

[02 Mar 2004|10:46pm]
[ mood | hyper ]
[ music | Silver - Hundred Reasons ]

Rich is so fucking hot gaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Smelliness has drove me insaneeee....
I have lots to do.
1. Ring specsavers
2. Ring taid
3. Add finishing touches to essay
4. Write FOUR poems
5. Remind lizie about H/R
6. Watch Rich's DVD (yummy rich-ness)

(blow me a bubble)

[26 Feb 2004|09:16pm]
End to it all
Falling down
Losing touch with anyone who ever stood their ground
If you could then I know I could too
Lost inside a maze of problems with you


Is it so hard
Every time I say
Won't you come and fight with me
Because if I thought I'd win you
Every word I'd say
Would come out wrong and make you look the other way
and if I thought I'd win you Time and time again
And if I did we won't be friends


And tell me I've brought you down again
Never the one I explained

Can't you...Don't you lie
There've been times when I've felt good because you're hurt inside
No thats not true I'm just acting tough
I don't know what it is im feeling
I don't know if you are enough


Is it so hard
Everytime I say
Won't you come and fight with me
Because if I thought I'd win you
Every word I'd say
Would come out wrong and make you look the other way
and if I thought I'd win you Time and time again
And if I did we won't be friends


And tell me I've brought you down again
Never the one I've explained

Cause I feel alive and it feels alright
Keep on telling me that it's over please
And I feel the warm
Lying in the sun
It's so hot in here
It's the clothes I wear
Dont you even ask
I won't let you pass
Cause my guard is up
And you thought I cared

(blow me a bubble)

The reason to never fall in love again [26 Feb 2004|08:34pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | lostprophets.. ]

I always get my hopes up and disappointed



Rich fancies Maxine.
Everyone always fancies Maxine.
We're having a 'gathering' on Sunday night and shes going to be there, and hes going to be there, and they'll just get closer and closer, and i'll get more and more depressed.
I'll make my excuses and lock myself in my room.
I really try not to get my hopes up, but it just doesn't work. If I go around thinking everyone hates me (which they most likely do at the moment) then I won't be disappointed if no one likes me.
I feel like such a crap, horrible person at the moment. I'm ruining everything for everyone. If I'm not at the 'gathering' then they'd have a good time, if I wasn't at the flat party then Trystan wouldn't be so shitty towards me and 'he would have had a great time' (quoth he)..
Blah.
*Decends down the path marked Self Hatred
meh
meh
meh

And I have so much work to do.
But I'm not going to my seminar tomorrow.

(blow me a bubble)

One day, vagina's will save the world [24 Feb 2004|06:25pm]
[ mood | hyper ]
[ music | About a boy soundtrack.. trying not to agrivate headache! ]

Oowey.. my head hurts :s got the feeling its going to hurt a hell of a lot more by the end of tonight because...

FLAT PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Yayness.
1. must get drunk
2. must seduce rich
3. must make tit out of myself (with lizie)
4. must tell trystan to wash.

Yaaaaaay.
Coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
Blah.
That is all.
Look at my website!!!

(blow me a bubble)

[09 Feb 2004|05:15pm]
http://www31.brinkster.com/aimeee

My new website! =) check it out

(blow me a bubble)

[03 Feb 2004|12:36am]
[ mood | sore ]

Owwee :(
My shoulder hurts - the one I crapped up a while ago :(
It's going to be crappy in lectures etc tomorrow (today) writing.
I can't sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not sleepy at all :(
Busy day - if i'm busy i'm ok.
Gerad, Trystan and Jonothan still suck. Mark's the nicest, even though he broke my headband today.
Seminar and lecture tomorrow - hope I get some writing done in the arts centre in between...
Adam's been hanging around a lot today.. makes me so uncomfortable! But he's really good friends with Mark.
Gah.
Poorly shoulder :(

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