A Sunset to Hold Onto...   
09:22pm 17/05/2006
 
mood: complacent
music: Death Cab for Cutie - Transantlanticism



I saw myself from the outside that day
Body weak and helpless, eyes glazed in dismay
I saw myself turn to search your eyes for guidance
But fire fell from the sky that day in nonsense

We were just friends, but I always liked you
I was too shy and hid my soul from view
Yet now as the clouds shriek hell's violence
I can finally hold your soft hand in silence

Shattered flecks of glass now collect on the grass
Like dewdrops of rain, they glow in a mass
My home looks haunted as it's shredded in two
But the home in my heart is forever with you

This world is bitter and I will not miss it
In your eyes I'll find solace from being a misfit
I would kiss you now, but my lips have bled dry
And my skin is crawling from the blood-red sky

The maw of the heavens has opened wide
Intuition rattles a final resting chide
Our eye's are still locked, now we turn in set
To watch the grand view of a bitter-sweet sunset

I felt your tears caress my cheek that day
It was the last thing I felt 'fore our bodies swept away
Like dust we floated and mixed with the earth
No longer a body, but remains of our mirth

I've never been a man to plead the world's end
But to touch your sweet hand, I would die once again.

 
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Everyone must read this who isn't an alchoholic nature perv   
10:48am 27/04/2006
 
mood: accomplished
music: Eskimo Bob song ("Eskimo Boooob")
Manatees Suck

Everyone remembers that annoying little girl from It’s a Wonderful Life fucking our ear holes with quite possibly the stupidest quote in the existence of man, “Daddy, teacher says that every time a bell rings, an Angel gets its wings!” While it’s shocking enough that her father doesn’t beat her for her obvious ignorance that Angels are ethereal beings with no necessity for wings, what’s more shocking is what he doesn’t say. My memory on the movie is a bit fuzzy, but to the best of my knowledge he slaps her and throws her out a window. Now what he should have done is tell her the truth. Every time anyone does anything, a manatee dies. Then throw her out the window.
Manatees are God’s way of bringing a little humor to life, a colossal joke if you will, like midgets. They were made for two things: to kill and be laughed at (just look at them! HAHAHAHAHAH). It seems that every day you hear about manatees being endangered and dying by the thousands. Ohs noes, you forgot to clip the little plastic ring thingies from your coca cola pack?! That’s at least 12 manatees dead. You put non-corrugated cardboard in the recyclables? Well shit, 500 manatees just died you shit head. Forgot to use a Kleenex when you sneezed that one time? Thanks pal, you just slaughtered over 8000 manatees. No seriously, thanks, that’s what they’re here for.
Yet environmentalists go throwing millions of hard-earned American dollars at the problem. Hey, I’m not one to argue whether or not they’re efforts are right or wrong, but I think we should go spending money on things that don’t DIE EVERY FIVE SECONDS. Here’s a best case scenario: a team of scientists determine the most efficient way to save the manatee is to copy the million dollar man, and make million dollar manatees. They spend billions creating super-manatee cyborgs that quickly dominate the world with an iron fin. Until, one day an enslaved human throws a jolly rancher wrapper at a trashcan and misses. BOOM! All the manatees are dead again and we’re back to square one.
Why are we saving these fat fucks? All they do is eat, shit, and float around. Seriously, just watch them, study them for hours, days, weeks, however much of your life you want to waste and I guarantee you documented observation of constant eating, shitting, and floating (also possibly fucking). Manatees aren’t made for anything useful, or to be saved. You can’t make a coat out of them, or shoes, or a hat; totally useless. Go ahead and let people harvest them for blubber and oil, gas prices are high enough, we need all the oil we can get.
I don’t really like killing any animals at all, and I’m not condoning the mass genocide of all animals that could propagate our wasteful ways of life, but most animals I RESPECT. If a manatee would just get up off its fat lazy ass and raise a chunky flipper stub to stop us, I would hand them some respect, and seaweed. But this is nature folks: the strongest will survive, natural selection, it’s Biology 101. If God wanted manatees to survive, he would have given them bionic rocket launcher arms. Instead, they were made for desperately lonely and/or drunken pirates to have sex with, and for the rest of the world to laugh at and kill: exactly like midgets.
What confuses me more than anything else, is how people are able to utter any word remotely correlating with beauty whilst saying manatee in the same sentence. Just how piss drunk do you have to be to find any beauty in a manatee? THERE’S A REASON THEY ARE CALLED SEA COWS! “Oh but they’re so graceful DERR.” WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!? I’VE HAD MORE GRACEFUL BOILS ON MY ASS. A perpetually drunken pirate with no more than a first grade education whose been staring at fish pussy for 20 years I can understand; I can see the beauty in a sunset, a pair of full voluptuous breasts, or a Lamborghini, but a lard ass seal copy? I bet if I squeezed a loaf out of my ass right now, glued some googley eyes on it, named it a “Fecaltee,” and then called up Greanpeace, they’d flock to my house and try to save it from drowning in the toilet.
Manatees are the fat ugly chick of the animal species. You know who I’m talking about: no man or woman alive will date her, but if you’re drunk and desperate enough, you might just give her the ole’ “paper bag special” and bang her from behind. “Keep that bag over your face ho, I SAID DON’T LOOK AT ME! It’s bad enough that I have to stare at the Fort Knox of cellulite flappin’ back and forth like a waterbed full of macaroni and cheese back here without having to look at your face.” And no reach-arounds of course, bitch doesn’t deserve special treatment; you just keep her around for the free sex. Same with manatees. Except for the sex part. Unless you’re a drunken pirate.
Now for the most confusing thing of all: HOW THE HELL DID SAILORS CONFUSE MANATEES WITH MERMAIDS? I may have never laid eyes on a mermaid, but I’ve seen pictures. Last I looked, mermaids did not resemble morbidly obese burn victims with Down Syndrome. All mermaids have humongous perfectly shaped bare breasts, washboard abs, Vidal Sassoon hair, Elizabeth Hurley’s face, and of course, Flippers backside for an ass. Mermaids are hot, manatees are not. Granted, I could never get it on with either one, but I can deal with the fish genitalia because at least mermaids can give head. But I’d rather offer up my balls to a meat grinder than stick my penis anywhere in or around a manatee’s face.
OK, to be fair I’m going to attempt to practice some parallel critical thinking here and put myself in a manatee-lover’s shoes. Here goes… I’ve been locked in my house for ten years eating sunflower seeds to survive. I probably tried jacking off to Sears catalogues for the first three years, but that eventually got old and now I just get violently drunk and start arguments with the refrigerator. After scouring my house, drunken and horny for the next seven years, I finally find out that if you TURN these little spherical objects on the rectangles around the outside of my house, they OPEN. It’s a bit frightening initially, but I take my first steps outside and am blinded by the sun, but I’m able to make out two sweaty dogs humping. Suddenly it hits me: this is the most graceful and beautiful sight I have ever seen. I run full speed to meet these “canine maidens,” but an SUV plows into them before I get close enough to witness their full beauty. I tell everyone about the “canemaids,” but they all tell me I’m crazy, so I get drunk again and become the president of FEMA.
If anyone reading this disagrees, I dare you to go out and observe a manatee for yourself. See if you can keep from laughing at their stupid flabby faces, and I challenge you NOT to kill them. My children, we must take a stance now, before Greenpeace gets a hold of enough money to engineer super soldier manatees with a thirst for human blood meats! If you’re still not convinced, well…

GO FUCK A MANATEE!

-by me

 
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A poem to lament...   
08:43am 06/02/2006
 
mood: Hurried!
Providence

A steely clash and then a flash
From a sweeping distant sentinel

These souls in shells
They did once love
To laugh, and sing, and kiss, and hug…

Set everything aside!
Make way for flesh on pride
A man must fight to protect his right
Whether his sway be left or right

But will he ever know
That he is fighting in a war
His eyes will never show?

The fuel of war is blood
Yet this blood that pumps is black
And we can never give it back,
To the veins meant in to flow

It is our destiny
To destroy that which we love
…and grow…
Better, Faster, Stronger
Stricter, Crueler, Hungrier

© Chris Clark 2006
 
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This poem is a Semi-Finalist to win $10,000!   
01:33am 03/02/2006
 
mood: confused
Depress the Care

Leaping hopefully beneath the sky
In vermilion shy lithe dye
As if to be inconspicuous
When mutterings are not enough
She steals away lust shards to lie

Careful not to let it end
Ravaged, raped, the mind distend
Distant sores reach oily pools
Encompassing universal fools
For the lie did never die

To hate the fear and loathe the hate
Pressure bows to some odd fate
Blue sowings from her eyes now lift
Love screams in pain as we open the rift
Left alone scattered,
Asking
Why?

Now for anyone who is actually reading this, I have a question (feel free to post your thoughts).

They will be publishing this poem for free in a poetry compilation book regardless of whether or not I win, but my question is this: Is it worth it to an impoverished college student such as I to spend $25 on an entire page dedicated to my own 100 word commentary to be published alongside this poem?
So many arguments flow through my mind: I would receive more publicity, more notice, and a tiny sliver extra of my own slice of tasty fame pie. I would have the thouroughly enjoyable pleasure of kicking out at least one page the other poet's would have used. People who may be intriguiged to know more about me will have the added chance to half-assedly skim through the first sentence of my paragraph, before turning the page in the name of all-American impatient dickholishness.

But it costs money, MONEY! Hell if I knew they'd be giving me $10,000 right now I'd write them a whole freaking Research Paper on the mating habbits of Quails... but I suppose thats not the point.

Well, you kiddies converse and delineate on the topic. Off you go
 
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A new Poem!   
10:42am 02/02/2006
 
mood: content
music: Johnny Cash - Cry Cry Cry
Fantasy Forever


I see us fly
Both you and I
With wings of golden feathers

Through sun striped sky
My fantasy
Naïve to mournful weathers

Above the stars
Above the moon
We float endlessly together

Yet down I sink
I open my eyes
No reward from time to think

My heart did swoon
I’ll join you soon
To touch the celestial end

This could not…
Cannot…
Will not be pretend

I’ll build my wings
Each day with you
For all my hopes be true

I must not…
Cannot…
Let this fantasy end

© Chris Clark 2006
 
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Long time no see   
12:58am 02/02/2006
  Dear journal, life is good. I have been doing the school and work thing for a while now, and everything is starting to pay off. 4.0 GPA, makin some money, improving my drawing skills, and now I'm even dating a girl I like. Not to mention I just recently won a contest for a mask worn by Nivek Ogre from Skinny Puppy, one of my favorite bands, and I was notified that I am a semi-finalist in a poetry contest to win up to $10,000!

Thank you God, I wouldn't have all this without you. Props to Jesus for diein for my sins, that was very nice of him. No crazy ramblings for this entry, just wanted to write a little.

It's funny really, when things are going great, I have no reason to write at all! I'm not one to gloat or anything, but I can't just let my journal die.

I have a websight setup, my own domain e-mail and everything for my portfolio now. My portfolio isn't much, good artwork, just not alot of it yet, but soon it will be lovely. I can't wait to get into studying art for real. I really do feel that I'm ready now, and I may even go back to the Art Institute of Phoenix if finances aren't too bad. But until then, I am content with climbing the community college ladder, even if it is a dinky stepladder next to the Art Institute.

Until we meet again journal, I must get to sleeping and all that jazz.

The End.
 
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fucking fuck fuckidy fuckers of funkington   
01:04am 31/08/2005
 
mood: lonely
I'm beginning to feel desperately lonely, and it is not a pleasant feeling. I need someone to care about, and who cares about me. I miss telling another soul they are special, unique, and important... I miss making jokes that deserve no laughter yet are met with giggles... I miss carousing about the house hunting my female prey like lion and gazelle... I miss warm enervating kisses that light my lips on fire... I miss soft hair... Falling asleep with an angel... Fighting about stupid shit then making up because both sides know it isn't worth it... lying in the soft lap of my lover... showering her with kisses... doubtless gazes between two love-birds that lock away animation, then single the duo apart from the rest of the world... holding hands at the movie theatre... someone to show your artwork to... the throes of passion that drench the body in scarlet emotion... I miss love. I even miss "like."

I need a girl friend.

sleep well everyone.
 
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Words of wisingtom   
01:02am 30/08/2005
 
mood: jubilant
music: Interpol - Evil
"Life is a series of elating, sedating, and berating quick-fixes"

A wise young fellow
 
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I made up a quote!   
04:26pm 23/08/2005
  "Some of the wisest people I've known have had to taste the dirt they tread before walking upon it."

Me-
 
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01:52am 23/08/2005
 
mood: giddy
Tymon sent me another letter! Hooray!

That is all.
 
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Holy shit I'm so excited I could PUNCH A BABY!   
12:33am 23/08/2005
 
mood: confused
music: Sting and the Police - S.O.S (Message in a bottle)
One of my friends, well pretty much my only friend that I've ever even remotely cared about on the interent, messaged me the other day. Her name is Remy, and I met her in some chatroom or something when I was 16 and she was 15. I knew her for about a year or so before she started getting into some very serious shit, and then dissapeared. I was worried for her. At one point I started to think that she might even die... yes it was that bad. She messaged me a few times over the years, but for the most part our meetings were disjointed or far apart, and she would msg me sometimes and things would be... strange. Strange in a bad way. I won't tell her whole life story on the internet, but lets just say that she's turned over a new leaf. I was so excited to hear it too, because I've never kept in touch with people soley on the internet before, and worrying about whether someone might live or die is worrying I'd rather not experience. I really am proud of her, and the way she talks I don't think there's anymore worrying for her, but I won't allow myself to become premature. I have only known her over the internet afterall, and yes I know she is really a girl and not a FOURTY YEAR OLD MAN.

Also I must say that she is very attractive and from what I know a very nice person, but hey... you can only tell so much about someone on the internet. I actually asked her if she wanted to talk on the phone today, but whether it's because she got wierded out, embarassed, or as she put it "wasn't a big phone person," I can't really say. The reason why I wanted to talk on the phone in the first place was because I'd rather talk than IM, especially when it's something serious, which is what we were talking about. That may have been the reason why she didn't want to talk as well, it was about her past, and a turbulenty uncomfortable past it was.

I used to sort of have a crush on her, well as much a crush you can have on someone on the internet heh. It didn't last very long however, and it was quickly replaced by a crush I had on another girl whose name I shall not name. Someday I'd also like to meet Remy, find out what she's REALLY like, but right now things must be taken slow. I'm not crushin on her anymore, but it's very intruiging to have someone you had a crush on come back into your life, and then to add on the mystery of the internet. It's very odd really, the whole situation, and I enjoy talking to her alot. I may never have a chance to meet her in real life, for whatever reason, but when you've known someone for 4 years you get kind of curious. Kind of... FUCK THAT... I hate this curiousity shit, I'm so bubbly and dorky when I talk to her... it's drivin me up the wall. I want to meet her, am I fucking crushing on her again? Lord I hope not, thats something I don't need right now. But hell, if I am, it's over the internet, and I know that crushes are easily replaced by new crushes or loves, and over the internet crushes account for very little in the way of feelings. It's her fault >:( she's always complimentin me, and then it FORCES me to compliment her back... plus she's HOT so, me being the honest person I am, I HAVE to say it to her. (For those of you who take thirty minutes to open a bag of fritos, that was sarcasm.)

I don't have to be so negative either... it is POSSIBLE that this assumable crush could amount to something, but no I very highly doubt that. She doesn't even live in the same state as me. Still possible though. Nope, it's not, never, never ever ever going to happen Chris. YES IT WILL! I LOVE HER AND I'VE ONLY TALKED TO HER FOR 2 DAYS NOW! True, but you know what you have to do now then. *Sigh* yes I know, I have to kill her. Right, and remember to wear the spookey mask and... YES YES I KNOW, the tight German Lederhosen. AND REMEMBER TO DEFACATE INTO HER MOUTH THIS TIME!!! HISSSS!! Oh shutup Greg, all you ever want me to do is shit in peoples mouths. HISSS!!! I ONLY WANT THEM TO TASTE YOUR DELICIOUS FECES CHRIS!!! HISSS!!! Greg, my feces taste like shit, face it. Yeah Greg, you're just totally insane. Thankyou Chris #2, you're always there for me. Telling me whose houses to torch, the best setting on the toaster to get the toast all crunchy and brown, but not so black and hard Little Kim would ride it like a bucking bronco, and of course... when to kill. Oh Chris #1, I love you. Uh-oh. What? Oh crap, I know I know... just kill yourself now and get it over with. OK. *Bleh* There. Ow, I'm dead.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA! JUST KIDDING! Man I'm so fucked up in the head sometimes...
 
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Zephyr   
07:21pm 07/08/2005
 
mood: chipper
music: My own humble whistling
As cherry blossoms glow distantly pink against verdant shores
A familiar trespasser gazes from afar -
Often Promsicuous, yet converging her sights upon a single nearby lip of branch.
How very wonderful, pondering to myself I presume.

The trespasser reaches with ghostly tips of heaven's breath,
She weavs in a cloak of amber leaves down the hillside.
Upon arrival, she twirls her fingers in mild frustration about a solitary graceful bloom -
Once fighting for it's right to lay still
Now flirting with massaging unseen coils.

Nothingness grips substance as the bud dances possessed.
Torn from it's mother, it reaches the sky then brushes the earth
Flying with an intangible joy that,
If one were to hold this moment in time,
The faintest nudge would send the world tilting round it's new axis -
This lone alluring cherry blossom.
 
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NINE INCH NAILS HERE I COME!!   
08:34pm 17/07/2005
 
music: Nine Inch Nails - Head like a Hole
WOoOOOo! I'M GOIN TO NIN! FLOOR TICKETS! YEEEAAH!
 
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Loo loo loo, I've got two apples...   
03:27pm 17/07/2005
 
mood: confused
music: Butters - Loo loo loo song
Holy shit, I'm going through so many changes right now. I've started school, I'm getting myself organized, I'm trying to balance things out and have fun and relax but at the same time keep at my school work. Melissa and I have exchanged a few e-mails after she invited me to come to her apartment warming party on the 23rd (I told her fuck no by the way, in an inoffensive way of course), furthermore I've met this girl Megan, Meg for short (betcha couldn't guess THAT one) and we have alot in common. We spent all day and night together on friday-saturday, and I had a really good time. We seemed to connect on alot of things, and she is very mature and intellectual. I can talk to her about practically anything, and she laughs at me on every turn it seems. Though why anyone would laugh at a boob like me is beyond me, maybe there was a hideous mustard stain on my forehead the entire time, I dunno.
So we went to see the new Batman, excellent flick I must say. I was impressed, and thus far deem it to be the number one best movie out for the moment. War of the Worlds was great in presentation and special effects, but when aliens with millions of years of evoluition and study on us invade our planet with far superior technology, slaughtering 80% of the human race, yet are unable to squash three measly humans and uncover the existence of the most basic life form known to man, resulting in their systematic extinction, I have to give it a big fat C. 3 out of 4 stars. You average piece of shit Spielberg, can't you come up with anything original anymore?
After watching the flying bat-ninja save Gotham, we went and watched the sunrise on the roof of my car. I have to say that this part was much better. Earlier in the day we were trying to get to a Starbucks, but me being the vermiscious absent-minded knid that I am, went the wrong direction and wasted about $4 worth of gas. Oh man, I have to laugh my ass of at that, I seemed to ironically forget where we were going or what we were doing half the time, as I was spending most of the time talking to Meg. But the ending, awkward to say the least, was fully interesting. Out of no-where (to me it seemed) she leans over and puts her arms around my arm and rests her head on my shoulder. FUCK. DAMNIT I'M ON THE REBOUND WOMAN, SHOULDN'T YOU KNOW THIS!? Oh yeah, I didn't tell her DERRRRRR. So awkwardness was in heavy supply at that moment. I had to tell her that I wasn't ready for anything of that nature, I need to take everything slow, and nothing is beyond friendships at this moment. I hope I didn't hurt her feelings :( I like her, it's just I'm not ready to even get into the notion of liking someone beyond a friend right now. She seemed to take it well however, and we sent some e-mails back and forth.
Now it would seem, the confusion sets in. I still have a latent memory of love for my ex, I have mixed emotions about this new girl whom I get along with marvelously (Plus she turns 18 on the 26, which is young regardless of how mature she is), I have the efforts of school to tangle my attention, Melissa still claims that she loves me in one way or another and wants to talk to me and see me, most of my friends are blinking out of existence, and somehow I seem to survive it all. I feel good. Confused, sometimes depressed or nuetral, but generally good. Hell, lets look at the facts: I have two girls that like me, I'm going to school and doing well, I'm getting organized and mature, my brain is increasing in knowledge, I've made at least one new friend, I'm being strong and reasonable, I won't give in to anyone, and change is written upon the wind. I will never let the child in me go, but I must become an adult. A childish adult.

Well, time to go play on the swing set. WEEEEE! SWING SET SWING SET!
 
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check it out   
08:59pm 11/07/2005
 
mood: blah
music: System of a Down - the Toxicity CD, not sure the name
Well it's been about 5 years since I've done HTML, and now I have to reteach myself >:( But, at least I know all the mechanics, soon I'll be taking classes in flash and maybe java, if I don't teach myself that too.

Check out the begginings of the sight though:

http://americanterrorism.bravehost.com

Sorry folks, no one cares about this poor little sight anymore. If you'd like to adopt it, attatch a response somewhere on my journal about it, if not... then this poor lonely and afraid websight will be destroyed :*(
 
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Something crazy this way comes...   
09:34pm 02/07/2005
 
mood: amused
music: System of a Down - B.Y.O.B.
Dear Journal:
So the other day I invented the internet and mugged this guy with penny loafers, I stole the penny's by the way, because I don't loaf. Then after flying to Australia to consult with Aboriginee Shaman about the nature of Tom Cruise being a fag, I swam to Japan to have some sushi. Sushi in Japan was highly over-rated, so I assassinated each and every yellow human-being in the nation with a sock full of oranges. It doesn't look like much, but you swing that motha over your head and it's a bitch when orange meets face.
I decided to do some stretching afterwards, because killing an entire nation in one day, however awesome I may be, is quite an exhausting task. While I was stretching, the strangest thing happened. Jiminy Kricket stumbled into my dojo drunk off his ass and looking for trouble. I kindly asked the little bastard to remove his shoes, but all he did was spit and call my mother a "cock soaking whore with hair on her titties." Although I am versed in various areas of offensive combat, I was not willing to engage the insect until it became vitally necessary. Thats when the fuckin ballshit round-housed me across the face. Jiminy may seem innocent and trustworthy at first, but when he's runnin on a tank full of Vodka, Tequilla, and hate crimes, you can expect murder to be first on his to-do list. The whole time he was screaming about how he wrecked his Harley and claimed I was the "Greasy pig-rubbing felcher" who did it. And for those of you who don't know, or don't care to know, (Children close your eye's here) felching is the process of cumming in a guys ass-hole and then sucking it out. So I was kind of agitated at this remark.
It was at this time I was forced to make a choice. Kill a beloved icon of child-hood innocence and crush the dreams of every Disney-fan in the world? Or allow this mangey miscreant, who was now pissing all over my weapon rack, and still hasn't removed his shoes, to keep insulting my honor and staining my dojo floor.

Stay tuned for more when I have time to get around to finishing it...
 
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Christ, I feel emo   
11:24am 25/06/2005
 
mood: melancholy
music: Queen - somebody to love (been listening to my Queen CD)
Every time I'm alone it begins again. I always feel like I'm whining when I write about this shit, but I havn't even written anything about my feelings in the past couple weeks... so I'm far from a cry baby. If anything I need to whine and cry more. On second thought, I bitch. I digress.
A few weeks ago Melissa talked to one of my friends crying and saying she still loves me, misses me, regrets everything, and really wants to talk to me. I told my friend I'd think about it, and eventually I came to the conclusion that I am still not ready to talk. Unfortunately my friend never told her, or anyone else for that matter, so I decided to take it upon myself to contact her out of courtesy. Don't ask me why I even fucking bother... the e-mail was blunt and unemotional, stating my friend's defficiancy at communicating, that I am not ready to talk, and that she may contact me if she really wants to but I shouldn't be expected to give much input, I'm mainly willing to listen. Well I heard from a friend her reaction to the e-mail, and apparently one week after crying and missing me she changes her mind and says she is also not ready to talk. Yet if I hadn't talked to my friend, I wouldn't know she fucking meant that, because the e-mail she sent me was absolute cockishness. No subject, a big blank paragraph, then -that is all- Melissa. Also she told my friend she wants back all the shit that she bought me that she liked. I'm talking birthday gifts, christmas presents, anything she would want to buy for herself. Fucking Indian giver.
What an unbelievable bitch. Does she think this is some kind of game? That she can just toy with people's emotions and lie and do whatever the fuck she wants at everyone's expense?
And now I'm alone. I've been at my house the past couple days, bored to tears. Everytime this happens, my mind bombards me with her. I don't want to dream anymore. I just want pure black for eight hours at a time. I want new love. I want to stop missing her and caring. I want a strawberry cheescake from Cheescake Factory. Please Santa, just fucking shoot me in the face already, I know you're hiding a glock under your beard.
 
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Read this and blood will explode from your eyes   
12:25am 25/06/2005
 
mood: Crescent Fresh & now tired
music: Queen - Bicycle
This was written in reply to a post from my good friend Belinda, hi Belinda! It's not really directed toward her, it mainly defends my opinion and outlines how I feel about bureaucrat's blowing snot rockets onto the first amendment. The reason I'm adding it as a journal entry... it wouldn't fit as a post (insert laughter). Read the last entry first or I will kill your children (no laughter here). If you have no children, I will artificially inseminate you in your sleep, I don't care if you're male or female, and then I'll show up 9 months later, congratulate you on your new baby, then eat it's face off. MWHAHAHAHAH!!!

Her Post:
"Honestly, I think that we already strech the 1st admendment to far as it is. You do have the right to watch listen and speak what you wish. Thats why we have retards on tv saying whatever they want b/c of our 1st admendment. We already say bitch on tv what more do you want? People with class do not want to hear filth on tv or in the newspaper. They already see it enough in movies and in real life. There is no reason to fight the 1st admendment when we have more important things to deal with in our country. Im sorry but if anyone honestly thinks that censorship is a huge problem obviously has no idea what the hell is going on in our country. Im not mad at you Chris Im just stating my opinion on the situtation. Im sorry if it offended but I dont think that the 1st admendent needs to be loosend. Honestly it should be tighten so people wont get on tv or in the newspaper and make a mockery of what our founding fathers stood for. So Im glad that we both agree that something just shouldnt be messed with anymore. =) Kudos to you Chris!!"

That whole journal entry was pure sarcasm and crudity, it seems that you kinda got the wrong idea about what I was saying, so I'm going into a long-winded speil about my opinion. Don't take it personally, it is for anyone to read or jab at, I enjoy defending things I'm opinionated about. I invite anyone to come and post a reply about your opinion on this. If you don't get a reply, then it's probably because I don't like you and could give two shits and a fuck less what you think. That, or I havn't gotten around to it yet. Here is an e-mail I sent out to family and friends, followed by a totally awesome article that will rock you:

"If you want to take just a few seconds out of your time to check out www.stopfcc.com, apparently the FCC will soon be adding stiffer regulations to already regulated areas of the media. I don't know about you, but I find the U.S. Constitution to be one of those things in our nation you would call "fundamental." It seems to me that with passwords, channel/station blocking, content advisory listings, and censorship of all kinds, parents and those of us not keen on 24/7 bloodshed and sex, have enough tools to prove our capabilites as adults to make simple decisions on what we'd like to see or hear in the media. The whole idea of freedom of speech, is that you get to say whatever you want, but you don't have to listen. So why should the media be any different? If you agree at all with any of this, check out the websight.

Chris-"


I completely agree that Movies and television tend to go overboard and that if I had children I would certainly not want them watching half of what is in the media. Even I myself find much of television borish and ridiculously unsatisfying, but not because of violence, coarse language, sex or what not (though the excess of such things is getting to the point that a whiplash of the nation into the dark ages of such beliefs as "sex is evil" appears to be closing in). It's the unending parade of morons on reality TV, Talk shows, Game shows, newscasts etc... that make my skin crawl. I believe that adding more regulations to our media won't change anything; idiots will still be paid filthy amounts of cash to groan and drool on national television, proving their ever increasing need of extermination, half-assed negligent parents will still take their diaper clad infants into rated R movies, little Tommy is still going to sneak out at night, smoke crack, and shlob off to his dad's porno stash, 85% of the internet is still going to consist of everyone and everything having anal sex with everything and everyone else... All it's going to do is make it harder for Joe Blow to enjoy unceasing sexually violent entertainment, causing him to systematically murder each and every one of his co-workers with armor-piercing incendiary rounds from his fully automatic assault rifle which he purchased off of eBay in frustrated rage at his now flaccid and impotent member. Well maybe it won't go that far... but it's not going to change the fact that American's, having been brought into a life filled with opportunity and ego-stroking freedoms, will continue to abuse those freedoms no matter what, because they can. And you know that shit is true.

As for censorship being a big problem, as with anything in life it depends on the situation. Censoring crude images or meanings on public television and radio that is easily accessible to young children and impressionable dumb-asses is a great idea. But over-board censorship is bullshit. That is why we have the ability to purchase what channels we want and block what channels we want. So why are we only looking at television? Consider for a moment that television is a media used to entertain, teach, and excite... much like books, and I doubt that most people would agree with blotting out every other word in a book because it is crude and publically available. In fact I know they wouldn't, because it's been tried before. There is a reason television channels are labeled "Spice TV" or "Cartoon Network," there is a reason that content advisory settings are flashed at the beginning of every television program and after every commercial, there is a reason why every single program, commercial or otherwise, is processed through several weeks of painstaking Government examination. So that people with class, or say...parents who should be paying attention to their children...can flip the channel, block the station, or turn off the mother fucking TV, get off their fat asses and throw a damn frizbee.

If you look at say, Europe, they're television is filled with crudity, sex, and violence. They air practically anything they want, with very few regulations, and are a "tad" bit less violent than us Americans. And the reason why America's crime rate is, (forgive me I havn't checked the latest blood bath percentage) far higher than any other nation in the world, is because people in other nations, such as those in Europe, watch significantly less television than American's, and subsequently are healthier, weigh less overall, and socialize more. So maybe the problem isn't censorship at all, maybe it's that American's are fuckin lazy-asses who do whatever the hell they want. Go America!?

Do I even need to mention that the state of our Nation has been in unrest since the day it began? That we will ALWAYS have wars, people dieing, crimes against man & crimes against nature. America is far from a utotopian society, this is not about the shit-hole our nation is spiraling down into, this is about upholding the beliefs of democracy. The main belief that's being focused on here is freedom, and whether by word, image, sound, or electronic display... it's all the same shit.. So let's just try and start from the beginning and keep in line certain things that shouldn't be fucked with, like freedom of speech. STOP FUCKING WITH FREEDOM OF SPEECH YOU VEHEMENT SQUIRREL FUCKERS!

All of this boils down to one thing, honesty and respect. Our nation has taken an oath to uphold the U.S. Constitution and respect the decisions our four-fathers exacted upon ages ago. The 1st Amendment HAS to be superfluously changed after a time, because the world changes, and Politicians take things far too literally to be trusted in regards to the Constitution. Industry invents new ways to excersize one's opinion that our founding fathers could never have thought of in their wildest dreams. Yet the idea's of our Nation's ancestors remain to this day clearly outlined in thousands of pages of ideals. The people of this country have the right to liberty as long as it does not conflict with the general welfare or defense of the nation. For those of you who have begun salivating at the repeated usage of the word "fuck," I will most likely have to explain the meaning of liberty as is used by these men. The exact definition, as defined by websters, is, "1 : the quality or state of being free: a : the power to do as one pleases b : freedom from physical restraint c : freedom from arbitrary or despotic control d : the positive enjoyment of various social, political, or economic rights and privileges e : the power of choice." And although I feel a trifle disappointed disagreeing with the opinion that idiots making fools of themselves is degrading to the welfare or defense of the nation, I must insist that it is not. Degrading to our IQ's maybe... but that is another matter that America has a problem with which requires a different, educational approach. They unfortunately have the right to brandish their mind-bludgeoning opinions so that the rest of us may have something meaningful to say. *Sigh*.... just because someone is stupid, doesn't mean you can treat them unequally. I wish you could though, I hate stupid people. Maybe some day they'll drive me insane enough that I'll turn into Joe Blow and go a-murderizing. I can only hope... sending all the people of the world except for me on a rocket-ship into the sun, what paradise... Hmm... maybe I could leave a couple behind... I have to have SOMEONE to feed me grapes while I dominate the world with my crescent freshness. No wait! I can train MONKEYS!!! I'll dress them up like little butlers and have them dance for my amusement! Monkeys fuckin kick ass. Ooo, another idea, perfect in fact... I WILL keep a few humans, so that I can teach my monkeys to kick ass. Human ass. It'll be like gladiators, but with ass-kicking monkeys instead of lions. And then at the end of the battle, the monkey's will feast upon the brains of the ass-kicked humans to get back at them for that fucking scene from Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom. I'm tired.

End.

Thx for giving the post Belinda, your opinion rocks! I fully enjoyed the opportunity to rant about something. I wasn't offended at all either, so don't worry about it. I just love writing, so feel free to debate, poke fun at, or tear apart anything that I say : ) Positive remarks are nice too.
Fuck. (one for the road)
 
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Sign this or violently murder your freedom   
09:17pm 23/06/2005
 
mood: Cynically pissed off
music: Twisted Sister - WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT!!!
Go to www.stopfcc.com right now and vote if you feel that the U.S. Constitution was maybe on to something a smidgen interesting when it stated that all American's have the right to free speech.
I dunno, I just think myself that it would be kinda cool to be able to say... speak, watch, listen to, and read whatever the fuck I want without Uncle Sam shitting censorship all over it. All this petition needs is 1 million votes to help loosen the puckeringly tight ass-hole of the FCC. Which I guess is cool since like our country was founded on these strange foreign rituals called "ideals," and the U.S. Constitution, if I remember correctly from the vague 2 or 3 days of History class I spent awake, had some of these idealy thingies that a bunch of people who were shat out of our ancestors wombs decades ago came up with and thought should be the FUNDAMENTAL FUCKING FUNCTION OF EVERYTHING THAT OUR GOVERNMENT STANDS FOR.
So unless you're all for burning the Constitution and laying a big fat loaf on the ashes of our founding father's blood, sweat, and tears, I strongly urge you go give it a look see.
 
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Are you keen on regurgitation?   
06:52pm 18/06/2005
 
mood: amused

Your Deadly Sins



Pride: 60%

Wrath: 40%

Envy: 20%

Greed: 0%

Lust: 20%

Sloth: 20%

Gluttony: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 23%

You will become famous - and subsequently killed by a stalker.



Sweet! I'm going to become famous!
Finally I will have my very own fleet of 747's filled to the brim with Snausages!! Then when I die, me and Satan can finally catch up. Boy oh boy, it's been years since Luce and I had a good maiming. Why, I remember the last time as if it were yesterday...

Warning, skip straight to the ending if you're an impatient bastard

Me, Satan, and a couple Reaver Demons were bowling down at the Main St. Lanes. Gabriel was there, and he was totally pissed about something, he's such a tight-ass. He really needs to loosen up. Jesus was gettin along with everyone as usual, gotta love Jesus. OH now I remember what Gabriel was pissed about, Bartlby spiked the punch and put Ecstasy in the maccoroni salad. Everyone was havin a good time, and Gabriel was all whinin to God and shit, and God was playin pinball so he totally ignored him. God's kind of anti-social, he sticks to the game room most of the time. Anyway, Gabriel was in danger of pissin all over our good time, so I decided I'd try to lighten things up for him. With a slap on the back I handed him a beer, and asked him to step outside with me. It kinda hurt slappin him on the back, since he's always decked out in full angelic armor thats all gold and silver and adorned with a super fucking bright chest plate that sings hallelujah, grants the ability to see invisible, +10AC bonus, and makes the best cappachino I've ever had. As for me, I wore my usual black trenchcoat with full all-black cowboy garb.
"Angel's cannot drink of the tainted brew," is what elegantly flopped out of his pompous ass when I handed him the beer.
"Come on Gabriel, lets just have a good fuckin time, even Jesus's gotten into the Wine. I'll tell you what, how about we cruise the alley-ways and see if we can find us a couple of sinners to lay waste to?"
"Well... I suppose..."
"SWEET!" with that, I used my awesome matrix powers to fly us over to a pimp that was beatin on his ho.
"Here we are, a woman-beater who is profiting off of the sexual subjugations of his whore, and the whore, a skanky crack-smoking hussy who defiles herself for adulterous men and horses. Oh yeah, and the pimp has sex with little boys too."
"I DO NOT!"
"Shutup you." Fuck-tard shutup too.
Standing attentive in the back, a fire began to rise within Gabriel's eyes, obviously he hadn't had a good reaping in a while. He drew a massive golden incandescent broad sword, raised it high above his head, and in one fluid blink of an eye, brought it down upon the two. *CLING* Instantly it was met with a curved jagged blade that seemed to drain all light within it's radius. It was the sword of Satan. For this occassion, Beelzebub decided to go with the traditional red scaley skin, massive bull horns, bifurcated tail, and souless-black/blood-red spike covered fullplated armor. Damnit he always looks so cool...
"Stan," I said to Satan, "What's the deal dude? Surely you would enjoy the sport of flaying mortals?"
I was met with the Dark Lord's commanding grainy deep tones, and a sinister stare that seemed to decay the very soul.
"It is not that great Christopher, it is not their time. Even I must follow the rules at times." The look on his face meant business. I began to wonder if perhaps he was playing a trick on us, I mean he is the fucking Father of Lies after all. Plus, you really don't want to fuck around with Luce, he can be great at parties, but when he means business, I'd be the last one to cross his path. Gabriel hadn't moved a muscle the entire time, and the fire that glowed within his eye's earlier now blazed like a bonfire. What the hell is going on here? As I pondered, I noticed Satan's hand began quavering, and his lips were pulling tighter and tighter. Was he about to combat Gabriel? Now that would be a fight worth seeing!
"BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!! GOTCHA!" He bellowed, the sound was enough to make a normal man's ears bleed.
"You should have seen the expression of your faces, foolish peons! I care not the death of these sinners, more souls to feed the eternal hellfires." And with that, he lopped off their heads. I wasn't even paying attention to the mortals, but apparently they had shit themselves in fear, so I decided we probably should get going. The normal human stench is bad enough without having to suffer this crap.

So that was my last maiming... oh yeah I can fastfoward the story a bit and it gets even more interesting.

So we're at the afterhours party, and it's down to just God (now playing DDR), Gabriel (apparently he never sleeps), Satan (Drunk and high off his ass), and me (totally fricken awesome). Satan had suggested we play truth or dare earlier, so, much to the chagrin of Gabriel, we decided 'what the hell.' Satan had already made me and Gabriel kiss each other like 10 times, so it was gettin kinda lame. He thought it was hilarious though... bastard. Anyway, it got back to me again and lo and behold, God walked into the room. Immediately there was silence. We all just sat there and stared.
"Hey dudes, hows it hangin? I just got AAA+++ on DDR 4000 times in a row, broke my own record!"
Silence.
"God damnit, why does everyone always get all silent when I speak?!"
More Silence.
"Uh, buh, duhhh... hi... GOD." I blurted out.
"Ah yes, Christopher. How are things? Are you liking that enormous "present" that I gifted you with?" wink wink.
"Derrr....uhmm........I LIKE TRAINS!" What can I say, it's very imposing to be in God's presence.
So I decided to pull out my double-bladed black lightsabre and kill everyone in the room. And that's how I became the ruler of both Heaven and Hell.

The End.

So this is what happens when I write non-stop for an hour without any nominal constraint or consistent organization... Wow I'm violent.
COOL!
 
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