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You are viewing 12 entries, 25 into the past.

1st June 2003

8:31pm: Annoyance
Well today has been a very uneventful day as have the last past days. Except that my dad tried to clean out my car. That part is the part I decided to stay clear of. Afterwards he hunted me down and was pissed off because according to him someone puked inmy car which I think is so totally false, but whatever. I know that that really didn't happen but I have no idea what could have happened. Who knows someone could have puked in it, but I don't pay attention to things that much too actually make an informed decision.

Other things on the agenda pertain to the strange weather we have been having here lately. Mostly it has been raining the past few nights, but it is a bit better than what happens the rest of the time when it has been extremely hot. But I guess that is what I get for living in West Texas.
Hopefully I won't have to deal with the heat when I move out though I sincerly doubt that is going to happen in the next few days.I want to really leave in the next week or so , but I know my parents won't let me because I have a job, so I really don't know what to do. I am not old enough to get a job anywhere else because I am seventeen and turn eighteen in August, but I guess that will have to wait till later on.

Also there is this guy I meet online though I know that something online rarely turns into something really serious I have to admit that I am having fun with it. Thought the fact that it does not include any touching or seeing of the other person really peturbs me. And I hate not being able to be affectionate or sexual with another person. It just gets on my nerves. I mean I can only type the word *cuddles* in some many times till I really want to do it. Plus I can't tell all my chick friends about how I have a guy in my life and they don't. Anyways, I guess that is sorta my cause for concern. Hmm... I think I might drop by Rachel's house later on or see what is going on at the Art Room later on tomorrow or go out jogging early in the morning before the sun gets out and makes things really really hot. I mean what is the use of having this mp3 player if I am not going to go out and actually work out with it. I mean it isn't going to skip and besides it'll keep me going for a while I think I am getting desperate enough to actually go back to tae kwon do, but I think I will wait a while before that happens before I go back to the annoying teacher. I wish my two old masters were here but they left.

Until next, time... or when my comp decides not be an ass and actually let me on Blurty..
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Macy Gray -- Sexual Revolution

29th May 2003

12:56am: Job Search...
Freak!!! can't find a job but since my parents really actually want me out of the house they have agreed to pay for my apartment for some of the time. Though I really don't want that to happen because I want to work for my own stuff not have them give me the money. But whatever happens happens I hate it when life gives out something complicated.

Hmm... well I just noticed that I haven't really touched on any serious subjects and through further inspection of my life has brought me to the conclusion that it might not ever happen. And while AI have the capacity to do most things like analyze and describe the ways the world can best fuck up your life, but at the moment or at least the this immediate time in my life I really don't care about it so I guess you just have to wait a couple years till I mature.
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Pass the Courvoisier Busta Rhymes

27th May 2003

12:37am: Weird.... 0.-....
I feel very strange... though I think it is just because I am awake at an ungodly time of night but that is alright.... I'm usually still asleep.... Shu... but that is alright... jellyfishiess......
Current Mood: contemplative

26th May 2003

11:11pm: THe day HaS YeTTT Tooo EnddDDDDd
Strangely enougH I have not done anything even that mildly fun... Just mostly sat and painted a really calming experience... Though not one to be over done, that and I tried out my oil paints and got trippy off the turpentine... How funny... Almost finished my acrylics painting but not there yet I will win that cash prize. Sadly enough I went insane halfway through the way started trashing my room and screaming strange things and in strange sounds... but that is okay... or is it -0....

Current Mood: crazy
Current Music: Lady Marmalade Pink Mya Christina Eve and Co

25th May 2003

10:54pm: Fag hags.... They must die.....
Well hanging out with Savanna and fag hag in company was just as bad as I thought it would be not to mention it is raining cats and dogs outside. Shu... but what can I do, I nned all the good karma I can get cause I have been an uber bitch resently and yeah so my spiritual bitch slap has begun.

So I guess things will constantly get worse till I build up an uber amount of good karma... Damn this world where all things get constantly caught up in this annoying world of dualities where one must balance the constant struggle between good and evil in this world. okay enough of that I got on my own nerves...

Till next time good bye!!!
Current Mood: bitchy
Current Music: No Doubt Come On Eileen
7:14pm: :P
bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored

I even don't have the energy to bitch a people today. CHIPPERMOoNKiESSsSS!!!


Well anyway I have the bad fortune of having to if having to talk to Savanna while I am typing this really don't want to do through spending another boring movie night with her. So I better get to typing my thoughts all out or I guess I'll just update this later on. Besides that I have no idea what I am really going to do now at this moment.

Another thing about today is my parents uberly pissed me off. So I took a hour car trip to the next town to cool off. I don't do well with my temper and usually I blow up and like punch a wall. Which I could so do yesterday. Me and Rachel went to Odessa yesterday and flirted with the usually Sunglass Hut guy. I asked him out and he said no!!!! WAA!!!!!!!!!! !!!!^0^!!!! And even that emoticon looks happy it isn't. It is sad... Even worse was that he was straight... And I was dressed decent that day... Shu... it was a dark day for my American Eagle Bangkok shirt and my low rise tight fit AE staind jeans as well. I even had flowers for him too.... I got mad and threw them to the floor and stomped on them. Four Brownie points for me. None for him.

Well I'll update afterwards to tell my time with my maybe ex best friend should I or shouldn't I not dissolve or relationship with her or not... Shu... well go to go.
Current Mood: dissapointed, slightly urked..
Current Music: No Doubt BAthwatEr
6:59pm: Apathetic use of quoutes....
Shu.... That is all I have to say since I think the whole world is going to hell and even though things may be going well for a while I just have this to say.... THE CHIPMUNKS ARE ALWAYS OUT TO GET YOU!!!!! After saying that I leave on this famous qoute as said by one of the most famous stars in the universe.... "YOU SPEAK OF CRAZINESSSS!!!!!!" --->Invader ZiM....
Current Mood: apathetic

24th May 2003

10:44am: Day one real life
woke up today at seven or eight am... I graduated... it was a hell for the ceremony though, didn't like it at all
Though Ithink that it isn't fair that we had to wear like uber fromal clothes Just didn't like it,

In any case I raked in a new laptop, mp3 player, american eagle outfitters shopping spree, and a couple of hundreds. I love my life, well I still a bit more cynical towards humanity but i feel less so. Meaning Iwill trip the old lady into traffic not push her in. Well I feel to tired to actually say anything else so I leave you with this quote.

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: COUrage THE cOWarDLY dOg tHEme

22nd May 2003

9:07pm: Back To The MALL!!!!
Okie Dokies!!! Well today I went back to Midland this time to actually look for a job. Hot Topic, Barnes and Noble, some other bookstores and maybe Starbucks, though I don't think it was open, but whatever!!!

Went with my other best gal friend Rachel, had some laughs hit on some guys read books and left them on the table nothing serious to do. It was fun though we hated looking for a job. Nygh..... But after that we went to the mall again... Cute guy at the Sunglass Hut was so totally gay but so much older than me. And besides I really can't have a bf until I move out and have some money to go out and do stuff. I hate people paying for unless they owe me something. Like time from my life, cause I could be at home instead of listening to other people's troubles. But I am a caring considering person.... MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh here are like a number of quotes that me and my friends made up I'll try to update them ya know.

"Remeber God loves you, the rest of us are still trying."

"I may talk slowly but I stab quickly."

"If you see me smiling run swiftly and remember to duck"

"Sex is nature's way of shaking hands"

"If a black cat walks across your path it isn't bad luck, It's a chance to practice your punt kicks."

"Set a man a fire he is warm for night. Set a man on fire he is warm for life."

"I may be psycho, but at least I can hold a good conversation with the people in my head."

That is all for now! One more day till I graduate!!!!!
Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: That Boy is Mine, Brandy and Monica

21st May 2003

10:57pm: Well today I had fun went to Midland, a city that has the biggest mall in a fifty mile area and shopped for graduation stuff with one of my newest friends Susan. After shopping our hearts out and checking out and hitting on cute guys we went to a coffee shop and got two cold italian sodas. Yummie!! Mine was cherry and hers was strawberry, yup yup she got to eat my cherry too... Hee hee ^.^! Well after that we took off to Wally MART!!! And got some nail accesories besides that it has been a really good day!

On a another note I have just realized that my thoughts just seem to stream together and aren't really separated and ordered. So I decided to actually use paragraphs to make my train of thought a bit more readable. Anyway I guess I should finish my families life story. Yippee... -.-
Too finish up we are nearly up to now. After that Summer o'Love, as I like to call it, school was totally diffrent. For one I actually noticed when chicks or guys hit on me. Though I had to pay attention to my scores in school rather than find my next fuck buddy. So it went all well and dandy until I met my sorta first real boyfriend, I consider him a my first bf cause I didn't go out with him just for sex.
Chance Green someting or the other was his name and even though I thought things were going fine he dumped me the lil' brat, saying that we didn't click. Though it really was because he didn't get sex on the first date. After that I didn't date anybody else. I guess I grew a bit bitter and still am a lil' bit. But I guess things like that just happen. So after that I just sorta drifted until now, when I find the place where I can bitch, whine, and scream out how unjust the world is!!!

Though I have to say there are some things which I do not like and will not talk about on in this journal or else may just bitch more about than other things if they piss me off enough:
1 country music, it must die a slow painful death as demon muffins stab it with plastic sporks in hell.
2 the political turmoil in this country, I will bitch more then not talk about it, probably cause it gets me really annoyed on how our country is so.... Never mind I'll talk about it later
3 anti-gay groups, you all piss me off, and I hate the way you think, not you the person just you thoughts and actions to other human beings, screw you for hating people who are diffrent from you.
4 most religions, Even though i think this may make some people mad I really don't like christianity in general, not cause I'm gay, just cause of the hundreds of years of blood spilt in the name of the religion, and most religions that cause other people to be persecuted and oppressed. If anybody wants to know I am a nice neutral agnostic. i question the existence and the non-existence in a higher being.
5 sterotyping, I hate it and have been sterotyped before, thus I will try to keep an open mind about most things, but I can only go so far
so those are typically all the things I can say right now till next time I'll actually talk about present day things till next time!!!!
Current Mood: cheerful

20th May 2003

5:56pm: MO CHI!!!!!! GRADUATION!!! ^.^!!!!
A couple more days till I actually graduate how shibby. Well I think I should get finished talking about my family. Let's see where to start at??? I guess I should start from the beginning...
I was born August 11, 1985 and afterwards we lived in a really really small town. I mean my elementary was barely over ninty kids for grades kindergarten to sixth. After it was closed and turned into a boot camp I had to go to another school in another town. Things for my family were tough so my mom left my dad because he was a major alcoholic and abusive... Threw me on a stove. But he got better but not before making my mom take my away to Mexico and then a few years later after she had my lil' brother and sister my dad got worse again and we moved all the way to Los Angeles where I stayed for a year or two and missed a lot of school. Though I was already ahead of most of the kids and if I stayed in school I would have graduated while I was fifteen. After that my dad went straight cold turkey and gave up drinking and now only smokes like a stove. A good trade off I guess. After moving back to the dinky lil town I attended Jr. High at same level as everyone else and even though I missed out on a lot I managed to catch up and besides most of the stuff I already knew. During the end of my sixth year and the beginning of my seventh year I moved to Andrews. A slightly bigger dinky town. As a new student there I was lonely and ridiculed mostly because I played the flute. Which wasn't frowned upon where I went to school before but here it was a bad thing. So I mostly kept to myself and had only two or three close friends at the most. Though even thru all that I was usually the best until highschool gave better distractions. In my eleventh year I managed to acquire one of truest friends and funnest sparring partner Amber. The summer before and after was when I learned I was really gay or bisexual either way I am still not to clear on that. Anyways thanks to the internet I managed to find people who accepted me for what I was and made friends where like me.
So after a summer of naughtiness with both guys and girls, yeah I lost my virginty to a guy. I came back to school and was a bit diffrent. A bit more jaded one could say but it works. So I guess that was a lot to say so I'll be back tomorrow and update as planned until then WUVES EVERYBODY!!!!!
Current Mood: cheerful

19th May 2003

6:00pm: First Time
wow so I guess this is my first time. I feel like such a doof but I guess it is okay since everybody probably has to go through this begining phase. Sorry ahead of time for the bad spelling and for any times I have a bitchy PMS(Pissy Male Syndrome) period. So let's get to the good stuff.

Today was the second to the last day I have to go to school, tomorrow will be the last day and luckily I have only one final to take then I'm free for the rest of the summer. Well not exactly, it seems I have to find an apartment and a job to pay for it because, my mom, decided that it would be good for me to learn responsibility and move out. Yipee..... Though I don't mind because at least I get to move out of my house which consists of two older sisters, two younger sisters, a pissy lil' brother, two nephews, and a niece. My dad is a truck driver and since he really doesn't come home often enough to be considered living here. SHuuuu..... I'm tired... My family is complicated and needs to be explained a full days sleep or at least on a couple hours nap. Till next time. Stevie Joe.
Current Mood: calm
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