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Monday, March 14th, 2005
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11:18 pm - Hmmm
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You know how at the LURPS hustings I said that it was highly unlikely that I was going to get into St. Martin's this time around?
Well, I got a letter from St. Martin's this afternoon, asking me to come for an interview on the 27th of April.
Wow. Both my short-term and long-term plans have been altered by this.
Short Term:
I'm going to have to do two weeks observation in a secondary school classroom. I'm going to write around to Lancaster schools, as well as my old school, Darwen Moorland High School.
This will mean cancelling two weeks worth of work sometime in April. So there's a financial blow there as well. I'll have to try and schedule it for the fortnight when I'm working least.
And arrange something with the job centre, for the day when I have to sign on.
Also in the short term, the Writers' Guild production (in which I'm acting in a play and performing a monologue) is roughly a week after the interview, and I know which of the two events I'm going to be rehearsing for the most...
I can handle the play, easily. I only have about three lines in it. The monologue, though, I was having a rehearsal with Dean this afternoon when I realised how difficult it'd be to polish up both this and the interview. I think it's pretty likely that the monologue will have to be read out on the night (albeit theatrically). I certainly won't drop it entirely, because it's a good piece and deserves to be performed.
Long Term (assuming I pass the interview and get onto the course):
Mish raised the issue of me doing a PGCE when I stood for election last year, and Doug re-raised the issue this year. I'm still confident that I can both study for a PGCE and fulfil my mandated promises as LURPS Tabletop Rep, but I think some people will be less confident in that.
I won the election by a good margin, and I think I owe it to the society to do my best in the role. The position also means too much for me to give it up just in case the PGCE detracts from my ability to do the job.
If I get onto the course, I might not have the time to GM, or maybe even to game at all, but I'm not going to let the society down. I'll jump if it harms the society, but I'm staying in my seat until then.
(N.B. I'm going to post on Blurty from time to time, provided it's going at a decent pace when I try.)
current mood:  contemplative
current music: Ennio Morricone - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, February 12th, 2005
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12:55 pm - Sod it. I'm off.
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For the past week, I've been able to access Blurty approximately... twice.
I've just not been able to get into it from home. This morning, there was a brief ten minute period where Blurty was working for me, and I had an entire page of unread posts from my Friends list.
So yeah, I've had enough.
I'm leaving.
LiveJournal is almost exactly the same as Blurty, except faster, more reliable, and they update the code every now and then to add in new tweaks that make it an easier and more enjoyable blog system to use. Blurty, meanwhile, is the same as it was when I started with it a few years ago.
I'll still be doing parallel posts with Blogspot, and I'm going to try and carry across as many Blurty entries (plus comments) as possible - by backdating posts. That'll have to be an ongoing thing and it will take a while...
http://www.livejournal.com/users/archangelonline/
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| Sunday, February 6th, 2005
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9:37 pm - Godlike - The Dying Days
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Glossary:
Abwehr – The intelligence wing of the German armed forces, led by Admiral Wilhelm Canaris, a naval veteran of the Great War, and hero of the Battle of the Falkland Isles. He was the captain of the Dresden, the only ship to escape the British fleet. Their emphasis on working to military and practical objectives frequently places them at odds with the Gestapo’s pursuance of ideological and political objectives in occupied territories, where their jurisdictions overlapped.
Brandenburg Division – Technically, this could be described as Canaris’s private army. The Brandenburgers were an elite commando unit under the Abwehr’s command. By June 1944, the SS had established its own reputation for commando missions (largely thanks to daredevils like Otto Skorzeny and the SS’s near-monopoly on Ubermenschen), and the Brandenburgers had been largely reduced to acting as an elite infantry unit. Nevertheless, Canaris kept hold of his pet soldiers for operations where the SS’s fanaticism would be damaging to their effectiveness.
Gestapo - Short for Geheimstaatspolizei, or ‘secret state police’, the Gestapo are run by Heinrich Himmler, leader of the SS.
Heer - the German regular army, from which the Abwehr primarily recruits.
Maquis - the French Resistance, who use guerrilla tactics to fight the German occupation of France and terrorist tactics to punish collaboration by French nationals.
SS - The Schutzstaffel, or ‘bodyguards’, were originally set up to provide personal protection for Adolf Hitler after the original SA storm troopers were purged and disbanded. Under Heinrich Himmler’s leadership, they have become one of the most powerful organisations in the Reich, running the concentration camps and the German police. The Waffen-SS is the military wing of the organisation, made up of the elite of the German military (including the Ubermenschen).
Talent - A parahuman ability, or (in Allied parlance) the possessor of such an ability. Talents are effectively a form of mental illness, manifesting during periods of extreme stress (such as combat or near-deadly accidents), or when a person’s self-belief is so great that they can warp reality around them. The latter is a common cause for the manifestation of abilities among ‘superhuman’ Nazis, although the official Nazi doctrine states that such manifestation is the natural result of Aryan racial purity. Adolf Hitler refuses to believe that non-German Talents exist, although most branches of the German and Nazi hierarchy beneath him have become practiced in avoiding mentioning them in official reports. The German war effort suffers because of this habit of skirting around the truth when planning strategy. Importantly, a Talent can always spot another Talent power in action, even otherwise stealthy ones like invisibility or shape-shifting.
Ubermensch - Literally ‘over-man’, plural Ubermenschen. The German word to describe men who display parahuman abilities. Nazi doctrine holds that such people are the offspring of two 100% pure Aryans, and that no parahumans exist outside of the Third Reich. Uberfrauen also exist, but in very small numbers (officially – in reality, there have been several thousand, most of them non-German victims of Nazi atrocities, their powers manifesting as a mental defence mechanism.).
The Brandenburg Division, Paris Unit
(Note: Each PC was generated with 50 Will points and was given the free skill points available to SS members, rather than the less appropriate TOG skills that would normally be given to a commando team.)
Hauptmann Cobhan Lebrous (a.k.a. ‘Fool’s Mate’) - played by Naomi.
Hauptmann (Captain) Lebrous is an exceptional Hyperbrain and Hypercommander with the ability to psychically and invisibly leave his body in a form of astral projection. Physically weak, yet mentally very agile, and habitually plays chess against several opponents at a time, beating them all within a few turns.
Leutnant Wolfgang Ritter (a.k.a. ‘The Flying Bullet’ or ‘Bullet’) - played by Cath.
Leutnant (Lieutenant) Ritter is Lebrous’s number two, a flier with Hypercoordination and a frightening ability to put a rifle bullet through any part of an enemy’s anatomy. Ritter is much more a fighter than the hauptmann and leads the squad from the front in combat situations.
Ritter intends to survive the war and return home to marry his fiancé Elise. He is a big fan of Konrad Rahn, the ‘Aviator’ and first of the modern wave of Ubermenschen.
Cath played Tancred the pilgrim in my Cthulhu Dark Ages campaign.
Oberschutze Albrecht Hesse (a.k.a. ‘Sturmdrang’) - played by Regis.
Oberschutze (Private 1st Class) Hesse is a devoted national socialist and German patriot. He is incredibly gung ho and is convinced that Germany is destined to win the war. With the ability to dodge and shoot simultaneously, his favoured weapon is the MP40 submachine gun. He is also immune to bullets… but only when waving the swastika flag and singing Deutschland, Deutschland Uber Alles. Needless to say, the latter ability is of little use on stealth operations.
Schutze Hans Braunwitz (a.k.a. ‘Jerry’ or ‘Tank’) - played by Owen.
Schutze (Private) Braunwitz is the oldest member of the squad at 64 years of age. He is a wizened Great War veteran and is very much of the belief that if the first war didn’t kill him, neither will this one. Particularly since he’s now immensely strong, with iron hard skin and the willpower to ignore wounds that would cripple a normal man. Braunwitz’s weapon of choice is the MG42-S, a variant of the MG42 machine gun fitted with a drum magazine, rather than a belt feed, designed to be fired one-handed by hyperstrong Ubermenschen.
Schutze Konrad Ottman (a.k.a. ‘Void’) - played by Ricky.
Ottman is probably one of the earliest Ubermenschen to manifest, perhaps even predating the famed ‘Aviator’. His power was undetected for a long time, simply because he was a ‘wild’ Zed, perpetually dampening the Talent abilities of anyone within 100 yards, and he didn’t encounter any other Ubermenschen for quite some time. Unfortunately, the side-effect was that everyone within the same distance also felt horrendously depressed. The shock of his mother’s suicide was such that it caused him to become aware of his part in her depression and enabled him to gain control of his Talent. Not particularly keen on fighting the enemy, or on heroism in general, Ottman’s only goal is to survive the war.
Ricky played the nearly-disembowelled cleric-turned-monk Matthias in my Cthulhu Dark Ages campaign.
Schutze Elsa Hauptman (a.k.a. ‘Spook’) - played by Erfalaswen.
Elsa Hauptmann is currently the only woman in the squad, and specialises in undercover work, particularly among the French Maquis Resistance. Her already considerable natural abilities in this field are backed up by her ability to fade into transparency, spot enemies within 200 yards, and to transform (T1000-style) into any other person she touches.
Erfalaswen played Brother Alfred the monk in my Cthulhu Dark Ages campaign.
Mission 1 – The Paris Safe House: Operation Baguette (I’m denying all responsibility for the mission codenames. The PCs decided after the third mission that they were going to name them all after types of food that were relevant to the plot. I joked that borscht or vodka might become relevant.)
It is June 1st, 1944. Admiral Canaris, in a rare personal briefing, informs them that an Abwehr courier was murdered in Paris a few days earlier and an important document was stolen. He adds that the Gestapo have been observing the Maquis cell responsible for some time, and expects them to launch a raid at any time.
He emphasises the importance of the Abwehr raiding the house first and recovering the document. In addition, the Resistance leader Patrick St. Pierre is believed to be in the building, along with his second-in-command, Jean-Philippe Gervon, known among the Resistance as ‘Le Protecteur’. Canaris implies that Gervon has ‘special talents’ that make him difficult to hunt down using regular troops. There is no intelligence, however, as to what Gervon’s Talent powers are meant to be (because, of course, they don’t exist – he’s a Frenchman). Canaris adds that there is more to gain by taking the Resistance members alive than by killing them.
After an initial planning session, the squad decide that it is probable that St. Pierre probably also has ‘special talents’, since a superhuman would probably be the leader of the cell, rather than a lieutenant.
Hauptman Lebrous has his squad reconnoitre the suspected safe house (a Boulangerie-Patisserie, a bakery that sells cakes) for the day, ready for a night-time assault. Jerry and Spook, as the least military looking members of the squad, and both able to speak French, walk in and buy a loaf of bread. Spook makes a point of touching the baker’s wife’s hand as she receives her change, so that she can later transform her appearance, should the necessity arise. She also espies a trapdoor leading down to the cellar, just behind the counter.
Meanwhile, Lebrous astrally projects himself into the buildings surrounding the bakery, searching for any secret access or escape routes, such as sewer entrances, shared loft spaces or tunnels, which would need covering during a raid. He takes care not to go too close to the bakery for fear that Gervon or St. Pierre might see his ghost form.
On the way out of the haberdashery opposite the safe house, Lebrous spots a pair of men hanging about on the street who don’t look particularly French. In fact, they look kind of German. And they’re wearing suspicious trenchcoats.
The decision is made to issue the squad with chloroform pads, to make stealth subduals and to prevent any Maquis using, ahem, ‘special talents’ to resist capture.
That night, the raid begins with The Flying Bullet flying up onto the kitchen extension roof. Close behind is Spook, who climbs up to join her. Sturmdrang and Void wait in the back alley, while Fool’s Mate and Jerry approach along the street. The plan is that Spook performs a final reconnoitre of the bakery before Bullet flies out of the house and relays her report before the assault begins.
This being Paris in the summer, and therefore fairly stuffy, many of the windows are open. Spook and Bullet sneak into the empty rear bedroom and Spook activates her Fade power. Merging with the cheap wallpaper, she sneaks out onto the landing. Light comes from under the doors of two of the three upstairs rooms. She creeps down to the darkened room and looks inside. There’s a young man, about seventeen years old, asleep in the furthest of a row of four beds. She checks his face from the photos produced during the briefing: it is neither Patrick St. Pierre or Jean-Phillippe Gervon. Propped against the wall beside his bed is a British Lee-Enfield rifle. Spook carefully removes the clip from the loaded rifle, freezing as it CLICKS loudly in the silent room. In the style of the motion pictures, the man in the bed turns over, mumbles in his sleep, and resumes lightly snoring. Spook pockets the clip and leaves the room.
She presses an ear against one of the illuminated doors and listens to the conversation within. Two Frenchmen are talking about an OSS cryptographer who will be parachuting in tomorrow night to decode the letter stolen from the murdered courier. She decides she needs to ID the speakers and risks opening the door a crack to peer inside. Patrick St. Pierre and the baker are indicating several maps on a table. The cell leader looks up at the ajar door and begins walking towards it. She backs off and presses herself against the wall.
St. Pierre looks out onto the gloomy corridor, squints for a moment, and sees the distorted space occupied by Spook. He bellows something in French and throws himself back into the room. Spook panics and flees into the rear bedroom, convinced that St. Pierre has ‘special talents’. How else could he have seen through her camouflage?
Just to help with orientation, the door to the rear bedroom faces the main landing and the stairs down to the bakery’s back room. On this landing is the other illuminated room. Leading off from this landing are the two rooms investigated by Spook, on opposite sides of the corridor, with St. Pierre in the room next door to the one containing Spook and Bullet.
The door to the room on the main landing opens and a Frenchman appears. He fires a revolver at Spook, but the shot merely splinters the door frame. Bullet fires a snap shot that takes him through the wrist, spinning him to the ground and sending the pistol skidding across the varnished floorboards.
The shot signals the beginning of the raid. Jerry charges the front door, smashing it from its hinges, and storms towards the shop counter. He does not have his MG42-S on this mission, because it is a little oversized for close quarters combat. Fool’s Mate cautiously follows, his MP40 covering the door to the kitchen. Jerry kicks over the counter and shoves it on top of the trapdoor, imprisoning any Resistance fighters hiding down there.
Sturmdrang over-extravagantly shoots the lock off the back door and he and Void sweep through the kitchen. It is empty. Oberschutze Sturmdrang orders Schutze Void to remain in the kitchen and cover his back as he clears the back room and heads upstairs. Having heard the gunfire from the upstairs landing, Void is in no hurry to disagree.
A second fighter emerges, more cautiously, from the room on the main landing, this one toting a British Sten submachine gun. Before he can spray Bullet and Spook with lead, Bullet drops him with an expert shot between the eyes. His body lands on the wounded fighter, pinning him to the floor.
Jerry is the first upstairs. If Bullet hadn’t recognised his WW1 vintage spiked helmet, he might have accidentally shot him. Behind Jerry are Fool’s Mate and Sturmdrang. They confirm that the room on the landing is empty and make contact with Spook and Bullet. Sturmdrang brutally kicks the wounded Maquis in the head as he passes.
Spook sends a few Walther PPK shots down the landing towards Patrick St. Pierre, who is firing a Sten from the doorway to his room. She is flung to the floor by a bullet glancing through the meat of her shoulder. Bullet drags her further back into the room.
From the top of the stairs, Fool’s Mate looks around at the layout of the landing and the disposition of his troops. He factors in the estimated distance between St. Pierre’s position and the funnelling effect of the walls and the rear bedroom doorway on explosive force… St. Pierre’s best strategy now would be to throw a grenade and take out all five of the Germans on the first floor. He shouts a warning, just as he hears the clink-clink-clink of an Einhandgranate 39 rolling along the floorboards. Bullet slams the bedroom door shut.
In the kitchen, Void dives for cover as an explosion sends plaster crumbling from the ceiling.
Fool’s Mate picks himself up from the stairwell and dusts himself down. Jerry is stood on the landing, his uniform shredded, his moustache dishevelled, a bit dazed but otherwise unharmed. Sturmdrang had hurled himself over the dead and wounded fighters into the room off the main landing and avoided most of the blast. The unfortunate wounded fighter was clearly dead, having been within a few feet of the grenade’s detonation point.
Patrick St. Pierre had them pinned down, and there was still no sign of the other Resistance Talent, Jean-Phillippe Gervon. They had to hit St. Pierre from the rear. While Fool’s Mate offered covering fire from his MP40, Bullet flies out of the window and over the rooftop and Jerry turns himself into a living battering ram and ploughs through the internal dividing wall between the room off the landing and into the dormitory. Sturmdrang ducks through the OAP-shaped hole in the wall just in time to see Jerry laying out the Resistance fighter earlier disarmed by Spook with a single punch to the head.
Bullet hovers down over the front of the bakery and slips in through the window to St. Pierre’s room. The baker is crouched behind the map table with a British Webley revolver (it’s becoming pretty obvious that this cell has access to weapons from outside of France). Bullet reaches for his chloroform pad and grabs at the baker. Although surprised, he throws Bullet aside and levels his revolver. The shot goes wide as Bullet kicks him and the two of them grapple over the weapon.
Sturmdrang slips out onto the corridor behind St. Pierre’s doorway as he fires off another burst at Fool’s Mate. Fool’s Mate makes eye contact with St. Pierre and Hypercommands him, in French, to drop his weapon, just as Sturmdrang places a bullet through the back of each of St. Pierre’s knees. The Sten drops to the floor to be kicked along the landing by Sturmdrang as he chloroforms the suspected Talent.
Jerry moves into St. Pierre’s room and finds Bullet still trading blows with the baker. A single Hyperstrong punch fractures the Frenchman’s skull and renders him very unconscious.
With the last Maquis on the top floor taken down, Fool’s Mate moves to treat Spook’s wounded shoulder – it turns out the wound isn’t that bad. Then the hauptmann heads downstairs to Hypercommand a surrender from the Resistance fighters hammering at the cellar door.
When Jerry lifts the counter out of the way, and Sturmdrang opens the trapdoor, a rifle and a couple of pistols are thrown out, followed by three Resistance fighters with their hands raised. One of them is Jean-Phillippe Gervon, who is not presenting any evidence of Talent abilities but is immediately chloroformed anyway.
A search reveals that Gervon has an envelope in his pocket, bearing the (broken) wax seal of Admiral Wilhelm Canaris. Fool’s Mate takes the envelope and pockets it. At a quiet moment, he surreptitiously reads it, photographically memorising the contents. It is written in a German code, similar to those used by the Abwehr, but unknown to him. After a second or two of thought, he has cracked it and memorised the decoded version of the letter:
C,
The time is set, and I trust that you have obtained the necessary materials for our plan.
I suspect an invasion of the West to be coming soon; the build-up on the English coast is significant, and agents in the country are reporting that Calais is to be the target. I am confident that our comrade, General Rommel, will hold any attempt to land troops by the Pas de Calais. If Germany can achieve a successful defence, it will damage the American will to fight, and may totally destroy the British ability to do so.
Should this defence succeed and our plan bear fruit, we may be able to find an honourable end to this war, and possibly even retain possession of our holdings in France and the Low Countries. Doubtless, we will either lose or be required to surrender the East to the Stalinists. I know you have lines of communication of which even I am unaware, but I will tell you now, frankly, that we are losing the war in the East. With our forces stretched on two fronts, we may not even be able to protect Germany’s borders. As sickening as it may be to contemplate, if we do not act, Berlin may fall to the Red Army.
That is why we, and above all, -you- must succeed.
Good luck.
Germany will remember you.
Ever your friend and ally,
W.
Several members of the squad notice that the baker’s wife was not present at the bakery. They briefly entertain the theory that perhaps Gervon or St. Pierre were actually the baker’s wife all along, using an ‘special talent’ similar to Spook’s Dead Ringer ability, until they work out that it was impossible since none of the three people had shown the signs of Talent use when seen by the Ubermenschen. They are forced to conclude that she must have left the premises some time before the raid.
The squad recovers all the weapons used by the Resistance fighters, along with the maps that Spook saw St. Pierre refer to when talking about the scheduled OSS parachutist. A cross has been pencilled in over farmland northeast of Paris – the suspected drop point?
As the prisoners are dragged out into the street, awaiting the scheduled Abwehr truck’s arrival, another truck arrives instead. It has the twin lightning strikes of the SS on the side, and a dozen MP40 or rifle-toting Waffen-SS soldiers jump out. One of them, a black-uniformed man in his thirties, wearing a greatcoat and peaked officer’s cap, walks up to the Abwehr squad and their prisoners, while the rest perform a belated raid on the bakery.
They recognise the officer as Hauptsturmfuhrer-SS Wilhelm Kruger, also known as ‘The Terror of Paris’, and leader of the Gestapo’s anti-Talent unit, The Hounds. He also wears the Odal rune on his lapel, indicating that he is an SS Ubermensch.
“Jean-Phillippe Gervon!” he snaps at Hauptmann Fool’s Mate Lebrous. “Hand him over.”
Fool’s Mate, being technically of the same rank as Kruger, albeit in the regular army rather than the SS, refuses. “These are our prisoners, we’re taking them to the Abwehr headquarters. If the admiral agrees, you can take charge of them afterwards.”
Kruger, with a reputation for being a psychotic killer, becomes angry at being beaten to his prize by the army intelligence corps. Worried about Kruger’s as-yet-unknown Talent abilities, Void (remember him?) activates his Zed power, nullifying all Talent powers in the area. Everyone feels a bit depressed and glares at him. Particularly Kruger.
“What the hell did you do that for, private!” he demands. “Switch it off now!”
Void ignores the order, seeing as how it comes from a non-army officer.
Kruger’s face reddens and he bellows, “Deactivate that fucking power now or I’ll have you sent to the Russian Front!”
Fool’s Mate quietly, and somewhat smugly, orders Void to deactivate his power. Void does so.
When Kruger’s men have finished searching the bakery (and found nothing), the SS give up and leave. Fool’s Mate and the squad head back to the regular army barracks and Abwehr HQ with their prisoners intact. From there, the prisoners are whisked into interrogation.
Spook goes to the field hospital for treatment and Jerry complains about a twinge in his hip from when he barged through the wall at the bakery.
current mood:  creative
current music: Kenny G - Sax For Lovers
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| Friday, February 4th, 2005
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9:47 am - Life sucks.
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Or at least, my bank account does.
After my optimism at the start of last month, that I'd be able to clear my overdraft, and then the eventual realisation that I might just miss it, and now this:
I started January £212.09 overdrawn.
I ended the month £289.59 overdrawn.
So down £70+ then.
And then I paid council tax and had to buy a new PSU.
£522.01 overdrawn.
I managed to more than double my overdraft in the month I was supposed to be clearing it.
I still owe Mr Jez this month's rent as well. So that'll be £672.01 overdrawn.
I got £60 last night, to make up for Tom and Kate's share of the last council tax bill. So that's £611.01 o.d.
Hmm, let's do a quick sum:
*brain works*
If you ignore the money I took out for the electricity bill (£100), I got £200 out of ATMs in January. So that's £200 that's been spent on little things like bus tickets (~£22.40), food at LURPS (I really need to cut down there...), snack foods, little bits and pieces for the house...
Bollocks.
I'm going to have to go back to doing full records of what I spend, just so that I know where I'm wasting cash.
Particularly now I'm unemployed(ish*). I've got an interview at the job centre this morning, so that'll hopefully get my JSA sorted out. This afternoon, I'll be seeing Dean about the monologue he wants me to perform at the Writers' Guild production, and if I've got time after that, I'll be trying to find a job.
And I'll also be paying off my credit card bill. Fuckity doodles.
*I actually have 15 hours at the TIC this month, so it's not all bad.
current mood:  disappointed
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| Thursday, February 3rd, 2005
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2:21 pm - Well, I've either done something horribly wrong...
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...or installing a new power supply unit into a PC is actually a piece of piss.
You know, even though this is meant to be a 'silent' PSU, I'm glad to hear the fan purring quietly away.
It means the damn thing's actually moving, unlike my old PSU, whose fan died at some indeterminate point in the past, hence the frequent overheating and crashing during high-resource games and prolonged periods of idleness, even when I removed the side panels to ease airflow.
And I'm pretty sure it's quieter than the near-buzzing of the old fan (and that's before I replace the side panels, too).
current mood:  accomplished
current music: Contented purrrrrrrrrrrrr
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1:24 am - Um...
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Just sent an email that might have been an incredibly stupid email to send.
*sigh*
I hate those late-night nagging thoughts.
current mood:  worried
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| Tuesday, February 1st, 2005
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2:58 pm - Ivan Noble has died
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I mentioned his tumour diaries in an earlier post, but he died yesterday in a hospice.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4193093.stm
His diary columns are being published in a book.
"If two or three people stop smoking as a result of anything I have ever written then the one of them who would have got cancer will live and all my scribblings will have been worthwhile."
The closing words of his final column
current mood: contemplative
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| Sunday, January 30th, 2005
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1:01 am - *despairing cries*
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I found this a few weeks ago, indirectly from the BBC News website.
http://www.michaelkelly.fsnet.co.uk/karl.htm
Tis disturbing, tis wrong, tis pretty darn funny in a suspicious kind of way.
I showed the site to my secret stalker (in an attempt to frighten her away :-p ), and she retaliated with the rather more disturbing:
http://www.femgeeks.net/infamy/stories.htm
On a sidenote, the @ symbol can look like a representation of a breast in certain circumstances. Imagine the possibilities when combined with emoticons...
current mood:  scared
current music: Leonard Cohen - Hey, That's No Way To Say Goodbye
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| Thursday, January 27th, 2005
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1:58 pm - Ivan Noble's Tumour Diary Comes To An End
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| Thursday, January 20th, 2005
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11:05 pm - At the request of my secret stalker...
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Yes, my stalker's been harassing me again, desperately trying to get me to update my blog so that she has something to read. (It's either that or she starts writing horrible things all over the shrine on her bedside table.)
So, what have I been up to?
Well, the police station job fell through. After the suckiest interview I've ever had (stammering, mind-blanking, admitting that I suck at interviews, lots of sweating), I had the assessment a week later. The assessment was a piece of piss. I whizzed through multiple choice questions on decision-making and non-verbal skills (pattern recognition sort of stuff), and felt at the time that I had most, if not all, of the questions that I answered right (you weren't expected to answer them all within the time limit).
Unfortunately, that afternoon I received a phone call where I was told that, although I did extremely well in the assessment, my interview let me down.
So that's my career in the police force over, unless I decide to go for constable training. That would take a rejection from the GTTR and general bad luck in finding a permanent job before then, but I think it could be an intriguing job - if a little depressing and unpleasant at times.
I'm currently taking the leave I saved up over the past six months in one two-week blob, finishing at the end of my contract on January 31st. From then, I'm unemployed again. Fortunately, I'm in a far better position than last time for getting a new job.
There's currently a £19k a year undergraduate recruitment job going at the university. I'm handing in the application form for that tomorrow. If I get it, I may have to reconsider standing for LURPS Tabletop Rep, since it involves a lot of travelling and 'substantial' stays away from home. If that's only an occasional thing, I may still be able to combine the job with an exec position, although I'd have to make clear at the hustings that I'd be absent at times, but that I'd ensure that any information went to the meetings via a proxy.
Tonight, I had the nightmarish experience of trying to start a roleplaying campaign without any written notes, other than that the PCs were hunting Resistance Talents in Paris, 1st June, 1944.
Okay, I spent the afternoon researching the leader of the Abwehr (German military intelligence), Admiral Wilhelm Canaris, and his... contributions... to the Nazi war effort, plus his eventual fate, but I didn't get the chance to plot out NPCs, places, events, and so on.
I can (just about) run a mid-campaign session without plans, because then at least I'll have unused plot from previous weeks, the consequences of previous actions on the part of the PCs, and ongoing sub-plots. In fact, I did this once or twice in Cthulhu Dark Ages (Note to self: finish that fucking plot summary, and redraft the Example of Play.)
Start a campaign on the fly, with PCs that have only just been generated? No. Can't do it. Maybe if it had been a more fantastic universe (Warhammer 40,000 with my Imperium system, WFRP, or even Smog & Mirrors), I'd have had a chance, but a historical setting needs a realistic (i.e. researched) grounding to the campaign.
Character generation went well. I had to veto Ricky's first character concept, though. I have no problem with GMing for a character who's a convicted rapist, but I drew the line at his Harm power manifesting as lethal ejaculate. In a serious game, like Godlike, it's too silly. In a more light-hearted or non-gritty game, it's just sick and tasteless.
Anyway, the party are an Abwehr intelligence-gathering and scouting unit, led by:
Naomi: A hauptmann (captain in US Army ranks) with an incredibly charismatic voice. People will shoot themselves at a word.
Cath: A leutnant (2nd lieutenant) who can fly, and who is an uncannily good shot with a rifle. A veteran of the Eastern Front, who has heard of the deadly depredations of Das Spukhaus, an apparently Russian 'Mad Talent'. But surely, Hitler himself said that only the German people had the breeding to unlock their superhuman abilities?
The rest of the squad are all of the rank of schutze (private):
Thomas: An Aryan Nazi who despises communists, and came to hate Jews because it was the done thing. His powers included *cough cough* Matrix-fu. Basically, an enhanced Coordination stat, combined with the Multiple Actions power, so he can dodge and shoot his MP40 submachine gun at the same time. He's also got the interesting ability to become bullet-proof, but only when singing Deutschland, Deutschland, Uber Alle while waving the German national flag and feeling confident that he's going to win the current battle. So, a great one for stealth missions...
Owen: A 65-year-old bookseller from Dresden, and a veteran of the Great War. They couldn't kill him in that war, and they sure as hell aren't going to kill him in this one. Particularly since he's now Extra Tough, has Heavy Armour, and has his stats boosted to the degree that he can tote a machine gun one-handed. As such, he's armed with the MG42-S, a variant on the classic German weapon, designed specifically as a sidearm for superstrong Talents, that has a magazine, rather than being belt-fed.
Ricky: A Zed Talent, with the ability to reduce or nullify the effects of any Talents within a 100 yard radius. On the downside, anyone within this area, Talent or mundane, feels very depressed and loses a dice from their pool on any actions. This could be an interesting one. It's a shame I had to veto Ricky for the second time in the night when he told me his character's alias: Null. In canon, which I'm trying to stick to as closely as possible, Null is Hitler's personal Zed Talent bodyguard, an unfortunate coincidence. Damn you Dennis Detwiller...
Erfalaswen: This one's not actually been plotted out entirely, since Kate wasn't there this evening, although the current plan is for her to have the Detection power, which essentially gives her radar, and possibly X-ray vision for seeing through walls.
A vague idea running through my head at the moment is Godlike 2003, set during the invasion of Iraq. If this campaign works, it may join the list of games to run next year.
My Blogspot journal has the advantage over Blurty in that it can be found on search engines, and my counter can log them. Long-term readers may remember that during my first run on Blogger, I occasionally mentioned interesting referrers on the blog. I've decided I'm going to share them more often. Here are five from the last couple of days:
"You deserve a hug" (Hear that, stalker?)
"archangel the superheroes in heaven"
"what must i do to get girlfriend in GTA SAN ANDREAS"
"uk schizophrenic helpline" (referencing mediawatch-uk, Tony Martin being schizophrenic, and me refusing to work on a Tourist Information helpline)
"termination letter"
There we go, secret stalker, happy now? *hug*
current mood: contemplative
current music: Amazing Grace, played on bagpipes
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| Wednesday, January 12th, 2005
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3:31 pm - 87% of people are retards. Official, undisputable, scientific fact.
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Tory MP Patrick Mercer's proposal for a 'Tony Martin Law', allowing householders to blast the shit out of unarmed burglars with shotguns, has been rejected by the Home Secretary.
Good.
(For those who support Tony Martin, he is a mentally unstable man, not allowed to own firearms, with an illegal and unlicenced pump-action shotgun, who shot a pair of unarmed burglars, from ambush, as they tried to flee. For a sane person, that is not home defence, it is murder. He had defended his home, having made them run away, and then decided to go the extra mile and rip another human being to shreds with a spray of red hot lead. And let's not forget the array of booby traps set up across his property, that the police had to disarm before they could go near the place. The Daily Mail championed this guy as a hero of the people...)
From the BBC:
Mr Mercer said he was extremely disappointed by the news but said he would continue to try to get his bill passed, especially as several police officers had supported the move.
He pointed to a survey for Virgin Money Insurance which suggested that 87% of people think current law on the issue is weighted in favour of criminals.
"This is public opinion, this is democracy, I'm amazed the home secretary is choosing to ignore this," said Mr Mercer, claiming Labour was treating his bill as a political football.
Let me think, 87% of people think current law is weighted in favour of criminals...
What the fuck does that mean? It means nothing.
The important word is 'thinks'. This is the public we're talking about. Let's take a poll of judges, lawyers and other people who actually know what the current law is and who aren't just piping out of their arse.
For those of you who don't know, the law allows 'reasonable force' to be used. This is the same guideline that covers assaults or killings in self-defence, and so on. It's rare for anyone to kill a burglar, rarer still for them to be charged with murder (and if the decision's taken to charge, that's because, well, they're believed to have murdered the burglar - see, due process in action, and if the decision was wrong, you get a not guilty verdict). You can tell when something's reasonable or unreasonable, but you sure as fuck can't legislate it. That's why you can't give carte blanche to householders.
And 'several' police officers support the change in the law? So what? What the fuck does a bobby know? Remember that the police go to the Crown Prosecution Service when they're deciding if someone should be charged with something. The police weren't good enough, which is why the CPS were set up (plus, separating evidence-gathering and prosecution removed some of the bias from the system).
Tony Martin's murder conviction was quashed on psychiatric grounds. He was suffering from a paranoid schizophrenic disorder and was suffering 'diminished responsibility' at the time he killed Fred Barras.
Lord Woolf, one of the appeal judges: "Martin used a firearm which he knew he was not entitled to have in a manner which was wholly unjustified. There can be no excuse for this, though we treat his responsibility as being reduced." A law-abiding, upstanding citizen, treated unfairly by the state? No, a lunatic with a pump-action shotgun.
Fuck Tony Martin's supporters. They're advocating murder of human beings (or rather, burglars, because in their eyes they're two separate things), not the care and treatment of the mentally ill, nor even greater rights for home owners. They're scum. That's my carefully balanced and cautiously given opinion.
Odd, isn't it, that the ones who scream the most about being law-abiding citizens are the ones who scream about changing the law to make it easier for them to do stuff?
No one remembers that guy, a few years ago, who spoke at a press conference about how he felt his life would never be the same again, after he wrestled a burglar on his lawn, and ended up stabbing him through the heart. He was let off, because he'd done it reasonably, and the law recognised this. Of course, you can't launch a tabloid media frenzy on a 'non-event' like that, can you?
current mood:  irritated
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| Monday, January 10th, 2005
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12:12 am - Jerry Springer: The Opera
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I was called out to the Dark Place on a mission of mercy, and had to record Jerry Springer.
And my video let me down.
I need to watch this thing, just to spite mediawatch-uk (aka the devilspawn of the evil Mary Whitehouse, may she rest in peace and shut the fuck up) and to get an opinion on the subject beyond my usual hatred of censorship and the moralistic Whitehouse bitch from hell.*
Does anyone have a recording of BBC2's broadcast last night, that I can borrow?
hmm, surely South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut had more swearing, if Springer's 8000 was determined by multiplying instances of swearing by the number of people singing in the chorus - a pathetically cheap trick by even the moral "majority's" standards. What about Uncle Fucka, with the entire nation of Canada singing:
Uncle
Fucka,
Uncle Fucka-Fucka-Fucka,
Uncle
Fucka,
Uncle Fucka-Fucka-Fucka,
Uncle Fucka,
That's U-N-C-L-E,
Fuck You,
UNCLE FUCKAAAAA!!!
*Suck my balls.* (Or however the song ended)
Hmm, yes, some prick of a church twat is taking out a private prosecution against the BBC for blasphemy. This was announced before they showed the performance, surprise surprise. (Although, to be fair, perhaps he'd previously gone and watched it in the West End, the cultured chap.) In all respect to the church and the Christianity it has wrongly claimed authority over, and bearing in mind I haven't yet seen Jerry Springer: The Opera, I despise anyone who tries to use the law against freedom of expression.
Okay, so people tend to make fun of Christianity a lot more than they do other religions. Hell, do you know why that is? Because western culture's reached that point where we don't kowtow to our dominant religion as much as we used to, and it's Christianity that stands up and tries to pass judgement on us most loudly on every social issue, and we're more knowledgeable about Christianity as a culture than we are about Islam, Judaism or whatever.
Plus there isn't a specific word that can be used to brand anyone criticising the religion (anti-semitism, islamophobia or whatever)...
Wow, starting to feel faint from hunger, pins and needles to the face, sweating. Going downstairs now, to eat lots of food, before I headbutt my keyboard...
*Sorry, an English Language degree, plus liberal tendencies, tends to get me riled about the dead harpy.
current mood:  giddy
current music: William Shatner - Common People
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| Sunday, January 9th, 2005
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3:45 am - And another one, for the psycho stalker in my life:
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Who are you?
Your prey and confidant.
. Are we friends?
Hell yeah. My closest.
. When and how did we meet?
Now that's something that we both seem to have trouble with. I think it was one of Mish's parties, but we must have met at the talk given by that transexual RAF bomber pilot at UniQ.
. Do you have a crush on me?
Ah, well, if you were single...
. Would you kiss me?
Yes. Been there, done that, it was fun.
. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
Psycho stalker woman. Because you're female and you're stalking me.
. Describe me in one word.
Cuddly.
. What was your first impression?
Ooh, cute friend of Mish's.
. Do you still think that way about me now?
Ooh, cute friend.
. What reminds you of me?
Asterisks.
. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
Happiness.
. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
Well, yeah. You remember the whole commitment thing?
. Are you going to put this on your journal?
Yeah, why not. I'm drunk.
. How have I affected you?
In the same ways that any close friendship affects anyone.
. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
You can probably guess this one...
. How long do you think we will be friends?
Forever, I like to think.
. Would you hug me?
I do, frequently.
. Physically, what stands out?
Your smile. You should do it more often.
. Emotionally, what stands out?
Your apparent vulnerability, and the sense of humour that goes with it.
. Do you wish I was cooler?
No. You're doing fine.
. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
9. There needs to be some space for Shania Twain and Ali Landry, right?
. Am I lovable?
Yes.
. What do you think my weakness is?
Low self esteem.
. Do you think I'll get married?
Maybe, but I know you're opposed to the idea at the moment.
. What makes me happy?
Security without external pressure.
. What makes me sad?
Stress that you don't feel you can cope with.
. Do you think I could kill someone?
Me, from time to time?
WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF:
» I died from suicide:
Grieve horrendously. And probably feel guilty.
» I said I liked you:
*hug*
» I kissed you:
Ask me in person, because the details aren't suitable for a public forum.
» I lived next door to you:
Learn to cook, so I could invite you over.
» I started smoking:
It's your choice.
» I stole something:
Look at you disapprovingly.
» I was hospitalised:
Stay at your bedside until such a point as you tell me to piss off. (Who's the stalker here, me or you?)
» I ran away from home:
Worry like hell. Try and contact you. Repeat until found.
» I got into a fight and you weren't there:
*comforting hug*
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
» Personality:
Sharp humour, occasionally overly pessimistic, perhaps.
» Eyes:
Bright.
» Face:
Beautiful, particularly the smile.
» Hair:
Stroky.
» Clothes:
Jeans and T-shirts.
» Mannerisms:
Smileys of various sorts.
» Family:
Never met 'em.
WOULD YOU:
» Be my friend?:
Through no intention, we seem to have become so.
» Lie to make me feel better?:
No. It wouldn't be fair on you.
» Spread rumours about me?:
Some would say there are enough rumours, but we both know there can never be enough, right?
» Keep a secret if I told you one?:
Yes.
» Loan me some cash?:
How much?
» Hold my hand?:
Gladly.
» Take a bullet for me?:
Yeah, why not. There's nothing to lose. If I die, I'm dead, full stop. If you die, I have to live with it.
» Keep in touch?:
Always.
» Try and solve my problems?:
Don't I?
» Date me?:
Yes.
» Love me?:
This sort of thing can only be answered by time.
current mood:  drunk
current music: Nothing. Good night.
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3:12 am - Grabbed off Mina Giry (and bearing in mind that I'm drunk)
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For Mina:
Who are you?
Archangel, Richard, whatever.
. Are we friends?
Yeah, I'd like to say so.
. When and how did we meet?
At the first Guild party. I kind of assumed you were a friend that Mandy had dragged along. Barely spoke to you, if I recall.
. Do you have a crush on me?
Ah, well, if you were straight...
. Would you kiss me?
Yes.
. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
Er... damn. Lucrecia excepted, I really don't do nicknames, sorry.
. Describe me in one word.
Hotandwhyisshegaybecausethatisn'tfairMandyyou'realuckygirl. (Is this cheating?)
. What was your first impression?
Hmm, who's hotter, Mandy or Mandy's friend, what's her name, Danielle? (Bearing in mind at this point I didn't realise you were a couple. In fact, I almost subscribed to a surprisingly common theory, that you were sisters!)
. Do you still think that way about me now?
It's a question I'm perfectly willing to leave unanswered, or just fudge with a, "They both are." Ahem...
. What reminds you of me?
References to Mina Harker/Murray.
. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
Tough one. I don't think you'd object to Peta Wilson in a black goth-Victorian dress, right? I know I wouldn't.
. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
"Are you and Mandy sisters, or lesbian lovers?" It's not the kind of question you just come out with, is it?
. Are you going to put this on your journal?
No, never. It'd be too embarrassing... Oh shit.
. How have I affected you?
Hmm, hard to put a finger on it, but you're fun to be around. You've made me look again at issues like hunting and so on.
. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
Well, you kind of pulled up the 'Slut' dress and demonstrated how your stockings stay up at the Bobbin tonight.
. How long do you think we will be friends?
Until you leave Lancaster, cos I'm here for good.
. Do you love me?
No.
. Would you hug me?
Yes.
. Physically, what stands out?
Your overall figure, perhaps. If that's not specific enough, how about your hair?
. Emotionally, what stands out?
Very... strong-willed, maybe.
. Do you wish I was cooler?
No. You've got the style, dress sense and attitude to suit me.
. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
8-9ish?
. Am I lovable?
Yes.
. What do you think my weakness is?
Not sure I know you well enough to have determined that yet. (But when I do, I will be able to destroy you, mwuhahahaha! Ahem...)
. Do you think I'll get married?
Er, possibly, maybe. Tell you what, I'll push the boat out and suggest sometime this month?
. What makes me happy?
I dunno. Mandy?
. What makes me sad?
Lack of aforementioned?
. Do you think I could kill someone?
Hmm... I always answer this question with: Anyone could kill anyone else if the situation demanded it, they just like to think they couldn't. (Psychological studies have been done, but can't be repeated for ethical reasons, because they involved the subject 'torturing' and in some cases 'killing' an actor pretending to be another subject.)
WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF:
» I died from suicide:
Grieve.
» I said I liked you:
Well, I think you did tonight.
» I kissed you:
Er, reciprocate, because it's polite, right? Then I'd probably go red, mutter, "What about, you know, Mandy," and then pull away. Reluctantly.
» I lived next door to you:
Pop around occasionally, invite you over to watch DVDs.
» I started smoking:
But, you already do.
» I stole something:
Look at you disapprovingly.
» I was hospitalized:
Visit, and make sure you were fine after you were discharged.
» I ran away from home:
Give you a ring and try and find out why, before deciding whether to persuade you to come back or not.
» I got into a fight and you weren't there:
I'd probably carry on with whatever I was doing. After all, I'm not there, so I don't know it's happening.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
» Personality:
Very talkative. Maybe this is just in comparison to your other half.
» Eyes:
Pretty.
» Face:
Ditto.
» Hair:
Fiery, but not in a psychotic way. More of a glamorous way.
» Clothes:
Floaty.
» Mannerisms:
Can't think. Emphatic, perhaps?
» Family:
Upper class(?) rural sorts, of those I've met.
WOULD YOU:
» Be my friend?:
Definitely.
» Lie to make me feel better?:
Tough one. I dislike lying for any reason, but I also dislike hurting people.
» Spread rumors about me?:
Nope. Except the one where I suspected you of being a L-E-S-B-I-A-N.
» Keep a secret if I told you one?:
Sure.
» Loan me some cash?:
How much?
» Hold my hand?:
Sure.
» Take a bullet for me?:
Er... A knife, maybe. I don't know you well enough yet for a bullet, sorry.
» Keep in touch?:
Sure.
» Try and solve my problems?:
Gladly.
» Date me?:
Heh, yeah.
» Love me?:
Woah, one step at a time. We haven't even dated yet!
(Note to self: re-read when sober and determine which bits need editing...)
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| Thursday, January 6th, 2005
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4:57 pm - Everyone else seems to have done it, so...
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1.What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
- Got a proper job.
- Passed two job interviews without being offered a consolation prize job instead of the one I went for.
- Built a proper wargames board (although I've yet to use the damn thing).
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
- I didn't make any (I think). I've not made any this year. If I were to do so, though, it'd probably be to stop looking for the best in everyone's motivations, all the goddamn time. It's one thing to try and view something from someone else's point of view (a good thing, as well), but sometimes it's just devil's advocacy and people act like shit because they're morally fucked up, or selfish, or ignorant, or just evil. (No, my job hasn't made me jaded, not at all...)
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
- No.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
- My cats, Topsy and Carrie, although I think Carrie was actually last year.
5. What countries did you visit?
- Scotland, specifically the Glasgow area with Wrong Mike and Anny to pick up Git.
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
- A permanent job, rather than a temporary contract.
- A girlfriend would be nice as well.
7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
- 26th December, because 140,000 people deserve it.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
- Getting my jobs.
- Being asked to write for Cthulhu Dark Ages.
9. What was your biggest failure?
- Not getting into St. Martin's.
10. Were you seriously ill during 2004?
- Not seriously.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
- Half-Life 2
- Cthulhu Dark Ages
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
- The world, for its response to the tsunami.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
- (Depressed) A portion of the Pulsar exec, but only when online. Professional differences, but hey, that's in the past.
- (Appalled) Git, the Luxembourger bastard. This one's in the present. The self-centred, manipulative scumfuck.
- (Depressed) Those who tried to use the tsunami as a way of scoring points against governments who didn't immediately hand over their nation's GNP in aid. I raise my hand here, against Bush's paltry first offer, but let's face it, no one knew how many people had actually died for days afterwards, and it isn't just a case of writing a cheque and saying, "Spend it." The money has to be found somewhere. That takes time. A nation can chuck a quid or two into a bucket and raise a phenomenal amount in just a few days. Governments have to see where they can get the money from.
(Not a particularly well phrased question, this one, since appalled and depressed are two separate emotions, and either of them can exist completely independently.)
14. Where did most of your money go?
- Necessary stuff, like rent and so on, first.
- Then DVDs, books and computer/video games.
15. What did you get excited about?
- My bedroom. (So big, so cool!)
- Being asked to write something for Cthulhu Dark Ages. (Woot!)
- Half-Life 2, plus the processor upgrade I needed to run it(!).
- The sheer size of the Writers' Guild (less excited when I realised that every female there was either in a relationship, gay or both - this isn't what I founded the society for, dammit!).
16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
- What Do You Do With A BA In English, from the musical, Avenue Q. It could almost have been written about me in the first half of the year.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier.
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter, if that's the right word. Less thin's probably better.
iii. richer or poorer? Richer. I am now less in debt than I was a year ago.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
- Writing. I just haven't done enough this year. Even when I was unemployed, I didn't knuckle down and produce much. The stuff I have written has been good, though.
- Romantic stuff.
- And sex. That would have been nice as well.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
- Signing on.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
- No idea. I quite like the idea of spending it in Lancaster, but not if there's no one else in the house on Christmas Day. I spent Millennium Eve alone and miserable, and I'm not doing it again (although I still say the only way of truly experiencing such a unifying, global event was to stay at home and watch it on TV).
21. How many one night stands?
- None. (Kind of depressing)
22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
- No. (More depressing)
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
- No. I don't do hatred. It's not worth it. Hatred is an active emotion that requires constant attention. It wastes too many hours and causes too much stress. Hell, I've even stopped hating Dharmesh Mistry, my flatmate from the first year. I still think he's a childish little shit, and I dislike him for that and for the crap he put me through in Grizedale, but it's not worth the effort to actively hate someone I've not spoken to for the best part of four years.
24. What was your favorite TV programme?
- Firefly, no contest.
- Well, somewhere close behind is Alias, followed by the West Wing.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
- It's been a pretty good year. At the top, I'd probably say, Hans Zimmer. Fucking amazing, some of his film soundtracks, particularly Black Hawk Down. Other than that, the Smiths, Tori Amos, Richard Cheese and Leonard Cohen (spot the odd one out in that list...).
26. What was the best book you read?
- Transmetropolitan.
27. Are you happy with your lot?
- Yes, overall. A little lonely from time to time.
28. What did you want and get?
- An upgrade that bumps my computer back into the mine's-bigger-than-yours stakes.
29. What did you want and NOT get?
- A flat-screen monitor.
- A new power pack, also for the computer.
- Kirsten Dunst.
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
- The Return of the King Extended Edition, although I still haven't seen it. How fanboyish is that?
- Okay, if it's films I have actually watched, that'd have to be Shaun of the Dead. Superb script, acting, direction. I'm not exagerrating when I say I consider that film to be a work of art, rather than just entertainment. And it genuinely is a romantic comedy. With zombies.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
- Had Anny and Emilie over for dinner at Lentworth House. That was good. I was 23.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
- Hmm, just falling into a relationship, preferably (but not compulsarily) one that didn't fit into The Beg, Borrow or Steal Theory (Williamson, 2004), which seems to apply to most of the relationships in the extended LURPS/Pulsar/etc. circle of friends. We're an incestuous lot, aren't we?
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
- Casual, apart from when I was at work. At work, my fashion concept became, anything but white, cos that's fucking soul-destroying and vilely boring.
34. What kept you sane?
- Being psychologically sound helped, something which occasionally makes me look odd amongst my circle of friends.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
- Kirsten Dunst. It's amazing what a killer smile and a rain-sodden dress can do for me. *rolls eyes*
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
- The US elections.
- The "aftermath" of the Iraq war (although I notice the BBC occasionally refer to the "ongoing" war in Iraq).
- The hypocrisy of the media. (Not a political thing in itself, but politics often finds itself embroiled in this kind of bollocks.)
- Anything where someone's personal life has been used as a weapon in political feuding. (Come on, who's more of a role model? A politician or a Premiership footballer? Who's more likely to resign, nay, expected to, because of an affair?)
37. Who did you miss?
- Claire and Liz, two friends I've almot lost touch with and haven't seen for ages.
- Emilie as well - I barely saw her last term, damn her MA.
38. Who were the best new people you met?
- Mandy, Danielle, Cath.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
- How to change a light fitting. (Did it this evening. Piece of piss.)
- Make sure, rather than just being good at something practical, make sure you have a bit of paper that says so (CLAIT Plus, in my case, although it later turned out I need to resit the Access module, oops).
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up (the first half of) your year:
”What do you do with a BA in English,
What is my life going to be?
Four years of college,
And plenty of knowledge,
Have earned me this useless degree.
I can't pay the bills yet,
Cos I have no skills yet.
The world is a big scary place.
But somehow I can't shake,
The feeling I might make,
A difference to the human race.”
current mood:  cheerful
current music: Hans Zimmer - Black Hawk Down - Tribal War
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| Saturday, January 1st, 2005
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8:49 pm - Happy New Year
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And it was as well.
On the 30th, I received my official termination letter from the Northern Division HR department. My supervisor took me into the manager's (vacant) office and, well, broke the news that we pretty much knew was coming anyway. I was fine with it, but she looked really guilty; it's her first time having to sack someone (not that it was really a sacking, but simply the end of a contract). I felt like just hugging her, and this had (almost) nothing to do with her being a gorgeous redhead with the body of a goddess.
The day after, New Year's Eve, I got another letter from HR, offering me an interview for the position of Northern Division Local Intelligence Officer, on Tuesday 11th January. Nice. It's not in the bag; I've been an employee of Lancashire Constabulary for less than six months, and this position brings with it a massive payrise and supervisory responsibilities. I think anyone already from the Intelligence department who goes for it stands a better chance than me. Oh well, fingers crossed, and I'm going to apply for the (higher-paid) researcher job going at LUSU as well. Kate says she's going to go for it as well, which could be fun.
Anny's party went brilliantly. No drunken moronicity, lots of lovely punch (that seemed to get stronger as the night went on, eh, Kate?), and loads of fun. It's weird how easily the phrase, "Guillaume is a selfish, evil, little shit. For Christ's sake, just go out with the commie," has slipped into the collective vocabulary of our circle of friends.
At midnight, Auld Lang Syne (with some of us even knowing the words: "Nu-nur nuh-nuh, nu-nur nuh-nuh, nuh nuh ner nuh Auld Lang Syne!"), a symbal (or sumble, however it's spelled) and then I sent Happy New Year text messages to everyone. Well, not everyone. More messages than in previous years failed to get through, so to everyone who's on my phone, yet didn't get wished a Happy New Year, you have it now.
I ended up staying up all night with Craig Slee, watching Queer as Folk, skipping the second half of the first season because of a No Disc error, and finally seeing the final episode of the second season, with it's weird reality collapse ending.
Tom's back tomorrow as well, his family having decided to go somewhere that wasn't the Maldives this Christmas.
It seems to be a theme in recent end-of-year blogs for people to retrospect on the year just gone. Well, where to begin:
2004 was the year without sex. Now it's passed by, I find myself shrugging. So what? I'm 23. I have the rest of my life ahead of me. Including 2005.
Last term, I abandoned Pulsar, a society I loved, because I didn't like the way it was being run. Next term, I'm rejoining, now there's a new exec (yes, it's largely the same as the old one, but the balance has shifted). I need to dig out Total Recall 2070 (more Blade Runner than Total Recall, but perhaps they couldn't afford the rights) and Cube (or has Pulsar already shown that one?). Hmm, I must have some other films. That's it: Innocent Blood, a vampire gangster movie with a largely B-list cast.
I stood for election at LURPS and lost to Dark Luke, by one measly vote. I'm going to stand again come the elections.
I've taken my first steps into the roleplaying industry, thanks to the Cthulhu Dark Ages example of play I've written (which I will be redrafting after I post this and then sending back to Stephane Gesbert). It's not a big start, but it's something. A morale boost if nothing else.
Employment-wise, I may have an uncertain future at the TIC (I will refuse to become a telephone helpline operator, if that's what my job becomes - no fucking way am I telling people what day their bins are due to be collected and how to pay their council tax), and be at the end of my police station contract, but I have two potentially excellent referees and a nice work history and proof of skills to put on any future job applications.
My financial situation, as mentioned in other posts, is rosy, particularly since it was pointed out to me that I am an innumerate retard, and that my financial forecast in the previous post actually leaves me with £220-ish next month. Oops. [Insert embarrassed smiley here.] I probably will clear my overdraft after all... I say again, Happy New Year.
current mood: optimistic
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| Thursday, December 30th, 2004
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12:03 am - Financial thinking out loud (I've been alone in the house for too long...)
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Right, just paid council tax for this month. £132. Ouch, but it should be cancelled out by Tom paying this month's share, and Kate paying this month and last month's.
Filled in my spreadsheet (a less scrupulous record than it was when I started it, but it still works for the general ebb and flow of my finances) and worked out that it's going to be hard to clear my overdraft by the end of next month, although it's still possible, assuming there's no big surprise expenditures.
Current state of affairs:
-£137, almost exactly where I was at the start of the month.
I'll be getting a tenner out tomorrow to cover lunches for the rest of the week, plus another tenner to buy alcimohol for Anny's New Year's party (the evening of 31st December, if anyone's interested...).
I've had to put an emergency £10 on the gas meter (we ran out this morning, whoopy-fucking-do).
That leaves me £30 down over the entire month.
However, let's look at the state of play.
Things I've bought for myself this month:
- Half-Life 2 (started again with new, improved graphics)
- Dawn of War (about four missions into the campaign, plus skirmish mode with four playable armies, so lots of replay there)
- Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines: Attack of the Colons (Just delving into that, so I expect to be playing this one for a while)
- Armageddon (A big thick book about the war in Germany, 1944-45)
- Various DVDs, of which I haven't watched Saving Private Ryan or Gangs of New York yet
Plus I've also got Going Postal (Pratchett) to restart, as well as Greg Stolze's Godwalker (Unknown Armies fiction, woot!!!). I'm in the middle of playing The Getaway: Black Monday on the PS2, and am on my second play-through of GTA: San Andreas, although I'm thinking of starting that one again from scratch as well, after deleting the save file so I go back to losing my weapons when I go to hospital or get arrested. I still have two episodes of World War One In Colour to get through, and I may rewatch parts of the series anyway, taking notes for Smog & Mirrors.
There's also Godlike to get my head around before term starts, ready to run my Wehrmacht Ubermenschen game (that's what I bought Armageddon for, research material).
Oh, and Tom's picked up Twin Peaks on DVD, and we've been lent a copy of season two of Alias.
In short, I've got lots of stuff to do this month, so it's not like I'll be spending vast quantities of cash on luxuries like DVDs, books or games.
Now, back to stuff I do want to buy this month:
- An electric heater for my room. Despite reorganising my room to allow for better circulation of warm air, it's still bloody cold in here with the radiator on full. I never thought I'd say this, but my room is just too big! So an electric heater of some description (a visit to Argos or Index, I think) to put on the floor beside my computer desk, away from my actual computer (see below).
- A new power pack for my computer, because the one I've got keeps overheating and shutting the computer down. It works fine most of the time at the moment, provided I take the side plates off the tower (which of course brings an increase in the amount of dust getting into the machine). This isn't a vital purchase, but it'd be nice to get it out of the way.
- A daylight bulb. I've nicked one of Kate's and put it in my main room light. That energy saving bulb that was in there before was just too harshly yellow. Pseudo-daylight's much nicer. I could do with picking one up to replace that one.
- Glasses. The frame's broken on the ones I've got, the prescription's two years old and there's a few minute traces of superglue on the right lens, so a replacement might be a nice idea. The good news is, my parents have offered to put some money towards these. I think they actually offered to cover the whole cost, which was nice of them. And I didn't even hint at them.
- Trainers. Now this one is urgent. The holes are getting bigger and they're just generally bringing down my overall appearance. (What?)
Predicted expenditure in January 2005
Assuming my parents cover the new glasses, but with an eye test of approximately £15, £30 for trainers, £30 for the power pack, and £30(?) for the heater, that puts me on about £105 for unpredicted expenses next month.
Food costs around £120 for four weeks, more or less, including money put into the house kitty.
Council tax costs me £44. (I may even get some money back in Council Tax relief over the next few months, if I end up on Jobseeker's Allowance again, but that's for the future).
Rent costs £150.
My Direct Debit to Amnesty International is £5.
Bus fares to and from campus come to around £20 over the month
So that's a total of £444 expenditure.
My income is going to be:
Approximately £625 from the police station, and £38 from the Tourist Information Centre (only 6 hours next month).
Total: £663-ish
Subtract £444 from £663 and you get a vague £120-ish.
So, using those figures, and bearing in mind the £30 yet to come out of my bank account, not quite enough to break even. On the other hand, the freezer is full of my food and I may have over-estimated some of the prices of the things I want to buy. I could forego the heater and just wear a fleece (it works, I did it last night). Also, I might end up with a slightly above average final pay cheque from the police station (for some reason it fluctuates...).
Anyway, even I don't break even in January, I'm still almost £1250 better off than I was six months ago. I'm now out of the financial stress region, and if I end up with another job, even a part-time one, or extra hours at the TIC, I'll become a saver again!
I haven't had a positive amount of money in my account (for longer than a few days before rent and so on have come out) since... term 2 of my first year.
Where I am now feels good.
*blissfully ignoring the £10,000 student loan because it doesn't need paying yet*
current mood:  relaxed
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| Saturday, December 25th, 2004
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10:49 pm - Okay, a more festive update
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As requested by an anonymous commenter on my previous entry (the Blurty edition, at least), something a little more festive.
Merry Christmas to you all, or whatever alternative festival you wish to celebrate. As an atheist in a traditionally Christian country, it's Christmas for me, just without the religion.
The person in question in the last post was not a c-word for anything he'd done to me, but I was present when he displayed his c-wordery with regards to a very close friend, so it got me a little annoyed. That's all the public explanation I'm going to give, sorry. You'll have to pick at another branch on the grapevine.
(And this fucking keyboard is laid out differently to the one I use back in Lancaster, and is set up on an uneven table, so it's fucking wobbling at every fucking keystroke!!! That and 'Page Down' is where 'End' should be. Anyway...)
Today, I woke up late. It was 0935 hrs before I was up (I'm thinking in the 24-hour clock thanks to this job...) before I opened my first present. I had even had a shave and got dressed. What's happening to me? Have I grown up?
Anyhow, I got my 3GHz Pentium 4 processor and matching motherboard, plus a 512MB stick of RAM, so much wootage and Half-Life 2ery once I get it all put together tomorrow. And eventually I'll have to buy another stick or three of RAM to really twink out my machine. But first, food, clothing, rent and a new job.
Bored of the Rings - not exactly Spike Milligan quality, but an amusing spoof in places.
I got a mini digital camera as well. Not tried it yet, but it's diddy. (The only time, I assure you, you will read that word on my blog.)
Shaun of the Dead. Watched it with my parents. Mum kept squicking at the gory bits, Dad kept laughing at them. Hmm, and they always complained I was too interested in violence... I will have to start putting little round stickers on DVDs and stuff so that I know which ones are mine and which are Tom or Kate's. I only watched Tom's version of Shaun a week or two ago.
Spent most of the morning watching the first half of Live Aid and sending seasons greetings around by text message. Anyone I missed, it was either because I haven't got your number, I don't like you, I didn't have enough credit to go around everyone, or (this being a public blog) I've never met you before.
Had lunch, didn't have Grandma around at all, because she's 200 miles away in London, with my uncle. Ha ha! Another Christmas tradition broken! Joy. She'd have just commented on the appearance and talent of the various Live Aid performers if she had been here. I wonder if she'd have tried blaming the Ethiopians for their own famine. Maybe, maybe not. After all, Ethiopia is Christian, so they couldn't possibly do anything wrong. Watched various things on TV. I think Before They Were Famous is coming on now, so I'll be downstairs in a moment.
Tomorrow, off to the sales and pick myself up some trainers and jeans. And maybe glasses. If Kate's still unemployed by the time I get into my fortnight off work (two weeks holiday, taking it for the last two weeks of my contract at the police station), I'll have to drag her around Lancaster and find me a new pair of glasses to replace the broken ones.
Who knows, if I'm a little frugal* next month, I may even be £100 or so in the black the next time a pay cheque comes in. Here's hoping. :-)
(EDIT) Bugger, Cath's email address doesn't seem to be working, which is odd. Or maybe it's a Hotmail fuckup. Cath, if you're out there, Merry Christmas, and I'm immortalising you.(/EDIT)
*Frugals: small, gnome-like creatures who live in the hollows beneath trees. They hoard gold coins That roll out of the purses of travellers who sleep against the trunk of their homes. In recent years, frugals have become rare, thanks to the loss of their habitats due to increasing industrialisation and the practice of 'squandery', where packs of men use trained hounds, called 'misers', to locate frugal burrows and then dig them out. The frugals are rarely harmed in themselves, but their hoards are stolen. The loss of this money generally causes extreme depression in whole family groupings of frugals. Often, whole groups that have been made homeless in this way will stampede over the edges of cliffs to their deaths.
current mood: cheerful
current music: None. At home, on an alien computer
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| Friday, December 24th, 2004
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12:20 am - Scuse the harsher than usual language, but...
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...What an absolute fucking cunt!
current mood:  angry
current music: None, I'm about to go to bed.
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| Monday, December 20th, 2004
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12:11 am - The Color Quiz
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www.colorquiz.com
It's been a while since I've done this one, but I'm still impressed with its results. I do query the Existing Situation bit. At the moment I've been thinking a lot about consequences of my desires.
Your Existing Situation
Impulsive and irritable. His desires, and the actions involved, are paramount, with insufficient consideration being given to their consequences. This leads to, or arises from, stress and conflict.
Your Stress Sources
Delights in the tasteful, the gracious, and the sensitive, but maintains his attitude of critical appraisal and refuses to be swept off his feet unless genuineness and integrity can be absolutely vouched for. Therefore keeps a strict and watchful control on his emotional relationships as he must know exactly where he stands. Demands complete sincerity as a protection against his own tendency to be too trusting.
Your Restrained Characteristics
Feels that he cannot do much about his existing problems and difficulties and that he must make the best of things as they are. Able to achieve satisfaction from sexual activity.
Feels that things stand in his way, that circumstances are forcing him to compromise and forgo some pleasures for the time being.
Your Desired Objective
Hopes that ties of affection and good-fellowship will bring release and contentment. His own need for approval makes him ready to be of help to others and in exchange he wants warmth and understanding. Open to new ideas and possibilities which he hopes will prove fruitful and interesting.
Your Actual Problem
Intensely critical of the existing conditions which he feels are disorganized or insufficiently clear-cut. Is therefore seeking some solution which will clarify the situation and introduce a more acceptable degree of order and method.
current mood:  thoughtful
current music: Hayley Westenra - Benedictus
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depressed