| blabber {violin} |
[08 Jan 2003|12:03am] |
a thousand times. again & again. incessant. non-stop. can't stop. no way stop! 'i have to practice. i must. you don't understand.' crystals in her eyes - one by one slidding down her sweet cherry cheeks. at least - eight hours a day... everyday. all she ever does is play - her vivid carmine & yet burgundy violin. her fingers dance on the strings until they are raw - carmine & crimson - carmine under the silver lines - & crimson on top - painting them - G, D, A and E - from fifth position to first. they bleed while her mind screams... 'why?' she parts with her love. her violin. and defeated - she cries. because even after the hours, the torture, the struggle - she can't play. not well. not well, at all. her instrument never sings under her control - it mews, whimpers, and when she is lucky - cries a strange soft serenade. & she cries... & she cries... & she cries... because she is passionate. she wants nothing more than to play. to really play. to give her beloved carmine & burgundy flame a breathtakingly mellifluous voice, to create a life within the music with her hands, to convey messages of anger, adoration, ecstasy, and exasperation through her notes... now - her desires are nothing more than a dream - aerial visions. yet, that's not all that they will be.
hmm... lol. i used to be afriad to write about violins. hehe. well - i used to be afriad to do anything with my scribbles involving violins. don't ask why. the above, though, is a freshly edited stream-of-words from 01/01. =D
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| a quiz {colorquiz.com} |
[07 Jan 2003|08:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 tired |
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| [ |
music |
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eve & gwen - let me blow your mind |
] |
Your Existing Situation
Avoids excessive effort and needs roots, security, and peaceful companionship. May be physically unwell, in need of gentle handling and considerate treatment. {or I may be stressed out - trying to retain a sort of balance between sanity, modesty, egocentricity, and a breakdown.}
Your Stress Sources
Delights in the tasteful, the gracious, and the sensitive, but maintains her attitude of critical appraisal and refuses to be swept off her feet unless genuineness and integrity can be absolutely vouched for. Therefore keeps a strict and watchful control on her emotional relationships as she must know exactly where she stands. Demands complete sincerity as a protection against her own tendency to be too trusting. {how true! how true! if i say that i love you...i will love you forever.}
Your Restrained Characteristics
Trying to calm down and unwind after a period of over-agitation which has left her listless and devoid of energy. In need of peace and quiet; becomes irritable if this is denied him. Insists that her goals are realistic and sticks obstinately to them, even though circumstances are forcing her to compromise. Very exacting in the standards she applies to her choice of a partner. {shh!! don't tell all of my secrets - impossible is what i specialize in.}
Your Desired Objective
Wants to establish herself and make an impact despite unfavorable circumstances and a general lack of appreciation. {creepily correct - thanks... erm, you mean people's general lack of appreciation of me, right? lol. }
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| new look {hmm?} |
[05 Jan 2003|11:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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rilo kiley - paint's peeling |
] |
i've been fighting with blurty for quite awhile... & i managed to give my journal a new look. it's not horrible considering what i had to endure to get to this. {my computer is in a coma... i'm using my father's. i can't ftp & i have no fonts. just photoshop 5.}
the girl is makoto ogawa of morning musume. she's funny. sheesh... i love j-pop.
^-^
now to read faulkner's absalom, absalom.
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| insane {vanilla coke + coffee} |
[05 Jan 2003|02:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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electronic humming |
] |
i forget to warn you. i am a bit....nuts.
i adore vanilla coke and i like coffee. a few minutes ago - i had some vc. my parents made coffee. {black, bland, bitter, bleh!}. i didn't want to add any sugar... because i always add sugar. i thought, 'why not vanilla coke?' café au vanilla coke. half coffee. half coke.
never again!!! disgusting. utterly gross. yuck yuck yuck.
i thought about deleting this. but, i probably won't. instead - my readers shall suffer. sorry. (you'll be tormented by more of the below). now, i have a date with the shower. i also have dates with a book, a paper, and a 500 word essay for an engineering school telling them why they should pick me.
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| blabber {where i want to be, love} |
[04 Jan 2003|07:07am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the hum of the computer |
] |
stars laced together.
a novel constellation born of dreams and aspirations: {where i want to be. 12/24/02}
the ideal temperature: seventy-three degrees. a vivacious mat of verdure. a caramel-colored trunk springing forth from the viridity – reaching for the aquamarine heavens with branches covered in blossoms the hues of a pale rose. a breeze causes soft pink petals to fall, producing a blizzard of sugar-esque snow. blossoms in her hair. a girl and a boy. a princess and her love, tucked away under the tree - giggling & creating, saving, with pens, pencils, paper & resplendent super-sleek metallic laptops. he picks the petals out of her hair and off of the backwards blue and white baseball cap she insists on wearing – nevermind her black lace shirt and fancy night-colored tulle skirt. quickly, she kisses him on his cheek and smiles a sweetly devilish grin – something only that girl can master (like the baseball cap and skirt). lovingly, he smiles back at her. yet, he remains in awe of this ethereal brilliance: his surroundings and his love. His atmosphere.
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| an introduction |
[04 Jan 2003|04:35am] |
hello. i don't know what inspired me to create this. i already have a blog & an online journal - but, i suppose that i can be more open here without being long-winded (that's the journal) and without worrying about lovely offline people finding it (that's the blog). so this - my blurty - lol - will be an experimentation of words.
i need some friends, no?
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