| .beyond the horizon. | ||||
| 05:00am 12/04/2004 | ||||
 yeah, i know i've posted the crossword poem before. but, i just found it again and i like it. so, read it again and be amazed. well, this week has gotten off to a...start. good news though, i actually got up and went to class today. milestone achievement for me. but, seriously, this could be the week that actually kills me with 4.0 and go again tonight for accounting, an accounting test on tuesday, econ test on wednesday, linear test on thursday, and 4.0 and go again thursday night. i'm going to die, which i'm personally not in favor of. meh, it's ok. i'll get through it somehow. i always do. and hey, i didn't like sleep that much anyway so everything will be fine. well, easter weekend was alright. besides studying, i mainly sat around and watched my new friends: season 7 dvd and hung out with the family, and that always means good food. we went out to eat at macaroni grill friday night and i felt like i hadn't eaten in several days so i ordered one entree and then our waiter was kind enough to let me get a side of salmon from another dish. it was awesome and i think i'm still quite full. but it was generally good to be home. my parents thought my piercing fit me well and told me it was "cool." other reactions have been mixed but, overall, everyone likes it and i'm still mondo pleased with it. yay! well, this weekend is parent's weekend but this friday also holds to be the frickin' awesomest day, maybe ever. why, you ask? well, kill bill: volume 2 hits theaters and that gets me excited. after this hell of a week, i'm gonna need some vengeance and aggression in some form and i think kill bill will satisfy that need. ssooo grood.  ok, well, about that thing in my last post that's been on my mind, it's still there so i shall enlighten you. well, i've been thinking alot about the future lately. nothing specific really. just the future of me and the future of my life and who i am. we all go through periods of wondering where we're going. for me, it's really wondering what God has in store for me. and i'm in one of those periods. for whatever reason, i feel in my heart that i’m on somewhat of a “good path” in my life. everything seems to fit and i can honestly see God’s purpose for the whos, whats and whys in my life. but, the main notion running through my brain is that question about tomorrow, and the next day, and the next month, and so on and so on. i so often wonder what i’m gonna do when I get out of college. hell, i even wonder what i’m gonna do while i’m here. what’s going to happen the next time I wake up, if God grants me that? and the point about the future i've thought about is, we just don’t know, and, personally, that sucks in a fear-of-the-unknown kinda way. i mean who am i going to become? will i be a successful businessman working for some big corporation? will i even get a job? where am i going to live? will i ever be a husband? a father? will i still know all the people i know now? will i still call them friends? will i be alone? etc, etc…the list goes on. and, to be honest, there are things about the future that scare the bageezes out of me. i hate (note the strong word) thinking that, i could, potentially, wake up tomorrow and have everything disappear from my hands. granted, that’s pretty much guaranteed not to be the case for me or for you, but it always falls in the “it could happen” category. however, on the other hand, there are a lot of things about the future that excite me beyond the point of measurement. and, at times, i can’t wait for the future to get here. i guess the harsh truth is that the future really is scary but it’s got a lot in store for each of us. when i really think about it, i know that God has so much already planned for us that He's constantly working out each day. so it doesn’t really matter where i’m going. what matters is that God is taking me there. and because of that, i know my future will be just that: a future. i look at my life now, and i see all the people and things God has blessed me with, and i’m comforted in knowing that those are the pieces of my future God is putting in place now. and while i may not understand everything right now, and i don’t know what’s going to happen, what i’m going to become, where i’m gonna end up, or who’s gonna be there with me, if i trust in Him, everything will be o.k. well, i know that got a little long but it felt good to get out so i hope you enjoy my rambling. just thoughts running amuck in my brain. musings, if you will. and now, i must be off for a night of fun and adventures. by fun i mean reading and by adventures i mean studying. joy. don't you wish you could join me? i wish you could... (//|||J-Rod, over and out|||\\)  the sun will rise tomorrow |
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contemplative| apt37 | ||
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