.um, what to say?.   
12:45am 04/03/2004
 
mood: determined
music: Switchfoot - 24
hrm...aside from the normalcy of being generally happy. not much is happening. my days usually end up like this:
-go to at least one class
-shower at the apartment, get stuff together, maybe eat
-go to wesley and, depending on the day, have dinner, bible study or worship
-sit on the couch with jennifer (best part of the day) and "study" or "do work"
-go home and chat with jenn until going to sleep in our sauna of an apartment.

there are some fluctuations or additions, but not much really. it's quite a routine. weekends are up to the mercy of whatever happens though. but this weekend, my parents are coming down to help me get ready for england (whoop!). fun stuff indeed. but thats about all i really have to say. i guess i'll talk about mind ramblings.


tonight at worship, we talked about grace and peace and it got me thinking as to how much God cares about me. i worry so much about so many stupid and little things. every single day, there's something. and every night i pray for those things. and i ask for guidance. then i sleep, only to awake almost everyday with a renewed confidence. and i especially felt that this morning. but, lo and behold, i got in the way and put that confidence on the side and didn't follow through with that confidence. i don't know how i go through everyday trusting in God but trying to live my life at the same time. i need to just turn everything over to Him all day, everyday. but, instead, i hold on to stuff from every angle of my life that God could ease in the wave of a hand. and the ironic thing, i guess, is that in my heart i can honestly say that i know God is taking care of me, even when i'm not turning to Him. i feel Him stirring in me. He just comforts me and, at the end of the day, lets me know that tomorrow will be ok.

look at that. something i said with a little substance. and i thought i had nothing to say. well....back to doing nothing until sleep consumes me.

a man called Jarrod.		  
   

(.the frailty of words.)
 
time for an update   
11:21am 04/03/2004
 
mood: content
music: As I Lay Dying - The Beginning
hmm...well let's see what's been goin on lately. yesterday was my history test. it started at 9:10. i slept on the couch the night before bc it was so freakin hot in our apt. not was, is. anyway, i rolled off the couch at, guess what, 9:10. so i threw on clothes and grabbed a blue book, thought about running to class but quickly realized that was impossible bc of my shins. i got to class 10 minutes late, meaning i had 40 minutes to do my two question essay test. finished with 5 minutes left and felt awesome. went to geology and found out my test in there is next wednesday. considering it had been like a week since i had been to class, i have some studying to do. after class i went to wesley and hung out for a while, came back to the oven, then went to wesley for caregroup meeting, dinner, worship, and goofing off. it feels nice not to have all of this stuff looming imminently over me again. played basketball, it was a gut-wrenching 4 point loss (our second close loss in two games). but we played well and i feel good going into playoffs.

so last night i was going to sleep with the fan on above my head. that's how desperate i was, i didnt care if i was risking severe bodily injury, i just wanted to be cold. holy crap, it was still hot up there, hotter than alyssa milano with no clothes on. haha, jk. so ben and i went and slept at wesley (shhh!) down in the care group room. i woke up at 9:15 and walked over to my poetry class, where i got to read my ultra-cool slam poem about love. i cannot wait for the next competition, i am gonna roll more heads than keith richards has done drugs. i'm already memorizing them. ooohhh...but i need to pick out poems to enter in the gordone award contest (if i win, it's 250 bucks for me)...i don't think i'm gonna get it though. well....that's another story.

oh, and i talked with alicia for about 1 1/2 hours yesterday afternoon. i miss that kid, but she's havin fun over in england. i need to work up a lil package to send her. she's gonna see if she can track down you wesley people while you're over there on spring break. i can't wait for this summer. well, i can, i love it here. but i'm gonna have fun hanging out with old friends from back home. speaking of which, jim love is gonna have an intern this summer, so i need to email him about applying for that. alright, on that note, i'm out like a newborn baby.

Cram		  
   

(2 broken hearts | .the frailty of words.)
 
  apt37
 
 
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