| whoohoo!! |
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| 10:08am 25/05/2004 |
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mood:  chipper music: Dead Poetic - Bliss Tearing Eyes
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the concert last night was amazing. i was worn out in the middle of dead poetic's set, it was that intense, but i kept going. moshing is so much freakin fun....especially when you're getting knocked around by a couple of linemen. the show was so freakin awesome, and so freakin hot. the venue was pretty neat, but i'm pretty sure their AC was broken. broken AC = not cool, literally. it must have been over 90 degrees in there. but the bands were amazing, project 86 was insane. Brandon and Andrew weregrabbing the lighting bracket and swinging it around...i was sure they'd break it.
let's see...what else is new other than my semi-deafness. oh yea! everybody needs to go check out my website the burial grounds, it's gotten a super-cool facelift and is going to be updated throughout the summer.
ok, well i'm going to go register for summer courses. looks like i'll probably br taking 2nd session after all. later, skaters.
marc "last night was amazing" brubaker
so light it up and let it fly away
a molotov cocktail, my dreams symbolized in flames |
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| an update? |
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| 02:17pm 23/05/2004 |
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music: Project 86 - A Shadow on Me
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hey everyone. i guess i could update this thing. i guess i could do a lot of stuff. the truth is, i'm bored out of my mind and i don't really want to do anything. grr. i really wish i had a job so that i could feel productive (and make some money) but that doesn't appear to be happening. plus all my friends here are still in school, except alicia and walker who are out of town (plus alicia works all the time). i'm bored and i'm complaining. get over it.
i ought to do something productive, like write, or get started on cleanin up my room so i can redo it. i ought to start running so that i can rebuild my leg muscle and lose an inch or so around the stomach region. i should be writing music, but i'm not really coming up with anything. i should be doing lots of stuff. instead, i'm doing nothing. i've spent 2 out of the past 4 days playing halo on end and i'll probably wind up doing it again tonight.
oh well. tomorrow is the project 86 / dead poetic concert, so i'm thoroughly excited about all that goodness. now i just have to hope i can score some cash from my parents for that one. if i don't get a job, which it looks like, i'm going to come back up to college station and take 2nd session summer school.
alright, well i'm going to try to get off my ass for once. later.
marc "i thought summer was fun" brubaker
p.s. everybody should go to purevolume.com and check out project 86's stuff...it's awesome.
when every word you ever said came true
all i missed in all of this was you
can you see a shadow on me, calling me to leave? |
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| bored bored bored bored bored bored bored... |
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| 02:49pm 18/05/2004 |
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mood:  excited music: Aqua Teen Hunger Force in the background...
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You're a Speak & Spell!! You nerd, you. Just
because you were disguised as a toy doesn't
mean you weren't educational, you sneaky
bastard.
What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
they shoulda called it speak like the devil!...haha i totally had a speak and spell. it was so awesome. anyways, i'm bored and there's not a whole lot to do here. so i have lapsed into playing adult swim trivia on IRC again.... 101 points in two days...i'm gonna take this biatch over! yes, well as i said there's not a whole lot to do here while my friends are still in school. but i'm going to see ZAO tonight!!!!! i am so freakin excited! alright, that's about it for me right now. later everyone.
marc "so freakin excited" brubaker |
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| i'm home.... |
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| 03:19am 15/05/2004 |
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mood: good music: Blindside - Cute Boring Love
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hey guys and gals...i'm home, and it's fun. alicia's back, so i get to hear all about her amazing semester in europe (i'm so jealous) and people are actually here to hang out with. i didn't get the internship, so i'm in the job hunt now. however, i went out today and it turns out there is a God and he must really like me, because the two places i was thinking about working have possibilities. so, i may be makin some money working for either Hot Topic or World Market this summer, and either one's cool with me bc both have locations in CS now. thus, i could transfer up at the end of the summer. ok, well i have to get up in the morning and vote (how crazy is that) and then stand out in the blistering heat with a sign for two hours, so i'm gonna have lots of fun. right now it's time for bed. goodnight all, i hope you're already sleeping well (you should be by now). i'll post again later.
the impeccable marc brubaker |
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| another quick fun one |
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| 04:29am 10/05/2004 |
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mood: awake music: Training for Utopia - A Gift to a Dying Friend
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god, i'm bored...and i can't sleep....ok, well this is it and i'm going to bed.
| What comes to mind when you hear.. | | ..snow?: | whistler, CA | | ..rain?: | seattle | | ..tornado?: | tornado alley! | | ..summer love?: | grease | | ..Jon?: | arbuckle | | ..Mike?: | vallely | | ..Shea?: | hillenbrand | | ..banana?: | my spoon is too big | | ..dizzy?: | spin cycle | | ..Laura?: | cousin | | ..Juan?: | don juan | | ..car?: | superion! | | ..white?: | and black | | ..peppermint?: | ice cream | | ..New Found Glory?: | no | | ..placebo?: | sugar pill | | ..orange juice?: | vitamin c | | ..candid camera?: | click | | ..sister?: | nonexistent | | ..brother?: | awesome | | ..hate?: | sucks | | ..school?: | sucks | | ..President?: | vote for who | | ..football?: | mud | | ..rap?: | r-r-r-rhyme it up in rap | | ..pop?: | sucks | | ..rock?: | and roll, muthaf*ka | | ..punk?: | i'm so punk! | | ..sex?: | happens later... | | ..death?: | happens later... | | ..baby?: | happens later... | | ..duuude?: | what's mine look like? | | ..the end?: | are you serious? |
The Survey Where You Say The First Word That Comes To Mind. Yay. brought to you by BZOINK!
g'night, b*tches
marc |
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| survey |
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| 04:23am 10/05/2004 |
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mood:  bored music: chapelle show in the background
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| [x] Part 1 -- The Basics [x] | | What's your name? ::: | Marc | | Birthplace ::: | Antwerp, Belgium | | Age ::: | 20 | | Age you act ::: | not sure...like a college kid | | Current location ::: | College Station | | Eye color ::: | Brown | | Hair color ::: | Brown | | Right, lefty or ambidextrous? ::: | Righty | | Zodiac sign? ::: | Aries | | Height? ::: | 6'1" | | [x] Part 2 -- Describe... [x] | | Your heritage/nationality ::: | suburban caucasian... | | Your hair ::: | brown, like i said | | Your fears ::: | scary | | Your perfect room ::: | it's gonna be green/brown and be ultra cool | | What you practically do in a day ::: | honestly, nothing | | [x] Part 3 -- What is/are... [x] | | Words you overuse ::: | right? really, awesome, ridiculous | | Phrases you overuse ::: | that's ridiculous, oh, i love this...this is hilarious | | Your first thought when you wake up ::: | dang, already? | | Your greatest accomplishment ::: | writing my own music... i dunno | | Something you want to do ::: | play some shows | | [x] Part 4 -- This or that [x] | | Pepsi or Coke ::: | coke | | McDonald's or Burger Kings ::: | mickey d's | | Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera ::: | neither | | Chocolate or vanilla ::: | chocolate | | Adidas or Nike ::: | adidas | | Black or white ::: | black | | Bills or Coins ((Think $$$)) ::: | bills | | Burgers or hot dogs ::: | burgers | | Egypt or France ::: | france | | Rock or rap ::: | rock | | [x] Part 5 -- Do you...[x] | | Smoke ::: | no | | Cuss ::: | what the fuck kinda question is this? | | Sing well ::: | in my range | | Sing in the shower ::: | sometimes | | Talk to yourself --a lot-- ::: | yea | | Believe in yourself ::: | yea | | Like taking these longass surveys? ::: | when i'm bored | | Play an instrument ::: | guitar | | Want to go to college? ::: | i am...so yes | | Want to get married? ::: | someday | | Want to have children? ::: | someday | | Think you're a health freak? ::: | no | | Get along with your parents ::: | yes | | Get along with your siblings? ::: | yes | | Think you're popular ::: | no, but not unpopular | | [x] Part 6 -- In the past month have you..[x] | | Gone out of state ::: | no | | Drank alchohal ::: | no | | Smoke ::: | no | | Get high ::: | no | | Done any drugs ::: | no | | Eaten an entire box of oreos ::: | no | | Been on stage ::: | i don't think so | | Gone skinny dipping ::: | no | | Been dumped ::: | no | | Dyed your hair ::: | 2 months ago | | Stolen anything ::: | no | | [x] Part 7 -- Your friends! =D [x] | | Craziest ::: | Sam Brooks | | Loudest ::: | Kristin...or Lindsay | | Most shy ::: | Andi | | Blondest ::: | LouLou | | Smartest ::: | Jarrod | | Kindest ::: | LouLou | | Best personality ::: | Jarrod | | Most talented ::: | Walker | | Best singer ::: | Alicia | | Most ghetto ::: | Jarrod | | Drama Queen ((or King XP)) ::: | Lauren | | Pain in the ass ::: | Adan | | The one you just want to strangle to death ((Homer Simpson style))::: | not sure | | Funniest ::: | Daniel | | Best person for advice ::: | Jarrod | | Dependable ::: | Jarrod | | Trustworthy ::: | Jarrod (after all, he's my accountability partner, so he fits a lot of these) | | Druggie ::: | Adam | | Most likely to end up in jail ::: | shit i don't know | | Person you've known the longest ::: | Adam | | [x] Part 8 -- The Last... [x] | | Last dream ::: | couple weeks ago...dreamed alicia was visiting...weird | | Last nightmare ::: | no clue | | Car ride ::: | drove to jack in the box today | | Last time you cried ::: | not sure | | Last movie seen ::: | part of Event Horizon tonight | | Last movie rented ::: | that I rented? Fight Club | | Last book read ::: | "A Rumour of War" - Phillip Caputo | | Last word said ::: | crap,. i have no clue now | | Last curse word said ::: | fuck | | Last time you laugh ::: | about 5 mins ago | | Last phone call ::: | called my mom for mother's day | | Last CD played ::: | Demon Hunter - "Summer of Darkness" | | Last song you listened to ::: | Twista - Overnight Celebrity | | Last annoyance ::: | trying to figure some of these out | | Last IM ::: | telling Elizabeth goodnight and sweet dreams...i know, gag right? | | Last weird encounter ::: | mickey d's lady asked me if i was getting a mcflurry after jarrod got one... | | Last person you hugged ::: | elizabeth | | Last person you yelled at ::: | not sure | | Last time you wore a skirt ::: | never! | | Last time you've been evil ::: | all the time | | Sarcastic? ::: | never | | Last time you fought with your parents ::: | no idea | | Last time you wished upon a star ::: | no idea | | Played Truth or Dare ::: | like...5th grade...i dunno | | Spent quality time alone ::: | everytime i sleep | | [x] Part 9 -- I swear this is the last one! -- Randomness [x] | | Are you talking to someone on AIM ::: | no, it's 4 AM | | Do you feel lonely ::: | not immediately | | Ever TP'd someone's house ::: | 72 rolls enough? | | How about egging someone's house ::: | nah | | Do you not like dislike not like me? ::: | waht | | Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? ::: | uh, yea | | Yo Momma ::: | is betta than yo momma! | | Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? ::: | yes | | What do you think of George Bush? ::: | eh... | | Any secret fetishes? ::: | yes...they're secret | | Do you like to wear chains? O_o ::: | yea, but not in a bondage kinda way | | How many languages do you speak? ::: | 2 | | Damn.. are your fingers tired? Cause mine sure are! ::: | nope | | Glad this is over? ((Say yes and I'll stalk you =P)) ::: | not really, i'm bored |
Bored? ((Over 100 questions)) brought to you by BZOINK! |
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| quiz time! |
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| 01:24pm 07/05/2004 |
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mood: awake music: The Juliana Theory - To the Tune of 5000 Screaming Children
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hammer put up a quiz, and as you know, it's impossible for me to rewsist these things. enjoy.
marc "i love trivia" brubaker
1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says: "A few of my classmates became counterinsurgency cult-(ists)"
2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. The doorknob to my closet
3: What is the last thing you watched on TV? adult swim last night
4: WITHOUT LOOKING,guess what time it is? 1:30 pm
5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time? 1:26 pm
6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? the air conditioning, and somebody's watching tv in the front room...i think it's MTV
7: When were you last outside? What were you doing? Around 2 am...walking back from Wesley
8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at? checked my hotmail
9: what are you wearing? black boxers, dark blue bulhead jeans, old little league jersey
10: Did you dream last night? What about? probably...i don't remember
11: When did you last laugh? last night, just hanging out
12: What is on the walls of the room you are in? lots and lots of pictures, posters, and magazine pages...mostly music-oriented.
13: Seen anything weird lately? yes...the fire hydrant a block from our apartment exploded last night...that's why water on northgate is messed up, i believe.
14: What do you think of this quiz? it's very original...which means i enjoy it
15: What is the last film you saw? um...half of Gangs of New York last night...i'll watch the rest soon
16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? first?? well i'd have to get a brand new Ford GT... or a restored Cobra. then a big old double-stack amp.
17: Tell me something about you that I don't know: my parents are going to kill me in a week
18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? poverty
19: Do you like to dance? hell yea...sometimes ;)
20: George Bush: no comment
21: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? wow...i haven't really thought about that....just boys
21: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? Joseph, Joel, or Joshua
22: Would you ever consider living abroad? hell yea!! i was born abroad, sucka!
23. A penny for your thoughts. i need to go turn in my english final... |
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| demon hunter rocks!! |
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| 02:43am 07/05/2004 |
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mood:  ecstatic music: Stavesacre - ZZYZX
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so...how's stuff goin for everyone? haha, you don't get to say bc this is my post!!! well, just to let you all know, stuff for me is goin pretty good. i'm sure you care, bc it's finals time and all of you are stressed out, everyone's got crap to do. well i've got a little on my plate 'meself' (i'm watchin gangs of new york at the moment, so you'll have to excuse the irish that slips in) but overall it's pretty good. i managed to write my paper in just over an hour today, and i've read more for my history final which is...(goes to check)... monday at 8 am...and then i have geology tuesday at 8 am. yay for 8 am exams!!! NOT.
but other than the ending of school for the semester and the stress it always brings, life is great. for one, school is ending, which means i won't have to get up for class in the mornings anymore. but i will be missing friends as i go home for the summer, so that's a drawback. sardines started tonight, and i had such an awesome hiding place...took them over half and hour and still not all of them found me.
plus other stuff in life is going good too. :) very good indeed...yes, elizabeth and i are officially 'an item' now, and (bah bah bah bah bah...) i'm lovin it. just hanging out with her on the couch is awesome. ok, well i won't gag you with details or anything like that...i need to go to bed anyway. later.
oh, and for anyone who doesn't already know, i got my ears pierced.
marc "damn i look good" brubaker
have mercy on me
have mercy on me
for every thorn
i've driven in - Demon Hunter "Coffin Builder" |
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| being sick sucks.... |
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| 02:05am 03/05/2004 |
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mood:  groggy music: Demon Hunter - The Latest and the Last
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i am victorious!!! i finally finished this stupid freakin english paper, the review of three books (of great poetry), and now i can relax. oh wait, no i can't, bc of all the other crap that i have to do now...like my english final which is due friday at nine, my history quiz monday morning, reading books for history, studying for my two cumulative finals in history and geology, and being frickin sick!!! SOMEHOW i caught a freakin bug, when i woke up this morning my throat was scratchy and sore...and it hasn't stopped. add to that the most searing headache i have had in a while and you get an oh so wonderful experience! plus my nose isn't agreeing with me. arg, there is so much sh*t goin on this week. but at least there is some good to be found, as tuesday is the last day of classes, and that's when the new DEMON HUNTER cd comes out....man i cannot wait. oh, and monday nancy and i are going to World Market, which is apparently already open. so i'm gonna have fun spending money this week. plus, i'm pretty sure i'll get a haircut somewhere in there (sweetness...i'll look even hotter). holy crap...well at least i get to have some fun somewhere. that's about it for now. stop talking about me.
marc "laziness induldged here" brubaker
I wish you would say you hate me
it would make it so much easier
- ZAO, '5 Year Winter' |
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| almost forgot... |
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| 03:15am 29/04/2004 |
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mood:  moody music: Requiem For A Dream Soundtrack....still
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and to top everything off, i had a dream about alicia last night. really wierd, i haven't had a dream about her in months, not to mention been able to remember a dream at all recently. but it was wierd, and i dunno what to make out of it. it was like...she came and visited here or something, and we were sitting on the couch together, talking. and i knew that there was no way she could really be here, she's still in europe and everything, and doesn't get back till the 10th. but it really felt like she was back for some strange reason. and all of a sudden, i really really missed her, and being with her. this, however, does not do anything at all to help my lady situation. aw, shit, here i go saying more than needs to be said. oh well, i never was smart about crap like this anyway.
i swear, when it comes to dealing with girls, i'm dumb as a rock... maybe not really, but it sure as hell feels like it sometimes.
.:m:.:a:.:r:.:c:. |
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| tis time for an update |
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| 02:55am 29/04/2004 |
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mood: blah music: Requiem For A Dream Soundtrack
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well, lotsa crap has been goin on lately. i managed to make it through my tests alive so far, just a little bit longer to go in this semester. but i still have to write my poetry review, and i've got a lot left on my plate. in addition, i still have no clue whatsoever as to the situation on the internship. and it's starting to drive me nuts. it's not fun being unsure of your summer situation with it only a few weeks away. NOT FREAKIN COOL!!! ugh. but i got another job opportunity that i'm applying for too, so that might work out. really though, i want to work with jim.
let's see, other stuff that's going on... well, life is interesting. specifically the past few days have been interesting. i found out that i made it into the aggieland this year somehow... like a picture of me at the 2nd javashock...kinda wierd. ooooh, and speaking of pictures, my mom made these awesome prints of me from spring break...remind me and i'll show em to you. they look like awesome neat headshots. i look like such a hottie. speakin of being a hottie, i've decided that i AM going to work out this summer, no matter how hard it takes, i will have washboard abs...and i will be freakin irresistable. even the girls that i bug the crap out of will have to be beaten off with a stick. add that to my amazing charm and sense of how to treat a lady, and i'll be the ladykiller. hahhahaha...
and the ladies situation as it stands now....does not need to be discussed in detail. just know that it's f***ing with my head as usual. and that i don't particularly care for that. grrrrrrrrrrrr. women...can't live without em, sure as heck don't know what to do with em (which seems like a direct contradiction of my statement in the previous paragraph, but it's not....if only you knew the entire story). oh well...stuff happens, and that's how life is. meanwhile, i'm still gonna keep up my attempts at forsaking the ladies for jesus, bc that's how it should be.
ok, well i'm gonna go to bed....i get to sleep in tomorrow morning. yay for no class!!!
peace out you mothers!!!!
m to the izzay, r to the cizzay
someday, i believe we will see world peace...
and then somebody will start shit just for the hell of it, to f**k with everyone |
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| one more.... |
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| 06:24pm 23/04/2004 |
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mood:  bouncy music: Embodyment - A Season's End
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music!!! yay.
| [[Music Preferences]] | | Favorite genre::: | ROCK | | Favorite band out of that genre::: | Project 86 | | Least favorite genre::: | Country | | Most hated band::: | Good Charlotte (damn MTV owned muthas) | | Favorite song of all time::: | LED ZEPPELIN - The Immigrant Song | | Least favorite song of all time::: | most country songs | | [[Do you like..(relating to music) ]] | | Your mom's music?::: | not particularly | | Your dad's music?::: | most of it | | Your grandparents' music?::: | eh.. | | Dancing to music?::: | depends on what kind it is | | Singing to music?::: | yes | | Writing music?::: | yes | | Playing music?(instrument wise)::: | yes (guitar) | | [[Musical Letters]] | | :The first thing musically that comes to mind that begins with the letter: | | A::: | Anberlin | | B::: | Blindside | | C::: | Chevelle | | D::: | Demon Hunter | | E::: | Embodyment | | F::: | frets | | G::: | I broke my G-string (joke never gets old | | H::: | harmony | | I::: | i play this part, you play that part | | J::: | jump around! jump around! | | K::: | killswitch engage | | L::: | Led Zeppelin | | M::: | MeWithoutYou | | N::: | Norma Jean | | O::: | Outkast | | P::: | Project 86 | | Q::: | Queen | | R::: | Relient K | | S::: | Stavesacre | | T::: | The Evan Anthem | | U::: | Underoath | | V::: | gibson flying v - crappy guitar in my opinion | | W::: | Watashi Wa | | X::: | hardcore | | Y::: | Yoko Ono = bitch | | Z::: | ZAO | | [[Songs for thought?]] | | :Match up the emotion, with a song that comes to mind: | | Anxious::: | "For the Moments I Feel Faint" - Relient K | | Depressed::: | "Forty-Hour Increments" - Twothirtyeight | | Hopeful::: | "New Medicines" - Dead Poetic | | Remorseful::: | "5 Year Winter" - ZAO | | Sincere::: | "Comfortable Liar" - Chevelle | | Confused::: | "Identity Crisis" - Pigeon John | | Content::: | "She Will Be Loved" - Maroon 5 | | Confident::: | "The Great Golden Gate Disaster" - Project 86 | | Insecure::: | "Aimless Endeavor" - Beloved | | [[Songs to reflect your soul.. or er...life ;-) ]] | | :Put that song that best describes the given part: | | Your Love Life::: | "5 Year Winter" - ZAO | | Your Family Life::: | "I'll See You" - PAX 217 | | When your alone::: | "F-Stop Blues" - Jack Johnson | | With Someone::: | "Are You Gonna Be My Girl?" - Jet | | Lying in bed::: | "Nobody's Listening" - Linkin Park | | Outside in the fresh air::: | "The Moon Is Down" - Further Seems Forever | | At school::: | "She's There" - Embodyment |
Music Relations brought to you by BZOINK!
m.a.r.c. |
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| a little survey to tide you over |
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| 05:50pm 23/04/2004 |
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mood: listless music: Project 86 - The Great Golden Gate Disaster
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| Abortion?: | pro life | | Death Penalty?: | life not death | | Prostitution?: | wrong | | Alcohol?: | go ahead, you're just making yourself dumber | | Marijuana?: | probably wrong | | Other drugs?: | again, wrong | | Gay marriage?: | civil union | | Illegal immigrants?: | restrictions should be enforced | | Smoking?: | bad for you | | Drunk driving?: | HORRIBLE!! never do it | | Cloning?: | no thank you | | Racism?: | what? are you retarded? | | Premarital sex?: | keep it in your pants | | Religion?: | i'm for it | | The war in Iraq?: | not a big fan but some things have to happen sometime | | Bush?: | overall i like him | | Downloading music?: | what?? get the f**k over it. | | The legal drinking age?: | 21 is fine with me | | Porn?: | no | | Suicide?: | don't |
What is your stand on..... brought to you by BZOINK!
m.a.r.c |
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| .letters. |
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| 06:24am 20/04/2004 |
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mood:  weird music: Fear Before... - On the Brightside, She Could Choke
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well, it's 6:23 in the morning, i can't sleep a wink at all, and i'm bored. so i have decided to write personal letters to various areas of my life...and random things i see.
dear sleep,
i've heard you're really cool. i missed you today.
with a tear,
jarrod.
dear accounting,
you, i do not like at all.
with no feeling,
jarrod.
dear management test,
i will conquer you. like a lion kills it's prey, i will conquer you.
confident,
JARROD.
dear weekend,
you are going to be fun.
and you will be pleased.
anxious,
jjjarrrroooodd.
dear rap music,
you make mah life krunk. keep da beats bangin'.
yurr 9-5 plus fo' pennies,
j-skrizzle.
dear england,
i miss you. do you miss me?
come back to me.
longing,
jar'rod.
dear apartment,
i don't like you the way you are.
we need to change you.
displeased,
jarrod.
dear desk,
you are too unorganized and disheveled.
i will fix you.
your maker,
jarrod.
dear new 'fear before the march of flames' cd,
you make my ears happy.
a fan,
jarrod.
dear stapler,
you could hurt me.
please don't.
fearful,
j-rod.
dear monday crossword puzzle,
you are finished. now, ascend into heaven.
waving goodbye,
J--R-D.
dear brain,
where are you?
when did i lose you?
have you gone on vacation?
are you gone for good?
wherever you are, come back.
i need you now more than ever.
losing all hope,
j-a-r-r-o-d.
dear reader,
you are the reason i do this.
never stop reading.
never.
ever.
not ever.
never.
no.
thank you,
J. |
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| .not another one. |
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| 01:30am 20/04/2004 |
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mood:  busy music: Fear Before The March Of Flames - Given To Dreams
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so, i seriously cannot seem to shake these weeks of hell off my back. after finally getting through last week, i have this week to get through. it's not quite as bad though. i only have to read 3 rather long and boring chapters for management, study old accounting exams to take at most 2 make-ups on thursday, management test on friday, plus a plethora of linear algebra and stat homework that needs to be done. plus, i register on wednesday for classes that probably won't be open cuz there's only one section available for each one. it's ok...i got through last week, i can get through this one too. these weeks just get old. like tonight, i went to 4.0 and go again to get an accounting project done that's due tomorrow which meant i didn't get to see jennifer again. and even if i do get to see her almost everyday, days like today, when i don't get to see her, just aren't as enjoyable. it's all good though because our 'date-auction date' is this weekend in houston, so much fun and delight will be had on that day. aaaannndd we've only got two more actual weeks of class before dead week so whoop for that. so, overall there's alot of good meshed within all the crappy classes, homework, and exams that keep getting stuffed in my week. so i imagine, as i've said before and still hold to, everything will be fine. well i guess that's about it for me for now for being me at the moment. i could say more but my bed is kinda lonely so i am needed elsewhere. more to come...dun...dun....dun
silly rabbit.
*wink*
![.=.]mJyA_RnRaOmDe[.=.]! |
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| my ears are ringing, my heart is singing... |
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| 12:20am 19/04/2004 |
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mood:  enthralled music: Blindside - About a Burning Fire
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WOW!!!!! i just got back from seeing blindside tonight, and it was amazing. who cares about the other bands, they alone were worth the money i spent. one of the best live shows i have ever seen! they squeezed 13 songs into just over an hour, and went absolutely nuts onstage. yay for mosh pits! yay for swedish christian metal! yay for awesomeness!
other than that, i spent most of the weekend holed up studying and doing work for the next week of HELL! it's coming this way, and it's not gonna be pretty at all. but after thursday, stuff will quiet down again, and all will be alright. so i have to get stuff done this week. in other words, DON'T BUG ME! and if you see me not studying, ask me if i need to...the answer is most likely yes, and i'll thank you for it.
in the jesus realm of things, life is goin good. no girls, no distractions, just God being good to me and me trying to soak it in as much as possible. ok, so there are still distractions and everything's not perfect, but it's nice and relaxed bc i know that HE will take care of me and smooth out everything on the road of life. i love knowing that He is watching over me and having assurance in Christ. ooh, and tonight was so awesome bc the last song blindside played was 'about a burning fire' and at the end right before going back to the chorus, christian said "let's just give our hearts back to God tonight" and i realized how much i have been holding onto everything and i need to turn it all over to Him. mmm...i love Jesus.
- marc 'can i get an amen' brubaker
i thought about a burning fire
i thought about your loving fire
i thought about your love
i thought about your love |
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| .a better thought. |
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| 12:45am 16/04/2004 |
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mood:  content music: The Hurt Process - This Piece
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i'm sorry for that last post. well, not really cuz i kinda needed that vent. but i had a thought come to me last night while i was studying and i fell asleep before i could post it. and, after writing that last one, i started thinking and it came back to me and kinda connected itself. but, i was just thinking how unbelievably, insanely, and utterly lucky i am. no matter how many things i find wrong with myself, i still have an amazing life with more than i could have ever wanted. i have so much "stuff" it's not even funny. a closet full of clothes i barely wear. mounds and mounds of cds. technology out the wazzoo that isn't exactly necessary. just alot of embellishments for my life. i have such a great family who is more than willing to get me all that stuff. i have the love of two parents and a handful of other family who would do anything for me. i have amazing friends who keep me sane and who teach me, guide me, and make me laugh. they are people i can really turn to whenever i'm finding all my imperfections. they are friends who can do more than i would ever ask. i have an amazing girlfriend who i don't necessarily deserve and who, no matter what mood i'm in, whenever i think of her or catch a glimpse of her, all i can do is smile. and after just 2+ months, she gives me something i can connect to while i feel lost in my own life. and i know i said at the start of this that i felt lucky. but now that i think of it, it's definately not luck. i believe that God has just blessed me. in fact, He's given me so much more than i could ever finish being thankful for. i could stop my life now and do nothing but be thankful for the things He's given me so far for the rest of eternity. and everything i have: stuff, a family, friends, girlfriend, etc - i do not deserve one fraction of one part of this. i have done absolutely nothing in my life that deserves the treasures and blessings i have received. and even though i don't deserve them, and i complain, overthink, plan, hold back, and worry about my life, God continues to bless me with stuff and people and such. God keeps these things in my life for my benefit and comfort when i can't understand what people see in me or when i feel lost and i can't find purpose or meaning. and for everything i have, i cannot thank my God enough.
ok, i feel better.
-Jarrod |
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| .i don't know. |
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| 11:47pm 15/04/2004 |
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mood:  discontent
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i'm in a weird mood right now. i'm not really pissed off or depressed. i'm just....i don't even know. i guess i'm the reason i'm in this mood. i'm actually not at all happy with myself at the moment. mainly cuz of this week. i haven't tried at anything cuz i half-ass my life so often. so therefore, i didn't study as much as i should have. and now, i get to disappear when finals get here, which i hate doing cuz i dislike not seeing people. and then, tonight i was supposed to go to 4.0 and go to do my accounting project so i wouldnt have to go next week. and, since i slept until 8, i missed it and now i have to miss worship on sunday to go get it done. which is just in keeping in the theme of my life and the cycle of things i continue to perpetuate. i'm not thinking to highly of myself as of late. it's been like constantly looking into a mirror only to see everything i dislike about myself staring back at me. i constantly make excuses for my faults. i overthink everything. i can't do the simplest thing without complicating it immensely. i complain about everything. i don't ever act with my heart. i hold back so many things. i can't just open up to people. i have no courage. i plan out everything. i rarely follow through with my intentions or plans. i get so obsessive about things. i'm lazy beyond all reason. i blow things in my mind out of proportion which leads to my constant worrying. nothing is ever good enough for me. but things always have to be perfect, and if they're not, i get flustered. and so on and so on. i could think of more but you get the point. i don't know why all these things are coming to my attention all of a sudden. i know they're not true and they're all bull sh*t accusations against myself. but even so, they're not totally devoid of truth. i just hate the fact the i am my own worst enemy. cliche phrase, i know but everything i've ever ruined in my life has been thanks to myself. i constantly deceive myself into thinking things and then acting on empty thoughts and emotions. thinking i can't achieve goals, so i just give up. deceiving myself into worrying, and then opening my fat mouth. forget it...i don't even know what i'm rambling about now. i shouldn't even post this. oh well....i promise something better later.
Jarrod |
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| it's late, i'm tired, you suck, you're fired |
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| 02:46am 14/04/2004 |
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mood: lethargic music: Blindside - Across Waters Again
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well, today i slept through my poetry class, went to shakespeare and talked with a cute girl, and made it through my lab today in 2 hours and 20 minutes (which HE TOLD US would take half an hour...bastard). not cool. this resulted in me not doing any hw at all today, which is horrible. really bad thing.
in other news...girls suck. they drive me crazy, and my hormones can't take it! so i have sworn off women for the time being. god has revealed to me that i in no way need a gf at the moment (although i certainly wouldn't mind one). too much stuff going on, and i don't need another distraction. you girls are distracting enough anyway!!! sheesh. so i shall resist the devil and he shall flee from me and i will overcome the temptation to drop down on one knee, sing "you've lost that lovin feeling" while 4 friends of mine sing backup, and sweetly kiss some girl's hand while i ask for a date. good grief...
it's official...i'm a concert freak....going to two this month and probably two next month...went to two last month. man, i love music.
to add to the randomness of my post tonight, we shall begin the semifinals of the PIMP NAME TOURNAMENT. you know the drill, pick the one you like best out of the group given...vote for both groups...hopefully there'll be a decision by the end of the week.
group a
Crazy Eyes M. Flash
Ghetto Fabulous Brubaker Dogg
group b
Master Pimp Marc Flex
Sugartastic M. Flex
i know i know, it's a tough decision. but you can do it. and while you're wasting time here, go take my new quiz.
My Challenge... TO THE EXTREME!!!. you might think you know me...but do you really know me? if you get them all right, i'll uh, get you something...maybe.
so that's it, the most productive thing i've done all day.
marc "will slack off for money" brubaker |
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| i used to live...now i die |
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| 01:26am 13/04/2004 |
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mood: bouncy music: ZAO - At Zero
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"Dying
is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well."
- Sylvia Plath
one day at a time, it's all downhill from here...sure there are slight perks, like i can order a drink next year, in 5 my car insurance goes down, and in 45 i get sr. citizen's discounts....but let's face it folks. as of this day, i am officially dying, one day at a time, in a sylvia plath sort of way. however, i must say that i had a very fun birthday, starting with a history quiz that i knew practically nothing on and a geology class that i didn't pay attention to (do i ever?). then i went to wesley at about 11:30 (AM) and hung out there until about 12:30 (AM)...basically for a solid 13 hours. there were three small excursions that left me exposed and unsheltered from the outside world...all were forays for food. i picked up my lunch from NY sub, went to Fitzwilly's for a birthday dinner (which LouLou and Adan paid for, so nice) and last but certainly not least, to shake's for ice cream (which jenn paid for...soo nice). jenn, by the way, recommended that i get a cappucino concrete, and since she's the owner of a fine set of taste, i decided it would be a good decision to trust her judgement. HOLY FREAKIN CRAP!!!!!! i nearly peed my pants out of the shock of the deliciousness of the frozen treat resting within my hand.....it was THAT good. go, get one. NOW! well, soon. big props to jenn on that one.
oohh...people should go sign up at www.nationstates.net and play along with the rest of us wesley losers...make sure you join our region too. my country is 'the borderlands of the burial grounds" following the name of my website. which, by the way, has been updated www.theburialgrounds.tk.
and as if that's not enough links for you to handle, here's one more....i wish i could be like this guy. so freakin tight.
my ZAO cd is so yummy...and my dead poetic cd is coming in the mail this week. oh, and being the crazy concert nut that i am, i'm going to see blindside this sunday in huntsville (14 bucks) and stavesacre on the 25th in houston (5 bucks, let me know). holy crap...so freakin awesome.
OOOOOOOOOOH!!! everybody and their grandma needs to come watch me (and other cool people) perform at the third JAVASHOCK competition here at A&M. it's friday the 23rd at the Romei Arts Center (by wolf pen, i can get you directions) at 8 pm, but if you want a chair get there early...or bringing your own fold out would work too. but it's gonna rock, and i'm gonna win *crosses fingers* bc i have some really awesome poetry worked up for it. just ask jenn.
i love being me, even though i'm twenty. oh, and just to let you know...my piercing rocks the hizzouse!
may the grace and peace of the back of my hand not push you out the door too hard...
marc "in such a goofy mood right now" brubaker |
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