Blurty for Violet.

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Saturday, August 21st, 2004

Subject:Until There's A Cure...
Time:11:36 pm.

I want these. They are so beautiful.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:And so I Fall!!
Time:6:03 pm.
Mood:determined to be myself.
I close my eyes
Thought I was lost but I was stranded
I go outside
To my surprise the sky had landed
I thought it made more sense
If I could only keep you guessing
I was a fool to think that I should stop you from undressing
Now I'm believing all the words you say
That I can't say back to you

I kiss your neck
I feel you breathing on my shoulder
Still I'm perfect
It must be you cause now it's over
I was so close
That was the most that I have ever been through
Now old cassettes and cigarettes
Will be the ones to save you
How can you ask for me to stay
When all you ever do is go?
Just go

Go on
You've kept me waiting
Go on
And watch me as I fall

I don't wanna feel this small
You know I just can't handle this
Handle this at all
And so I'll fall
I'll let my heartbeat drop
I falter as the music stops
And you watch me as stall
And wonder when I...

Fall - Something Corporate.

I want to scream this song at the ocean and never come back from where I felt that sense of belonging, there by the shore.

I hate this familiar sinking feeling.
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Tuesday, August 17th, 2004

Subject:Loneliness is expected if not predicted...
Time:9:36 pm.
Mood: exhausted.
Music:cosmopolitains - erin mckeown.
I want to mesmerize someone...don't you?
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Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004

Time:8:08 pm.
You* were in my dream last night. We were getting ready for prom at my house and then some kid stole my cell phone so i had to chase him down the street and then it started raining really hard and all these goth couples came out of no where, and gates covered in silk roses were laying out in the street and then we were getting ready for prom at your house and you had like 6 "brothers" but we knew that they weren't your brothers....and then we ripped off the bottom part of our dresses and we streaked in your house......

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Monday, August 2nd, 2004

Subject:yea, I know I'm no good...
Time:10:31 am.
Mood: curious.
Music:You make me want to la la!.
Thanks for reminding me that my laugh is annoying. Appreciate it. Thanks.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, July 22nd, 2004

Subject:Why am I in love with the thought of you?
Time:10:54 pm.
I hate how your stares are the best compliment I've ever received...

I hate not being over you...
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Wednesday, July 21st, 2004

Subject:I have no solution to sound of this pollution in me
Time:12:08 am.
I desperately want to fall into your deep end.


I want to fall into someone. A good someone, to waste my nights with, to waste a tank of gas with, to waste away with under the smoggy sky.
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Friday, July 16th, 2004

Subject:A thousand other boys could never reach you
Time:10:13 pm.
Music:hushed 'here is gone'.
I sat in the dark, sinking in my seat. Everything flickers in front of me...The smiles, laughs, and secrets we shared. The sparkle in your eyes. The curve in your grin. The creases in your palms. The sand in your shoes. How perfect this movie would be for all of us to watch together? If only we could overcome each other. If only we could overcome ourselves. If only our pride would step aside. We could sit together, for one last time and then maybe, just maybe we could find each other again, in that same dark room, and come to understand where we cross and flow together. Providing ground for the fact remaining that we never really broke apart.


To be completely honest, I miss them. I really really miss them. I miss sitting in the swings and talking our dreams to the sky and back. Running around the park until we felt to heavy in our centers to run anymore. The cakes we made. School made turned our friendship into something to ugly but summer has the ablity to make it amazing and beautiful.

If only the fates would allow...
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Tuesday, July 13th, 2004

Time:7:16 pm.
Mood: distressed.
Yea, I know. I don't update enough. so i suck. haha

oh well.

I've been a bit busy...not really, more like lazy.

my spelling in the last entry was just plain awful!! I'm so sorry for it.

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Saturday, July 10th, 2004

Subject:This place has lost its charm
Time:12:16 am.
Mood: sleepy.
I'm so incredibully bored with summer right now. It doesn't help that all THREE of my friends are either out of town or out of reach.

Anyways, I finally saw HP and the Prisnor of Azacaban today. It was wonderful. Once again, I'm dying to be a witch and be crafty with powers, wizard's blood, and a turbulent past.

I'm in comeplete love with Harry and Ron. More Harry than Ron...My crush on Harry is a bit out of control. I only know that because in the fourth book, when he starts farting about with that Cho girl, I had nothing but jealousy boiling in me. When you begin to feel competation with a book character for 'date'...It's a sign to put the book down and go for some fresh air.

I'm pathetic.
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Saturday, July 3rd, 2004

Subject:Hey sweethearts...
Time:1:32 pm.
Mood:shower time!!.
Music:fine enough to blow your mind....
Slowly getting ready for the 'social' tonight...

So tired of these people...the good ones aren't even coming tonight...

I need to stop listening to Britney Spears...and thinking that my parents would let me go dancing with friends...


The movieParadise Lost has been on my mind all day. It won't leave me alone.
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Wednesday, June 30th, 2004

Subject:I grow so sick...
Time:11:20 pm.
Mood: flirty.
Music:when I move, you move.
Summer just begun and it's almost over. My time is already so reserved over the next two months, so much that I'm worried about completing all my AP assignments. Fuck summer homework...Fuck AP Art...What was I thinking?
I so desperately want to ask them if they honestly think that we will be friends again.

I mean, if they haven't called yet, why would they call now...?

To be COMPLETELY honest on my part, I wouldn't really want them in my house again. They're not my people anymore...One is in her own sheltered world where certain things don't belong; another brings herself to the table each week with a new confession of self mutilation or substance abuse; and the last, is a self proclaimed 'emotional detached' individual, and surprisingly enough, she's a big fat, pants on fire liar too.

Why should I deal with that when these very people will not, for the most part, deal with me, on the level that I want to be dealt?

I grow so sick of this fantasy world filled with poker faces and misleading white lies...

If only I could find my life to be as intoxicating, as it was when I was with them...then maybe this would be easier.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, May 11th, 2004

Subject:Now It's So Very Ugly.
Time:8:56 am.
I tried really hard not to cry today while talking to her, but I just couldn't stop myself. I've never felt so fucking pathetic in my life. I'm begging for my friends to take me back over a misunderstanding that got completely out of hand. But these people don't entirely want me near them because everything settled into something that it wasn't in the first place. I'm not so much pissed about everything as I am, sad, hostile, and frustrated about it because there is nothing I can do to fix it and no one really wants or knows how to fix it either. And I understand and I see it too as not working out at all, in the sense that we become friends again, and maybe it would be better for your sanity and mine, if I didn't try so hard to 'resolve' it with those who don't care or 'don't know', So I won't be asking myself, 'Why is she acting like this doesn't matter to her? Is the loss of a friendship really that worthless now?'

Sorry to those involved if this reaching and begging goes on for a little longer, but When was the last time you ate lunch by yourself? Don't try a tell me I'm choosing to be alone, Do you go where you're not wanted?

I didn't think so.

For now I'm just morning and dealing with all the tear inducing thoughts, frustrating shivers, and having generally no one to touch or talk to for the past two weeks and the weeks to come.

Thank God school is almost over. Only about a month or so and then summer. That will probably be lonely too, but it might be better. And Senior year, I get to come back to school with the social network of newbie and try and create some solid foundation with other people. Not likely, but I don't know.
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Sunday, May 9th, 2004

Time:10:17 am.
Mood: calm.
I have icons!



i have new music!

THE INVASION suc-sexy! So suc-sexy!
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Wednesday, May 5th, 2004

Subject:you know you want toooooooooooooo!
Time:9:15 am.
Post a memory of me in the comments. It can be anything you want. Then post this to your journal and see what people remember of you.

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Blurty for Violet.

View:User Info.
You're looking at the latest 15 entries.