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[11 Aug 2006|07:43am] |
If this airport bullshit keeps up, I am NOT going to Iowa.
Not because Im scared of terrorism, but because Im terrified of taking a 9 hour flight without my laptop, Ipod, and I cant even bring a fucking 40 to put me to sleep for the flight?!
Thats it! Ill just get trashed before the flight.
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| Oh and by the way |
[10 Aug 2006|11:54pm] |
Brandy is also...
so freaking cute!
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| Brandy is... |
[10 Aug 2006|11:30pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Get Gone" Fiona Apple |
] |
forcing herself to consider the unthinkable--delegating tasks to her board
procrastinating
surprised that she misses New Orleans
tired
pleasently assured =)
looking forward to Cal football and all that it means--bbqs, Rose Bowl (knock on wood), and billigerance
happy that she is going to be back to 1.5 jobs (as opposed to 3.5) at the end of August
super duper excited about the semester starting
anticipating being a big fat douchebag!
a hypochondriac
trying, but is she improving?
hungry, but not sure why
walking the fine, fine line
not sure how to write an opinion article anymore. Furthermore, she is distressed at this because she has one due in...oh...13 minutes
not going to listen to Cursive anymore...ever...
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[07 Aug 2006|04:42pm] |
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Fucking townies...
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[06 Aug 2006|11:22pm] |
Despite my many, many, many misadventures with (straight) men, the best things ever said to me have been straight (pun alert!) from the mouth of gay men.
"I have to give you your bra and skirt back. I still have them at my house."
"I dont think I can talk to you for a while. Dont call me until I call you."
and most recently...
"i love it when you get all drippy and flowy with sweattttt and woman juices"
Bottom line, my life is completely out-of-whack.
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| Power Jews |
[05 Aug 2006|01:54pm] |
How wrong is it that I have a big fat crush on this man.
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| Throwing Up New Orleans |
[16 Jul 2006|02:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Unsettled |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Kermit Ruffins and the Rebirth Brass Band |
] |
I cant believe all of the things I had to witness while I was in New Orleans. I am in sad in a million different ways and I think that it will be hard work to become optimistic again.
When I told Lisa that our time in New Orleans was an exercise in positivity, she told me that she was so thankful that I was always cheery and positive. Then she told me, Gene, and Greg that we were the most balanced of the group.
I was proud that she would acknowledge my ability to stay upbeat. It is one of the things that I work hard at in life.
It also made me think about coping. Hillary and I were joking about the different ways everyone in our group was coping. Some people become more religious, some withdraw, and we joked that we drink. We did drink, but that was more becuase of the heat and the fact that we were in New Orleans, where they have daquiris to go!
I definitely internalize my sadness while projecting a better.
Poor John. He was the dump for all of my issues. At the end of the day, I would unload everything sad and hurtful and upsetting onto him. Im thankful for the times he listened and commiserated and even got angry and yelled along with me. I also regret expecting him to take on so much and to understand it, when I didnt even really understand it...and I was there.
I faired better than other people. There was fainting and fighting and people who disappeared for hours. And there was A LOT of crying.
I only cried once in New Orleans. The second night, after visiting the FEMA trailers in the 9th Ward, I lost it alone in my room for about 15 minutes. Then I washed my face and met everyone for dinner where I gave Gene shit about what he was eating.
Thats just how I work.
All that said, New Orleans is a beautiful city with rich culture, terribly good food, amazing music, and the most beautiful people that I have ever ever met. I hope to go back...soon, God willing...without the stress of the Voices project, with people I love who I know will also connect to NOLA, and...finally...with working technology.
:) SHINE ON :)
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| "These are times that cant be weathered and..." |
[30 Jun 2006|09:46pm] |
We did a writing exercise in our last New Orleans prep meeting. We were given a list of 10 proverbs and 10 random words and had to write a 10-15 line poem using one of the proverbs and 4 of the words.
Mine turned out moderately well given the 10 minute time limit. It garnered an "oh" at the end. Yea, Im obsessed with the whole poetic turn strategy (that isnt so much a strategy, but a requirement of poetry).
Regardless, I realized that my mom is a definite character in my poems. First of all she is always, always referred to as "Momma," which is odd becuase I dont even call her that. Its odd that she is this Momma character. Its hard to explain, but basically in my poems, my Mom is the example of feminity.
She is definitely not the girliest girl, but when I write her she is always symbolic of the feminine because her actions always personify love, nurturing, and support. These are very feminine qualities to me (sorry, men).
Example... (from "Before God Made Me")
My mother’s hands traced my back
wrote love poems into my bones
taught me poetry as love soaked in
my skin
I write with her hands
my grandmother’s mouth
my family’s time
There's more to my theory, but Im about to head out and Im not in a very smart mood, so...yea.
And...my poem...just for example...
Birds of a feather
fly from hand
lay eggs together
and one flocks
to two in a bush
Momma's voice chirping chicken
based wisdom
wrapping my stress
into a nest of proverbs
as if crows have worries
beyond pecking blackberries
and when doves escape to clouds
all Momma's tips
are for the birds
When I read it to the group, Matt suggested I add the canary in a mine image since I went with bird-related proverbs. I like that idea, but Im not sure how to work it in.
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| Kristine On "Jacob and Sons" |
[20 Jun 2006|10:31pm] |
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"And even as an eight-year-old who loved musicals, I was like 'Thats pretty gay!'"
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| Blogging for my Life: Day 1 |
[17 Jun 2006|08:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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Acidic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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COPS! |
] |
So, I thought that the anti-allergy medication was giving me a rash. Nope, that would be an inflamation of my incurable hypochondria. The rash is gone and today my allergies acted up only a few times, but were nothing more than a little nasal discomfort either time.
It looks as though the reign of the red eyes and runny nose has ended!
Thank you generic Longs brand medicine!
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| And I cried |
[07 Jun 2006|05:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 exhausted |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Love is Waiting" Kylie Minogue <--The REAL Queen of Queens! |
] |
I just finished my latest book and I wish I didnt love literature as much as I do. I wish that the burden of the written word was something that I didnt have to live with.
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| Rejected Facebook Alerts |
[06 Jun 2006|10:31pm] |
Brandy is...
tired of 'tarded people who make 14 hour days even longer through their sheer 'tardedness such as (but not limited to) asking dumb questions when everyone has a checklist of what to do and how (ohemgee people seriously?!?!?!)
assured of her competence
hella popular with the gays
missing her booface
outraged someone would badmouth her SCME kidlettes, who are her babies
excited to hear election returns
wishing that this election had used electronic voting (so those returns would come faster)
chatting with Jeremy and enjoying the pleasantness and the laughter at shitty websites
a facebook whore
loving her long days of work (and anticipating loving her paycheck)
excited, scared, intimidated, and a million other adjectives about her New Orleans preparation
reading...tons
a sudoku master
wanting to go to the gym with her new unabashedly pop playlist
in desparate need of clean laundry
over Jerry Brown :(
amazed that, out of 1000 voters, 12 came in to vote
done Blutry-ing and ready to read!!!!!
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| 5 Random Things Floating Around My Head |
[28 May 2006|12:12am] |
1. I talk big. I dont always come through, though.
2. Top three elements featured in facebook pictures: (1) Emo, face-obscuring angle, (2) a cute animal, and (3) alcohol
3. I wish my tv could keep me company and dint freak out like it tends to do, severly limiting my viewing time (to about 2 minutes at a time with 30 second breaks between).
4. Im scared of the near future for really silly, but really plausible reasons.
5. "Drunk Kid Catholic" by Bright Eyes lyrics
*Bonus* I get bored easily.
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| Quote Unquote |
[14 May 2006|06:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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Right |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Kristine, where is the "High School Musical" action? |
] |
I feel simulateously validated and indignant.
Evidently, there is a right in this situation and I, sucka, am the one thats right.
So, why cant I end with a big ole GO ME?
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| Someone was told me his favorite poet was Paul Celan and I thought, "Why?" And now I know. |
[14 May 2006|11:23am] |
| [ |
mood |
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Amazed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Audio of "Todesfuge"...in fucking German! |
] |
I read Paul Celan's "Todesfuge" (in translation from the original German, of course) many years ago. Needless to say, I had no idea what the fuck it was about. And I thought it was cool (literally...that was the extent of my ability to anazlyze literature critically at the time), but it was confusing, so it turned me off from reading his other work.
Something compelled me visit on of the best websites ever and something further compelled me to a specific page on this site: http://www.nortonpoets.com/ex/celanp.htm#todes (too lazy to make the link nice, so live with it) and ohemgee why would I do this to myself?
First of all, Paul Celan is amazing. Thats it. Its discouraging. Im working on my half ass personal essay in haibun/prose poem form, attempting to grow and improve as a writer...but, uh, lets face it...I will never be in a league like that.
Secondly...I am all kinds of depressed now. Thank you, Paul Celan, for making ugliness beautiful and death lively. Thank you for ruining this gorgeous day with your awful yet amazing poetry.
You rock...and you suck...
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| In both good and bad ways |
[08 May 2006|10:52am] |
| [ |
mood |
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Yea! Yea! Yea! |
] |
| [ |
music |
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ITunes shall be the death of me |
] |
My life is driving me insane.
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| P4P isnt a total waste of time... |
[17 Apr 2006|11:48am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Gone" Kanye West |
] |
"YESTERDAY'S POEM" by Suheir Hammad (excerpts)
i did not write
a poem
i read
some and
took a bath
in lavender and
salted water
i did not write
a poem
my words
were forced
and ugly
i wanted to read
and to make love
yesterday i
made a
poem with
my breath
my body
in the dark salt wet
and still alive
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| I had a dream that PCN went really poorly |
[11 Apr 2006|10:56pm] |
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It really sucks that no one can come to PCN because its Cal Day. And no one from my family is coming.
I put so much time and effort and work into this big production, so it is something I really want to share with the people that I love and I want them to enjoy what Ive been working on for the past few months.
Not to mention how emotionally draining it is to put oneself out on stage to perform.
And only like half my friends can come.
That makes it really discouraging at the crucial point when weve all got to buckle down and put in a lot of work for the last long haul into the P weeks.
I guess Ill have to make them all watch the DVD...
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| I learned a new word today. |
[09 Apr 2006|10:21pm] |
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Also, checking the weather and seeing the little rain cloud icon for the next 10 days is not a happy moment.
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[09 Apr 2006|10:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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tired |
] |
I am so fucking over everything.
Im too tired to deal with...anything. Therefore, I am devoting my evening to sodoku and AIM.
So thats pretty cool...
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